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Oh so Vain!

Started by Vain, May 12, 2009, 05:55:10 PM

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Ok so I have been doing fair for 5 years now!  This year they lost my mother F'in story! Almost 5 years of work!  So my friend and I shiner bock out one the other night while I was drinking.  It was funny!  What do you think?

"I be Lord Bane Vainglorious. Thou art lucky to be reading my words, for I speak very little to those who art less than I, for I have not time for thee or thy trivial pursuits. Howe'er, this day I shall grace thee with my words. I be younger brother to Lady Vanity Vainglorious-Torvain, and cousin to the Lady Baroness Salacia Steele. Though I do not love my Baroness so much as I suppose that I should, I remain in the Green Glades for my closest friend, Mistress Charisma Blatherskyte, who doth adore the Baron and cannot keep herself out of trouble when near him. I do keep her from the Baroness's wrath, for she doth keep my secrets and no others.

I be one of the richest among these lands. As well, I be the last Vainglorious male, and do carry the title with pride. Though I seek to keep the Vainglorious blood rich and alive, I seek not to tarnish it with filth, and so I pursue women worthy of me. As you may have guessed, there be not any worthy of such an honor here in Hillshire. My name be the only purpose I need serve here in the Green Glades. With it, I do with those who surround me as I will. With the exception, of course, of my Lady Baroness Steele, and the Lord Baron Victor Steele. Being the incredible specimen that I am, I understand that thou mayest wish to stand nearby, and bask in my glory. I would warn thee, howe'er, to not not speak unless spoken to first, for e'en though thou art small of brain, thou art mayhap intelligent enough to stay out of the dungeon keep's hands.

My intelligence doth overshadow any thou mayest have met previous to thy first glorious encounter with my magnificence. As such, I allow young patrons to learn from my vast knowledge of beauty, in the hopes that thy youth shall attain some sort of reasonable thought on such matters. If thou dost see me in the Green Glades, remember that thou mayest look, but watch thyself, for I will not tolerate hideousness around me for long.  Keep thy eye out, for if I doth approach thee with my little Lady Abheilien Steele, thou shalt pay more respect then thou mayest think possible, or I shall have thy head. "
I be Lord Bane Vainglorious. Thou art lucky to be reading my words for I speak very little to those who art less than I.