Have any co-workers or friends asked to borrow some of your garb?
What has your response been?
Do you have loaner garb that maybe you wore it but now you've moved on but you've kept it for cases like these?
If you loan it, do you ask people to return it cleaned, or do they just clean it before giving it back?
Do you set any stipulations (like please don't smoke while wearing it) when you give it to them?
I have gladly outfitted my close friends - and have gotten some of them hooked on faire! But I'm talking about casual and/or work acquaintances.
I've been asked by someone I work with, not a close friend, but someone who knows we go to faire. And honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about lending out my garb. One time I was asked by someone who works for my husband and she didn't even clean the garb before giving it back.
I most likely will do it this time, but I was wondering if others have been in the same situation.
We've loaned garb tons of times--but never to somebody who we weren't going to fair *with.* I guess I would definitely put whatever stipulations on it that you're comfortable with--and also only loan garb that's easy to care for (peasant skirts vs full court gown).
I do have garb that I wore years ago, but still like, so I wont throw it away. That is what I lend out, but I only lend to my friends and family. Never to anyone I dont know very well. To me it does not matter if they return it back washed or not, I will wash it either way (I'm allergic to some laundry soaps). But I agree with Gem, if you do loan it out, put what ever stipulations on it that you want.
I loaned out some garb to a theatre company I had been with for years, with the stipulation that everything had to come back to me EXACTLY as it had left.
One of the things I lent was a floor length yellow silk skirt. It was actually a gift from my Dad's cousin, and it still had the original price tag from the 70's in it- $200. It came back HEMMED TO A SHORTER LENGTH.
I nearly killed the girl who had done that without permission. I no longer lend garb unless I've got a contract.
Rule of thumb--
Never lend anything you can't afford to lose.
Same goes with wearing/taking things to faire.
Have any co-workers or friends asked to borrow some of your garb? Yes
What has your response been? Never again
Do you have loaner garb that maybe you wore it but now you've moved on but you've kept it for cases like these? Not anymore considering the shape the 2 dresses came back in.
If you loan it, do you ask people to return it cleaned, or do they just clean it before giving it back? I asked.
Do you set any stipulations (like please don't smoke while wearing it) when you give it to them? I tried.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I now only loan garb to members of my immediate family. I loaned gowns to 2 ladies to wear to Pennsic for Court and both came back dirty and torn. One was so badly ripped up the back that I threw it away, not to mention it reeked of cigarettes. The other was a front lacing Venetian that had 1/3 of the grommets ripped out of the fabric. How they managed that I can't guess.
I have garb that I loan out. The medieval sideless surcoat outfit (chemise, gown, sideless overgown, hat) all came back exactly as I had lent them. But I believe I was lucky-this lady is very particular and wouldn't dream of damaging someones things.
I now have other things I loan out, Moresca Max II, a beaded noble (that I wore once then shrank out of it), and a couple peasant style bodices. So far, so good. I do ask that people not smoke while wearing my garb. Even after washing I can still smell it.
I got off kind of easy when I got burned doing 'loaners' to folks I didn't know well. It was a scented wooden fan that I was very fond of. The lady I loaned it to was going to borrow it
'for just a moment', then she left it on her seat in a court area (apparently she thought it was safe) Voila! It was snagged by a passer by who also helped themselves to other goodies in the unattended area. Considering the nature of the objects that were missing, (sparklies mostly) it was probably a young(er) child.
I never loan garb to folks I am not going to be with all day unless they are family members using them for costume parties or events (Mom's closet is cheaper than a costume rental and the stuff is better quality) I sew very few things and nearly all my pieces cost over 50$ new. Most come from good quality vendors like Sofi's stitches or Likely Lotus.
I only lend out my wench garb. I haven't worn it in about 10 yrs - so I do keep it for loaning out. I haven't had any issues with the people I have loaned it too. It has always come back cleaned and in the same shape. I am picky about who borrows my garb. If it is just a causal acquaintance - no. I need to know the person pretty well - there's a better chance that they take care of my garb than. ;D
I only lend my court garb to my sister. I know she will take care. I will never lend it to any other family member or friend. I have put a lot of time and energy into each piece and don't want to chance someone ruining any piece.
Quote from: Welsh Wench on June 19, 2010, 09:06:08 AM
Rule of thumb--
Never lend anything you can't afford to lose.
Same goes with wearing/taking things to faire.
When you're loaning something, you're just giving it away with the hope that its given back.
I've lent a few things out, and generally not had any bad experiences doing it, but its onlt been to close friends and family. Even then stuff doesn't always get back to me. With the time and money that generally go into garb, its a tough situation. Do you get somebody into the spirit, and hope they respect your work, or do you protect your work and goods (and not encourage somebody to dress)?
As to stipulations, I say yes. If its clean when I hand it to you, it had best be clean when you hand it back! I used to give peopel who borrowed my truck, even for an afternoon the choice of returning it freshly washed, or with a full tank (usually it came back washed). Its a bit of respect for not only the stuff, but for you, if people return things ready to use. And besides, it a bit of 'sweat rent'.
Quote from: DonaCatalina on June 19, 2010, 09:16:07 AM
One was so badly ripped up the back that I threw it away, not to mention it reeked of cigarettes. The other was a front lacing Venetian that had 1/3 of the grommets ripped out of the fabric. How they managed that I can't guess.
What a horrible experience..
Most smokers don't realize (and some don't care) that the stink clings to everything they wear, and everyone they smoke near.
As for the ripped grommets and seams; some people will try to squeeze into garb that is just too small for them and just assume the piece was constructed for tight lacing. An associate of mine owns a theater/event costume rental business (he also buys used garb.) He said rentals are so expensive for just this reason, most are returned needing mending of some sort.
He quit renting the expensive court costumes to non theater individuals, because the gowns kept coming back with seams ripped out. Damage still happens onstage, but they usually have someone there to fix it before it goes back to the shop, and (most) actors know to wear the proper undergarments.
I made pirate costumes for my children when they were young (3 and 6?). They wore them twice, and then we put them away. I have since loaned them out twice to two different people (the children are 16 and 19 now). The costumes always came back clean and folded.
I loaned them to people with whom I worked.
But, as Welsh Wench so aptly put it:
Quote from: Welsh Wench on June 19, 2010, 09:06:08 AM
Rule of thumb--
Never lend anything you can't afford to lose.
Same goes with wearing/taking things to faire.
I second that rule of thumb!
I've gone through so much garb over the years that I have an entire 22quart plastic tub of clothes that are specifically for "junk use". Junk use includes loaning-out, dressing fellow employees in a pinch after they've forgotten something at home, and wearing on days that are definitely going to be garb-killers (like severe thunderstorms, etc). I can comfortably garb about 8 women out of that tub, lol.. and another five if I delve into the GOOD GARB, which I do NOT loan to anyone except my sister, and that is a VERY rare occasion. Nothing in the junk-use tub would cause me significant distress if it disappeared, so I don't mind letting people use it.
Halloween costumes now, there's another story.. I've loaned out five in my live and gotten all of TWO of them back.. I'm still horribly angry about a coworker disappearing with my Brownies uniform.. you know how hard it is to get an authentic Brownies uniform to fit a grown woman?!
Because of my size, As you can see I'm a goddess sized woman, most of the people that I loan my things too are just so happy to find something that fits that they are very careful with it. Since I have everything from wench, viking, court, elizabethian, and pirate, for a plus sized woman I am a treasure trove. My stipulations are that they sign a reciept and leave collateral for the items borrowed, and they NOT launder them. The reason why I do not want them to launder the items is that most people with throw items in the washer, dryer and call it good. I'm particular about how my items are laundered, certin items are hand washed only, somethings are dry clean only, some I wash on delecate in cold water in a pillow case, ect.... this way I can take stock of any stains or wear and decide if that person can borrow again. Since I will insist on a reciept and collateral I get my items back and in a reasonable time, but I do no lend out anything I truely value.
I had a strange request last night. A friend told me she had outgrown all of her garb and asked if I had something that could fit her. ??? Mind you she is taller than I am and weighs a good 30 lbs more than I do. Everything I have fits me or is too small for me. I don't think I have anything that would fit her.
I think the "junk garb" bin is a brilliant idea!
When I first went to faire on an office outing (that was a cool office!), my co-worker opened up her garb wardrobe to my husband and me. I was so touched by her generosity that I am collecting "guest garb" for friends and visitors.
Thrift stores are great: with a little digging you can build a circle-skirt, poet-shirt, shawl-at-the-waist outfit for less than $10 and have no emotional attachment to it. Granted, it's not jaw-droppingly great garb, but those who don't tote their own aren't likely to be super picky.
That said, SHAME SHAME and FIE on those who would return your garb stinky or dirty! I trust their mothers would not be proud.
What fortuitous timing on this thread... Just yesterday I was asked by a friend of a friend if she could borrow some garb. I said I might have something she could wear but did not commit to anything. After spending the day with her I am a bit concerned... She is, shall we say, rather lively and animated when she has been drinking. I would be concerned about anything I loaned to her getting damaged and dirty just from her behaviour! Yikes! :-\
When a friend decided her bachelorette would be at Faire, I made us all purple wench bodices with different trimmings, and skirt to match the trim, and bloomers and blouses. We looked really good! Since, the garb (And other garb that has accumulated) has clothed other Faire-goers, and any number of Shakesperean plays... I never lend to strangers or casual aquaintances, and the theater always gets an inventory list. (I borrow from other theaters in the same fashion - always an inventory to check against) And I, too, want to clean them myself... The garb I wear myself never goes on another's back...
I've only lent things to immediate family members then cleaned them myself. I don't think I would ask or trust others to properly clean the garments after wearing. Even though most of my things are washable I am very particular about how they are washed and dried.
NEVER!!!!!!!
I never lend out anything! Call me a mean person but I put too much into it to lend out and get beat up!
I only lend to VERY close friends and VERY close family!!!
So far that includes mom and the guy that married us! :D
Call me a cynic but I just don't trust anyone! If I can't get a pencil back in good condition what do I think will happen to my garb! I put too much time, effort, and money into it to chance it.
Though I suppose if you were torn the collateral is a GREAT idea! You have my stuff, I have your stuff!
I loaned garb once, it came back sweat stained, with...what I hope was BBQ sauce on it (it was a white fabric), and otherwise all wrinkly. The stains never came out needless to say. So I no longer loan stuff. Then again I'm tiny so most of my friends are too big for most of my gear. Obviously things like my faun legs ONLY fit me, cause they were cast to my legs for fittings, and don't stretch. I suppose that first bad taste left in my mouth has kept me from letting people borrow things.
I had a very sad experience loaning garb. Never again!!!- I have had good luck with Very Dear friends on the few occasions I lent it again. But loaning any garb you care about is a bad idea. Most faires rent garb!
My rogue and I only loan to good friends and family, and if we are going with them. Our friend who just borrowed garb to wear Saturday is cleaning my garb before giving it back. ;D And depending on the person would depend on if they got garb that I still wear but am not wearing that day or if they get the garb I no longer wear.
Just a quick story. I loaned one of my grandpa's shirts to the minister. His wife said I shouldn't because he will spill something on it. I was like "Naahh". Low and behold with about 1 hour of faire to go he spilled a great big gob of chocolate down the front! Luckily the shirt is washable and cleaned up just fine. Though he couldn't stop apologizing. I love this man and his family TO DEATH! If it weren't for that... :o
Natasha, my mom is the exact same way. I know not to loan anything that's not 100% washable, or that I am 100% certain I won't wear again.
My MIL, OTOH, I swear has never in her life spilled, dropped, broken, or torn anything. I'd be constantly humiliated in her presence if she weren't also one of my favorite people on the planet. She has her own garb now, but I've happily loaned to her several times in the past, knowing everything would come back even BETTER than I sent it out! LOL
Quote from: gem on June 24, 2010, 01:12:08 PM
Natasha, my mom is the exact same way. I know not to loan anything that's not 100% washable, or that I am 100% certain I won't wear again.
My MIL, OTOH, I swear has never in her life spilled, dropped, broken, or torn anything. I'd be constantly humiliated in her presence if she weren't also one of my favorite people on the planet. She has her own garb now, but I've happily loaned to her several times in the past, knowing everything would come back even BETTER than I sent it out! LOL
;D ;D ;D ;D
I am going to come off as horrible ..but..never ever EVER again will I loan my stuff to anyone. First time I did, it was my own sister who got herself rather giddy after some drinks and tromped all over the skirts of her own AND the train on the dress I was currently wearing. While nothing got ruined, I spent the rest of the day babysitting my garb, for fear of turning my head and RIIIIP...
Second time was my mother in law (before she was my MIL) who stained a white chemise with the dye that transfered from a leather corset she bought that day (I sent her that day wearing a fabric bodice that was mine and doesn't transfer dye). The 2 skirts she borrowed weren't damaged but stunk horribly of cigarettes and after seeing the chemise, I didn't even want her attempting to wash the skirts...I told her to just give them to me as is and I'd clean them. The chemise, she felt badly about, so she gave me the money that it had cost.
I have loaned out pieces to my mom for dressing up at work around Halloween, but she has more respect for my items. When I still lived at home, she would watch as I handmade certain items...so she has more understanding of why I take care of my garb as well as I do. When she has borrowed them I have always said "Be VERY careful" but she knows... and they always come back clean, folded, and unharmed.
QuoteSecond time was my mother in law (before she was my MIL) who stained a white chemise with the dye that transfered from a leather corset she bought that day (I sent her that day wearing a fabric bodice that was mine and doesn't transfer dye).
I have to say that I've had a lot of trouble with this issue on garb not made by me (apparently some of the garbmongers don't pre-wash their lining fabrics). It's not such a big deal if you're wearing a white shirt/chemise and can use RIT dye remover... but what do you do when you get dye transfer on a colored shirt? OT grumble....
I only have wenchy/ peasant garb right now, so I'm not too worried about it getting messed up, but I've only leant to people that were going with me to whatever event it was. I don't think I'd be too keen about lending anything to someone I didn't know very well, regardless of the class.
I have mostly only loaned out garb to friends and family and only if they were going to be at the same event as me. I recently loaned out one of my garbs so that an old acquaintence of my wife could bring his hound to our faire. I gave it to him that morning and collected it before he left and then took it home and washed it. He took good care of it and I've never had a bad experience with loaning out garb but then again, I've VERY selective of who I loan to. Also, I will NOT loan out any of my noble garb as they are hard to maintain and we've put too much work into them to have them ruined.
I loaned out garb to what I thought were good friends, and when I got the stuff back, there were rips, dirty all over, some buttons missing. >:(
I swore after that happened to me twice, I will never lend garb out to anyone. :P
Quote from: RumbaRue on July 03, 2010, 01:19:16 PM
when I got the stuff back, there were rips, dirty all over, some buttons missing. >:(
This makes me upset. Seriously, who treats other people's things that way? That's just ridiculous. I hope you held them responsible for fixing it!
I'm renewing this thread. With PRF starting this weekend I have 2 ladies asking to borrow garb. I do not know these ladies very well. And as we all know, garb is expensive and it's taken me years to put together several very nice ensembles complete with accessories. (I'm a wench)
How do I politely decline lending my garb? Additonally these ladies want to accompany me to faire. I go early, alone (by choice), and set my own schedule for the day. I'm not interested in their company the entire day. Again, how to I politely "blow them off?"
I haven't invited these ladies to join me nor have I offered them garb. So why do they keep insisting?
Gina
They know you are a native of the faire, for lack of a better word, and want to go on tour with a native and yet look like a native themselves - sort of like how many people travel to another country and call up their family/friends that live there.
If they aren't the same size as you, not lending the garb is easy - explain that although you are excited that they want to come to faire, your garb is made for you and your size. They'd be uncomfortable in something that wouldn't fit them and you don't want them to uncomfortable all day -that won't be fun!
As for not wanting them to come with you - explain that while you are delighted that they would want to hang out with you, they would only get to see a few things since you have a very specific schedule and it may not be interesting to them. Instead, say you'd be happy to meet up with them for lunch but they'd probably have a lot more fun and get to see a lot more of faire if they strike out on their own.
Isabella, thank you for your input. I'd never thought of myself as a native...but I can see where these ladies think that! And I can follow the idea that if they dress like and go with a native, they will be more accepted as such.
I suppose I should be flattered. I WILL use your other suggestions as to size and shape of garb. Shaking them off once they find me at faire will be a bit more difficult.
Gina
I actually wish I had friends asking to borrow garb, not that I'd lend any to them ;) Most of my friend's don't dress up for whatever reason (insecurity I guess). And they like to make comments on my outfits all the way to the faire (they still love going at least). However, it never fails that once we get there, the cast makes fun of them for dressing in such odd attire ;D
Now that I'm making my own stuff, I couldn't imagine loaning anything handmade out. It would be like lending my child. Besides, like previous posters said, handmade garb is fitted to yourself, so it probably wouldn't look right on others.
Arbcoind,
I actually have accumulated enough wenchy goodness that I can dress a small army of women and at least one man (as long as he wants to be a pirate!). Usually this is reserved for one of my best girlfriends who goes with us once a year, or my daughters friends. To discourage the faint at heart though, I tell people that our normal routine is to get there at 8:30am (cannon is at 10) and that they have to get dressed in the parking lot, and we aren't leaving until nearly 8pm.
Those who are not daunted by that get a lecture once they are dressed on the estimated value of what they are wearing and a firm lecture of how I will disown them and bill them for damages.
For our vow renewal this past May, I dressed 6 of our friends, and our daughters friends with no mishaps. Now mind you, these are are RELATIVELY inexpesive pieces and if anything were trashed I would be cranky but not heartbroken, and that person would not be welcome back with us.
I've also enjoyed taking virgins to faire and showing them around. I get to see things I may not normally see or do because of our routine.
So there you go....slightly different take on your dilemma. Whatever you do, don't let them stress you out over it. Keep Faire as your happy place!
Lady Kett,
Thank you for your thoughts. These ladies don't want to wear my "old" stuff. They want the new custom fit or tailored items that I currently wear. They also "love" my studded leather accessories, hats with feathers, etc.
Have them dress in the parking lot? Great idea. That ought to scare the poo right out of them.
Ser Niall,
Thank you as well for your input. Most of my garb is made to my measurements or I have had the item(s) altered to fit me. I often alter my own clothing. So it is unwise to lend anything to someone who isn't exactly my size.
Gina
Quote from: arbcoind on August 27, 2012, 09:11:03 AM
So it is unwise to lend anything to someone who isn't exactly my size.
And no matter how they may protest NO ONE is EXACTLY your size!!! ;)
Even someone who is very close to your size could dramatically alter the stretch and curve and krinkles in that bodice you have been wearing for years and make it no longer comfy. I say no way Jose!
Dinobabe, you are correct and thank you for responding to my question. It's good to be able to come here to post a question, have everyone understand it and get some very good advise.
Now to get these ladies to understand.
Gina
Since I had the original question & started this topic, here is what I found worked for me.
I bought a 99 cents Simplicity or Mccall's pattern for this dress (can't remember which one & am not by the pattern box), but instead of sewing the sides, I left them open & under each arm put 3 sets of grommets. It is a cotton blend, can get thrown in the washing machine, is very cool when it is hot, and can be worn by anybody, just lace tighter or looser depending on the person's size. I bought the material at Joann's with a 40% off coupon for this (around $10 plus trim, also on sale), but someone else made one for another friend using 2 tablecloths I bought at Goodwill for $4 each, and her trim was from leftover stash.
I wear it myself when it's so hot that I can't stand wearing anything heavy. All that is needed is a long chemise - and I don't mind loaning that, as I have 3 long white ones. It takes only a couple of hours to make, so not a lot of money or time invested, and every time I've worn it, I get comments on how nice it is!
(http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e109/LadyReneeBuchanan/DSCN0461.jpg)
It's pretty easy to throw together something reasonably wenchy or pirate-y from stuff they have around the house. Tell them to make it themselves, and they will always have it, and respect it, better. A basic 2-3 panel skirt with a drawstring waist takes about 2 hours: Just a few squares of cloth sewn end to end, hemmed on one edge and and have a curtain rod pocket on the other. They can make a few and layer them. Cotton shirting is .99-1.99 yd.
Tell them that corsets/bodices are personal items, like favorite jeans, and you don't share personally fitted stuff. They should understand that comparison.
Just about all the accessories, like belts and hats, that they need are available to buy at faire, and be sure to tell them that's part of the fun (it is). Once they see the prices, they will appreciate that the stuff they want to borrow from you is not cheap, and may understand why you don't want to loan yours out.
They can hunt up tankards and cups at the Goodwill. That's where I get my 'starter' and 'loaner' stuff from, I don't care if I get it back, or even in one piece since it's used by kids.
Quote from: Rowen MacD on August 27, 2012, 12:46:51 PM
It's pretty easy to throw together something reasonably wenchy or pirate-y from stuff they have around the house. Tell them to make it themselves, and they will always have it, and respect it, better. A basic 2-3 panel skirt with a drawstring waist takes about 2 hours: Just a few squares of cloth sewn end to end, hemmed on one edge and and have a curtain rod pocket on the other. They can make a few and layer them. Cotton shirting is .99-1.99 yd.
Tell them that corsets/bodices are personal items, like favorite jeans, and you don't share personally fitted stuff. They should understand that comparison.
Just about all the accessories, like belts and hats, that they need are available to buy at faire, and be sure to tell them that's part of the fun (it is). Once they see the prices, they will appreciate that the stuff they want to borrow from you is not cheap, and may understand why you don't want to loan yours out.
They can hunt up tankards and cups at the Goodwill. That's where I get my 'starter' and 'loaner' stuff from, I don't care if I get it back, or even in one piece since it's used by kids.
These are some really good points!
Renee and Rowen, thank you for your input. You have some very good ideas. These ladies don't care to be regulars at Faire. They just want to go once a year and borrow any and all things. They've asked me to get them free tickets, which I'm not able to do...so...I think we can all conclude that they want a free day at faire!
Gina
Quote from: arbcoind on August 28, 2012, 07:08:07 AM
Renee and Rowen, thank you for your input. You have some very good ideas. These ladies don't care to be regulars at Faire. They just want to go once a year and borrow any and all things. They've asked me to get them free tickets, which I'm not able to do...so...I think we can all conclude that they want a free day at faire!
Gina
Gina, your last post pretty much explains it all. Take a hint from the (failed) War on Drugs...just say "No!"
Thanks Merlin. I suppose I didn't convey that in my renewal of the thread. I now have the will and the ammunition to "just say no". And not feel bad about it.
I am very appreciative to everyone who gave suggestions. I will keep all in mind for my closer friends and family should they approach me about borrowing garb.
Gina
I've had both good and bad experiences loaning garb. All from getting it back dry cleaned and pressed to having to almost beg to get it back and it be covered in cat hair in a winked glob. Luckily it has all been my beginner garb or things that don't fit any longer. But I've become VERY selective of loaning garb and will say no.
I've only loaned garb to my mom for Halloween. The funniest part was getting her to understand that the pieces she needed were very loosely sized & yes she could wear ones my husband wore.
I have a few friends I might loan separates to but never my corsets. One is a Moresca, one is a reversible under bust & the third is leather and was custom made for me. No way am I loaning out that much money.
It's not that my garb is expensive, it's just precious to me! I (or my mom/grandma) made everything so it is literally irreplaceable. ;)