Hamster Profiles

[Mistress Charlotte]

My name is Giselle, I'm a cream and speckled Hamster.  I love long walks on the beach and martinis with sugar on the rim... but what I really want is...

I wanna "Rockstar"

I'm through with standing in line
To clubs I'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be

I want a brand new cage
On an episode of cribs
And a tube so long to play baseball in
And a king size wheel big enough
For ten plus me

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a seed dispencer in it
Wanna join the rolling ball club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

I wanna ride your tour bus and play guitars
Want my own star on the Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me

I wanna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

'Cause all I want is a big rockstar
And live in hilltop houses rolling fifteen balls
The seeds come easy and the veggies come cheap
And I'll  stay skinny 'cause I just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good old hamster's
Gonna wind up there
I'll be your Playboy hammey
and I'll bleach my hair

Hey hey I wanna a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna a rockstar

Call - 555-762-5787
Email - RockStarWannabe@hammey.com

[Capt Gabriela Fullpepper]

Lady Nibbles of Hamstershire



Prim and Proper NOBLE English female hamster seeks Knight/Lord/Prince in shining armour but likes a little rogue in her noble
Golden colored fur with a body hardened by excursive
Loves Organic seeds, farm fresh produce and other tasteful cuisine
Enjoys Shakespearean plays, history, music and art OH and long walks in the forests
Squeaks 7 languages
Dislikes CATS, uncleanliness, clowns/jesters, smokers, owls (they scare me)
Would like to learn falconry (if the falcon won't eat me first)
I have a good since of humor and my best friend is a bear (It would never work as he sleeps to much). I'm still a virgin but debating having a large family (Children are nice but not for me). I also have a nice Habi-Castle in the mountains.

So if you are a clean and noble hamster, and have the bloodlines to prove it, then give me a call. OH and I am the 6th daughter 23rd child to the Earl of Hamsteshire

555-678-0404
nobleladyhamster@hamspershire.co.uk

[Capt Gabriela Fullpepper]

Agustus Wilhelm Van Tassel the V, IX Duke of Hamsterdamm

I Agustus Wilhelm Van Tassel the V, IX Duke of Hamsterdamm am zeeking zee nice and beautiful Hamster to sharez viz me. Az zee can zee, I squak zome of zee anglish but zee ist most fluest in Dutch, Duetch, French, Latin.
I am zeeking a fine hamster lady who hass noble breeding,enjoyz zee finer thingz in zee life ja, Yet knowz her place
Zee imphazees on prodcink zee heirz a muzt.
I am zee Hamzterdamm champion of zee fencing and zee jouzt.
I fear zee fire, as vonce I vaz nearly put to flamez and catapulted over zee city valls by mizhape.

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