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The Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to do at the Renaissance Festival

Started by Captain Cornelius Howard Duckman, June 22, 2008, 09:43:27 PM

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Captain Cornelius Howard Duckman

So, some of you may have heard of a little list that's been circulating around. The things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the military? In essence, it's a list of things the man in questions has either a) done, b)seen happen, c) was informed he wasn't allowed to do, d)a clarification of the above, or e)just kind of happened.
For said list, see here
http://skippyslist.com/list/

What I propose to start here is the list of thing we're no longer allowed to do at a Renaissance Festival. Feel free to give as much or as little explanation for specific events as you need. Some of my own:

1)Not allowed to try and see how many Royals we can fit in a port-a-john
2)Must remind female patrons of the color of their shirts when attempting to recruit them to play Dueling Buckets.
3)I cannot do anybodies role better then them, even if I can.
4)Fifty inflatable (adult rated) sheep are not considered an appropriate coronation gift for the King of Scotland.
4.5)Especially not if I have access to a helium tank.
5) I can no longer pass around pictures of womans ankles to pass off as period pornogrophy.
6) Writing "Hi. -God" on a piece of wood is NOT a sign from God.
7) I am not allowed to encourage the audience in changing the script of a stage show, no matter how funny it might be, even if the performers approve.
8) It doesn't matter of Jenny Breeden did it, leaf blowers are not allowed on faire site during hours.

Go wild!

renren

*snortgiggle*

Gotta show that to the hubby, that's his nickname! ;D
Renren
Wench  #  3783
Treasure Guardian and giggling interrogator of the "Feisty Lady"

Guppy # 32 ROoL

Cobaltblu

8.  Shall NOT polish armored boots to a mirror-like shine to see up ladies dresses.
Click on my website icon on the left to view my photo album of garb and items.

renren

9. shall not polish ladies' shoes in the same manner, to see up men's kilts!
Renren
Wench  #  3783
Treasure Guardian and giggling interrogator of the "Feisty Lady"

Guppy # 32 ROoL

Synikul

I may not distribute small bottles of Bacardi rum to cast members, vendors, or the serious playtrons I see week after week.

Distributing them with my own label taped to the bottle bearing a cartoon caricature of me, clearly identifying myself as the source, probably isn't a good idea, even if it's funny.

Never drop one right in front of a security guard.
(A few members of this forum recieved these from me. ;))

KeeperoftheBar

Shall not incite the pre-opening crowd to storm the gates before the opening cannon fires.
Landshark # 97
Member, Phoenix Risen

Captain Jack Wolfe

Not allowed to fall into the Queen's procession and begin loudly calling "Privy parade!"
"I'm not sure about people anymore. They're responsible for some pretty nutty stuff. Individuals I'm crazy about, though." ~ Opus

Cobaltblu

Shall NOT setup cast member pirates, for my own laughs, who have scripted paytron interaction sketches...by carrying a small treasure chest with a rubber buttocks inside...and opening and displaying it when they say they want my "booty".
Click on my website icon on the left to view my photo album of garb and items.

*Teach*

Not allowed to insert new lines into "ball of ballimore". Even if it helps out the performers who "accidentally" left themselves off. Even if they thought it was funny too.
Not allowed to... but still gonna!

*still allowed to hand out my samples of rum though. I doubt they could stop me really lol.*
*Got more Rum?* "Here, Try This!"
http://forums.wearephoenixrisen.com

Dayna

No longer allowed to show fellow cast members my son's blue ribbon.  In reality, said child was an anatomically correct cabbage patch doll in a shirt and kilt, and blue ribbon.

Dayna
Dayna Thomas
Nixie's Mom
Bristol FoF Hench
Education Goddess...yeah, right
FoF Merchant Liason/Merchandizing Maven

jinx

No longer allowed to use Yon Kilt Lifting Stick on pretzel sellers.

No, not even the mirrored end.

NO, not even a "little."

Still allowed, however, to carry it 'round with the sign reading "Smile if thou art not wearing any undergarments."

....NO, not even if they -do- smile. 
Lust.
Pirate.
Wench.
Mischievous Little Imp.
Dinosaur.

Blue66669

Shall not take liberties with other women's playtoys.
Shall not forget to wear skivvies if I'm gonna be lifting my skirts.
Shall not chase down the "mustard man".
Shall not pop pills at Queen's Tea.
Shall not force loki on the unwilling, unless they just REALLY need to get drunk.
Blaidd Drwg

Cobaltblu

I shall not make a sign with the words "Free GRAB" and a picture of some pants and shirts on it...and then grope the ladies who come over wanting free garb but just thought I was bad at spelling.

Also I shall not use the excuse that "it DOES say FREE GRAB!".

Regards,

CB
Click on my website icon on the left to view my photo album of garb and items.

Scarlett

Skippy (or Skipette) shall not pinch the bum of attractive men in tights  because "They were asking for it."
Mimosas - They're Not Just For Breakfast Anymore
SWG, Chapter 1, co-founding member

Blue66669

I shall not take the fact that the man wore the kilt in the first place as an open invitation for kilt checking.
Blaidd Drwg