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10 yr HS reunions

Started by Auryn, December 16, 2009, 10:18:34 AM

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Auryn

I am hoping for some insight.
My 10yr high school reunion is coming up this weekend- they are having 2, one at a club this saturday and then a potluck bbq on the beach the day after christmas. This reunion is not for the entire graduating class. In High School I was in a very small academic magnet program, there were 99 of us that graduated in 99' (yes I know).

It was a public school but I would say that 80% of the kids in the program were from very wealthy families- very upper middle class or even higher. I was in the 20% group from lower middle class (a bit lower for me actually).
My entire 4 years there I had 2 good friends. I havent spoken to any of them since high school. Even on facebook we 'reconnected' but havent had more than 2 casual compulsory conversations in 6 months.

Everyone else in my class I was friendly and social with, but nothing outside of class. In high school I didn't go to parties because I didn't drink or do any kind of drugs, and thats what most of the parties were.

Am I wrong for having no interest in going to these reunions?? I know they would be filled with forced social interaction and people just trying to one up each other on how well they are doing blah blah blah bs bs bs.

What do you guys think??
Scissors cuts Paper. Paper covers Rock. Rock crushes Lizard. Lizard? poisons Spock. Spock smashes Scissors. Scissors dec

Lord Dragonspyre

Quote from: Auryn on December 16, 2009, 10:18:34 AMAm I wrong for having no interest in going to these reunions??

Absolutely not. Based on what you've said, you have exactly nothing in common with these people, so why feel bad for not wanting to go? The only possible bright spot in going would be to see how the Jocks are now bald with a potbelly, the Popular Chicks are now frazzled, slightly overweight mothers chasing kids around, and see how the socially ostracized folks are now the well adjusted businessmen with no problems.
Corrupting Impressionable Youths Since 1976.

IBRSC#1475, RMG#820, IFRP#1276
Horseman of Debauchery

VIII

Auryn, I agree with FF Nerdity.  I have skipped my 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th, and 25th reunion for the same reasons you mentioned.  When I looked at the photos posted on-line after the last event, I recognised most of them, but realised that I had absolutely nothing in common with any of them.

My mother went to her 50th reunion a few years before she passed.  There were only 9 people and THEN they had something to talk about!  I'll shoot to make that one in 2028.
Former King Henry VIII
Renaissance Magazine Issue #66 Cover Boy

Captain Jack Wolfe

Count me in agreement as well.  I never bothered with my reunions because I still have nothing in common with those folk.  And I'm not the only one who feels this way, because the 25th  reunion was canceled due to lack of interest.  Pretty telling with a class of over 500.  ::)
"I'm not sure about people anymore. They're responsible for some pretty nutty stuff. Individuals I'm crazy about, though." ~ Opus

Lady Nicolette

I never went to any reunions, either.  Nor proms nor my graduation, for that matter, although I did graduate.  All of my friends were from other schools in the area or two grades higher than me.  Why go if you didn't have and still don't have anything in common?

On the other hand, those of us who are still living from my group of friends are planning a sort of reunion this February.  Some of us haven't seen each other since about 1977 (I graduated in '75), although I've kept one or two close friends among them...This is the closest thing to a reunion I'll ever have and I am looking forward to this one. 
"Into every rain a little life must fall." ~ Tom Rapp~Pearls Before Swine

Auryn

Thanks for the letting me know I'm not alone in feeling like it would be a waste of a saturday night.
I honestly rather sit at home watching a movie eating a whole tray of Ferrero Roches than hanging out with these people.

I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being too cynical.
Scissors cuts Paper. Paper covers Rock. Rock crushes Lizard. Lizard? poisons Spock. Spock smashes Scissors. Scissors dec

Noble Dreg

#6
I look at it this way...If I wanted to keep in touch with those people I would have...And indeed I do keep in close contact with several classmates.  It seems to me that getting together socially with a bunch of folks whose only commonality is a chance placement in the same school 10 years ago is pretty weak.  Why look back?
"Why a spoon cousin? Why not an axe?"
Because it's dull you twit, it'll hurt more. Now SEW, and keep the stitches small

Welsh Wench

#7
I had a class reunion in October. My class had 1100+ people in it.
I saw the pictures.
Am I glad I didn't go?
Yes.
I didn't recognize any of them.

My school was 80% Jewish. I was a shiksa (Gentile girl) and my boyfriends went to different schools.
I suppose if I wanted good kishkes or latkes I would have gone.
Show me your tan lines..and I'll show you mine!

I just want to be Layla.....

Zardoz

#8
Quote from: Full Frontal Nerdity on December 16, 2009, 10:30:52 AM
the Jocks are now bald with a potbelly, the Popular Chicks are now frazzled, slightly overweight mothers chasing kids around, and see how the socially ostracized folks are now the well adjusted businessmen with no problems.

Schadenfreude, the best reason to go!
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As seen in Renaissance Magazine

justsomeguytn

I was friends with maybe two people in my high school (very small, graduating class was only 60 people).  The rest were only interested in popularity or trying to impress each other with how smart and alternative they were.  These reunions are basically just for the people who were popular to relive their "golden" years.  There are a few people who get lucky later in life and go to show up the people they didn't like.  I've done pretty well but when the organizer called I had no interest in being around the scum any more now that I don't have to.  So I told her I had no interest in going, to never call me again, and hung up.

I've seen one or two of them since then.  One that was already a fat ball of dough in high school has ballooned to triple the size.  He's married to just about the ugliest woman I've ever seen.  The other is an assistant manager at a department store.  I don't really have anything against her but was never really friends with her either.

Lady Nicolette

Quote from: Welsh Wench on December 16, 2009, 11:45:09 AM
I suppose if I wanted good kishkes or latkes I would have gone.

This shiksa girl is making latkes tonight...And mine are really good.  You're invited WW!

What makes people popular in most school environments just doesn't tend to work as well on the outside.  I forget the exact statistic, but the suicide rate among those voted "most popular" in high school was higher than for those who weren't.  And their success rate if they didn't off themselves was way lower than most as well.  At least among my generation. 
"Into every rain a little life must fall." ~ Tom Rapp~Pearls Before Swine

Welsh Wench

Quote from: Lady Nicolette on December 16, 2009, 11:54:00 AM
Quote from: Welsh Wench on December 16, 2009, 11:45:09 AM
I suppose if I wanted good kishkes or latkes I would have gone.

This shiksa girl is making latkes tonight...And mine are really good.  You're invited WW!


I loved their pastries. Nothing like a Jewish bakery!

One thing I did pick up is very colourful language. Sometimes only a Yiddish word will do!
Show me your tan lines..and I'll show you mine!

I just want to be Layla.....

Zardoz

Not sure why, but my class (1982) had a 5 year reunion.  Most of the class had spent those years safely tucked away at a university someplace. I on the other hand, had quit college after 3 semesters, rode my bike from coast to coast, ran numbers in New Orleans, been shot at by free-lance Marxists in El Salvador, and held a couple of crap jobs, like tarring roofs in Houston summer.  

At the reunion I remarked to a similarly 'well traveled' friend that everybody looked "so shiney and new" compared to us!

At the 10 year it was quite different.  I was married, fat and happy, and the rest of them had finally been beat down by life.  I was glad I went.
"Pants are for guys with ugly legs"
Member of Clan McLotofus,
IBRSC# 1619,
As seen in Renaissance Magazine

Lady Nicolette

Quote from: Welsh Wench on December 16, 2009, 12:04:30 PM

I loved their pastries. Nothing like a Jewish bakery!

One thing I did pick up is very colourful language. Sometimes only a Yiddish word will do!

They did invent "oy vey!"  And of course a bunch more.  Like "meshuggenah," and "mensch,"  not usually seen in the same sentence...
"Into every rain a little life must fall." ~ Tom Rapp~Pearls Before Swine

RSLeask

I seem to be in the minority here as far as opinion.  While it isn't a bad thing that you don't feel like going to your reunion because of what you said, I would still say, it's a good idea to go.  Reasons why as follows:

1) Everyone has grown up.  10 years out in the real world, tend to change attitudes.  Those little cliques that existed, pretty much don't anymore.  Granted, I had more than a couple friends in high school, and they went to mine, and I talked with them a bit.  But I spent a majority of the time talking and catching up with people who I really didn't talk to all that much in high school.  It was... different.  Good kind of different.

2) It's interesting to see where everyone has landed in life.  People you expected to see succeed, that are actually in a rut in life.  People that weren't expected to go anywhere, now manager-level of companies.  Who's still driving the old beater they did in school, who's got the new cars (especially if you're one of the latter).  And the big thing is, no one's really judgmental of anyone's situation in life.  See above.

3) It's an excuse to go out, dress up, and have fun.  If nothing else, there's always that.  You'll probably find a couple others that are thinking the same, and if the party itself is a bust, people like that are easy to spot, and you can link up and have a blast.

4) Beyond number three, it's not just the party itself, but the afterparties that everyone ends up breaking off and heading various places to, where the real fun begins anyway.  If you got a small group of people at the reunion, head with them wherever you all decide.  If it's earlier than the reunion quit time, well... it's often better anyway.  And lasts the rest of the night, usually.

Honestly, I'm thinking you'd be pleasantly surprised if you go.  I know I was.  Everyone, no matter their walk of life, no matter where they wound up, had a great time.  The resounding complaint, honestly... the music was all current-day, and it would have been nice to hear the stuff from back then being played, lol.  But yeah, I'd definitely say take the time and go.
What's a Grecian Urn?  Are we talking union, or non-union?

Welsh Wench

Mine was really a case of 'do I go to the CHHS reunion or do I go to Paris?'
Let me think on that one.....

Bonjour!
Show me your tan lines..and I'll show you mine!

I just want to be Layla.....

Anna Iram

If you truely have absolutly no interest in spending time with any of these folks then I'd say skip it. The fun of going to a reunion is to remember the good times and replay the memories. If you didn't have any to share with any of the group then what's the point? Now if you *do* have even a few folks that you are wondering about, then I think you should go. Reunions are a great way to reconnect. Yes we do have Facebook and such, but my opinion is that face to face is more real and more truely social than Facebook.  Certainly I think you would bring alot to the party ( the beach party in particular sounds like fun) and I think you'll find that 10 years can make a big difference in how people interact. If you do get there and are bored out of your mind you can always make excuses.

I'm looking at a similar party..though way past the 10 year mark for me. I;ve not attended others for various reasons, but this years..I think I will. Why not? I think it will be interesting.

Muffin

#17
Hmmmm.. 10 years in my opinion is really not worth the effort.. I skipped both the 5 and 10 year reunions.. At this point people are still full of crap and full of themselves.. All I imagined for the 10 year was a room full of people lying about how well they were doing, and still treating people "beneath" them the same way they did back at good ol' RAHS..

I am currently debating going to my 15 year reunion that is coming up in 2010... I had several friends in high school, none of which I maintained contact with (due to a controlling ex-boyfriend.. but that's a story for another time).. I have reconnected with some through facebook, but haven't had much to say, after all this time, what is there to say? I wasn't unpopular in High School, but I sure wasn't one of the cool kids either.. I was a Cheerleader all the way up through my Senior year so most knew who I was, but I can't say the same for knowing who everyone else was.. I had a huge graduating class.. I was shy, so I was labeled stuck up by most..  Girls can be cruel, and I just can't decide if I give a rats butt about seeing any of those A$$hats again for as long as I live... Some people don't change, and getting together with a group of jackholes is not exactly my idea of a good time.. Then again it would be really fun to see some of the biggest meanies now that they have failed at life...
A Captains Wench

It's always Beer:30 here....

*sigh* So many kilts, so little time......

Ette

Butch

I was class of '80.  I went to my 10 yr, and was disappointed that so many people were still gathered in the cliques that existed in high school.  Heck, I joined the Marines 3 days after graduation, so I was well past that clique crap.  I did not enjoy my 10 year.

I skipped my 20, but will go to my 30 (if there is one) next year.

If you're still on the fence, then just pick one big event to attend; such as the dinner or possibly the meet and greet.  As others have said previously, you'll probably see how some of your classmates have changed (gained weight, gone bald, sex change, etc).  Who knows, maybe you'll re-connect with those two you facebooked recently.

Cheers!

Lady Renee Buchanan

I missed my 10th because I had just had a baby and was living in the Virgin Islands.  I went to the 20th, because I had missed the 10th.  I had fun, but it certainly wasn't worth it.  I agree with Butch, I found the cliques still to be evident, and the "popular kids" from back in the day still didn't talk to anyone who wasn't their friend during high school.

I had a nice time, but never made it to any others (which then were every 5 years) and most of them ended up being cancelled.  Of course, our school held it in a hotel and it was $125 a person, because they had an open bar.  Since I would have had to fly back to NJ, I figured the money I would have spent on one night would cover costs for my husband and me to go to faire several times - and buy new garb.
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Lady Rebecca

Granted, I only graduated a few years ago, but I can't imagine wanting to go to a HS reunion. It would be nice to reconnect with some of my friends (since I have only seen three since graduation, and haven't talked regularly with any of them), but there was so much more of my class that I didn't know.

However, I am already looking forward to college reunions. And I don't even graduate until Friday! But I feel like my (small) campus has so much more of a community feel than my HS had.

KeeperoftheBar

I had a very nice time at my 10th.  I visited with a few very close friends and watched the interaction among everyone else.  It was hilarious.  My 20th was less fun but still not too bad with the same close friends.  I didn't go to our 30th as I kind of forgot about it. 
Even if there is only one person you would like to see, it is worth going to.  You could always leave early.
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Member, Phoenix Risen

Noble Dreg

Quote from: Lady Renee Buchanan on December 16, 2009, 09:19:10 PM
I missed my 10th because I had just had a baby and was living in the Virgin Islands....

???


;D
"Why a spoon cousin? Why not an axe?"
Because it's dull you twit, it'll hurt more. Now SEW, and keep the stitches small

Auryn

#23
Thank you all for sharing your perspective, its why I love this place so much :).

Its pretty much settled that I am not going to either event.
I emailed on facebook the couple of people that I was interested in seeing at the reunion (emailed them last week), they have all been online and none of them have replied to me.

I have better things to do anyway- the reunion at the restaurant is tomorrow and the 26th (day of the bbq) I am going to the Tandy Christmas sale and then we are having Christmas with my boyfriend's mom.

*edited to fix dates I wrote down wrong*
Scissors cuts Paper. Paper covers Rock. Rock crushes Lizard. Lizard? poisons Spock. Spock smashes Scissors. Scissors dec

Butch

Auryn, did you go to Tandy this morning?  In KC, we had a snowstorm over the last couple of days.  My son and I dug out the driveway last night, and were able to get there right after 7 am this morning.  We bought a few nice items; some of the split suede that was on sale for .99 sq ft, and some rabbit skins, as well as a few other odds and ends.  Pretty cool sale!

Auryn

Butch,
I did not get to go as we had agreed to have christmas lunch with my boyfriend's mother on the 26th. We ended up not eating till about 3:30 but oh well.
Guess I wasn't meant to go.
Glad you got some good stuff.
I might pop in this afternoon to use my 50% off coupon- would have been nice to get the 40% off the entire bill coupon though.
Oh well
Scissors cuts Paper. Paper covers Rock. Rock crushes Lizard. Lizard? poisons Spock. Spock smashes Scissors. Scissors dec

Butch

That 40% was only off the non-discounted stuff.  They had to ring it separately.  Still a pretty good sale!  You'll be doing alright with a 50% coupon.  Good luck!

Auryn

blehh well thats false advertising.
Ok I don't feel so bad then.
Ive been pouring over the catalog to see what to use my 50% on- think ill go for a new blade for my tooling knife
Scissors cuts Paper. Paper covers Rock. Rock crushes Lizard. Lizard? poisons Spock. Spock smashes Scissors. Scissors dec

Rapier Half-Wit

Speaking from personal experience, the little bit of enjoyment that you may get from going will most likely be limited to seeing who didn't make it life, despite all their bravado back when. If you didn't like them back then, barring the slimest of chances that one of them had a life shattering experience which changed their world view (and therefore their personality), you aren't likely to suddenly like them now.

Save your money. Go to your favorite liquor store, by a couple of bottles, throw a party with all of the people that are most important to you now. Spend that time with those that matter the most to you. Life is too short as it is. Don't throw away even a few hours. Time and people are the two things that cannot be replaced in this life.
If her eyes aren't sparkling, you didn't do it right...