Child behavior help

[Celtic_Fae]

We would love some sort of extra curricular activity but right now time and especially money doesn't allow for it.  The top contenders are martial arts and soccer.  Perhaps once I find a permanent job we'll be able to do something...

I don't know how tight your financial *and* time budget is, but you can start soccer now just by picking up a cheap ball, making your own "net", and having the family/some of his friends over for practices. Research some practice drills on the internet, have a practice/warmup session, and then...an actual game! It might help short term until you can get him into a formal soccer program.

[Lord Moravec]

As an ADD child I was on Ritalin this is speed (end of discussion I found out from the doctors). I also went through counseling (didn't help either) one thing I learned was meditation techniques (worked wonders to this day). The soccer or martial arts is a grand idea if money is possible,yes you can do this at home. If meds are necessary there are other better alternatives both of my girls have been on them and they were on them a short while as the doctor monitored their progress. As a wiccan I don't like a lot of meds or to see the doctor I'm also 41 years old and still feeling the negative effects of 10 years of ritalin at 5mg doses. Best of luck and my prayers and sympathy are with you. I may soon be going through the same problem with my son who is now 4 years old. Hang in there life does get better.

[Elkyn]

WARNING: Long post  

Hey Trillium,

I haven't posted here at R/F in some time and came across this thread as I was looking around.  I felt compelled to reply.

Your situation sounds EXACTLY like ours (even our sons are approximately the same age).  Any updates you care to share?

We finally went to see our pediatrician because our son's in-school antics were starting to have a detrimental effect on his academics, he was becoming more socially isolated from his peers and we began to feel that a meeting with the Principal was becoming more of a reality every day (He turned 6 in December and is in Kindergarten).  Like you were were trying everything in our arsenal we knew to do, and he came home nearly everyday with Reds and Blues (not good colors in this case).  We were actually happy when he had a Yellow (Orange and Green are the better colors).
My wife was (and in principal, still is) opposed to medicating.  I was on the fence with regard to medicating because I, myself, was diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid (back then they called it Minimal Brain Dysfunction with Hyperactivity).  For the sake of reference, I'm 45. I was put on Ritalin and had side effects galore (nervous tics, loss of appetite, slowed growth, zoning out to the point of being 'zombie-like').  I am going somewhere with this

We discussed it with our Doctor and after expressing our concerns (especially mine), cautiously agreed to put our son on Vyvanse (we were told that Ritalin is rarely prescribed anymore).  Vyvanse is a ritalin-like stimulant but is time released for better effect.

As much as we didn't want to do it, I have to say- unless something changes- we're glad we went that route.  His behavior in school is much improved, his academics have gone through the roof (he was even recommended for evaluation for the schools Gifted and Talented program, alas we learned today he did not make it into the program but I think that's just a maturity issue, I mean hey he's only in Kindergarten.  Pardon the digression).  The beauty of it is (and I was relieved to see this) NO side effects (more on that in a second, though).

Ultimately, our goal is is to have him off the medication and flying on his own.  That's where the Behavior Modification work comes in (my wife was a Music Therapist for about 17 years and her minor was psychology, so I think she's well qualified to lay out that program).  We are also about to have him professionally evaluated to determine and pinpoint his learning style as well as make sure there are no other LD's (Dyslexia, vision, Auditory Processing, etc.) lurking behind the ADHD making his life even more difficult.  We're pretty sure there's no dyslexia going on because he's learning to read WAY faster than his older sister did.

However, I will warn you, if you do go the medication route- that stuff is BLOODY EXPENSIVE! And that's AFTER the insurance co-pay (I'm talking $100+ for a supply of 30 which, because we don't give it to him on weekends, comes out to be roughly a 6 week supply.  Even more if you luck out and get a few holidays in). Not easy right now because my wife is in college as I write this and we are living on one income (I'll just say we're not rich or otherwise "rolling in dough").

Back to the meds.  Our older child (our daughter) also seems to be showing signs of ADD (not so much the hyperactivity which, as I understand it, is a typical manifestation in girls).  We also put her on the Vyvanse.  We took her off of it after 4 days because I began to see the signs of the side effects in her after the first day.  Obviously, she's inherited from me something in her physiology that will not allow the meds to work in her.  She will also be going through the same evaluations that her brother will go through.  Funny thing is, after we took her off the meds- we never told her teacher.  Since then, (and my sincerest apologies to all of the teachers who read and post here) her teacher has been sending home glowing reports of how well our daughter is now doing in class. LOL!!!  However, with her we've been taking a dietary and supplementary (vitamins and minerals) approach, and that does seem to be helping.  Also, we did learn that she has eyesight issues and have corrected that.

I could go on longer.  I would be interested in hearing how things are going for you and if you have any questions of me feel free to ask.

Best of luck to you and I hope everything is working out for you!

[Trillium]

We decided to put him on meds in January.  The dr recommended Vyvanse to start with and it is working wonderfully! Since starting it, he has had one yellow a week, the rest are greens.  Even daycare has commented about how well behaved and focused he is.  Thankfully for us, the meds are midtier and only cost $30, and our doctor gave a us a card from the pharm co. that gives us half off thru June.  (Which is more than I can say for his asthma meds that will cost 60 once we can afford to pick them up.)  Our pediatrician has 2 kids with ADD and every description he gave left me nodding.  He won't prescribe ritalin unless absolutely necessary.  As much as we dreaded putting him on meds, its been a wonderful decision.  Our son is so proud of himself coming home with greens all the time!

[Elkyn]

Well that's great.   I'm glad to hear it's working out for you.  As for the cost of the meds- I want YOUR insurance. Geeze! We're paying through the nose for the Vyvanse.  I mean- for our son's sake- the cost is worth it but... man!  You definitely got a better deal going there.

Well good.  I'm glad to hear it's all working out.  Gotta go now! 


Later!

[Trillium]

Sadly, our deal will run out in the next few months unless I find a job with insurance!!

[Elkyn]

Yeouch!  Well good luck there as well.