Advice for the Shy?

[Crystal]

Two years ago I went to a fair and I loved it. This year I am excited about completing my costume (a faun) and wearing it out to TRF.

Unfortunately, there is a problem that I wish I could control. I admit, I'm horribly shy.

I love making costumes, but I myself don't even know if I have the guts to go out to a fest and wear them and perform in character. I have limited talents- perhaps I'm just scared my costume will look horrible or come a loose! When I'm finished, I would love to post a photo for critique so I know if I need to fix something. Fresh eyes are always good when it comes to those kind of things!

Although I would love to be a certain thing, I'm quite scared of standing out. While most people who dress, I assume, will be in period costume I will be a mythological creature with goat legs, horns, and hooves roaming around!

If I had a friend accompanying me, I don't think I'd be so wary about wearing my costume. My friends that do like renfest are off to college and I'm stuck here with those who do not like renfests! Only my mom will be going with me and she refuses to dress up!

So I kindly ask advice or opinions from all who have any about performing (such as accent and wording) and well, just getting over shyness, for those who are (extremely) new and want to get into the hang of things!

Many thanks!

[Ferret]

Concentrate more on going and having a blast than on standing out. Most people won't even know you. And a lot will be envious of your outfit.

You are worrying about things that won't happen.
Ferret

[Tygrkat]

Definitely in agreement with Ferret - just enjoy yourself!

       ..and a lot people go to faires dressed as fae and wizards and the like...plenty of fantasy creatures mixed in with the period and period-like garb, so a faun won't be as far-fetched as you may think.

Also, I may be wrong, but aren't fauns a bit shy by nature? You could play with that as a part of your character when/if you're feeling like interacting, and I'll bet you'll be feeling more comfortable in no time 

Have fun!!

[jcbanner]

The first time I wore garb in public, yes, I was shy, and afraid of how people would react. (even though I WAS at a renfaire where there were SEVERAL people in garb)

I have a few bits of advise, and the most important is to know your character well. what does your character do, why do they do it? there are questionairs that will aid with this if you need help with that.

But once you know your character, the rest becomes easier.  if you encounter something, you already know how your character would react, so react in that manor. By the end you your first day, you will have spent so much time responding to other people how your character would respond that you wont even notice the garb any more, it will just be another sett of clothing.

also, if you feel your self becoming self conscience, use that energy and play up EVERY THING you are doing at the moment, become really over the top! and ententionally draw attention to yourself, even if only from one or two other people playing along.  by the time you leave that spot, your heart will be pounding, adrenalin rushing, and you might even be a bit dizzy as you reflect on what you were just doing a moment ago as you walk away.  welcome to the euphoric rush.  It becomes an addiction.  Its kind of like getting used to the water by diving in to the deep end at the pool.  everything calm, then a sudden rush followed by a quick shock to the senses, but once through it, you can do anything.

[Wolfden]

First, let me say that I am a living and breathing textbook definition of an introvert. I have taken the Meyers-Briggs so many times and, if you are familiar with it, I am an INTJ, strong on the I for introvert. I had the same difficulty several years ago when I first started going in garb, and also going alone to faire. Today, I still attend alone but have gotten over the "anxiety" of being in garb but I do admit, I will not stop anywhere to or from faire without first changing. Once you get to faire you will quickly fit in and the shyness will subside. My advice is to just put on your costume and go, kind of like ripping a bandaid off quickly, those jitters will subside after you get comfortable. As to worrying about mannerisms and accent, work on that later, just go out now and have fun. Many of us, in fact I would say most of us, do not have these down so let your character develop over time. Many introverts spend all of our time planning, trying to make the perfect outcome and before we know it, the situation passes us by and we are left standing alone. One final thought: As part of your costume work in some sort of mask or facial covering, particularly over or around the eyes. Psychologically, this allows you to "hide" a bit; It's kind of like wearing sunglasses when you don't want others to look into your eyes. This may help reduce the anxiety a bit. My costume is a tunic with hood; When I am feeling a little self conscious, I just pull the hood up and let it sit low over my brow and go to my mental happy place.  Remember, faire is your fantasy so go out, make it what you want and have fun!

[Macintyre]

who care what other people think.  i know several people that are very shy..until they get to fair and then it's on like donkey kong.  they become completely different people and are more out going then anybody probably should be.  just have fun and don't be afraid to go up to someone and say hi.  i promise you won't get a negative response, and if you do, then i'll buy you a drink. 

[Var Greyshadow]

At TRF you don't have to worry about standing out.  After all, we have a Centaur, and I've even seen another faun.  There are plenty of fantasy characters at TRF.  Go, and don't worry too much about being in character.  Enjoy all the attention you're going to get for your garb, and of course, come to the R/F meet-n-greet at the Prince of Wales Pub at noon!

[Trillium]

Come to TRF and enjoy yourself and meet lots of new friends who enjoy the same thing as you!  You will get more comfortable as time goes by, don't worry about accents or character yet, just get comfortable in your garb.

[LadyElizabeth]

I think each character and each costume is ALWAYS a work in progess.  I made my fairy garb a full year ago and have been wearing it to tons of fairs in the in between, but I'm always adding piecing to it, always learning more about my character and nothing is ever "finished".  Don't get discouraged if the outfit falls off your shoulder or sticks out in weird places.  Take note of it, also TAKE SAFETY pins for the first time wearing, and then adjust it when you get home.  I'm sure you'll find more things you want to add, but htat doesn't make the first wearing of it also special.  I'm a serious perfectionist and so it's taken a while for me to be "OK" with costume adjustments needed after the first time wearing or even the 10th time!! 

And as for talking, I think you ought to try whatever you feel comfortable with.  If you believe your faun doesn't talk much at all, which in sooth probably they are a bit of a shy creature, then it's OK to not talk.  Or even to run and hide behind a tree and look out all cute if someone scares you.... 

I'd also recommend going and playing with the fairies some in the gardens.  They are mythical creatures too and very friendly and can help you get in charcter.  They also DO NOT talk at all, so you shouldn't be shy around them.  Just go sit on the grass with them and observe and interact if you feel like it....

And last recommendation has already been mentioned, go to the Prince of Wales tavern at noon either sat or sun and meet some R/Fers and then you'll have new friends to come with next time hopefully!!

[Cormac]

I hope you will find like I did that the vast majority of people at the faire are very warm and friendly.  If I am feeling a little reserved I'll sometimes step back a little and watch people interact with cast in the lanes or I'll take in a show.  This ususally relaxes me a little so I can inteact and enjoy myself.  I found a good ice breaker is asking someone about a particular aspect of their garb.  It can take a lot to ask that first question but once you do it can open up some very interesting conversations.

So go and take it at your own pace and most importatnly have some fun!

[Hawkwind]

Great advice Lady E.

I'll be looking for R/Fers at Noon on the 1st of November!

~Hawkwind~

[Messyn McCleavage]

If you really want someone to escort you, wear a rope (or leather/suede?) collar with leash and walk into the pub. Quietly approach playtrons who look like they might be interested. It won't take long before they're fighting over you!

[Crystal]

I appreciate all of your kind comments and advice! Many thanks!

It irks me that my shyness gets in the way of what I want to do. Heh, I'm sure after a little while of walking around, I'll feel more at ease.
I'm not the type to go up to others and talk however, but hopefully I'll conjure up the guts to do so (or least have a decent conversation!).
I planned on going only weekend this season, but perhaps I can go twice to get the hang of things and feel more comfy.

Once again, thank you all!

[jinx]

I can be terribly, horribly shy (that fact tends to be a shock to those that know me really well), because I'm very...socially awkward.  This is really the first year I've actually even begun to come out of my shell at Faire.  Y'know what did it?  This lot of people here.  Once I started hanging around with some of the R/Fers that attend my faire, and got comfortable, I realized that I was having a LOT more fun.  Now, I've always had fun at faire, of course, but I had so much fun over the past season, I simply did not want to leave.  A warmer, friendlier bunch of people you'll never meet.  =D  All I had to do was put myself out there once and say "Hi, I'm Jinx, from the forums...you're (insert person's screenname here), right?"  And that was all she wrote.

[Tipsy Gypsy]

Hi Crystal,

I'm what I call a "closet introvert". Shy folks seem to handle it one of two ways- turn inward, or push outward like I do.  Truthfully, the extoversion serves as a front to shield the shy person underneath, so like Jinx, it surprises people who know me to find that I'm really kinda shy and awkward. Truth is, I've just learned to hide that part. And Like Cormac and Wolfden, I have my moments when I need to retreat to the sidelines and blend in for a while. And that's ok. So welcome to the club  . They're right, it gets easier. Hell, we're all a little dorky or we wouldn't be there!

What weekend do you plan to go? If it's on a Saturday, I hope you'll come by Cast in Bronze-I'm usually there for several performances helping behind the sales table. Post a pic of your spiffy new garb too, it sounds really cool. See ya at faire!

[Synikul]

I appreciate all of your kind comments and advice! Many thanks!

It irks me that my shyness gets in the way of what I want to do. Heh, I'm sure after a little while of walking around, I'll feel more at ease.
I'm not the type to go up to others and talk however, but hopefully I'll conjure up the guts to do so (or least have a decent conversation!).
I planned on going only weekend this season, but perhaps I can go twice to get the hang of things and feel more comfy.

Once again, thank you all!

Heck, look at the way I dressed this year at ORF. You'll attract attention as a faun, then you'll have to deal with people. There's no better cure for shyness than alcohol, which is in abundance at any fair.

[Crystal]

Haha, I'm (disappointingly) "under age", so there will be no drinking for me!
Hello Tipsy Gypsy! I'll be attending Saturday, Nov. 8th.

[fluffy tail]

I to am very shy and don't really drink at the faire, I understand how you feel.  I have a little squirrel puppet which is a great ice breaker. The kids and drunks love it.

Just go have fun and enjoy your garb.

[Amras Elfwine]

...I have a little squirrel puppet...

HAH! I knew there was something I really liked about you!!!

Crystal, I too am the classic introvert on the outside of the fest walls, but going through the gates, it always feels like coming home to me!
As the others have said, don't worry about the folks around you, just have a good time, and you'll soon be in the middle of everything!

And, you might be surprised at how many of we shy-types are  in there with you.
Cheers!
Amras "That Squirrel Over There Gets More Action Than Most of the People Do at Faire!" Elfwine

[Dayna]

Yup, I'm the most extroverted introvert I know, not shy, just Incredibly Uncomfortable being anywhere that I don't know people.  I'm older, stouter, and creakier than a lot of the women, but when I'm at faire I can flirt with the best of them, because I Know that everyone knows I don't mean it.  In the outside world, a 48 year old 180 pound woman coming on to a young stud would be laughable, but at fair it's enjoyable and taken as a compliment.  Vice versus, where else am I going to have young studlys telling me how beautiful I am?

I put on the bodice, and I become another person, because what happens at faire stays at faire, and everyone else there feels the same way I do.  The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play!  Plus, as many of my fellow wenches know, Ren clothing does wonders for the figure, it's easy to feel sexy in a bodice and skirt.

Dayna