We've been going to our local Faire for about 4 years now, 2 as season pass holders. Our kids know the faire very well & I've felt comfortable letting them wander a ways here or there as long as I can see them.
Our oldest, who would be 11 at the time of Faire, has asked to be able to walk around by himself for a few hours next year. On the one hand, I feel he's pretty safe at Faire & we would give him a cell phone & we would tell him what to say if he is truly in trouble. On the other hand, I'm his mom & I worry.
So, if you were a kid at Faire, when were you allowed to go by yourself. If you're a parent, when did you let your kid walk around by themselves. Thanks in advance!
honestly...as someone who just turned 18...
I had a lot more fun when I wasn't restricted to being with my mom. This is mostly due to the fact I had my best friend with me. While my mom got to see what she wanted to see, my friend and I could wander around and do what we wanted. My mom just made arrangements that we met her at so-and-so place towards the end of the day. We would start off the morning with her, and within an hour or so of lets-keep-the-family-together, wed go our seperate ways
And also, faire in general is a really safe place.
I had the same concerns myself not so very long ago. My kids are in their upper-teens now and allowed to run the faire on their own, but a few years ago it was a different story. I finally realized that our entire faire is fenced in, with only one way in or out. There was no way anyone was going to take off with one of my kids. I started out giving them little freedoms and built up from there. For example - "I'm planning on being in this area for the next two hours. You can go anywhere you wish on this level of faire, but check in with me once per hour." (Our home faire is sort of divided into an upper and lower section.) As long as I could turn around and spot them within a matter of moments, and provided they reported in on a frequent basis, they earned more freedom the next time we went. If they screwed up and "forgot" to check in as requested, they were miserable the next time we went 'cuz they had to stay with me all day. It only took one time of finding out that I really would follow through and make them stay by my side all day for them to realize that it just wasn't worth the risk the next time. This lesson carried over into the mundane world, as well.
Only you know whether or not your child is ready to roam free. You will never actually be ready to let them... it's a Mom thing. Just start feeding the rope out a little at a time and see what happens.
Good Luck!
A/O
* I should mention that our home faire is what I would consider a mid-sized faire. Not the smallest I've ever seen, but also not one of the really big ones either. *
I went to my first faire when I was 13, but it was extremely small.
The first time I was at a larger fair and actually went off on my own, I was 17. It really is a very different experience than following your parents around. You get the opportunity to meet people, dwell where you want, see shows that interest you, etc.
I usually make a point to find my parents at least three times during faire, not including arrival and departure, I have a cell, but usually have it on silent and check it every hour or so, in case. I usually try to notify them if I'm making plans on leaving faire grounds to get *CHEAPER* food.
All in all, 11 seems a little to young to me to be wandering around at faire alone. If your son has a friend or two to bring, that wouldn't be so bad. But if it's only a few hours; why not? Just make sure he gives you a general idea of the areas he plans on frequenting.
A lot depends on the maturity of the child. My oldest was always wise beyond her years and level headed so she had more freedom at a younger age than her siblings. With my son I was more concerned about what kind of mischief he would get into than anything bad happening to him. My youngest is much less mature than most 16 year olds becasue of her disabilities so this is the first year she has been allowed to experience faire apart from us but with a friend in tow. I'm still not comfortable letting her go off on her own. That being said...
I would probably let an 11 year old wander a small faire with a friend. I wouldn't let him wander off alone and I probably wouldn't let him wander a large faire even with a friend.
I guess I should consider myself lucky, because my kids, 13 yr.old girl, and 11yr. old boy have never asked to go out on their own yet. They still love hanging out with me at our faire! We'd probably end up in the same places anyway! When the time comes that they do want to wander on there own, I won't have any problem letting them. I feel safer at our faire (MDRF) than I do the local mall, and I let my daughter wander the mall with friends all the time. Besides, I'm sure other wonderful folks I know there will help keep an eye on em if need be!
I was 12 the first time I went to faire, it was for a middle school field trip. I was let loose, at TRF of all places. I managed to do ok, but then again, my mother had been letting us go to Astroworld over the summer by ourselves since I was 11. We did a lot of things alone when I was younger...
I'm going to let my 15 daughter do her first walk-a-bouts on her own at a smaller fairs this year. She's a newbie to fair so I've been walking with her until now. To be honest, she was in no hurry to go solo (as I was the more 'experienced' rennie) and she wasn't sure how to act or respond to others in garb. But she will have friends with her and I've arranged for a Rennie her own age to hang out with her for the first one.
Larger faires will probably not be an option for now. I know there is usually only one way in, but stores are pretty secure too and kids still managed to get snatched from there. I guess I'm still a bit too protective. My baby bird will probably fly just fine, but this Mama bird just isn't ready yet.
At the big faire we go to I think you have to be 16 to wander "alone". We have let our daughter wander with a cell phone or walkie talkie and only once has she been asked to find us or we have had to come get her. She is 14 and half now. She dresses in garb but staff still ask her not to wander. I think it depends who is working etc. My daughter knows the area pretty good. She knows how to get a hold of us and we have meeting spots. If they arent causing trouble I see no reason not to let them. Mine usually brings a friend or some friends of ours have a girl about the same age that they have hung together. So I guess in my opinion if they know the area, have a way of getting a hold of you and are familair with the fair then go for it.
I finally let my granddaughter, who is 11, wander the faire this year. She had my niece, age 12, with her and they had cellphones. I made them check in with me every hour.
They were in garb, this was my niece's first time at faire and she was garbed. I ran into them a few times, I knew they were shopping and going down to see a friend's grandson who was working a booth.
My granddaughter had been doing the faire since she was four so she knew the grounds pretty well.
As long as you have enough people they can contact, you have a cellphone and so do they and they check in EVERY HOUR, they are NOT alone...
Then I would say that is a big step to raising a Rennie. :)
They will enjoy the Ren-experience more and so will you not having to deal with the constant eye-rolls!
Ironically they didn't have to check in very often as I kept running into them!
We have let the kidlets wander around with just each other or in their pack of fest kids for about 2 or 3 years now. The circle of where they are allowed on their own has gotten larger as they have gotten older. This year they will be 15 and 11. They both have walkie-talkies in their pouches as well as cell phones. Since we work the beer booths and the kids are known by all the other beer booth workers, we get reports on their behavior rather quickly. Once last year a man was following them around faire and they got scooped into one of the other beer stands and questioned about him. Security also ended up involved momentarily until I got over there and verified that "Yes, that is their uncle...he just looks creepy." All in all I feel safe letting the kids walk on their own at faire...I have eyes everywhere! If they even think of acting up, they get the stink-eye from a pub tender.
Have them invite a friend..........(make sure it's OK with the parent of the other friend).. two is safer than one.
Tell them you are going to call them occasionally and check in on them and they had better answer or no deal. (phone on vibrate during a show) or text them instead.
Have them meet you for lunch at a specific time and place. It gives them the opportunity to show you they are responsible, if they can't figure out how to watch a clock and arrive at a specific location and requested time. Then they don't need to be wandering alone. There is responsibility in maturity.
I always have a "simple restriction or goal" . When they meet it if gives me great joy.
When they meet your challenge... tell them how right they were, that they were ready to "go it alone" and you didn't realize it. It will make them very happy....
They will have a blast.
As a cast member of my local Faire, I'm very comfortable saying that those who attend a faire at our level (when I say this, I mean Rennies), have very Faire-minded children. My reccomendation is simply what everyone else is saying, turn them loose with a couple of friends, a watch, and an agreed meeting place/time.
Our Faire has Fairies that run loose from the ages of 6 to 36 and they like to grab kids and bring them back to the central point, our Wishing Well. This is also generally a regrouping location, and I've oft seen packs of three or four 8-10 year olds checking the cell phone for mom calling. However, my general issue with letting the little ones loose with just a celly is that many Faire locations have little to no signal considering how "out of the way" many large locations are. But it is a good idea all around!
Good luck!
My children were raised as Renbrats. From age 10 or so on, they have always been allowed to roam at faires where we work and play, but not singly, only in groups of 2 or more (more being better). Even the teenagers were always told to have a buddy along - while there are no particular abduction fears, most mid-teen females in garb are at risk of being 'hit on' by drunk patrons who have no clue about their underage status, and it is much easier to avoid or fend off one of those if the teens are in groups (especially if at least one of the group is carrying a staff - they don't need to use it, just carry it with purpose).
We used cell phones and texting for communications when available - some faire sites have limited cell coverage (as a lot of vendors can attest), so you work with what you have. At the very least, call for a check-in every two hours, perhaps at a particular stage or booth. Make certain that they all know where or who the security people are, and, if in a working faire situation, that they know the correct 'call for help' phrase for that faire.
The other thing to do is to remind the younglings about appropriate behavior - no talking or yelling in or immediately around active stage shows, no horseplay or stupid behavior in the shops, watch your 'circle' (the area you and your garb occupy - fairy wings in a pottery shop still make me flinch), and use your manners, notably "excuse me", "please" and "thank you". If more parents offered these reminders on a daily basis, there would be no reason for faires to limit or restrict younger patrons.
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Lady Niniane
Queen's Gambit (http://www.queens-gambit.com) - I'm the fiddler
Hmm, what a good subject. I never really had a problem with my kids at faire - it is like home to them really, they have been going since they were but wee ones. It is a lot easier now because they work there ;D
It may very well depend on the age and the maturity level. Last summer we let our 13 year-old wander at will at the Bristol Faire, meeting at certain times and places based on what shows we were all interested in seeing. My then eight-year-old daughter stayed pretty close to Mom, but she would play in the kids area or with the Fairies while Mom relaxed on a bench close by.
On the other hand, I've seen kids, mostly teens but sometimes younger, left on their own and determined to use that as an excuse to stir up trouble. One of my cast members at Bristol a couple of years ago was assaulted by gals probably no more than 13 or 14, who thought it great fun to "kick the peasant." Fortunately, security was close by and got them backstage for a less-than-happy reunion with their parents. Some kids - and adults - should not be allowed out of doors without a leash!
As a patron I started letting the kids wander by themselves at age 12; but even then we were well known by the vendors, actors, etc - so they (and I) knew that they really weren't "alone" - just out of my sight for a while.
And various faire kids have discovered to their dismay just how many "parents" they have when they've crossed a line....*grin*
Now my great-nieces come to visit my booth - sometimes quite a ways ahead of their baby-sitter; and sometimes patrons are a little shocked at the wee ones who are apparently roaming alone. But they are NEVER (and I mean NEVER, EVER) out of sight of someone who is looking after their best interest. Of course, they are beautiful, talented and bright and virtually everyone on site has known and watched them from infancy . . .
Quote from: LadyNiniane on June 12, 2008, 10:32:46 AM
My children were raised as Renbrats. From age 10 or so on, they have always been allowed to roam at faires where we work and play, but not singly, only in groups of 2 or more (more being better). Even the teenagers were always told to have a buddy along - while there are no particular abduction fears, most mid-teen females in garb are at risk of being 'hit on' by drunk patrons who have no clue about their underage status, and it is much easier to avoid or fend off one of those if the teens are in groups (especially if at least one of the group is carrying a staff - they don't need to use it, just carry it with purpose).
Both at faires and at SCA events, I've seen a number of teen-ladies wearing sashes the state in bright red letters "Jail Bait" to help keep the drunken advances away.
Quote from: cowgrrl on June 09, 2008, 09:12:09 PM
We've been going to our local Faire for about 4 years now, 2 as season pass holders. Our kids know the faire very well & I've felt comfortable letting them wander a ways here or there as long as I can see them.
Our oldest, who would be 11 at the time of Faire, has asked to be able to walk around by himself for a few hours next year. On the one hand, I feel he's pretty safe at Faire & we would give him a cell phone & we would tell him what to say if he is truly in trouble. On the other hand, I'm his mom & I worry.
So, if you were a kid at Faire, when were you allowed to go by yourself. If you're a parent, when did you let your kid walk around by themselves. Thanks in advance!
I have it easy.
My daughter's 19... she's allowed to go where she pleases, obviously.
My son's 7... he's by my side all the time.
Since our MN group is very active, most of the people know our children by site, at least (they may not remember their names). I also took the kids around to show them the R/F people at their boothes, and where they can go for help if needed. They all have "business cards" with a variety of cell numbers, (mom, dad, friends at faire) so even if they can't get in touch with me, they can check in with someone from our group.
It helps having a few extra pairs of eyes around so they know that Mom would get a call if anything happened. However I have complete confidence in my children's behaviour. I know they will behave respectfully, tip at shows, and use extreme care when going into shops.
Plus, for our group, there is almost always someone at Mac's Pub. That's the first place my kids would go!
In Mundane Topics, there is a post now about somebody on America's Most Wanted that may like to frequent faires, so you might want to keep a pretty close eye. We hate to think that people like that are out there, but they are.
That said, I went to Scarborough Faire for the first time with my high school band at the age of 14. We had to travel in groups of at least three. That way if something happened like an injury, one friend can go get help, and another stays with the injured. We had that system in band on any trips we had. I never had any problems with creepy people for the 3 years we got to go. We had a few check in times throughout the day. If we were not on time, we had to stay with the band director the rest of the time. I would highly recommend a group system.
I started a thread on the Rogues' Guild forum about that guy and others... I think it's a good idea for all of us to be armed with the ability to recognize potential threats... those who have been arrested or ejected for violent acts, particularly against children.
I know I've gotten a few pictures of people that, if seen, will be reported to Security immediately.
For the first couple of years she attended faire, our daughter was ONLY allowed to be with mom. In the two years, she has been allowed to wander on her own, and has had to check in with either mom or I at specific times, if she did not check in, she was stuck back with mom since I really am unable to watch her while at the booth.
Most of the regulars know her and know who she belongs to so we have a good number of pairs of eyes out there as well. It gives her some freedom and still allows for us to keep some semblance of control over her activities.
I let my 13 yr old daughter wait in line at Scarborough to do the rock climbing, she loves that. While we went to go and check out a vendor, we weren't gone very long.
All went fine, it does depend on maturity, being able to talk to your kids about life, its not friendly at times. She is aware. I always tell her to be careful, etc. She also has a cell phone, which I am glad she has. We mainly hang out together, watching the shows, and spending quality time together! We have a great time.
Faire isn't really any different than things like the state or county fair, or even the mall. Crowds, shops,and such are everywhere. If you feel your kid can handle him/her self, make arrangements to keep touch and meetup points and times, and let'em loose. If they stick around you, great. Granted, I've got a good nine to ten years or so to change my mind on this....
I'd say around 10 ish, maybe a little older. But you have to figure in the kids behavior, and even size, so its different for everyone.
I couldn't help but respond to this thread, any of you who attend Scarborough please advise your kids if they become lost or need help, they only need to go to a food or drink booth or even the dungeon for that matter. All are on a radio communication network that can contact security or first aid. The people who work these places are instructed on how to contact the proper personal to assist our patrons. Even when I'm away from the dungeon I am in constant radio contact. So the big scary guy in the skeleton armour is there to help if needed.
I agree when it's said it depends on the maturity level of the kid, but one of the great things about having a family in faire (whether it be actual family or people you've grown close to) is that no matter what there will be someone looking after you. I remember one of the first years I worked for a faire there was a creepy patorn guy that kept bugging me and my mom was on the other side of the shire, but my family was so close to the people in the faire that someone was right there to help me get out of that situation and look after me.
However, if you know you have a child that is a bit hyper or doesn't know what to do, I think it's a good idea to keep them in sight or keep them beside you.
I <3 Faire
This whole thread, and the fear of lost children brings to mind the incident at RENdezvous this year. A small child was lost, the parents freaked out and asked the first person in garb they saw. That just happened to be one of our own, and within 6 minutes, the child was found by an RFer. And what is most disturbing is that the playtrons (us) were more concerned than the actual "Security" personnel. The cast helped as best they could, but the most active searchers were the RFers who started the relay call around the faire. So, I guess, just hope than at least 5 RFer's are on site at any time, since we can find a kid!
My oldest is 7. I think when he's 11, he'll be allowed to walk around by himself. There are a few factors though - He has been going to faire since he was born (my first time was when I was pregnant with him), and now-a-days, it wouldn't be too awkward for a young kid to have a cell with him or heck even a walkie talkie. I would definitely give him one or the other. Also, we have many, many friends at the faire, many of those friends work at the faire. so, as he walks around, it would kind of be like he has an extra set of eyes on him (of course, I mean that in a GOOD way!). He's a good kid, I know if I told him "meet me at this place at this time", he would. so, as long as he holds that same respect in 4 years, he can have at it!
Quote from: CaraGreenleaf on September 17, 2008, 05:07:14 PM
This whole thread, and the fear of lost children brings to mind the incident at RENdezvous this year. A small child was lost, the parents freaked out and asked the first person in garb they saw. That just happened to be one of our own, and within 6 minutes, the child was found by an RFer. And what is most disturbing is that the playtrons (us) were more concerned than the actual "Security" personnel. The cast helped as best they could, but the most active searchers were the RFers who started the relay call around the faire. So, I guess, just hope than at least 5 RFer's are on site at any time, since we can find a kid!
We found this little boy, walking around crying. I stayed with him while my friend got security. He was only 5, and ironically, had the same name as my son. His mom showed up pretty quick. I guess he had just wondered in the opposite direction as her.
Would that my 13 yr old & friends wanted to be somewhere that wasn't three feet from his mum's skirts.
Enjoy it while I've got it, as much as I can. Won't last forever.
K -
When the squire was but a toddler, his very wise daycare sitter advised that the child must be able to respond correctly, without hesitation, with the answers to those safety & behavior questions (what do you do if this, who do you call when that) otherwise - it is known as child endangerment to allow said child on their own.
Spanking good advice, says I.
The first time I was went to a Faire and was without a parent walking around with me, was when I was 13, but I had my best friend with me at the time also I had a cell phone and my parents and hers were at the Faire with us. I was 14 when I was able to wander by myself with no one else accompanying me, but again, I still had my cell phone and my parents were at the Faire. I was 15 when I was allowed to go to the Faire alone without my parents, but even then, I had a cell phone and friends accompanying me.
It is really up to you and how you think your kid will respond, but like so many had said before, I strongly recommend your son bring a friend (it is more fun that way) and have a walkie-talkie or a cell phone. I would have him call every hour, and meet up every 2 hours...
But, do not do what is out of your comfort zone, because I think your son will feel better knowing that you are comfortable with this freedom.
Quote from: MMario on June 12, 2008, 01:45:27 PM
As a patron I started letting the kids wander by themselves at age 12; but even then we were well known by the vendors, actors, etc - so they (and I) knew that they really weren't "alone" - just out of my sight for a while.
And various faire kids have discovered to their dismay just how many "parents" they have when they've crossed a line....*grin*
Now my great-nieces come to visit my booth - sometimes quite a ways ahead of their baby-sitter; and sometimes patrons are a little shocked at the wee ones who are apparently roaming alone. But they are NEVER (and I mean NEVER, EVER) out of sight of someone who is looking after their best interest. Of course, they are beautiful, talented and bright and virtually everyone on site has known and watched them from infancy . . .
I would have to agree with MMario, I thought Fair for my first time was very family friendly and very safe environment. I, and as well as other kids in the 70's were aloud to run around the amusement parks by our selves for brief times. But we always had a meeting place every so often. And those are, I would guess, bigger than most Ren Faires and more dangerous.
I also agree it depends on the maturity of each child. I think that plays a big factor. I am not a parent myself but have been told I would have made a good dad :o
Just a word of caution -- one does not need to EXIT a faire (or a store or anywhere else for that matter) to harm a child. So abduction isn't the only concern. Some of our faires are wooded or have other nooks and crannies into which to drag or lure a youngling. Children are suceptible to fondling, flashing (although at faires -- well, if it's out ALL the time, is it flashing?), and other actions that take only moments. (Yes, I know, but even paranoid people have enmies.) That said, I have a 10 year old and a 4 year old who have been at TRF since they were wee. We don't let either of them go unaccompanied anywhere. At Scarby this spring, we did let them play on the playground while we shopped along the way in that line of sight. I kept visual check every two or three minutes (I know, paranoia will destroy ya). In a couple of years I can see letting the oldest (and a friend or two) THINK they are on their own. I just love the "stalking uncle." I had one of those myself. What fun to discover he had been lurking about, hiding behind trees and popping around corners for years without us catching on!
This is a topic that strikes particularly close to home for me. I'm a very lucky man. My wife and two boys love faire and garb as much as I do. We've been attending for some years now and my answer is that it depends on the faire. Our home faire away from home faire is VARF. It is very intimate and because we have been attending for a number of years in garb many cast and vendors have come to recognize us. Starting 2 years ago when he was 9 we let our oldest sit and play the pirate game alone while we wondered with his little brother. This past year at 11 he had full freedom if he wished. Mind you between cast, vendors and the M'Crack invasion he couldn't go more than a few feet without someone recognizing him.
Our home faire MDRF has been a different story. It's one of the largest in the country and incredibly crowed. It was only this season that he was granted limited freedom. He was allowed to go by himself to a food vendor then come right back to where we were sitting. He was also allowed to play a couple of games by himself while I watched Medieval Babes. Each time he wasn't far away and had to come right back to check in before leaving again. Next year he'll be granted more liberty at MDRF.
When traveling to other faires that we aren't as familiar with he stays with the family.
Limited freedom for the eleven year old. He knows the faire well and carries a cell phone in his sock, so he's findable. Also, since I work there and he was there a lot, many of the vendors (MiRF) and cast as well as security knew him. I absolutely trust them with lost kids. They are amazing. He knows when to get out of a situation, so I can trust him to run off to ride the horse, while I work lanes.
That said, he is only allowed to be away twenty minutes at a time.
We allowed our two girls (13 & 10 at the time) to walk around together at our Faire. As you stated, we had been going for years by that time and knew a lot of the performers/vendors/friends. They have a cell they carry at Faire and know what places to go if things get weird. They really enjoyed walking around.
We let our youngest two (boy 8 and girl 12) sit at a few shows by themselves this year. We weren't far away but they were alone and felt all independent.
I would not let them run free at a new Faire but MD is our home. I feel pretty safe there with their personal maturity as well as the designated safe spots.
I have a 7 year old daughter and a 9 year old son; our home faire is TRF. I don't believe I'll be comfortable letting my children wander out of sight until they hit their teens and NEVER alone. I do let them wander 20 feet or so in front of me if they decide they want to visit a booth, ride or game while I'm standing around socializing with friends, but they are always in my line of sight. They know if I whistle they'd better come running or they're stuck by my side for the duration of the day.
I agree that it probably depends on the event and the child. We have a lot of second and third generation faire brats who grew up going to faire. A number of them are, or have been infolved in gigs. There are also specific supervised play areas for them.
Also, participants are alert for and trained in dealing with misplaced children. Apparently unaccompanied children will be asked if they know where their parents are. If they don't, Security is alerted. If they do, they'll be taken to their parents. It's bad parental practice for children to visit the privies unattended.
Been doing RPFS for nearly 30 years and I'm not aware of any incidents.
I thank God that, well, between all you wondrous friends we have at Faire and Falcone's keen sense of how dangerous it is to get too far away from Dad... I have a situation similar to Dallan's. Most know Falcone even better than they know me and I know I'm not the only one who has his back, so to speak.
With the recent issue at LotL with Seamus, safety is first and foremost on our minds down here, as well it should be anyway...
and I think this season I'll be even more hawkish than normal
and thankful, still, for all you extra eyes!
I think I should probably elaborate on faire brats.
Most are generally known to the participants and, thus, they have lots of "aunts" and "uncles" to watch out for them. However, their parents still have the primary responsibility. The daughter of our Guildmaster, and the daughter of one of the vendors were fast friends and did go from point to point without direct supervision after getting approval. (The vendor daughter is currently the Queen's understudy and the Guildmaster's daughter works in a stand. The latter's daughter is fourth generation.) A number of our faire brats are active as adults--except those who are serving in the military.
Now, finally, my point. Pre-teen faire brats are known to roam the site, but not singly. They are also not to do so without permission and should generally be going from point to point. The teenagers usually have an awareness of faire and, with parental approval, generally have more freedom.