Do you have people who invite themselves along that you just can't say no to?
My sister who is about 12 years older regularly invites herself along on our faire trips even when we're going out of town. She pays for her own hotel and contributes towards gas so that is not the problem.
She complains about getting up early enough to be dressed and at gate before cannon.
She complains that she feels like she is being ignored because we know so many people at faires who want to talk to us even though we do introduce her.
All she wants to do is visit 4-5 shops and then sit down and have lunch. She complains that all the food is too greasy and too expensive, but she won't come out and have sandwiches with the 'clan' because sandwiches are boring. Then she wants to spend the rest of the day sitting at one stage because she says she is tired of walking, but she complains that she's seen the same show 4 times that day.
She swears later that she had a good time, and she does wear her skirts and moresca bodice.
But honestly, I can't see how she enoyed the visit when she had something bad to say about everything?
My husband is about ready to explode because he says her barfluering is ruining his day at Faire.
Anyone else run into this problem?
No! Thank goodness, I do not have this situation. It's because I go to faire alone and anyone who wants to join me can meet me there. They can arrive when they want to, do what they enjoy, complain about everything or not. Meet or not meet MY friends and then leave.
No one is going to ruin my faire experience.
Gina
My brother is 13...he does the same thing EVERYWHERE...even when its somewhere he asked to go, like main event...I think its just that age...also is she normally physically active? if not the walking might actually be exhausting her...Luckily my brother has a cell phone now so we just bail and tell him not to leave where he is without letting us know...if shes got a phone and isn't afraid to be by herself maybe you could do this with her when shes ready to sit at the same stage and not walk any more...that way everyone else can go do what they want and such without getting stuck with her...
I have a friend that is almost that bad. Luckily for us she only comes out to Scarby with us once a year.
Ariel, it sounds like her sister insists on keeping them with her or "she feels ignored". I take it that she's single too. Maybe you can talk to her and see if you can trade off some weekends where you and your hubby go for some time with just the two of you.
Good luck.
I'd say, don't tell her no, but DO tell her, "this is our plan, you're welcome to work with the plan or not. If not, you need to figure out what you want to do all day and how you're going to get there if you don't want to arrive at the same time we do."
If it's an out of town trip, though, I'd be inclined to tell her she's welcome to make her own trip plans, but you and hubby making this be for the two of you.
(suddenly, I'm glad I don't have siblings)
Ugh, most of the time I wish my husband wouldn't come with. Not that he often does but those rare times that he does come along he complains and tries to NOT have a good time. I just need to find a "Faire" husband I think. ; ) if the bunny would just road and allow himself to have fun he totally would but he is just afraid to let that happen, I think.
Some people are just chronic bellyachers. I don't think they even realize it. My mom's that way; if she's not p!$$!ng and moaning about something, she's talking about her ailments. You can't even steer the subject to something else because she just keeps droning on and on... and on... I really don't think she has anything else to talk about, truthfully. Not something I want to listen to all day long, though, so we don't even tell her when we come to Scarby, and it's 10 minutes from her apartment.
Quote from: Tipsy Gypsy on October 22, 2010, 09:33:12 PM
Some people are just chronic bellyachers. I don't think they even realize it. My mom's that way; if she's not p!$$!ng and moaning about something, she's talking about her ailments. You can't even steer the subject to something else because she just keeps droning on and on... and on... I really don't think she has anything else to talk about, truthfully. Not something I want to listen to all day long, though, so we don't even tell her when we come to Scarby, and it's 10 minutes from her apartment.
+1
God, yes. Sadly, this time around at th KC renfest a few weekends ago, I found a friend who I will never ever invite to faire ever again. Though I tried as hard as I could to prevent it and ignore her, she almost ruined one of the happiest places in the world for me. I'm not a bitchy person typically, but don't try to bring me down at faire.
My boyfriend and I drove to Oklahoma for faire last spring as a little 'end of the school year' trip, just us 2. My friend apparently considered this rude that we didn't invite our whole group of friends. It was 6 hours away and we rented a hotel for 2 nights, not a trip just anyone can afford to make, not to mention it was our last weekend together for 3 months. But whatever. As in the past, I organized this years KC renfest trip between 10 or so friends. She refuses to drive because she doesn't know the way there, yet I knew she'd be the first one wanting to leave 2 hours after we get to faire, thats how it was last year. But fine, don't drive with your GPS or mapquest.
We get to faire, a day I wait all year for, and sure enough, it's too hot for her, we're walking too much, we're leaving her out of things, she can't beleive how much everything is, blah blah. She complains the entire time about being there when only a few months ago she was upset that my boyfriend and I didn't invite her to the OK renfest! What drove me over the edge was her saying she'll meet us at a certain spot and time and us waiting there for an HOUR for her to get across the faire grounds to us. Then when she finally shows up, she has to sit because she's tired. I had had enough and I went off and enjoyed my one day at faire to its fullest. She later told a friend of ours she doesn't like renfest anymore. More for me then! Inviting her is a mistake I won't soon forget.
*huff* sorry, this just happened like 2 weeks ago so it's still fresh. It's just, I don't go to faire but one or two weekends a year now, these are precious days and god help anyone who rains on them :P
Well thanks for the moral support at least. Maybe we can work something out before our next trip comes up.
Oh yeah, I will also NEVER invite my mother along to Faire ever again!
Coming a bit late to this thread, but I was just having a converstaion with a friend yesterday about people that always see the glass as half empty versus the half full folks. Perhaps your sister has fallen into that bad habit. She may not even realise how she comes across. If you are at all close and do want her to continue to join you at faire, then have a chat with her about how she appears to be so negative. Tell her that you want to be with her, but that it brings you down and ask her to make an effort to be more positive and supportive of something you love. I've had talks like this with a loved one or two and I've had friends remind me also when I get negative about some experince. Hopefully she'll appreciate that you care enough to try.
In my single days, after my first year in garb, I never attended faire with anyone, even if it meant I was going through that gate without an entourage. Granted, it takes a certain amount of courage to go it alone but if one of your companions (or yourself) was sick, hot, cranky, etc., you were free to go without any drama or guilt; this is especially true if your companions have children.
Now that I have married I no longer attend alone, but still only very rarely with family other than my spouse. The few times we have brought family, we always had to leave early, which we hate doing.
Quote from: Rowen MacD on October 25, 2010, 12:16:08 PM
The few times we have brought family, we always had to leave early, which we hate doing.
I'm with you there, Rowen. When I attend faire, I'm there from before the gate opens 'til they kick me out after the pub sing. Every time I've gone with people, they either don't want to "start so early" or they say they've had enough and want to leave before it's over.
So, without really making a conscious decision about it, I've started going by myself and making my own choices about where to go, what to see, etc. I'm happy to meet up with people there, I just don't make plans to go around together. For me, it works much better and I enjoy my time at faire a lot more.
Quote from: LadyFae on October 25, 2010, 10:06:29 AM
Oh yeah, I will also NEVER invite my mother along to Faire ever again!
I know what you mean... It would be my guess that the Black Plague would be more welcome at faire than my dear old mum! I love her dearly, but...
Every year at TRF we have to go to shows with certain people. It was a tradition but half of them aren't going this year. The plan is to just grab those of us that are faire nuts and see how many shows and shops we can visit in one day and when we get hungry we will eat, if you dont' like where we stop. This is where we will be for 30 minutes go find your own stuff. If you don't like what we are doing go find it yourself. I love going to faire with my DH because we are both faire nuts, but going with this one couple of ours...::shutters:: One of the worst TRF days I have ever had, and this includes the weekend all it was freezing rain and ice.
Quote from: Bob of the Lake on October 25, 2010, 12:42:55 PM
Quote from: Rowen MacD on October 25, 2010, 12:16:08 PM
The few times we have brought family, we always had to leave early, which we hate doing.
I'm with you there, Rowen. When I attend faire, I'm there from before the gate opens 'til they kick me out after the pub sing. Every time I've gone with people, they either don't want to "start so early" or they say they've had enough and want to leave before it's over.
So, without really making a conscious decision about it, I've started going by myself and making my own choices about where to go, what to see, etc. I'm happy to meet up with people there, I just don't make plans to go around together. For me, it works much better and I enjoy my time at faire a lot more.
I have been independent for too long I guess. I truly dislike waiting on someone else's whim on whether we go, stay or what we will do. So....I don't! Doesn't make me any less social, and makes me a whole lot happier.
I like going by myself, too. It seems like whenever I go with friends, they always want to leave by the end of the day. Luckily, I am usually the driver, so if I don't want to leave yet, I won't.
I think I really learned my lesson when I went to Scarby - granted, it was terrible weather, and we had a 4 hr drive home ahead of us, but my friends were tired of being there after less than 5 hours. So I never really got a chance to experience the whole faire.
So hopefully, taking some of my friends to the Lady of the Lakes faire won't be a mistake...
spam reported
...and in such an appropriate thread! :D
spam removed!
Too bad I missed it! ;D
My son's girlfriend! She agrees to come, and then has so little fun that she is ready to leave almost immediately.
My wife doesn't enjoy it as much as me, so she only accompanies me a couple of times. That is just fine! She doesn't mind me going, and I have fun with whomever I'm with! Also, I am able to scout out the shows I think she'll like, so that we can go to them when she does come!
Now, my son's gf is different. We brought her to the Feaste of Fooles this year. Although we told her it started at 1:00, when the day came, she stated she thought she was gonna be picked up at 1:00 (the fair site is like 45 min away!). We worked it out, and my son and she got there about 12:45. Cool. Then, when it was over at 3:30, she NEEDED to leave! She had to work at 5:00! That's why we told her about it 3 weeks in advance! I personally confirmed she was coming 3 weeks in advance, and reminded her to request the day off from work.
Oh well! Gotta love the kids!
Life is too short to be with people whose company you don't enjoy.
I'm so glad my Nimue loves faire as much as I...maybe more.
Quote from: Welsh Wench on October 26, 2010, 01:46:21 PM
Life is too short to be with people whose company you don't enjoy.
Agreed! There are people AT faire I tend to avoid because they bring me down and make me want to leave.
I'm lucky to have such an amazing group of Fairemily Friends and such a fantastic cast at my home faire that I never feel like I'm there alone, even if I show up solo!
My mundane friends that you know will never become rennies. I love em and love spending time with them else where. But at fair I feel stuck and can't do what I want.
I'm just glad that this year at TRF we dont' have any newbies except one person who is just a rennie from a different faire. No worries about dragging her around. Besides if she doesnt' want to go, then we will just wander off and find more mead for ourselves. :)
I am determined to see more shows, more people, and less of shops than I have in the past.
My lady and I go for ourselves. We have NO ONE riding with us. We always tell any potential kling-ons that we will meet them there and if they show fine if they don't that's o.k. to. We ourselves come and go as we please simply to avoid all of the problems detailed herein.
My sister in law... My brother and my nephews and my brother are great, but my sister in law is a born again Christian, and is very (VERY!!) closed minded. I portray a Scottish Highlander persona, and all she does all day is make snide comments about men in skirts and cross dressers. The fact that the kilt is not and never has been a woman's garment is not at all relevant to her prejudice. Her son dresses up like a pirate- Uncle Nighthawk has helped him put together his garb- and that is bad enough, but me in a kilt? Wow... I'm hellbound for sure!! And then there's the fact that most Rennies seem to be pagan... Gives her even more to nag about than just all the cross dressing kilt wearers!
-snort-
cross dressing kilt wearers!
I honestly thought that Christian Right thing about kilts being gay was a sarcastic hoax.
You can't imagine! I've a sis-in-law who won't read or watch Harry Potter because of the witches thing. We've kept quiet about the fact that we are a Wiccan and Druid leaning couple...
Quote from: Nighthawk on November 04, 2010, 09:10:27 AM
...and all she does all day is make snide comments about men in skirts and cross dressers. The fact that the kilt is not and never has been a woman's garment is not at all relevant to her prejudice. .... Gives her even more to nag about than just all the cross dressing kilt wearers!
I she ever wears a plaid skirt, call her a cross-dresser for wearing a kilt!!! :)
Sounds more to me like someone is not comfortable in there own skin and has issues with their own sexuality.
Quote from: DonaCatalina on November 04, 2010, 09:19:50 AM
-snort-
cross dressing kilt wearers!
I honestly thought that Christian Right thing about kilts being gay was a sarcastic hoax.
Sadly, no. I went to her church once, just to mess with her (my dad and I make a game out of driving her nuts!) and I got mostly compliments from everyone except for her and a few others. There are a few nutjobs out there... and my brother married one! Truth is, most of the time, she's really cool to be around. Every so often God comes out, though.
Quote from: Merlin the Elder on November 04, 2010, 09:33:05 AM
You can't imagine! I've a sis-in-law who won't read or watch Harry Potter because of the witches thing. We've kept quiet about the fact that we are a Wiccan and Druid leaning couple...
Oh no- I can imagine! My sis in law is the same way. My car brakes down and she tell me that God is punishing me. Sure, I neglected having my transmission serviced for 150k miles... but that had nothin' to do with nothin'...
Quote from: Kate on November 04, 2010, 09:55:24 AM
Quote from: Nighthawk on November 04, 2010, 09:10:27 AM
...and all she does all day is make snide comments about men in skirts and cross dressers. The fact that the kilt is not and never has been a woman's garment is not at all relevant to her prejudice. .... Gives her even more to nag about than just all the cross dressing kilt wearers!
I she ever wears a plaid skirt, call her a cross-dresser for wearing a kilt!!! :)
I made the agruement that she wears pants. She said "But these are women's pants!" To which I replied that pants are mens clothes, so if women can wear them, doesn't that mean that her husband is wearing womens clothes? And then I asked her why I never see paintings of Jesus wearing pants. Neither one of those amused her in the least...
Quote from: angusmacinnes on November 04, 2010, 10:21:50 AM
Sounds more to me like someone is not comfortable in there own skin and has issues with their own sexuality.
Angus... You have no idea! (http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_lol.gif) Or maybe you do...
Quote from: Nighthawk on November 04, 2010, 03:50:04 PM
Sadly, no. I went to her church once, just to mess with her (my dad and I make a game out of driving her nuts!) and I got mostly compliments from everyone except for her and a few others. There are a few nutjobs out there... and my brother married one! Truth is, most of the time, she's really cool to be around. Every so often God comes out, though.
Trust me, that's not God coming out. ::)
Some people just put up a religious defense so they don't have to experience life.
Ironically enough, my mom, who took me to Faires, has some how reverted. Especially ever since she started teaching at this Christian school (some of the most UN-Christian people I have ever met!!!!!!). She told me the other day that Henna was a pagan devil symbol! :o
Quote from: Dinobabe on November 05, 2010, 09:45:14 AM
Trust me, that's not God coming out. ::)
Some people just put up a religious defense so they don't have to experience life.
Ironically enough, my mom, who took me to Faires, has some how reverted. Especially ever since she started teaching at this Christian school (some of the most UN-Christian people I have ever met!!!!!!). She told me the other day that Henna was a pagan devil symbol! :o
Catholics call it justification- using God to justify bad behavior.
I'm a recovering Catholic... It isn't just Catholics. Thank God I'm Atheist now...
Wiccans are witches who put bad spells on people.
Pagans are a bunch of tree-hugging, tree-loving nuts.
Christians are a bunch of right wing, narrow-minded hateful idiots.
Muslims are trying to destroy the world and anyone who is not Muslim.
Yeah, you can generalize about anything and make ridiculous comments like the ones above. One size does not fit all. So why bash anybody? That's not what this thread is about. It's about people that you took to faire and wish you hadn't. What their religion, sexual orientation, race, gender, or whatever, doesn't - and shouldn't - come into it.
Why doesn't everybody get back on topic? If you need to have discussions, then use private messaging.
Pardon my post Lady Buchanan, after your first rate response, but I was raised in a Roman Catholic family, and find nothing wrong with faire, even grew up playing D&D. Questions of Faith lay were your heart is, not where you're standing.
From the offices of the original "Cross Dressers"!
(http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii245/Warrior_Monk/BigThree.jpg)
Ahhhhhhh, I am 'glad' to see, I am not the only one who wishes people wouldn't go to faire with them!
A friend went this year and all she wanted to do was sit, complained about the food, and when I saw people I knew, she felt it was rude of me, to introduce her to them! ??? What should I of done? She is standing beside me......
I gave her a complete outfit to wear...actually gave it to her! I never wore it, but she said she'd love to have an outfit for faire. Guess what? She never wore it! Said it was too hot. It is a real light cotton, flowey as all get out, not clingy at all.
Needless to say, I did tell her, I wasn't going to faire, when I was able to go. Had to 'white-lie' about it. :P
Quote from: irish on November 07, 2010, 09:36:26 AM
Ahhhhhhh, I am 'glad' to see, I am not the only one who wishes people wouldn't go to faire with them!
A friend went this year and all she wanted to do was sit, complained about the food, and when I saw people I knew, she felt it was rude of me, to introduce her to them! ??? What should I of done? She is standing beside me......
I gave her a complete outfit to wear...actually gave it to her! I never wore it, but she said she'd love to have an outfit for faire. Guess what? She never wore it! Said it was too hot. It is a real light cotton, flowey as all get out, not clingy at all.
Needless to say, I did tell her, I wasn't going to faire, when I was able to go. Had to 'white-lie' about it. :P
*scratches head* Um, how is it rude to be introduced to people? I thought it was rude when you
didn't introduce a friend to another group of friends, especially when they're all standing in the same spot.
I'm grateful that I've never had to deal with a naysayer of the faire at the faire. I hear it sometimes from my step-dad, but he never asks to go and doesn't make too much of a fuss. I think he just doesn't get it but he'd rather see me happy than understand me.
However, I do have friends who love the faire but don't want to spend all day or weekend there – or they can't because of money issues, homework, family stuff, jobs, etc. When I try to get my friends to go on one weekend, I tell them that I'll drive however many I can fit into my car but I'm planning to stay there the entire day. If they want to duck out early or show up late, they've got to find their own form of transport. I also tell them the one big thing that I want to do that day – we go to the NoCal RF, so it's usually seeing the Moonie and Broon show at five – that way they know that I'm not budging on that fact. Of course, I never ask anyone to stick with me if they're not having fun.
Tabitha, I agree with the advice given before, you should talk to her about her negative attitude. But to add to that, next time you guys go to the faire, let her know beforehand what you're planning for that day and ask her if there's anything she wants to do that day. By asking for her input, you're including her in your plans, and by telling her that you have certain things you're going to do, it'll let her know that it won't be centered on what she wants.
What I don't get is why she insists on coming along if she's only going to complain. Does she do that elsewhere? Is that just her? Because if this really only happens at the Ren Faire, then maybe she goes along with you so she can spend time with you. *shrugs* I don't know enough about her, obviously, but if that might be the case, then maybe set up a time and place where you two can do something you mutually enjoy.
Yea in her mind........lol.......to be introduced to people she would never meet again, was rude and she felt it made the people I introduced her to, uneasy. WTH? LMAO!
Quote from: irish on November 07, 2010, 08:01:55 PM
Yea in her mind........lol.......to be introduced to people she would never meet again, was rude and she felt it made the people I introduced her to, uneasy. WTH? LMAO!
Wow. . . I wish I had something useful to reply to that, but I'm dumbfounded.
Oh, I know! She must be a psychic! How else can she know she's never going to see these people again? She's amazing! See if she can get the Lotto numbers for next week! (Sorry, that was a bit harsh. I'm still very confused by her. I mean, even if she never sees them again, it's not like a one-day meeting can't be meaningful or fun. I think you summed it up perfectly with WTH? XD)
Quote from: Nighthawk on November 04, 2010, 09:10:27 AM
My sister in law... My brother and my nephews and my brother are great, but my sister in law is a born again Christian, and is very (VERY!!) closed minded. I portray a Scottish Highlander persona, and all she does all day is make snide comments about men in skirts and cross dressers. The fact that the kilt is not and never has been a woman's garment is not at all relevant to her prejudice. Her son dresses up like a pirate- Uncle Nighthawk has helped him put together his garb- and that is bad enough, but me in a kilt? Wow... I'm hellbound for sure!! And then there's the fact that most Rennies seem to be pagan... Gives her even more to nag about than just all the cross dressing kilt wearers!
Here's a little advice on that
http://www.kiltmen.com/bible.htm
Quote from: Lady Renee Buchanan on November 07, 2010, 07:24:18 AM
Wiccans are witches who put bad spells on people.
Pagans are a bunch of tree-hugging, tree-loving nuts.
Christians are a bunch of right wing, narrow-minded hateful idiots.
Muslims are trying to destroy the world and anyone who is not Muslim.
Yeah, you can generalize about anything and make ridiculous comments like the ones above. One size does not fit all. So why bash anybody? That's not what this thread is about. It's about people that you took to faire and wish you hadn't. What their religion, sexual orientation, race, gender, or whatever, doesn't - and shouldn't - come into it.
Why doesn't everybody get back on topic? If you need to have discussions, then use private messaging.
(http://www.djtechtools.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/bush_04_06_2004_head_scratch.jpg) Huh?
So people I wish hadn't come to faire with me... My 14 year old daughter and her friend Julia. Last time I took them, they went into our costuming tent, tried everything on, decided they liked nothing, put nothing away, left the tent a mess, and then spent the day griping about being bored!! (http://mikemiller.net/img/stickman_banging_head_against_wall.gif)
I am pretty picky about who I even invite to go to Scarby with me. They know that my car WILL be in the parking lot at least an hour before cannon, and that, unless there is a MEDICAL reason to leave early, I am staying until closing. If they don't like that, I will gladly meet them at the gate. Most of my friends who are interested in faire but aren't really rennies would rather meet me out there somewhere. They know I have specific things that I prefer to do, and that while I'm willing to show them around, they are grown, and perfectly capable of going on walkabout if they don't want to sit through whatever show I'm watching or whatever.
There are a few people I would just as soon not spend time with, and I don't have trouble avoiding them, for the most part. Faire is my happy place, so I'm not going to let someone else ruin my happy place if I can avoid it.
We had a couple people who it was their first time, who couldn't understand the draw we had to certain shows. Add in that they were trying to deal with cranky baby and such. Ended up we all agreed we would each do what we wanted and had a place we would meet up at. They saw what they wanted and we got to run all over the faire like we wanted. Make us much happier that way.
Your sister probably did have a good time. It's just that some types are critical people. It's not their intention to ruin it for others, but it's just their nature. Such people find jobs as auditors, doctors, or inspectors.