Re: Vent! Seriously. Vent.

[FortuneRose]

Tyler is NOT your son, he is not your beloved Joshua you lost....  he is MY SON...  I understand you love him, really, I do...  but sometimes I don't think you know of the many lines you continue to cross.  I try to let it roll of my back, but at the same time its crushing me that you are overstepping everything I want for him and want to do *for* him.  And when I tell you "that had been something I wanted for him ever since I was in the early stages of my pregnancy" you responded with "ME TOO!"  Well.....  guess what...  I'm his mother, I carried him, I birthed him, I raise him, I am THROUGH with being nice to you!  You just don't get it!  You had your chance with your children... so back off.

[nliedel]

I know I did not get a baseline mammogram when I should have. I was having a baby and lactating. Now I've found a lump and am getting a mammogram today. I am freaking terrified. I have four special needs kids and MS and I don't need a lecture. I need a hug. So either keep your mouth shut, or help me. Berate me after the results and for Goddess sake, if it is cancer, just shut the heck up.  I am so going to go off if you lecture me just one more time.

[SleepyArcher]

I just found out this morning that as I am waiting at the bus stop with my son that a lady across the street uses her dad's address for her child so her child can get bused to school. she shows up at 830 am every morning to get her kid on the bus and then after the bus leaves she takes off. I so want to call the school on this. GRRRRRRR....she doesnt live there, I dont know where she lives but that is wrong in my book. She probably doesnt even pay for it either.

[Xanthenes The Unbalanced]

I am a member of several message boards/forums...

One thing that can bring down a thread, and indeed a whole forum, is politics...

This forum has remained, for the most part, free of political discussion. And, that is something I like about this site. I have seen too many sites brought down by political banter.

The thing about political talk is that it doesn't take much to set the powder keg off. There are always people, from both sides, that can keep things civil, but it only takes one person who can't, to light the fuse that will set the powder keg off. And, sooner or later, that keg will get lite. I have seen it happen over and over....

For some reason, most Americans are able to talk more openly and candidly about their favorite sports teams than about the folks we hire to run our nation.  We're also able to admit more faults in our sports teams than our chosen parties (I'm a Detroit Lions fan, so I'll admit there's a lot to critique).  Discussing politics is apparently the third rail of social conversation.  A complete lack of real discourse likely explains why our elections have come to resemble American Idol more than thoughtful selections of our country's leaders. 

Dogma and identity politics rule the day.  Viva le democracy.

As for the thread in question, I certainly don't agree with axing a very civil conversation between mature adults on the basis of "what could have been", but hey, it's not my board.

[nliedel]

Okay, so they found the lump I found and it was nothing, BUT they found a VERY suspicious lump in the other breast and I have to see an oncologist. It's important to see one soon, so when do they make the appointment? When? OCT-FREAKING-TOBER NINTH!!!! I'm supposed to just sit around and let my Tylenol with an ear grow till then? (that's what it looks like). I don't think so, Mr. I'm about to call oncology and toss a cow. I mean a whole cow. Horns and all. Dang waiting times. My breast doc wanted me to see them next week, at the latest. Grrrrrrrrr.

And again, people are lecturing me about waiting for my baseline. Shut up, just shut up and be quiet and say nothing. It's better than a, "Well, I hope this is a wake up call." No kidding. Go away.

Harrumph.

Poor receptionist at the oncology unit will be writing in here next about unreasonable women.

[Captain Jack Wolfe]

Nice try, Elmer, but it's STILL not all about you.  Never was, never will be. 

[Lady_Glorianna]

Okay, so they found the lump I found and it was nothing, BUT they found a VERY suspicious lump in the other breast and I have to see an oncologist. It's important to see one soon, so when do they make the appointment? When? OCT-FREAKING-TOBER NINTH!!!! I'm supposed to just sit around and let my Tylenol with an ear grow till then? (that's what it looks like). I don't think so, Mr. I'm about to call oncology and toss a cow. I mean a whole cow. Horns and all. Dang waiting times. My breast doc wanted me to see them next week, at the latest. Grrrrrrrrr.

And again, people are lecturing me about waiting for my baseline. Shut up, just shut up and be quiet and say nothing. It's better than a, "Well, I hope this is a wake up call." No kidding. Go away.

Harrumph.

Poor receptionist at the oncology unit will be writing in here next about unreasonable women.

For what it's worth, I don't think you are being unreasonable. Thus practice that has developed about giving people appointments well into the future when it is obvious that they need it now just sucks!

[maelstrom0370]

Okay, so they found the lump I found and it was nothing, BUT they found a VERY suspicious lump in the other breast and I have to see an oncologist. It's important to see one soon, so when do they make the appointment? When? OCT-FREAKING-TOBER NINTH!!!! I'm supposed to just sit around and let my Tylenol with an ear grow till then? (that's what it looks like). I don't think so, Mr. I'm about to call oncology and toss a cow. I mean a whole cow. Horns and all. Dang waiting times. My breast doc wanted me to see them next week, at the latest. Grrrrrrrrr.

And again, people are lecturing me about waiting for my baseline. Shut up, just shut up and be quiet and say nothing. It's better than a, "Well, I hope this is a wake up call." No kidding. Go away.

Harrumph.

Poor receptionist at the oncology unit will be writing in here next about unreasonable women.

For what it's worth, I don't think you are being unreasonable. Thus practice that has developed about giving people appointments well into the future when it is obvious that they need it now just sucks!

Gotta love Health Care!  They're probably banking on the problem just "going away" between now and then.
A friend of mine went through something similar with an MRI.  His Dr said he needed it, his Ins Company said "Yea...not so much"

[Storm]

I am a member of several message boards/forums...

One thing that can bring down a thread, and indeed a whole forum, is politics...

This forum has remained, for the most part, free of political discussion. And, that is something I like about this site. I have seen too many sites brought down by political banter.

The thing about political talk is that it doesn't take much to set the powder keg off. There are always people, from both sides, that can keep things civil, but it only takes one person who can't, to light the fuse that will set the powder keg off. And, sooner or later, that keg will get lite. I have seen it happen over and over....

For some reason, most Americans are able to talk more openly and candidly about their favorite sports teams than about the folks we hire to run our nation.  We're also able to admit more faults in our sports teams than our chosen parties (I'm a Detroit Lions fan, so I'll admit there's a lot to critique).  Discussing politics is apparently the third rail of social conversation.  A complete lack of real discourse likely explains why our elections have come to resemble American Idol more than thoughtful selections of our country's leaders. 

Dogma and identity politics rule the day.  Viva le democracy.

As for the thread in question, I certainly don't agree with axing a very civil conversation between mature adults on the basis of "what could have been", but hey, it's not my board.

Unfortunately, I follow politics more closely then most. I just don't talk about them is all. The thing I have learned about political threads on forums is that most people who do post to them already have their minds made up anyway. Nothing anyone else says is going change their minds either. Discussions get circular in nature. The same things get re-hashed time and time again. There are some people who can keep things civil. But, as I said earlier, in my experiences, things only stay civil for so long. Sooner or later some newbie, who takes themselves way to seriously, shows up guns a blazing looking to pick something with anyone who dares to disagree with them, or some pot stirrer shows up (who really doesn't care about the topic) who just wants to push some buttons and see what happens. Some one gets drunk and bored some night and tosses in a little bomb shell just to see what will happen and who will bite.

I agree with you. The thread in question did remain civil. Should it have been axed? I guess that's a matter of opinion. I never would have let it got started based on my past experiences in other forums. Been there, done that. I wouldn't give it a chance to start up again.

[jinx]

You...are completely insufferable.  Yes, I was irritated.  Hell, I was REALLY angry.  So, I tried to vent to you, because I thought you'd understand.  Oh, silly me!  I thought that since -you- vented about the same thing yesterday, I was allowed to be angry about it today.  At least I have a -right- to be angry about it.  Your hours got cut for ONE STINKIN' WEEK!  Mine?  Yeah.  I was down to 32 hours two weeks ago.  Last week, I got my full hours.  Now?  For the next three weeks, I'm down to 32 again, and you're sitting pretty with your full hours.  I -know- it's not your fault, and I was NOT angry with you.  Yes, I said "It looks like you're not going to have to worry about having your hours cut."  I said it because you are NOT having your hours cut.  Yours haven't been touched.  They're golden.  Mine, on the other hand, have.  And stop giving me that "Don't take it personally" bull.  I'm sure you'll be pissed when they -do- cut your hours the three weeks after that, and it'll be all MY fault because I complained.  Well, the deal was, we'd alternate.  One week my hours would be cut, the next yours would.  Since that hasn't worked out, I brought it to our manager's attention.  But when I left the room to go talk to said manager, YOU called our effing co-manager and personnel and told them that I just WALKED OUT!  Didn't have the foresight to page ME first to see what was up.  Just told them I had walked out.  Thankfully, I heard you screaming into the phone from the next room over, so I walked into their office and let them know that, while I had walked out of the office to seek out our assistant, I had not actually "walked out."

I'm so sick of your "Well, my budget is dependent on having all of my hours" CRAP.  Your husband makes THREE TIMES what mine does.  I know that these are some hard times, financially, for everyone, but do NOT pretend that you have it worse off than me.  If you're that hard-up, stop driving the SUV and start driving your other car.  You know, the Lincoln.  You're constantly getting your carpets cleaned and buying new furniture and clothes, while I'm struggling to put gas in my 15-year old car so I can come to a job where people who are in less important positions and have only been with the company for a year or two are bringing home a good deal more money than me, when I've been there nearly 6 years.

I'm sure you're thinking it'll just drive me out, and that my being gone "won't make much difference," since you apparently know how to do it all PERFECTLY.  Thing is, lady, I spend time EVERY WEEK correcting YOUR mistakes.  I won't pretend I've never made my own mistakes.  I know I have, but -I- own up to them.  I can't even tell you about yours, and I can't even try to teach you anything, because you get all offended and say I'm being bossy and make snide "Yes, teacher.  I'll do better next time" comments. Woman, you are nearly 60 years old.  Grow up a little, okay?

[Trillium]

Give me a friggin break!!!  Just because there is not a funeral, I have to use my vacation time?!?!  I need time to grieve...that's why it's called grievance leave...  Do you really want me sitting at the office crying? 
And...You already screwed me out of 1/2 a day vacation leave when we had to close for the last hurricane scare.  It's doesn't matter if I had time scheduled off...if you do it to me again I'm gonna be really ticked off!!!!!!!

[SleepyArcher]

I just got my new pirate coat from a seamstress I found on ebay. I really liked her coats. she had good ratings from buyers on her coats. I have waited over two months when she said it takes 3 weeks. The dang thing doesnt even fit right! It is flimsy, she didnt even put in any lining to stiffen it up. Its not worth sending it back cuz what can she do? Ive waited this long, I would have to wait longer for her to try and make it right.
I think I will go back to the first gal I tried and have her make a new one over the winter. Or maybe just take the hit and wear it and look stupid....

[maelstrom0370]

Unfortunately, I follow politics more closely then most. I just don't talk about them is all. The thing I have learned about political threads on forums is that most people who do post to them already have their minds made up anyway. Nothing anyone else says is going change their minds either. Discussions get circular in nature. The same things get re-hashed time and time again. There are some people who can keep things civil. But, as I said earlier, in my experiences, things only stay civil for so long. Sooner or later some newbie, who takes themselves way to seriously, shows up guns a blazing looking to pick something with anyone who dares to disagree with them, or some pot stirrer shows up (who really doesn't care about the topic) who just wants to push some buttons and see what happens. Some one gets drunk and bored some night and tosses in a little bomb shell just to see what will happen and who will bite.

I agree with you. The thread in question did remain civil. Should it have been axed? I guess that's a matter of opinion. I never would have let it got started based on my past experiences in other forums. Been there, done that. I wouldn't give it a chance to start up again.

Isn't it amazing how the ghost of a political thread has the power to start it's own argument?  "It sucks that they axed it!"  "Yea, but they had to!" "Yea, but it still sucks!" and so on and so on.  I've come to realize that "They" did what "They" did based on prior experience, because it seems absolutely everyone has their "On this other forum..." story.  Unfortunately, to me at least, it seems the more it's talked about, the more it comes across as "You can't be trusted with your toys.  We saved you from yourselves."
In the words of the great Forrest Gump..."That's all I got ta say 'bout that"

[Xanthenes The Unbalanced]

Unfortunately, I follow politics more closely then most. I just don't talk about them is all. The thing I have learned about political threads on forums is that most people who do post to them already have their minds made up anyway. Nothing anyone else says is going change their minds either. Discussions get circular in nature. The same things get re-hashed time and time again. There are some people who can keep things civil. But, as I said earlier, in my experiences, things only stay civil for so long. Sooner or later some newbie, who takes themselves way to seriously, shows up guns a blazing looking to pick something with anyone who dares to disagree with them, or some pot stirrer shows up (who really doesn't care about the topic) who just wants to push some buttons and see what happens. Some one gets drunk and bored some night and tosses in a little bomb shell just to see what will happen and who will bite.

I agree with you. The thread in question did remain civil. Should it have been axed? I guess that's a matter of opinion. I never would have let it got started based on my past experiences in other forums. Been there, done that. I wouldn't give it a chance to start up again.

A few things stand out to me here, and in that entire little episode in general; things which I find at least mildly insufferable.    I mean, as long as we're venting...

1.  People who claim they simply "know better" when it comes to other adults, be it from a past experience, a hunch, or something they picked up on an old episode of Barney Miller.  Really, I'm a big kid now.  I know what a civil discussion looks like and everyone participating in it was participating at a level-headed, mature level; regardless of what may or may not have happened in some thread on another website. 

2.  Skittishness.  If there *might* be a disagreement, bring forth the axe and lop off the head of the offending discussion.  Look, as I've said, it's not my board.  If I were paying for it, I could make the calls.  I respect that.  I'm a business owner, and I don't let people wander in off the streets and make the rules.  That said, every single comment I've seen in opposition that thread has been chock full of "what if", "it could have", "i know a guy who knew a guy", "i was in a thread arguing the comparative qualities of Bob Dole and Jabba The Hut once and it went nuclear...", etc.  Honestly, could somebody pass the crystal ball?  I have some more stocks I'd like to pick up.

3.  The inability of people to just skip a thread, change the channel, etc.  I don't like American Idol.  I'm not going to disparage it, but I just don't like it.  So, I developed this handy response mechanism to American Idol:  I just don't watch it.  While I appreciate that the last thing in the world the mods want is an inbox full of complaints, I'm left wondering why the offended individuals were even reading it in the first place.  It took all of the first four words to identify that thread as political.  Folks, just skip it.

Again, no problem in the world that it was killed.  He who owns the board makes the call.  But really folks, I think we've had just about enough amateur psychology and faulty causality.

[Storm]

Unfortunately, I follow politics more closely then most. I just don't talk about them is all. The thing I have learned about political threads on forums is that most people who do post to them already have their minds made up anyway. Nothing anyone else says is going change their minds either. Discussions get circular in nature. The same things get re-hashed time and time again. There are some people who can keep things civil. But, as I said earlier, in my experiences, things only stay civil for so long. Sooner or later some newbie, who takes themselves way to seriously, shows up guns a blazing looking to pick something with anyone who dares to disagree with them, or some pot stirrer shows up (who really doesn't care about the topic) who just wants to push some buttons and see what happens. Some one gets drunk and bored some night and tosses in a little bomb shell just to see what will happen and who will bite.

I agree with you. The thread in question did remain civil. Should it have been axed? I guess that's a matter of opinion. I never would have let it got started based on my past experiences in other forums. Been there, done that. I wouldn't give it a chance to start up again.

A few things stand out to me here, and in that entire little episode in general; things which I find at least mildly insufferable.    I mean, as long as we're venting...

1.  People who claim they simply "know better" when it comes to other adults, be it from a past experience, a hunch, or something they picked up on an old episode of Barney Miller.  Really, I'm a big kid now.  I know what a civil discussion looks like and everyone participating in it was participating at a level-headed, mature level; regardless of what may or may not have happened in some thread on another website. 

2.  Skittishness.  If there *might* be a disagreement, bring forth the axe and lop off the head of the offending discussion.  Look, as I've said, it's not my board.  If I were paying for it, I could make the calls.  I respect that.  I'm a business owner, and I don't let people wander in off the streets and make the rules.  That said, every single comment I've seen in opposition that thread has been chock full of "what if", "it could have", "i know a guy who knew a guy", "i was in a thread arguing the comparative qualities of Bob Dole and Jabba The Hut once and it went nuclear...", etc.  Honestly, could somebody pass the crystal ball?  I have some more stocks I'd like to pick up.

3.  The inability of people to just skip a thread, change the channel, etc.  I don't like American Idol.  I'm not going to disparage it, but I just don't like it.  So, I developed this handy response mechanism to American Idol:  I just don't watch it.  While I appreciate that the last thing in the world the mods want is an inbox full of complaints, I'm left wondering why the offended individuals were even reading it in the first place.  It took all of the first four words to identify that thread as political.  Folks, just skip it.

Again, no problem in the world that it was killed.  He who owns the board makes the call.  But really folks, I think we've had just about enough amateur psychology and faulty causality.

I can't disagree with you completely on a lot of what you said. The argument you are making is one I made about 6 or 7 years ago on another forum. You know what I got as a response from the head honcho mod there?..

I paraphrase, but she basically told me that it was their forum and if I didn't like the way they did things to feel free to leave. They wouldn't miss me if I were gone. And, not to let the door hit me on the way out. She also suggested that I start my own forum where I could run things as I saw fit.

I really didn't care for that answer, but later I became a mod on a forum and I guess I saw things differently then. When I had to deal with the crap I changed my mind. There is a hell of difference between being a mod and being a member. You kinda get a feel for the threads that are going to cause you problems and after a while you just say the heck with them and shut them down before they get a chance to clutter your inbox. I don't mod anymore (except for one small forum), because I got sick of dealing with the crap. I got better things to do with my time.

I guess the bottom line is....If you don't like the way things are handled there really isn't a whole hell of a lot you can do about it. Get use to it or....move on....

It really is that simple....


Thankfully, I am not a mod here. All I am saying, is I completely understand why they did what they did.