Funny Ren Sayings or quotes

[Molly Bookwench]

Also about lacing a bodic

If you can breath it is not tight enough!

[Messyn McCleavage]

From an extremely attractive woman selling pretzels at Scarborough...

"Buy hot twisted bread from a hot twisted wench."

Nice!!
Reminds me of the pickle guys, "Taste my big, juicy, salty, hard pickle"

After 7 years, I still get a kick out of when I introduce myself to mundanes.
(bows) "Mess in M' cleavage"
"You want me to what?"
"Messyn McCleavage, of the Clan McCleavage," (matter of factly.)
"There's.. a whole CLAN of you?!"
"Aye, and I'm the smallest of the clan."
(stutters gibberish)
"If you spill your ale again I shall have to flog you."

[jinx]

One of my first trips to faire, at the end of the day, one of the people my friends had introduced me to was saying good-bye.  As we parted ways to walk to our cars, he yells the following:

"Be good!" (turns and takes a few steps)
"Oh, but...if you can't be good, be good at it!"
(turns and takes a few more steps)
"And, uh, if that's the case, may I be present?"

I've never forgotten that, and I still giggle every time someone tells me to be good.  =D

[Hawkwind]

One of my first trips to faire, at the end of the day, one of the people my friends had introduced me to was saying good-bye.  As we parted ways to walk to our cars, he yells the following:

"Be good!" (turns and takes a few steps)
"Oh, but...if you can't be good, be good at it!"
(turns and takes a few more steps)
"And, uh, if that's the case, may I be present?"

I've never forgotten that, and I still giggle every time someone tells me to be good.  =D

HA!

My Grandfather had a similar saying. When I was in college if he was at the house when we were going out on a Friday night he would say "Be careful....... and if you can't be careful, name it after me!"

Coming from a 70 year old man always CRACKED my friends up.

[Count Adolfo]

For years, I have been telling the lasses I am only good at getting them out of their dresses when asked to lace bodices (I really am no good at lacing...)

While speaking with a lass about playing my Countess... an idea she seemed fond of but reluctant to actually commit to, I told her "this is the hardest I've ever worked trying to put a woman INTO a dress..."

Many thanks to the brilliant puntificator who gave me "Remember, in a Democracy it's your vote that counts... but in a feudalism, it's your Count that votes."

I was at a local Faire when I used this variation on an old joke...  "Before ye judge a man, ye should walk a mile in 'is boots.  That way, if he goes for 'is sword, ye be a mile away... and ye 'ave 'is boots"

During Roguings, a mastery of the tongue is a most desirable trait and while in my earlier years in the Guild, I stole... er... 'appropriated' this gem from a more experienced chap-
"From the moment I first laid eyes on ye, I thought to myself... 'Aphrodite must be so p---ed off right now'"

I was at the NY Faire and overheard a couple ask a woman in noble garb "Do you know where the bathrooms are?" to which she replied "of course... you don't think I'd soil such fineries, do you?" and spun around as if modeling the gown... then started to walk away as if she weren't going to help them. 

[BLAKDUKE]

I was at the NY Faire and overheard a couple ask a woman in noble garb "Do you know where the bathrooms are?" to which she replied "of course... you don't think I'd soil such fineries, do you?" and spun around as if modeling the gown... then started to walk away as if she weren't going to help them.  /quote]

On these occasions, when asked this question we have raised our voices on high and announced a "PRIVIE PARADE" and escorted the lady to the Privies to the utter embarassment of her and her entire clan.  We do the same with the men as well, just so we are not accused of gender bigotry, which by the way is legal in our time frame.

[Messyn McCleavage]

We just put up for sale a chainmaille shirt in our sword booth. A young lad asked his mother, "Is this what they used to wear before they had clothes?" His mother answered, "Yes."

[Blushing]

A Renaissance faire is just an excuse to wear funny clothing and run amok. (attributed to James Dooley Green)

(I'm tempted to add ... Among other activities of course!)

[RumbaRue]

My partner's famous saying especially for pirates:

Be good or don't get caught! 

[ladyecho]

     When my mom first got into faires with me her favorite was CRF because of Queen Eleanor. It got to where the two of them would look for each other and carry on hour long conversations, but with my mom in modern voice and the Queen in period. I would have to walk away  to keep from laughing because they understood each other without having to ask to explain what they were saying.  MOM~ I thought you would be here!
                        QUEEN~ Good day my dear friend. I have searched for thee
                                    among the hour - and you have with you your mobile chair.

To those who are confused, My mom would find her first and call out to her, totally ignoring the royalty around them, like she would call out to a family member. The Queen would stop what she was doing to come talk to my mom, while still in character! And momma was in her wheel chair (mobile chair). You see why I had to walk away at times?

[jcbanner]

We just put up for sale a chainmaille shirt in our sword booth. A young lad asked his mother, "Is this what they used to wear before they had clothes?" His mother answered, "Yes."

Chainmaile, what people wore before inventing clothes.  thats priceless

[BagPipeBabe]

When people ask me why I wear a tail I say "everyone needs a little tail"

[robert of armstrong]

People are constantly coming up to me and asking (due to what I am wearing, see photo to the left)

"Aren't you hot?"

To the ladies I respond "Why thank you, m'lady."

To the gentles I respond "Thank you, but my preferences are not that way leaning."

[Adriana Rose]

I always get asked if the bodice is tight by the 'danes mostly by the me

I respond in my sweetest voice "No my Lord they are naturally this perky" normally causing the rest of thier group to snort thier beverage out thier nose

[Lord Figaro]

"A Rennie is never drunk as long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth."

...I had always heard that was a Scotman!

Way I heard it, it was, a good bar tender doesn't stop pouring unless you can't hold onto a blade of grass and you fall off the earth.

One of my faves is when danes ask about the kilt. We all know the lines that go with it.