Clever but polite ways to deflect unwanted male attention....are there any?

[Rowan MacD]

  Lord Dragon,
 LOVE that button!  
 All of your advice is spot on.  It is far better to not get in a position that would need action in the first place.  Ounce of Prevention and all that.  However, we are talking about underage girls here.  Youth and inexperience fueled by ego-inflating attention can make for lapses in judgement about how far they can allow a situation to go, and that's why adults are needed to chaperon.
  In my experience supervising employees of the younger set I have had more 'problems' (more of an annoyance) with younger males  hanging around than older guys.  I know kids are kids, but slap and tickle is inappropriate especially when they are supposed to be working, and in a worst case scenario the drunk guy might get the idea in his head that it's OK to approach the girl when he observes her being playful with her boyfriend. I've seen it happen.  
   I'm not saying the girls need to be prudes, but they do need to be made aware of where they are at and who is around.   And when it looks like they are pushing the envelope, sometimes the adults have to be the adults, Buzzkill and all.
   
 
   

 
 

[Nighthawk]

Oh, I would most DEFINITELY give them the go-ahead to defend themselves, no matter what!!!  If someone lays a hand on them, then all attempts at politely defusing the situation go right out the window!!! 

I help teach self defense to girls getting ready to go into college. That's one thing we tell them. If someone lays hands on you after you have told them not to, then the assumption is that that person is planning on hurting you. All bets are off at that point.

Ironically, women are often brought up to be polite and non-physical regardless of the situation.  Never yell, don't hit, etc...  It is a shame that we don't teach self defense for girls in high school.  I was sexually harassed in college and didn't know how to deal with it.  To this day I wish I had canned him a good one.  Now I would.  I am currently taking kickboxing and plan on taking a few Krav Maga classes.  Some men think they have the right to be pimps just because they are men (no one on here, of course!).

You are SO right! That's one thing we try really hard, in an 8 hour class, to teach out of girls. That mothering instinct/training can get you into some serious trouble. I personally really like the idea of a whistle. I got my daughter a keychain with an alarm on it. It's an earsplitting screech, a lot like a car alarm.

A word of advice- look closely at the way you're being taught to kick. Are you using the top of your foot as a contact point? If so, STOP!! I have seen so many kickboxers end up in casts because of that. Those bones are fragile. The ball of the foot right behind the toes are the best contact points.

[Dinobabe]

A word of advice- look closely at the way you're being taught to kick. Are you using the top of your foot as a contact point? If so, STOP!! I have seen so many kickboxers end up in casts because of that. Those bones are fragile. The ball of the foot right behind the toes are the best contact points.

I've only taken 3 classes but the instructor is really big on correct use.  He was very specific about using the ball of your foot for straight on and your shin (too high vs too low) for side kicks.  I have quite a few bruises on my leg right now from lack of technique!  I showed him the bruise on my ankle.  He said the bruise should be higher!

[DancingDogDairy]

I want to thank everyone for the very thoughtful and helpful comments. I can see that in our case, a sign or pin might be taken as a challenge, and put an idea in a persons head that might not even have occurred to him otherwise.

A whistle is an excellent idea. Blowing it doesn't actually physically hurt anyone...at least not usually.

My 17 year old just wants to focus on her business, and my 13 year old just wants to be a kid, and play with her sisters and spend the money I pay her to babysit.

Hopefully we wont have any issues at all.

[Adriana Rose]

The fellow that taught me some self defence stuff always said if a guy grabs you and starts to hurt you take a souvenier, DNA is the key to catching people like that.

Also my brothers taught me alot, I was the youngest soo yeah.

[Lady Renee Buchanan]

I don't know if anyone mentioned this, didn't go back 3 pages of posts, but give a thought to what they are wearing.

I am sure your daughters are not in the least being provocative or suggestive in their dress, and you as a mother wouldn't allow that for young girls.

However......   there are a lot of drunk, stupid people around.  Some people think (and I've seen this, unfortunately) that if a woman wears a bodice, she is a wench and wants to be rowdy and bawdy.  The usually drunk guy thinking this doesn't differentiate between young girls wearing a bodice and a modest shirt or a mature woman showing whatever degree of "the girls" she chooses to.

Of course, those who know better realize this is not true.  And I certainly don't think in any case that what someone is wearing SHOULD make a difference as to unwanted attention, especially to an underage child.

But perhaps dressing them in a 1 piece dress  or something not as visible as a bodice and skirt might make it click in some drunk guy's head that she is NOT what he thinks of as a wench and he will leave her alone. 

Do I think this is right?  No.  But even modest dress can be misconstrued for someone who has been drinking, and if a change of clothes deflects some unwanted attention, it might be worth a try.

[Rowan MacD]

  Good point Lady Renee. 
  I've noticed that most of the younger girls working at fair tend to be more demurley dressed than the older women (probably due to momma nixing the push up bodice),  but there is still a risk of being 'painted with the same brush' no matter how they dress.   This happens more often at the Pirate fests.  It's a stereotype, and it sucks. 

[Nighthawk]

A word of advice- look closely at the way you're being taught to kick. Are you using the top of your foot as a contact point? If so, STOP!! I have seen so many kickboxers end up in casts because of that. Those bones are fragile. The ball of the foot right behind the toes are the best contact points.

I've only taken 3 classes but the instructor is really big on correct use.  He was very specific about using the ball of your foot for straight on and your shin (too high vs too low) for side kicks.  I have quite a few bruises on my leg right now from lack of technique!  I showed him the bruise on my ankle.  He said the bruise should be higher!

Perfect then! I have seen some kickboxing and teakwondo schools that have just horrified me.

[Captain Cornelius Howard Duckman]

Personally, I'd avoid the 'Dungeon Bait' signs, as most patrons might not get them. Hell, I first saw them this year, and my first thought was 'Oh, a kinky on- ... shiner bock, it's a play on jail bait, moving on.'  I'd also avoid anything that points out how old they are. I'd use a pin that says 'My boyfriend/father will beat you if you touch me' only clever-er or 'I'm not on interested in flirting' or 'I'm taken' anything that flat out declares her off limits.

[DT_Masters]

Strangely it works having a man around for that matter. I have had at least one guy working for me for the past oh 3 years and the amount of creepers was tolerable, then this year none of my guys came back and we had quite a few pet drunks and the really creepy slobbery kind of guys. Despite my attempts to scoot them along they kept coming back, then if one of my guy friends stopped by for a chat they were on their way. Its rather funny really.

Back to the topic at hand if there is a problem get a brute squad so to speak and have a man hang out be it to be a runner or a helper the creepiness may leave your girls alone.

Hmmmmmm, reminds me of when I was the only male in a belly dancing troupe or, a few years later, escorting very attractive psychology classmates when they wanted to do some nightclubbing during a conference. I don't recall anyone ever bugging them.

No offense is taking about the "brute squad". Being an escort as in "escort destroyer" I think rather plays to our egos.

[DancingDogDairy]

Thanks again for all of the help. The girls are extremely conservatively dressed by their own choice, so that is not a contributing factor.

We did not have any problems opening weekend, so I'm hopeful that the whole situation will turn out to be a nonissue.

[Monsignor de Beaumanoir]

Hang around, or get Warrior Monks like these to tactically position themselves around your location.
Works better than a 20-gauge galvannealed steel, interior locked, chastity belt!



Drive off unsolicited advances by hungry pilgrims with your very own Warrior Monk Chapter Rally!

Guaranteed or your salvation back.  

[Alysea]

This weekend at CRF a male friend bought my daughter a pin that states "I am way too young for what you are thinking!"  TO which she promply displayed it on her bodice.  Not to mention we hang around/near a large group of guys that my daughter is comfortable with and I worry less cause they won't let anyone near her if she doesn't want them too.

You may wish to get to know your neighbors, as someone mentioned, and find your girls some "Rennie uncles" as my daughter has them all over the faire.

[ravic]

Go over to the Enigma Booth, ask for Chameleon or Vampy, explain the situation, tell them I sent you. Then go over to Authentic Wardrobe, ask for Griffin or Ivy, same drill. Make friends with Barbarian cast that patrols your area. The food booths & pub near you have security radios. The girls will have plenty of places to run to & large people to hide behind if need be.

[amy]

too funny W/M.    You can guard my charge any day!