This one time, at faire camp...

[maeven]

*hums "Aqualung"*

Don't ask me why I just thought that... LOL!!!!

[Mouse]

This one time, at faire camp..I beat a drunken camp encroacher with a flute...it was a melodic duet...Okay, that's a bit of a stretch..I threw a wooden flute at one who wouldn't leave. Less melodic, more discord as the guy who it belong to was not pleased.....he was shine on it anyways.

Shitee turns to shine eh? It appears you can polish a turd after all...

[JackGonzo, MD]

This one time, at faire camp..I beat a drunken camp encroacher with a flute...it was a melodic duet...Okay, that's a bit of a stretch..I threw a wooden flute at one who wouldn't leave. Less melodic, more discord as the guy who it belong to was not pleased.....he was shine on it anyways.

Shitee turns to shine eh? It appears you can polish a turd after all...

[Rani Zemirah]

Between my preggo self having to get up, oh every 5 minutes it seemed, to go to the port-a-potty in the middle in the freezing night, and having Teach show us Llamas in Hats (Carrrrllllllll!!!!!!!!), going to Miss April's campsite and scarfing down cake pops with spicy crackers, and visiting McShugg's camp with Meggers, I have nothing but smiles when I think of faire camping... and that was just my first time out there camping! lol...

If I make it for Halloween I plan on bring my Kreuig again too

Splendid  Especially if it's chilly like last time!

I always know where to find Scally on chilly mornings...   

All I would need is someone with a Generator.. I bet I could totally convience bear to let me plug in for a bit over there in turn for hot coffee, hot chocolate, or hot tea

Oh, I think Dorothy and Sheila would be quite happy to convince him if he had to stop and think about it!    They always want coffee in the morning...

[Riot]

Between my preggo self having to get up, oh every 5 minutes it seemed, to go to the port-a-potty in the middle in the freezing night, and having Teach show us Llamas in Hats (Carrrrllllllll!!!!!!!!), going to Miss April's campsite and scarfing down cake pops with spicy crackers, and visiting McShugg's camp with Meggers, I have nothing but smiles when I think of faire camping... and that was just my first time out there camping! lol...

If I make it for Halloween I plan on bring my Kreuig again too

Splendid  Especially if it's chilly like last time!

I always know where to find Scally on chilly mornings...   

All I would need is someone with a Generator.. I bet I could totally convience bear to let me plug in for a bit over there in turn for hot coffee, hot chocolate, or hot tea

Oh, I think Dorothy and Sheila would be quite happy to convince him if he had to stop and think about it!    They always want coffee in the morning...

Oh I"m sure they would, besides I can always pull out "But my boobs are on your wall" that usually get a good laugh from him

[Breandan]

And now, for one of the classics: The Tale of the Atlantean Tent and Flying Drunkards 

Back in '98, in November, there was what could only be described as a torrent of biblical proportions. This was the weekend that DPS came out and ordered a mandatory evacuation of the faire grounds due to flooding. Well, not wanting to be arrested or drown, we decided to pack up camp and head back to Corpus Christi. As one might imagine, there were a few snafus.

You see, I had celebrated the nuptuals of my first marriage that day (and the events of the day pretty much foretold the rest of that stormy marriage, just as the wondrous day of my second marriage foretold the joy I have now), and my brothers had gone forth and become rather inebriated. Actually, that is being both kind to them and misleading to you... they engaged in the tractor-pull of hardcore drinking binges, and were forced to give wide berth to any open flames or cigarettes lest the alcohol vapor exuding from their pores cause them to spontaneously combust. The second ingredient in this recipe for amusement was the state of our camp. Our tents had collapsed under the drenching they had received, and had done so into the knee-deep river of mud that flowed through them. Thankfully, we had emptied them early in the day, so only the tents had been the victims of liquefaction. To appropriately set the scene, the row we were camping on had become a river as water flowed from the road through Participants to the EB downhill towards the rapidly growing lake at the treeline. Our tents had been caught in that flood, and as I waded through the water, I was amazed that it not only had a current- much like the fast-moving shallow river it was- but a surprisingly strong one.
And now, we bring it all together.

I foolishly enlisted the aid of the career alcoholics I call brothers, and their role model Ken, to assist me in trying to rescue our tents from a watery grave. I did not think that it was possible to make the situation worse, and drown the tents even more, but after an hour there was nary a scrap of tent to be seen, and one forlorn pole sticking up from the water like a last defiant spire of a drowned monument was all that marked their final resting place. At this point, the order became mandatory, and we were told to get the hell out, no arguments. Somehow this inspired my dear beloved brother Marty to leap backwards through the air into Ken's arms with a laughing cry of "CATCH ME! WHEEEE!", followed by a splush (not quite a splash due to the mud content of the now thigh-deep water). I turned to see marty laying on his back in the water-mud laughing and flailing as if making snow-angels, and saw a frantically waving hand emerge from the water beside him, accompanied by a torrent of mead-scented bubbles.

We pulled my sauced brother up, but could not find Ken. Somehow, he had shifted under the water, but was mired in the mud and unable to pull himself loose. We grabbed his hand as it came back up and pulled, and with a sound I can only describe as pornographically grotesque he splorched to the surface, a rust-red mud golem of drunken glory. Thus began the haggling, threats, pleas, and rock-paper-scissors games to decide who's car mud-boy was going to ride in. In the end, it was decided that he be hosed off and stuffed in Marty's car, as he was the party responsible.

We never did recover the tent. I did come back later and found where it was, the tip of a pole sticking up from the hard-baked ground, but I figure it will give some future archeologist something to ponder 

[JackGonzo, MD]

Best. Story. Ever.

[Rani Zemirah]

Between my preggo self having to get up, oh every 5 minutes it seemed, to go to the port-a-potty in the middle in the freezing night, and having Teach show us Llamas in Hats (Carrrrllllllll!!!!!!!!), going to Miss April's campsite and scarfing down cake pops with spicy crackers, and visiting McShugg's camp with Meggers, I have nothing but smiles when I think of faire camping... and that was just my first time out there camping! lol...

If I make it for Halloween I plan on bring my Kreuig again too

Splendid  Especially if it's chilly like last time!

I always know where to find Scally on chilly mornings...   

All I would need is someone with a Generator.. I bet I could totally convience bear to let me plug in for a bit over there in turn for hot coffee, hot chocolate, or hot tea

Oh, I think Dorothy and Sheila would be quite happy to convince him if he had to stop and think about it!    They always want coffee in the morning...

Oh I"m sure they would, besides I can always pull out "But my boobs are on your wall" that usually get a good laugh from him

I know that picture... and what does it say about me that I can tell whose are whose?    heheh

[Breandan]

Not sure if I should post the Port-a-Potty of Doom, that one's pretty bad >.<

[Mouse]

Having read that story once..yes...yes you should.

[scarletnyx]

Not sure if I should post the Port-a-Potty of Doom, that one's pretty bad >.<

Saying that only makes us want to hear it more.

[maeven]

Not sure if I should post the Port-a-Potty of Doom, that one's pretty bad >.<

Saying that only makes us want to hear it more.

Indeed! Do tell!

[LadyJessica]

...the weekend of Lady Jessica's and my "Love & Joy" Tour...

I'm not nearly as good of a story teller as Breandan but here goes...

Riot and I had just finished with the Wine Tasting, after which, a friend bought me a spanker and had Marcella and Haley sign it.  When we got back out to camp that evening we really didn't want to sit around so we grabbed a bucket of candy, two FULL bottles of loki, and she grabbed a toy cat'o'nines that she'd snagged from the pirate auction and I had my new spanker and we procceded to make our rounds to the various camps.  Upon entering the first camp we came to, Drunken Gnomes, we loudly stated "We bring gifts of love and joy! Which would you like?" (Love being the loki and joy being the spankers and floggers). Once they saw that they knew us, we were set upon to share the loki and give out spankings and they shared some of their loki as well. And thus the greeting and the sharing continued around the ENTIRE campgrounds.  By the time we made it back to our camp the loki was gone (mostly drunk by the two of us) the candy was gone, replaced, and gone again (not eaten buy us...except for the Blow pops), and our hands hurt from give spankings...but we also had gained 3 foot long pixi sticks, a signed picture of an Elvis impersonator, one new bottle of loki (which we finished off before we got back to camp), and so many glow sticks and flashing button I can't count them all.  We had so much fun on that first round we decided to go out again but halfway through I twisted my ankle and at about that time Mike, the officer at that time, was there on his 4 wheeler so I climbed in behind him and Riot sat on the front facing him and we took turns feeding him sips of loki for the next hour as he made his run around the campgrounds.

[az]

about four years ago at faire we set up in our usual spot. sometime in the evening a group of teenege ravers set up next to us. that saturday they starting blaring their music via a complete DJ set up with speakers and all, we put up with it until around midnight then asked them politely if they would turn it down just a bit seeing as how we couldnt hear each other even if we were in the same tent.  they replied by cursing us and telling us we were too old and turn up the foul crap they were plaing. at this point many of them were obviously high, drunk and on x. after talking to security and being told there was nothing they could. we once again tried diplomacy. and were greeted with the same response. at that point. Queen Amy. who is known for being mild, level headed and an most refined lady pick up a rather large oshkosh fire poking stick and preceed to attempt to take on the whole group. after we calmed her down we came up with a new plan of attack.
we surrounded their camp with our vehicles and turned our brights on. if you dont know . bright lights are not the friend of people on extasy. after much begging from the little brats for us to turn them off we came to a truce of sorts. the following morning we were thoughtful enough to set up a stereo and awaken them with a lovely opera next to their tents . being that most had only just gone to bed they didnt seem to appreciate it as much as we thought.
we were then entertained even more when a caravan of cars entered their camp and several angry mothers exited to retrieve their errand teens. as  remaining ones prepared to leave they discovered the batteries in their cars had run down because they ran their equipment with it the night before.we where nearly doubled over from laughing at this point and to add to our merriment we watched as two teens came over and humbly begged our forgiveness and asked for a battery jump.  we naturally obliged as we felt Karma had repaid them well. it was definitely a memorable weekend.

[Riot]

...the weekend of Lady Jessica's and my "Love & Joy" Tour...

I'm not nearly as good of a story teller as Breandan but here goes...

Riot and I had just finished with the Wine Tasting, after which, a friend bought me a spanker and had Marcella and Haley sign it.  When we got back out to camp that evening we really didn't want to sit around so we grabbed a bucket of candy, two FULL bottles of loki, and she grabbed a toy cat'o'nines that she'd snagged from the pirate auction and I had my new spanker and we procceded to make our rounds to the various camps.  Upon entering the first camp we came to, Drunken Gnomes, we loudly stated "We bring gifts of love and joy! Which would you like?" (Love being the loki and joy being the spankers and floggers). Once they saw that they knew us, we were set upon to share the loki and give out spankings and they shared some of their loki as well. And thus the greeting and the sharing continued around the ENTIRE campgrounds.  By the time we made it back to our camp the loki was gone (mostly drunk by the two of us) the candy was gone, replaced, and gone again (not eaten buy us...except for the Blow pops), and our hands hurt from give spankings...but we also had gained 3 foot long pixi sticks, a signed picture of an Elvis impersonator, one new bottle of loki (which we finished off before we got back to camp), and so many glow sticks and flashing button I can't count them all.  We had so much fun on that first round we decided to go out again but halfway through I twisted my ankle and at about that time Mike, the officer at that time, was there on his 4 wheeler so I climbed in behind him and Riot sat on the front facing him and we took turns feeding him sips of loki for the next hour as he made his run around the campgrounds.

Yes Elvis was stick out of my butt, and Mike's "Drink me!" lol