The Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to do at the Renaissance Festival

[Friar Rohn the Chronicler]

I'm not allowed to wear my satyr outfit, and then ask every scot I see if they're my father, no matter how much my wife enjoys it.

Those shameless Scots must have been passing through Oklahoma a few years ago. I still see a few of their kindred hanging 'round our faire.....



Friar Rohn

[Baron Doune]

Skippy should never, ever give the Queen a very small whip (nipple whip) and then show her how to use it on the King...very bad Skippy!

I'm writing all these down btw.

[jinx]

-Even though The Swordsmen sing "Your kind donations will keep us out of your hooooome," Skippy is not allowed to ask them "If I donate, it will keep you out of my home, yes?"  And when Skippy gets the affirmative, Skippy may not reply "So, if I -take- your donations, does that mean you will come TO my home?"

-Skippy is no longer permitted to run from a crowd of kilted men screaming "The Scots are coming, the Scots are coming!  DEAR GOD, HIDE YOUR SHEEP!  THE SCOTS ARE COMING!" ...Even if it -does- make the Queen laugh.  ESPECIALLY if it makes the Queen laugh so hard she snorts.  (This comes from a friend at a different Faire, not myself.)

-Skippy is no longer allowed to use her hands to "size up" potential crew members for her make-believe ship...The Nutty Royale.

-Skippy is no longer allowed to talk about the Mud Monsters that live in the mud and steal all cheese...especially if this causes a cast member to flail about in the mud frantically, trying to retrieve said cheese.

-Skippy is no longer allowed to give candy to the trolls lurking under the bridge.  (In this case, a friend was Skippy, and I was the one screaming "How many times do I have to tell you not to give candy to strangers?!")

-Skippy is no longer allowed to respond to the question "Does your lady need a rose for those?" with "Do you need a hat for that?"

[Captain Cornelius Howard Duckman]

I am no longer allowed to talk about King Richard like he was George Bush in order to drum up support for Prince John.

(C'mon, Richard? He got us into that war in the middle east we can't get out of. Sure, bring the word of god to the heathens, but when are the troops gonna come home?)

[Captain Cornelius Howard Duckman]

No asking girls in schoolgirl outfits (plaid pleated skirts) what clan they are, it only confuses them.

[Taffy Saltwater]

Can no longer ask the beggar if he would knock off the banging of pans if a generous donation was made.  Heat, hat, headache, godawful noise do not a happy Skippy make.

[Just Randall]

Can no longer ask the beggar if he would knock off the banging of pans if a generous donation was made.  Heat, hat, headache, godawful noise do not a happy Skippy make.

Must remember to drop a 20 in Scratch's pan when Taffy is around...

[Tipsy Gypsy]

Unfortunately, Scratch said last season that it was his last- he's retiring.

Gonna miss that guy! 

[PurpleDragon]

Can no longer ask the beggar if he would knock off the banging of pans if a generous donation was made.  Heat, hat, headache, godawful noise do not a happy Skippy make.

Must remember to drop a 20 in Scratch's pan when Taffy is around...

I have a friend that actually dropped a $100.00 into Scratch's pan one season.  The following year I saw Scratch at Scarby and as I approached, I pulled out my cash (had a couple of $100's) and Scratch recognized me from that time with my friend and just started shaking his head "NO" and then I dropped a $20.00 into his pan.. LOL

[Just Randall]

Gordo might be retiring Scratch full time, but I'll bet he shows up ocassionally to beat himself stupid.

[Tipsy Gypsy]

I hope so!

[Rage]

Skippy is no longer allowed to:

1. give the cheap scotch drinking Baron good rum. this decried by the Baroness....  Amazing what 80 proof rum does to a persons 40 proof scotch system.....

2. Walk up to unsuspecting patrons and ask if he can get a picture with them (instead of the other way around). <-- yeah so that goes into effected after MNRF opening weekend....lol...

[Feline Groovy]

Skippy is no longer allowed to casually drift in with a group of goth kids, grungy pirates, or similar, and start humming, 'I Feel Pretty.'

[Peddlin]

But what if Skippy does feel pretty? 

[Aiacha]

Skippy is no longer allowed to:
2. Walk up to unsuspecting patrons and ask if he can get a picture with them (instead of the other way around). <-- yeah so that goes into effected after MNRF opening weekend....lol...

That sounds GREAT!