Ok, so I was thinking last season and I have one memory that keeps popping into my head and makes me laugh EVERY time...
Monte and I (and ONLY Monte and I) are up starting breakfast and there's some poor schmuck stumbling around in camp near Rapiers tent. Dude starts to wretch in the middle of camp and suddenly you hear Rapier yell from his tent "DUDE, FIND A TRASHCAN!!!". Rapier promptly rolls over and goes back to sleep, and Monte and I damn near die laughing!
Now I feel silly ... I can't think of anything!
Some guy wandered into our camp, started chatting with us. Obviously drunk beyond all reason. He then proceeded to yell at our lantern, "You think you're better than me...with your ability to conduct electricity into a luminescence, with your filaments and light giving properties" which he then proceeded to kick , stomp, and break said lantern....Funny because it wasn't my lantern, funny also because it was so sad
OR
A friend of mine had about 3/4 of a bottle of peppermint schnapps...well, it being early in the season, said group was unsure about fires, as they had been told by a security guard to cease and desist of a pit before, so they had a Coleman set up dead center. Peppermint Red, as I will call him, is sitting on a cooler in the circle when he suddenly yells out, "OH NO! The lantern is falling!" and proceeds to reach out and grab it by the lantern to halt it from tipping over...(he was falling, not the lantern mind you)....the sound of sizzling flesh on the glass globe and he sits there....and sits there..finally he yells JESUS! and jumps back....Funny because he's fine and his fingerprints are SEARED into that globe, loops, whirls and all.
Quote from: Mead Swilling Lech on August 20, 2010, 12:45:23 PM
Ok, so I was thinking last season and I have one memory that keeps popping into my head and makes me laugh EVERY time...
Monte and I (and ONLY Monte and I) are up starting breakfast and there's some poor schmuck stumbling around in camp near Rapiers tent. Dude starts to wretch in the middle of camp and suddenly you hear Rapier yell from his tent "DUDE, FIND A TRASHCAN!!!". Rapier promptly rolls over and goes back to sleep, and Monte and I damn near die laughing!
Close enough for government work and you definitly got the spirit of the moment. What I actually yelled was "DUDE!! TRASHCAN!!" I didn't want to confuse the poor idiot with too many words. It was a brand new tent, and the last thing I wanted was to throw away my tent because some newbie can't hold his liquor.
I'll have to root around in my brain to find a good one from last year.
... It shouldn't be too hard, considering how empty it is... ;D
I remember Monte's killer lamp post...
A pair of younger campers were cutting through our camp, last AHE, right before breakfast. It looked kind a like the had be up all night watching the "pretty colors" and weren't really paying attention to where they were walking. The first one, at the last second, noticed Martin's cast iron lamp post and managed to duck aside from it's projecting arm but his buddy wasn't so lucky. Ahhh, the dangers of cell phones... he walked right into it at full speed and laid himself out flat, broke his cell, and smashed his nose pretty good.
I know it's mean but i just about died laughing... :D
As the sayings go, "It's all fun and games until someone loses and eye...then it's hilarious", or "Comedy is when someone falls down a manhole and dies...Tragedy is when I cut my finger."
Quote from: Mouse on August 21, 2010, 12:53:04 PM
As the sayings go, "It's all fun and games until someone loses and eye...then it's hilarious", or "Comedy is when someone falls down a manhole and dies...Tragedy is when I cut my finger."
So...would Irony be when someone falls on you and cuts you?
Quote from: Mouse on August 21, 2010, 12:53:04 PM
As the sayings go, "It's all fun and games until someone loses and eye...then it's hilarious", or "Comedy is when someone falls down a manhole and dies...Tragedy is when I cut my finger."
Remember Valt & the First Aid!? "Can you move your fingertip?" I asked. "Yes..." from a pale looking Valt. "Well, you can still take pictures... Get up and lets get going"
and this is why Vault is going to wind up with an eye twitch from hanging out with us :D
James has been hiding from us... OOOOH VALT! I know you're lurking somewhere out there...
I just want to let you know the old trigger finger has been working fine... A twinge now and then if I poke at where the scar tissue from that cut is. And that same day I was trying to use my middle finger to take pictures but kept forgetting and reverting back to the index finger which promptly reminded me to not use it. I'm a little safer with my pocket knife now, and will bring some wire cutters for those damn zip ties this time...
Valt from the pics I've seen you posting on FB I'd say your trigger finger is no worse for the wear and you have been 'suffering' for your art lol. ;)
"Suffering"? Is that what you would call taking pictures? Because the ones I have seen only make me curious about the ones that aren't public.
I still think that someone who thought they lost their money then found it was the funniest moment I can think of. By the way bro, You got your dough or what. I told you that you didn't lose it. ;D
No that would simply be TRF!
Quote from: Rapier Half-Wit on August 21, 2010, 01:34:58 PM
Quote from: Mouse on August 21, 2010, 12:53:04 PM
As the sayings go, "It's all fun and games until someone loses and eye...then it's hilarious", or "Comedy is when someone falls down a manhole and dies...Tragedy is when I cut my finger."
So...would Irony be when someone falls on you and cuts you?
Quote from: Rapier Half-Wit on August 22, 2010, 11:41:48 AM
"Suffering"? Is that what you would call taking pictures? Because the ones I have seen only make me curious about the ones that aren't public.
It truly is suffering. I mean, I have learned that you can develop blisters on your knees from kneeling in the sand too much while taking picture of girls in swimsuits on the beach. And that the mosquitoes out there will try to carry you off. Then there is the hours spent baking cupcakes for photo props and having to taste test them. Its grueling work I tell ya.
And there really aren't any yet that can't be made public...
Gimme an afternoon, a pair of fishnets, and a blowtorch. We'll see if we can make photos that aren't for basic human consumption.
you and your Sunday hobbies, Bluesky ;)
Quote from: Breandan on August 23, 2010, 10:20:05 AM
you and your Sunday hobbies, Bluesky ;)
Hey Blue, see you this Sunday!
Quote from: blue66669 on August 23, 2010, 08:11:15 AM
Gimme an afternoon, a pair of fishnets, and a blowtorch. We'll see if we can make photos that aren't for basic human consumption.
Hey, save that for Mouse's bachelor party. ;D
Quote from: blue66669 on August 23, 2010, 08:11:15 AM
Gimme an afternoon, a pair of fishnets, and a blowtorch. We'll see if we can make photos that aren't for basic human consumption.
Just remember that he never takes on girls one at a time. The least I have seen is three at once and then the numbers go up like a rocket.
Zaubon
I recall the guy who wondered into our camp - He was in love with Everybody. Hmm, wonder what he was on. He was brushed off by three of our women before I showed up and escorted him to the drum circle where I deposited him. He was the subject of many jokes that night.
And then there was the story of the naked guy at Camp McShuggenah back in 2005??...
We had a few beach tents set up...you know the one's...they really have no door on them they're really just for shade when your at the beach. Well we had two of those set up and everything was fine. The evening was wonderful, had a few laughs...laughed at a few drunks stumbling through our area...you know...the usual stuff you see out in campgrounds, we all headed off to bed in the wee hours of the morning. As usual I wake up at first light and decide that I need to hit the privy. As I'm walking back I notice that there is someone in one of the 1/2 tents...
.
.
.
.
and then I notice that he's naked, save for his boots. At this point in time I just shake my head and try to wake up one of our guys in the group to help me with the drunk naked man. We finally get him up and cover him with a towel that we gave to him, yes we gave it to him, I mean would you really want that back? Anyway, after pouring enough coffee and food into him we discover that he'd come through our camp earlier in the evening when we were all still up. I then remembered that he'd been wearing a kilt. It seems that at that moment it all came back to him because he said "huh," and looked around and pointed to a tree and said "yup, there it is". There, for all to behold, was this man's kilt flying in the breeze 12 feet up in a tree at the back end of our area. Apparently he'd decided to climb the tree in the middle of the night to see if he could see his camp. (Because obviously you can tell in the dark which campfire out of the 1,000 or so campfires are yours.) Upon discovering that he does not have built in night vision he attempts to get back out of said tree. During the climb down his kilt gets caught in the tree and the guy falls out of the tree. So drunk, hurt, and directionally challenged he proceeds to the nearest camp, ours, finds an empty tent and falls asleep. After that he tucks the towel around his waist, climbs the tree to get his kilt and heads back to his own area.
...and I get criticized by some people for not drinking. :P
Quote from: Breandan on September 23, 2010, 07:39:56 PM
...and I get criticized by some people for not drinking. :P
The world needs witnesses my friend. Sober ones. Texas doesn't have enough of those...So, it's nigh upon two weeks to faire..and we are all abuzz..what say we get a yarn spun by Breandan, either here or Redux style?
the only one's I have left are R-rated or worse :D
Here is one of the favorites of our clan,
In 2005 one of our long time clan members had eye surgery, but still wanted to come so he dragged his buddy from work with him. It was his first Ren faire. It was Saturday night and we already had about 2 bottles of mead in us each that night, on top of what ever we had in the faire it's self. Having reached to bottom of the last bottle we were wanting more, problem they were in the car's trunk, and the the work friend had the keys. Unfortuantly said work friend had wandered off to other camps, and we had no idea where he was. Hey he was between us and our alcohol, he had to be found!
In our addled brains the only way we could think of finding him was to ALL 30 of us stand up and shout "DUFF!!!!!!!!" At the top of our lungs all at once. He didn't show up. Grumpily we sat back down and less than 2 minutes later in walk about 10 people carrying jello shots! They came in because we sounded like fun. No sign of Duff until the next morning but he did make it up to us by calling his name Jello shots appeared! Since then the call of "DUFF!" is a good thing. He makes booze appear. ;D
Funny enough 4 years later Duff met my fuzzier half (he wasn't at TRF that year) and Duff is now the other half of the Flamingo brothers. And people wonder why I get gray hairs when they go to TRF together.
I don't really have one good one from last season, it's always a bunch of little things.
One thing that I personally got a laugh out of was how even though I always tell folks it's impossible to find anyone at TRF, people I knew kept finding me! After a while I realized it usually happened around the Sherwood Forest area... Because every time anybody asked my friends where I was, they'd say Circa Paleo! ::)
Quote from: KiltedPrivateer on September 14, 2010, 12:34:52 PM
I recall the guy who wondered into our camp - He was in love with Everybody. Hmm, wonder what he was on. He was brushed off by three of our women before I showed up and escorted him to the drum circle where I deposited him. He was the subject of many jokes that night.
Aren't those always the... most interesting though? Haha
We had a guy stumble across our camp at about 7am one time. He had mardi gras beads and glowsticks all around his neck, and didn't seem to be too aware of his surroundings. We'll say he was... "drunk". Anyways, here we are, eating our breakfast/garbing up/etc., when this kid just wanders over mumbling something about a resin joint, and do we got the resin joint 'cause he wants to smoke a resin joint. Do we know about the resin joint?!
After about ten minutes of us trying to convince him we didn't have a resin joint, he wandered off towards the woods somewhere. A neighboring camp told us later that the same kid showed up at their camp trying to smoke a glow stick.
...
Only at faire. XD
Quote from: Zardoz on September 24, 2010, 09:27:35 AM
... Because every time anybody asked my friends where I was, they'd say Circa Paleo! ::)
Oh those Jenny Fan boys...
For those that work there, after hours there is a swing dance thing on one of the stages. I went on "Prom" night which was a 80's music night. A guy went up on the balcony and was lip singing and everyone on the stage was cheering. I was watching from the benches. A young lady shimmied out of her panties and tossed them at the guy, well she slingshot them up to him, he dodged them and they fell to the stage where everyone lept away from them and laughed, so imagine a huge circle of people and these panties in the middle. The young lady went up picked them up and put them back on! ....
I still shake my head at that one.
Quote from: Shandi on September 24, 2010, 04:12:45 PM
For those that work there, after hours there is a swing dance thing on one of the stages. I went on "Prom" night which was a 80's music night. A guy went up on the balcony and was lip singing and everyone on the stage was cheering. I was watching from the benches. A young lady shimmied out of her panties and tossed them at the guy, well she slingshot them up to him, he dodged them and they fell to the stage where everyone lept away from them and laughed, so imagine a huge circle of people and these panties in the middle. The young lady went up picked them up and put them back on! ....
I still shake my head at that one.
Ahahaha I remember that night! I think my favorite one last season was nineties homecoming though. :P I wonder if they'll still be doing swing dancing this year since Shelby and Vinnie won't be back. :(
Quote from: Shandi on September 24, 2010, 04:12:45 PM
For those that work there, after hours there is a swing dance thing on one of the stages. I went on "Prom" night which was a 80's music night. A guy went up on the balcony and was lip singing and everyone on the stage was cheering. I was watching from the benches. A young lady shimmied out of her panties and tossed them at the guy, well she slingshot them up to him, he dodged them and they fell to the stage where everyone lept away from them and laughed, so imagine a huge circle of people and these panties in the middle. The young lady went up picked them up and put them back on! ....
I still shake my head at that one.
<sigh> Would love to be a participant/vendor, but being a rennie just too much fun. I party at TRF and work my weed puller off at SWFF. Some day after I retire from the mundane world.
Last season, Monday morning of AHE weekend, as everyone was packing up to leave... I had the urge to visit the privy during the course of my labors (not that I usually share that info, but it's relevant), so I wandered over and just opened the first one I came to. Well, across the road from us was the few remaining bits of Camp Chaos... who's theme for the event had something to do with bloody severed (mannequin) heads on pikes. Guess what was the first thing I saw when I opened the door of the privy...? Yep... it was a bloody severed head sitting atop the weekends "leavings", right there, almost level with the seat...
I thought I was going to break a rib from laughing so hard, and I'm sure everyone in Camp Procrastination, and anyone else who saw me, though I'd just gone absolutely mad, to be laughing so hysterically... at the PRIVY!!! :D
Nah... we're pretty sure you are nuts! Lol! :D
Quote from: Fraser of Lovatt on September 26, 2010, 07:02:03 PM
Nah... we're pretty sure you are nuts! Lol! :D
It helps too, doesn't it Fraser.
Quote from: Rapier Half-Wit on September 26, 2010, 07:20:33 PM
Quote from: Fraser of Lovatt on September 26, 2010, 07:02:03 PM
Nah... we're pretty sure you are nuts! Lol! :D
It helps too, doesn't it Fraser.
Yeah, but I don't think any of the folks who noticed my convulsive laughter were actually acquainted with me, or my own particular brand of madness, so they were probably a bit nonplussed to see me backing out of the thing laughing helplessly and pointing, because that's all I had the breath for! :D
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 26, 2010, 09:12:30 PM
Quote from: Rapier Half-Wit on September 26, 2010, 07:20:33 PM
Quote from: Fraser of Lovatt on September 26, 2010, 07:02:03 PM
Nah... we're pretty sure you are nuts! Lol! :D
It helps too, doesn't it Fraser.
Yeah, but I don't think any of the folks who noticed my convulsive laughter were actually acquainted with me, or my own particular brand of madness, so they were probably a bit nonplussed to see me backing out of the thing laughing helplessly and pointing, because that's all I had the breath for! :D
All because someone went to use the head?
Quote from: Mouse on September 26, 2010, 10:04:36 PM
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 26, 2010, 09:12:30 PM
Quote from: Rapier Half-Wit on September 26, 2010, 07:20:33 PM
Quote from: Fraser of Lovatt on September 26, 2010, 07:02:03 PM
Nah... we're pretty sure you are nuts! Lol! :D
It helps too, doesn't it Fraser.
Yeah, but I don't think any of the folks who noticed my convulsive laughter were actually acquainted with me, or my own particular brand of madness, so they were probably a bit nonplussed to see me backing out of the thing laughing helplessly and pointing, because that's all I had the breath for! :D
All because someone went to use the head?
::) (groan...) And the booby prize for most painful pun goes to... :P
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 26, 2010, 10:07:54 PM
Quote from: Mouse on September 26, 2010, 10:04:36 PM
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 26, 2010, 09:12:30 PM
Quote from: Rapier Half-Wit on September 26, 2010, 07:20:33 PM
Quote from: Fraser of Lovatt on September 26, 2010, 07:02:03 PM
Nah... we're pretty sure you are nuts! Lol! :D
It helps too, doesn't it Fraser.
Yeah, but I don't think any of the folks who noticed my convulsive laughter were actually acquainted with me, or my own particular brand of madness, so they were probably a bit nonplussed to see me backing out of the thing laughing helplessly and pointing, because that's all I had the breath for! :D
All because someone went to use the head?
::) (groan...) And the booby prize for most painful pun goes to... :P
I'll take my booby prize in a cup please..any sized cup will do.
Just so long as it doesn't have to be "poured" in, right? :P
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 26, 2010, 11:16:40 PM
Just so long as it doesn't have to be "poured" in, right? :P
*shudder* Why do flapjacks suddenly come to mind?
:-X
Ok, really... we can't hijack EVERY thread in the TX forums... someone is bound to notice at some point! ::) :D
(besides... eeeewwww!!!)
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 27, 2010, 12:05:48 AM
:-X
Ok, really... we can't hijack EVERY thread in the TX forums... someone is bound to notice at some point! ::) :D
(besides... eeeewwww!!!)
One day our memoirs will include these forum posts
Oh, Gods... what a legacy to leave. ::) I can just see it now...
No, wait... I think I'll just close my eyes and not look, instead! :o
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 27, 2010, 01:07:51 AM
Oh, Gods... what a legacy to leave. ::) I can just see it now...
No, wait... I think I'll just close my eyes and not look, instead! :o
What's wrong? You don't like flapjacks?
Quote from: Rapier Half-Wit on September 27, 2010, 05:00:16 AM
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 27, 2010, 01:07:51 AM
Oh, Gods... what a legacy to leave. ::) I can just see it now...
No, wait... I think I'll just close my eyes and not look, instead! :o
What's wrong? You don't like flapjacks?
I was actually talking about the "thread hijack memoirs"... :P