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glmf news

Started by mumsies, August 12, 2009, 09:14:00 AM

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mumsies

Thought I would post this here for anyone following what is going on at GLMF.

http://www.starbeacon.com/local/local_story_224012553.html

Terry Griffith

A very sad example of nincompoops in positions of authority.  What it boils down to is one person with a vendetta against the faire owner.  It's just the latest in a long history of harassment by one Trumbull Trustee that has cost the Township a great deal of money in legal fees to fight and they have lost every time.  This time he may succeed in shutting it down permanently which will take millions of dollars out of the area.  The only thing that might save the beloved faire is a showing of support from all those who derive the pleasure as well as the profit.  The meeting of the Township Trustees mentioned in the article will happen on Thursday evening at 8:00.  There is limited parking in the area so everyone is meeting in the parking area of the faire site at 7:00 so we can carpool to the meeting.  It's not often we get the opportunity to stand up for something we love.  If at all possible, please come the the faire site at 7:00 and join us in showing the number of people that object to this outrage.
Wear your finest mundane clothing and maintain a decorum that will impress the trustees.  They must be shown how many people will suffer because of one man's short-sightedness.
See you there.
"There's a unicorn that's hangin' in what's known as father's room......"

Capt. Morgan

This was taken from Trev's Site as well...a very interesting read:

The following was taken from the owners words and summarized. It has been edited and checked by Larry. This is his story.

Fun Facts about the Legal Issues of
The Trustees of Trumbull Township vs. Lawrence Rickard

Sixteen years ago, Larry Rickard brought the Great Lakes Medieval Faire to its new home in Trumbull Township. The property he began to build on was originally donated to the Girl Scouts, by private citizens who cared about their cause. Some members of the Township were upset when this donated land was sold, as they felt it should belong to the community. In an effort to give something back to the community, Larry offered to aid the Trumbull Township Fire and Ambulance Department. Larry had lived through a traumatic disaster that was much like Hurricane Katrina. The Fire Departments and the Red Cross were the primary organizations that helped him through his grief, and so he cared very much about their cause. Larry offered the Trumbull Township Fire and Ambulance Department the rights to the beer program at the Great Lakes Medieval Faire. The partnership between the Faire and the Fire Department helped supply the Township with an exemplary Fire and Ambulance Department.
However, certain people saw this partnership not as a way of giving back to the community, but as a source of "money"coming in and decided that they wanted a share. Larry graciously offered them options to come work with the Faire. Tambarino turned him down and, instead, expected the Faire to just give him the money with nothing in return for the community or the Faire. This is extortion. When The Faire refused to be apart of this corruption several frivolous lawsuits were brought against the Faire.

The first round of lawsuits were concerned with zoning. The lawsuits questioned whether or not the Faire was allowed to operate on its own property. The property on which the Great Lakes Medieval Faire lies, was originally zoned as a "park". The Township, not understanding how to define a park, re-zoned the property as a "single-family residence." This was all done behind closed doors. The Trustees broke the Sunshine laws which state that all regulatory authorities' meetings, decisions and records are to be made available to the public. GLMF was up and running for five years, before the Trustees decided to demand a zoning permit for operation. A permit was promptly filed.
Now zoned as a "single-family residence" the operating procedures of the Faire were put into question. Some of the ridiculous suits put up against the Faire are as follows:
The Jousting Horses vibrate the ground so much that they cause windows to break miles away.
The Tilt-a-Whirl lights shine in peoples windows. (The Faire does not have a Tilt-a-Whirl or any other electronic rides, and closes before dark)
The sound systems are a noise violation.
Dust from the Faire's road gets cars dirty
An archery arrow attempted to kill a neighbors horse
Traffic issues, such as too many fumes

The Township went so far as to force the Faire to remove safety features (i.e. street lamps and traffic control signage) which the Faire put in place to regulate the flow of traffic, and to protect individuals traveling on State Route 534, both those coming to the Faire, and those just passing by. A result of this removal has made the Township liable for accidents.

All of these suits went to court, and, in the end, a 100% victory on all accounts was in favor of the Faire. After our Trial Court victories, and with several trips to Appeals Court, they again ruled in favor of the Faire. Theses cases were then sent to the Supreme Court, but were turned down. These suits sat in Trial Court for over ten years. The Faire had to spend ten years waiting on a ruling, and lost out on over ten years of income and convenience. The Faire was forced to not hold the annual Halloween show, they were not permitted to allow on-site camping, and not permitted to house their own employees, many of who travel some distance.
Twenty-one days after winning the rights to resume Halloween Knights,and to gain back many other rights that were suspended by this long going battle, the Faire was back in court, and again, won in appeals. The Trustees took their case to the Supreme Court, and a ruling is still forthcoming.
Tamborino then turned his attention on destroying the Fire Department that the Faire helped to build. It has been made abundantly clear that certain members of the Township are against the Faire. Despite this aggression, the Faire continued to supplement the Township with the best Fire and Ambulance Department in Ashtabula County with no tax increase. It was the enormous egos, built up by Ron Tamborino's personal vendetta, that caused the Fire Department to go bankrupt. Now, Trumbull Township has a significantly smaller Fire Department and no Ambulance service. People in this Township have died as a result.
When Tamborino forced the Fire and Ambulance Department to go bankrupt as a result of frivolous lawsuits, the Township agreed to absorb all of their assets, and all of their debts. The debts are still outstanding. The Trustees feel that because the Faire allowed the Fire Department to operate out of their pubs, that these pubs belong to the township. Ron Tamborino wants the rights to the beer money, the Pub buildings, and everything else involved with beer at GLMF. Instead of asking the Faire to help rebuild the Fire Department, Ron Tamborino and the Trustees sued the Faire for the right to operate the beer program at an establishment they think should not exist.
The Trustees have spent a full year learning if they even have a case. The Trustees have spent over a $100, 000 to interrogate innocent people in order to gather information on a case they don't even have yet. They are using deposition as a tool to attempt to bankrupt the Faire. The Trustees have spent over a $100,000 in Township funds to obtain beer privileges that they never even asked for, at a Faire that they feel should be shut down. Furthermore, township accounting is public record. By law, Township accounting records must be released to whomever asks for them. Kris and Russ as well as others have requested to see this accounting information and have yet to receive said information.
Ron Tamborino publicly swears to shut down the Faire at all costs. He even went so far as to contact the State of Ohio, and through pulling strings convinced the State to investigate the Faire's charitable contributions. An effort is being made to turn the Faire's charities against it. It is not working.

Below is a list of just a few of the Charities that GLMF supports:
APL
Camp Cammo
Conneut Fish and Game
Lewie and Alissa Wortman – Junior Drag Races
Peaceful Pastures
The Human Society
Red Cross
Joe Kaluza Motorcycle Run – Sponsored with KFC
Rainbow Babies and Children Hospital
RESCU
Food Pantries


Tamborino's current tactic is to harass all of the vendors who make a living selling their wares at the Faire. Over 50 vendors were cited this past weekend for not obtaining a transient vendor license. Such a license clearly is not required by The Ohio Revised Code, which states:

505.94 Registration and regulation of transient vendors.

(A) A board of township trustees may, by resolution, require the registration of all transient vendors within the unincorporated territory of the township and may regulate the time, place, and manner in which these vendors may sell, offer for sale, or solicit orders for future delivery of goods, or the board may, by resolution, prohibit these activities within that territory. If the board requires the registration of all transient vendors, it may establish a reasonable registration fee, not to exceed one hundred fifty dollars for a registration period, and this registration shall be valid for a period of at least ninety days after the date of registration. Any board of township trustees that provides for the registration and regulation, or prohibition, of transient vendors under this section shall notify the prosecuting attorney of the county in which the township is located of its registration and regulatory requirements or prohibition. No transient vendor shall fail to register or to comply with regulations or prohibitions established by a board of township trustees under this division.

This division does not authorize a board of township trustees to apply a resolution it adopts under this division to any person invited by an owner or tenant to visit the owner's or tenant's premises to sell, offer for sale, or solicit orders for future delivery of goods

Ron Tamborino has had a personal vendetta to close down the Faire, and anything else the Faire does to create income. Thirteen years later he is still failing. Now, he is trying to infiltrate the Faire take their livelihood, and the livelihood of its employees in other ways: frivolous lawsuits, demanding beer sales, harassing vendors and charities. What will Ron Tamborino and the Trumbull Township Trustees do next? They have already destroyed our Fire Department and Ambulance service, neglected our roads, run local businesses out of town, and spent our Township's funds foolishly to fight Ron Tamborino's personal war. Can we really trust them? Let's remove Ron Tamborino, and restore our Township's safety, dignity, and trust in those elected to lead us! Just Ask him to leave our Township so we can again, live in Peace!
I can be one of those "bad things" that happen to bad people.

Terry Griffith

Thanks Cpt. Morgan, Trevor and Larry.  We support you and the faire.
"There's a unicorn that's hangin' in what's known as father's room......"

anne of oaktower

How I wish I could attend that meeting tomorrow night!  And, oh, do I wish I could vote in that county!!!

Too disgusted/angry by all of this for words right now, so I will simply say...


LONG LIVE AVALOCH!!!
aka: Oak-hearted Annie / Anne of Oak Barrel / Barefoot Annie

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."

Capt. Morgan

The Jousting Horses vibrate the ground so much that they cause windows to break miles away.


:D

That one still cracks me up....
I can be one of those "bad things" that happen to bad people.

Master James

I have to believe that there is some way to take this to the state and prove town missmanagement or something.  Do the residents of this township keep putting these idiots back in power by voting for them?  If what is said about destroying the fire and ambulance service correct I have one simple question.  WHY????  I think its time the faire goes on the offensive and sues the trustees personally, especially the lead moron, to recover all the money that they've had to spend to defend themselves and lost income due to these frivolous lawsuits.  Maybe when the faire wins that one the morons will shut up and go away.
Why can't reality be more like faire?
Clan M'Crack
RenVet
Royal Order of Landsharks #59
FoMDRF
RFC #51

Capt. Morgan

#7
We made the papers!!!!

http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2009/08/_john_kuntz_the_plain.html

"Tamburrino said the trustees' only goal is to protect the health, safety and welfare of township residents, saying "I can't think of any financial benefit the township derives directly from the Great Lakes Medieval Faire."

I bet this guy still thinks the world is flat too....Sheesh!
I can be one of those "bad things" that happen to bad people.

mumsies

Reply I received to an email I sent to Geneva Tourism Bureau:


On behalf of the Geneva-on-the-Lake Visitors Bureau and the business community in Geneva-on-the-Lake, I can assure you that yes, we are concerned about the potential loss of the Medieval Faire and are very aware of the movement by a minority in Trumbull Township, where the Faire is located.

Unfortunatly, our concerns or voice seems to carry no weight with the Trumbull Township trustees.

What I personally believe, however, that no matter what happens in Trumbull Township, there WILL be a Medieval Faire.   Two different landowner along the Route 531 corridor have pledged their assistance to host the Faire in future years, should it come to that.  At least that is what I have been told.

Thanks for your concern, and again, I can assure that  the Geneva-on-the-Lake business community is 100% behind the Medieval Faire.

Sincerely,

Don Woodward, Special Projects Director


Capt. Morgan

This just keeps getting better and better:

Seems the problems with Township government are also being discussed on another local forum

http://www.happyhackerbbs.com/index.php?topic=3520.0
I can be one of those "bad things" that happen to bad people.

Countess Westmorland

Quote from: mumsies on August 13, 2009, 08:58:39 AM
Reply I received to an email I sent to Geneva Tourism Bureau:


On behalf of the Geneva-on-the-Lake Visitors Bureau and the business community in Geneva-on-the-Lake, I can assure you that yes, we are concerned about the potential loss of the Medieval Faire and are very aware of the movement by a minority in Trumbull Township, where the Faire is located.

Unfortunatly, our concerns or voice seems to carry no weight with the Trumbull Township trustees.

What I personally believe, however, that no matter what happens in Trumbull Township, there WILL be a Medieval Faire.   Two different landowner along the Route 531 corridor have pledged their assistance to host the Faire in future years, should it come to that.  At least that is what I have been told.

Thanks for your concern, and again, I can assure that  the Geneva-on-the-Lake business community is 100% behind the Medieval Faire.

Sincerely,

Don Woodward, Special Projects Director


Well, if it comes to that, and I hope it doesn't, and the Faire moves to Geneva or thereabouts, I hope that no one going to the Faire spends one red cent in Trumbull.  Not for gas, food, lodging or even bug spray.  Sure, that would hurt the business owners in that area.  However, they are the ones with the power of the vote and keep voting those greedy, uncaring fools into power.
Jan
A little song, a little dance, a little rum down your pants!

mumsies

The latest news on the towship meeting tonite...borrowed from Trevor's board. keep the positive thoughts going!

Thought I'd share this, newest article in Plain Dealer about the meeting with the trustees tonight~
Keep smiling :)

Hundreds of Medieval Faire backers confront Trumbull Township trustees at meeting
Posted by John Campanelli/Plain Dealer Reporter August 13, 2009 22:01PM

TRUMBULL TOWNSHIP -- About 200 supporters of the Great Lakes Medieval Faire converged on the town's fire department building Thursday night, trying to stop what they believe is a vendetta by the township trustees to kill their beloved event.

The Middle Ages-themed Faire, held on about 180 acres of private property in this rural Ashtabula County community of 1,400, has been fighting litigation from the township for more than 10 years.

This summer, the feud boiled over, with dozens of Faire vendors receiving citations for not registering with the township as "transient vendors" and paying a $150 fee. This, despite Ohio law that exempts vendors invited onto private property from registering with townships.

The trustees, led by chairman Ron Tamburrino, say the transient-vendor law only protects the residents of the township.


Despite legal victories, Faire owner Larry Rickard says the litigation costs have put him near bankruptcy and are jeopardizing the future of an event that draws tens of thousands of visitors during its six-weekend run each year.

A sheriff's deputy allowed only 100 people into the building, which has no air conditioning or microphones. About 100 others waited outside trying to listen to the passionate, often contentious meeting.

A resident asked the trustees how much the township had spent on litigation against the Faire.

"Between July 2008 and today," said Tamborino, "I would say about $60,000."

Amid some hoots and whistles, resident Bob Kovach, then stood up.

"How much are we going to spend," he asked. "I'd like to see some potholes filled."

Resident Chuck Loya, who lives just south of the Faire property, complained that five arrows had landed on his property over the past few weeks.

"I'm afraid to go outside," he said. "I'm watching from my window."

Earlier on Thursday, the vendors who received citations were scheduled to appear in Judge William L. Stevens' courtroom in Geneva. That didn't happen because the citations were never filed with the court, said lawyer Michele Stuck, who is representing many of the vendors.

It turns out the citations contained a typographical error, stating the vendors were violating section "5055.94" of the Ohio Revised Code; the section in question is actually 505.94.

Stuck says she does not know whether the citations will end up being filed at a later date or if the matter will be dropped by the prosecutor's office. County Prosecutor Thomas Sartini was out of his office Thursday.

The saga is beginning to take a toll on the Faire's vendors.

"What this has successfully done is put a very foul taste in every professional crafter's mouth," said illustrator Ed Beard Jr., one of the vendors cited by sheriff's deputies earlier this month. "Is it really worth it? What's the next thing they're going to do? What other new ordinance are they going to have?"

He said some vendors have said they are considering not returning to the Faire if it's held next year.

"It's no sweat to the crafters," he added. "They'll just walk away, which, of course, is exactly what the trustees are hoping for."

   

Professor M

Here's the direct link to the article.

http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2009/08/hundreds_of_medieval_faire_bac.html#post

I wrote to the author, suggesting he look into Trumbull Township's handling of the fire department and ambulance.  Also, I pointed out that Mr. Tamborino said they spent $60,000 since July '08, but didn't say how much they've spent over the years.  That would be a number the local taxpayers would like to hear.
"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me."
~ C.S. Lewis

mumsies

Good idea-they need to keep at this issue!

Terry Griffith

We drove 5 hours round trip and stood for nearly 3 hours in a crowded 90 degree plus room just to see a bit of rural democracy at work.  I think we all knew the Trustees weren't going to whimper and fold on the issue but the presence of 200 people who made the sacrifice to show up made an impression on them and the media.  I also recorded the proceedings on a cassette recorder which will come in handy in proving allegations by Tamberrino that may libelous.

The effort was worth the trouble but I wish there could have been more support from Pittsburgh people.  I know many people wished they could have been there but they were there in spirit.  Since the Trustees kept saying they only wanted to hear from Trubull Township residents, many of us couldn't relate our feelings.  Some did so eloquently.  I was very proud of the demeanor of the rennies.  They showed that they weren't the "misfits" and "weirdos" that the Trustees wanted to see.

Ron Tamberrino kept saying that the resolutions weren't intended to shut down the faire and that no one could prove that they were.  We all knew that it couldn't be proved so he is the only one that kept bringing it up.  "Me thinks he doth protest too much"?

I'm getting that old "I feel a song coming on" feeling.  Evidently, the voting population of Trumbull Township have not exorcised they're privileges and the same "Boss Hog" types stay in office.  Maybe it's time they were reminded that there is something they can do about the situation in November.
"There's a unicorn that's hangin' in what's known as father's room......"

Capt. Morgan

Wow...this is just like "Footloose" only with better music and garb!  ;)
I can be one of those "bad things" that happen to bad people.

Countess Westmorland

I really think that the Trustees were not expecting a room full of educated, well spoken people.  There were times I really wanted to laugh when they were asked about the wording of the ordinance and Tamburino kept saying that we would have to ask the Prosecutor.  I didn't know the Prosecutor wrote it!  They were on the defensive, really talked in the typical politico circles and, at times, contradicted themselves.  
I hope, in November, that they are held responsible for any loss of income to the Township and the past loss of revenue due to those frivilous lawsuits that the courts
kept throwing out.  Two of them are up for reelection in November, including Mr. Tamburino.

But I am truly upset that I missed riding the Tilt a Whirl but it is my understanding it is only for the invisible platypus.  Ask Chris at St. Sadie's Soap when you are there this weekend!

Jan
A little song, a little dance, a little rum down your pants!

Capt. Morgan

Well...if the vibration from the horse hooves during the joust shatter windows, I'm surprised that the parking lot isn't littered with glass from all the cars.... :D
I can be one of those "bad things" that happen to bad people.

Terry Griffith

The song "Long Live Avaloch" is now up on YouTube, http://www.youtube.com/user/TerryGriffith1

Here's the lyrics:

Long Live Avaloch
By Terry Griffith

While traveling through Ohio one morning last July
I was looking for diversion to help the time pass by.
Along the road I saw a sign for the Medieval Faire.
It sounded so appealing that I took the family there.

There was jousting and music and smiles on every face.
Games for all the kiddies and merriment filled the place.
The food, the beer, the revelry made us all feel fine.
I felt like we had traveled back to another place in time.

Long live Avaloch and the family I found there.
Long live the Great Lakes Medieval Faire.

When the day was over it was time to go away.
We had to spend the night there to come back another day.
The money spent was worth the cost and any one could see
The faire was just a benefit to the whole community.

Long live Avaloch and the family I found there.
Long live the Great Lakes Medieval Faire.

Now nearby Trumbull Township was ruled by politics.
The greedy and the jealous were starting to have fits.
They couldn't get their hands on the money being made
So they passed a legislation that would cause the faire to fade.

Long live Avaloch and the family I found there.
Long live the Great Lakes Medieval Faire.

"We don't know who these folks are" they cried with feigned concern.
"We must protect our citizens in case they might get burned.
The price of all the lawsuits is worth the cost to bear
There's money to made here and we must have our share".

Long live Avaloch and the family I found there.
Long live the Great Lakes Medieval Faire.

The years of frivolous lawsuits have cost the Township much.
The mounting bills for lawyers and court costs and such.
It's time for all the people who put these men in charge
To see their taxes wasted on egos that are large.

Long live Avaloch and the family I found there.
Long live the Great Lakes Medieval Faire.

Behind closed doors they gathered to plan their evil plot.
They thought no one would notice but there's one thing they forgot.
When citizens have had enough of bullying by the trolls
They only have to stand up by voting at the polls.

Long live Avaloch and the family I found there.
Long live the Great Lakes Medieval Faire.

So they had a meeting to discuss the future of the faire
People came from miles around and the media was there.
They watched as Tamberrino hid behind his wool.
Now we know in Trumbull wherein resides the bull.

Long live Avaloch and the family I found there.
Long live the Great Lakes Medieval Faire.
"There's a unicorn that's hangin' in what's known as father's room......"

mumsies

A new one to add to our favorite "Terry" songs! Hope to hear it in person soon!

chriscat53

I can't imagine moving the Faire. It's so beautiful and what about all the gardens? How would they start over with those?  I'm embarrassed that this guy's Italian. Being an old 60's person, last resort, a fully garbed sit in and call CNN. Led by the pirates and the knights of course and any ogres that might want to sign on.


No seriously, affordable family entertainment that also has a bit of history. Have they no clue at all?

trevor ylisaari

Quote from: chriscat53 on August 16, 2009, 03:31:15 PM
I can't imagine moving the Faire. It's so beautiful and what about all the gardens? How would they start over with those? 

Yeah, it sounds good in theory to just move it somewhere that wants it.
But realistically there has been a ton of blood, sweat, tears, and money sunk into the current grounds.
And what would happen to all the vendors buildings?

And here is a link to the current Cleveland News video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TxXBTvos94

and for those who may have missed it, here is the one from the night of the meeting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Gopmbd1Sbc

Terry Griffith

#22
A better version of the song "Long Live Avaloch" has been published to YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YSfPamQn8o

If you have viewed the first one, please visit this one so we won't lose the hits.  If you left a comment on the old one, please put it on the new version.  If you haven't viewed it yet, please check it out.  The more hits it receives, the greater the impact when the Trustees see it is being spread around.  Please feel free to leave a comment.
"There's a unicorn that's hangin' in what's known as father's room......"

Capt. Morgan

In today's Plain Dealer:

In today's Plain Dealer::

Fie on the foes of the Great Lakes Medieval Faire -- an editorial
by The editors
Thursday August 20, 2009, 4:19 AM

A pox on politicians who make sport of the Great Lakes Medieval Faire.

Wherefore art they so knuckle-headed?

The Trumbull Township trustees have spent 13 years wasting taxpayer money and losing court cases in an effort to bludgeon the Medieval Faire into oblivion.

The six-weekend-long event -- which just concluded its 17th year of jousters, jesters and jugglers -- is a moneymaker. The director of the Ashtabula County Convention and Visitors Bureau describes it as a key portion of the county's $346 million annual tourism take.

Trustees Chairman Ron Tamburrino cites health and safety concerns, but Lt. Greg Leonhard says the Sheriff's Department gets more complaints about the county fair.

Embattled owner Larry Rickard hosts the Medieval Faire on his property -- nearly 180 acres transformed into the 13th-century Village of Avaloch. But the cost of fighting frivolous court actions has topped $1 million and is taking a toll on the faire's future.

It is the largest employer in the township and one of the largest in the county, hiring more than 500 people.

Hundreds of supporters showed up at a recent meeting to protest the three township trustees' logic-defying -- and costly -- feud with the faire. Just in the past year, Tamburrino told residents the township had spent about $60,000 on litigation.

The trustees would better serve their constituents by filling potholes rather than enriching lawyers -- especially now that Rickard has run afoul of a higher power: The state attorney general has accused him of misappropriating funds meant for charities. If something's rotten in Avaloch, the faire will be on shaky ground.
I can be one of those "bad things" that happen to bad people.

Professor M

#24
Quote from: Capt. Morgan on August 20, 2009, 09:35:51 AM

In today's Plain Dealer::

-- especially now that Rickard has run afoul of a higher power: The state attorney general has accused him of misappropriating funds meant for charities.

You know, I misread this to say that Tamburino is being investigated, not Larry.  I apologize for misunderstanding so much.  From what I understood, it is Tamburino who did a money grab on the fire department money that Larry donated.  I wonder if the state attorney general is looking into that as well.  I have no doubt Larry will be absolved of all charges.

For that matter, if all of the charities are satisfied that they've received their money, then who started the investigation?  My guess: Tamburino.  I hope it comes back to bite him.
"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me."
~ C.S. Lewis

Capt. Morgan

All the charities contacted said they received the monies. Another trustee misdirect to take the shining light off of their questionable doings and legal harassment. Honestly, if they admitted to spending 60 thousand dollar just THIS year alone against Larry...multiply that by how long this feud has been running...over 13 years. They are the ones that have to supply the answers now, certainly NOT Larry.
I can be one of those "bad things" that happen to bad people.

Professor M

Morgan, you are quite right.  I misread and misinterpreted the last statement.  I've gone back and re-edited it to read more appropriately.
"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me."
~ C.S. Lewis