After a co worker came into work in near tears I wanted to toss this out to all of you. She spent the past few weeks making a baby blanket for a friend of her's baby shower, which was the previous night. It didn't go well. She was ridiculed by some of the other guests, and the guest of honor because they felt she should have just bought something instead of making "such a trashy home made item".
Have any of you run into unappreciative gift receivers? How do you react?
I've got a bibbed overall outfit I made for a co-worker's baby shower on Friday. It is just the boy version of an outfit I made Fuzzlet. It was all stash except for the snap tape, and appliqué. If she likes it, she likes it. If she doesn't, it is her loss. I'm only out $4, and I learned what fabrics work for this pattern, and which don't. No biggie to me.
Right now I'm dealing with someone who can't understand why I didn't give her child a gift. Back in March he threw a temper tantrum in the middle of a craft show in order to get an item. He proceeded to flaunt and go nanna nna boo boo to his cousins that he had it and they didn't. To level the playing field I made each of the cousins & siblings the same identical item. Didn't cost much, and really took little time for me. They even made me thank you cards for doing it for them. Who do you think I'll make more items for?
Now the mom is hacked I didn't make him one. Granted this is the same mom that threw a fit for me to make her son a Diego panel shirt, which I did. However she wouldn't let him wear it because it was too "Special." Why would I want to make something for her child whose selfishness and uncontrolled behavior caused the problem in the first place?
For your co - worker this is my personal take on the issue. A gift is a gift, whether it is homemade or store bought, the recipient should have accepted the gift graciously and kept her comments to herself. That was really mean for that to happen and very selfish on the recipient's part.
I personally, like homemade gifts because it shows that someone really took time (their own personal time) to make a gift. The quality can vary from excellent to decent but, the point being is that someone went above and beyond the standard norm of just buying something. I know this because I sew and not everyone knows how much time and effort is involed in sewing something.
Kids and gifts are hard to deal with, I always make our daughter sign thank you notes (I write them for her she's only 3 yrs) when ever she receives a gift. Not all parents are like this as I have found and everyone has different circumstances on what is going on in their life so, I have LOW expectations on receiving thank you notes.
As for the mom who want to know why you don't make anything for her son that's a hard one.
I've come across shower-ees that made it abundantly clear they only wanted gifts from their registry at Target or Walmart. This tends to chap me, so I drop a ten spot in the gift basket, knowing that the snark factor will probably be lost on the mom to be anyway.
Good manners are lost on a lot of people.
Ohhhh man
I feel for your coworker.
If I had been her and that had happened to me, I would have snatched my gift right out of the ungrateful recipient's hands and exclaimed that if she wanted it back she could pay $100 for it. But then again I have no problem telling jerks what I think of them. I would have turned around and left the shower right then and there, I won't suffer fools.
Regardless of the quality your coworker spent time and money in making it.
I guarantee you that the jerks that were that uncouth as to say that to her, don't have a single creative or talented bone in their body and purposely made those comments to make her feel bad and make themselves feel better for being so boorish and ignorant.
I've never had that situation happen to me because I am very selective of who I make things for.
In regards to your situation, I think you acted perfectly.
When the misbehaving child's mother confronted you about why you didn't make one for her child, I would have explained it to her exactly the same way you explained it to us.
Unfortunately a lot of jerks behave the way they do because noone ever has the guts to confront them and tell them they are being jerks and turning their kids into brats.
Don't feel bad about what you did, I commend you for taking a small step in teaching this child that screaming and hissy fit throwing and being a jerk has consequences
One of the best gifts that I have gotten so far for fuzzlet was a little hat and booties my SIL made. She is learning to knit, and really wanted to make SOMETHING. Are they top of the line, amazingly made? Nope, but you can tell how much love and effort she put in it. They are made with love, and dropped stitches or knobby at places, they will still keep her warm. That is what matters to me. Add in another SIL made a "keep sake" box for her. She spent the time to decorate the box specially for Fuzzlet. I know it means more that she made it instead of just store bought.
I actually was surprised that my mother thought I would be offended and think her "hillbilly" because she wanted to crochet a blanket for our kiddo. Frankly I think it makes it more special that some one took the time to make something, no matter how it turns out.
I told my co worker that I love handmade gifts and if she wanted to make something for our child I would appreciate it because of the effort she put into making it. Made her smile.
Auryn:
The funniest look I ever got from a kid was one who I was baby sitting for a little bit. He screamed he wanted something. I wouldn't let him have it. When he screamed louder I turned to him, and said in a dead pan voice, "The more you scream the more you are not getting it." His look of "But.. But... But.." was priceless.
Ive never had anyone say that to me and if they did I might have taken it back and left.
All the stuff that my mother and I have made for our family is loved. Mom made blankets for all of her grandkids and they are all of the kids got to blankies. The stuffies that I make for them are close to being beaten to death because of the loe the kiddos give them.
The weirdest reaction that I have had was for a stuffed dinosaur that I gave a good friends 2 year old. She unwrapped it washed him then wrapped him again, I may have stuffed him a tad too much so some he looked a little hairy with stuffing that wiggled throught the weave. But the kiddo HAS to have his duckie dino to go to sleep!
Adriana,
your friend washed the dino and rewrapped it to give to her kid??
did she think he needed a shower and a shave??
I had someone do that to a fleece blanket I made them. They thought it was a store bought and wanted to make sure it was clean enough for their kiddo. She didn't realize it was handmade until she was looking at it closely.
Then again, I would wash ANYTHING my mom made for my kiddo because I know how many animals she has, and how much she smokes. I would want to make sure it was "clean" before I let fuzzlet touch it.
To be honest some people are so materialistic and have to have the newest stuff.
Some of the best things i have was made for me and i think when its home made it shows you put more thought and time into it.
Right now i have a second cousin that i do love dearly but she is having a baby shower for her third kid. Now i was always under the impression you only have a baby shower for your first child. I'm i wrong on this?
Oh and i do love making things myself, one christmas party for work instead of buying a gift i made a dreamcatcher, it was the only gift that night that had 3 steals on it in the gift exchange.
She's a tad nerotic ocdish
I warned that he may need a bath because I have dogs but the shower and shave were optional :D
It wasn't something we made, but Nimue and I offered the engagement ring I bought her to my son to give to his intended. He was overcome with gratitude...she wasn't. He did get it back before he divorced her...
Nim talked to co-workers, and they sided with my ex-DIL. Is it just that my generation places more intrinsic value on certain things? I still have drawings hanging in my office that my son did when he was 7 or 8 years old. They mean as much or more to me than anything else that I've ever gotten.
To me, something hand-made means that someone cared.
Quote from: Francisco Paula on July 21, 2011, 10:55:49 AM
Right now i have a second cousin that i do love dearly but she is having a baby shower for her third kid. Now i was always under the impression you only have a baby shower for your first child. I'm i wrong on this?
I thought the same...Per Miss Manners:
"If the shower is for a second or subsequent baby (these babies deserve a celebration, too!), the guest list is usually made up of close friends and family and anyone who was, for whatever reason, not invited to the first shower."
However, it's considered less acceptable to have showers for subsequent weddings (though it's done all the time, especially for Celebrities).
Since a shower of any kind is supposed to be done for the expectant parents or bride to be by a third party I don't see that the guest of honor really has any input other than declining the offer.
Quote from: Auryn on July 21, 2011, 10:17:39 AM
Ohhhh man
I feel for your coworker.
If I had been her and that had happened to me, I would have snatched my gift right out of the ungrateful recipient's hands and exclaimed that if she wanted it back she could pay $100 for it. But then again I have no problem telling jerks what I think of them. I would have turned around and left the shower right then and there, I won't suffer fools.
Regardless of the quality your coworker spent time and money in making it.
I guarantee you that the jerks that were that uncouth as to say that to her, don't have a single creative or talented bone in their body and purposely made those comments to make her feel bad and make themselves feel better for being so boorish and ignorant.
I've never had that situation happen to me because I am very selective of who I make things for.
In regards to your situation, I think you acted perfectly.
When the misbehaving child's mother confronted you about why you didn't make one for her child, I would have explained it to her exactly the same way you explained it to us.
Unfortunately a lot of jerks behave the way they do because noone ever has the guts to confront them and tell them they are being jerks and turning their kids into brats.
Don't feel bad about what you did, I commend you for taking a small step in teaching this child that screaming and hissy fit throwing and being a jerk has consequences
This!
Although, I am curious as to the quality of the child's blanket given the reaction. I know when my baby brother was born MANY years ago, I received a matching homemade doll blanket for his crib blanket. I still have it in the closet and it's still amazing to me the quality of it.
Some people have the manners of wild dogs thats the only thing that I can think of so yeah.
Quote from: Merlin the Elder on July 21, 2011, 11:20:58 AM
It wasn't something we made, but Nimue and I offered the engagement ring I bought her to my son to give to his intended. He was overcome with gratitude...she wasn't. He did get it back before he divorced her...
Nim talked to co-workers, and they sided with my ex-DIL. Is it just that my generation places more intrinsic value on certain things?
I'm glad he got the ring back. I asked around my office and this is what I heard:
Apparently the engagement ring is supposed to represent the grooms' intention to provide material support to the bride to be and the ring is considered her property once she goes through with the wedding, heirloom or not. Wedding rings can be passed down, returned to the giver, and are frequently requested in divorce settlements particularly if it is an heirloom, but engagement rings are usually not even if they are big, well known pieces.
Price William used Diana's ring, but it was a gift from his brother, and he gifted it in turn to his wife. Kate is not expected to return the ring should she get divorced.
Back to the original topic: It is the height of bad taste not to accept a gift given in good faith, or to critisize any gift offered as such while in the presence of the giver, no matter how humble. It shows a lack of manners as well as good grace and is an outright insult to the giver.
Public figures frequently donate or give away excess gifts, but never turn them down or send them back. That is just common good manners.
I have recently started giving coworkers handmade items for showers and had good results. everyone knows when i made it and gushes ofcourse i also have another coworker who has made diaper bags for every baby shower we've had and no one is like ick it's not store bought.
I'm sorry anyone did that too your coworker i love handmade things i treasure them because i know someone put their time and effort into creating something for me.
Quote from: isabelladangelo on July 21, 2011, 12:10:13 PM
This! Although, I am curious as to the quality of the child's blanket given the reaction. I know when my baby brother was born MANY years ago, I received a matching homemade doll blanket for his crib blanket. I still have it in the closet and it's still amazing to me the quality of it.
My co-worker had bought a winnie the pooh print fleece section, and bound the edges with bias tape. Fairly simple, but cute. From hearing my co-worker talk, the mom has an "only the best for my baby" attitude. One of the mom's here just said, "Wait till the mom is sleep deprived, milk stained, and has a cranky colicy baby and see if she cares if the blanket is home made or store bought." LOL
Until I started making baby outfits, I loved to make baby bibs from large wash cloths and hand towels. When I would make them for coworkers I would always use the towels from our store. They got a kick out of seeing stuff they designed, delivered to stores, and then turned into a special item for them.
Baby blankets are not heirloom items. They are usually in shreds by toddlerhood because of frequent washings and the fact that babies are rough on stuff. So in a year, maybe less, that store-bought bankie is going to be in the same tired, washed out condition as the home-made one. Some people know the price of everything, but the value of nothing.
Quote from: Taffy Saltwater on July 21, 2011, 01:30:01 PM
Baby blankets are not heirloom items. They are usually in shreds by toddlerhood because of frequent washings and the fact that babies are rough on stuff. So in a year, maybe less, that store-bought bankie is going to be in the same tired, washed out condition as the home-made one. Some people know the price of everything, but the value of nothing.
Well said!
Quote from: Taffy Saltwater on July 21, 2011, 01:30:01 PM
Baby blankets are not heirloom items. They are usually in shreds by toddlerhood because of frequent washings and the fact that babies are rough on stuff. So in a year, maybe less, that store-bought bankie is going to be in the same tired, washed out condition as the home-made one. Some people know the price of everything, but the value of nothing.
I think you nailed it.
But unfortunately I have seen the same attitude many many times. One of my friends made several rompers for her nephew's expectant wife. At the baby showe in Southlake, the gift was given a cool reception even though she had appliqued some very cute winnie the pooh characters on them. Later she heard the mother-in-law make a comment about giving them to Goodwill since they obviously had not been bought at XXXX baby store.
I despair for humanity some days.
Everyone I know was raised with the attitude of accept graciously whatever it is. Of course, the kids who have lots of clothing do not show the same enthusiasm for new clothes as those who only get new clothes for start of school (if then), but they at least have learned to smile and say thank you.
My childless married Daughter started offering a "day with Aunt alone" or a physical gift when nephews reached age of 10. Response now is "day with you, of course" before she can even get the offer out. The next-in-line niece was musing to me this summer that she hopes Aunt begins to make the offer to her soon not knowing this is the year.
Then there is my Sister who began making quilts for the kids and then started getting requests by older kids to make one for younger sibling so the older doesn't have to share. One quilt made for Sis's new grandson was quickly "accepted" by his three-year old sister on behalf of her dollie – Sis will just have to make another one. My 14-year old Grandson still has the matching quilted pillow on his bed after about 10 years (we're afraid to wash it again). He's folded the quilt on a chair for safekeeping, after it had to be repaired. I think he's saving it for his kids.
Hand-made or the gift of time wins out over store-bought for this latest generation in our family.
As for people who stick their noses in the air at hand-made – I hope they stub their toes many times.
Polly PoPo
(aka Grannie)
LadyS, the most precious baby gifts anyone in my family has ever received are the baby quilts my grandmother made by hand. By the time my own daughter was born, my g-ma's hands and eyes were too bad to quilt any more, so she didn't get one... but I have one of the last full size quilts she ever made, and I'm having it preserved so it will last for generations, and when my daughter is grown and starts a family of her own it will be her gift, and she has already said she will pass it down to her daughter, if she has one.
Gifts that are made by hand, and with love, are the ones that become the most precious over time... and anyone who doesn't already know this just doesn't deserve that sort of gift to begin with.
Quote from: Rowen MacD on July 21, 2011, 12:33:42 PM...I asked around my office and this is what I heard:
Apparently the engagement ring is supposed to represent the grooms' intention to provide material support to the bride to be ...
Well, there you have it in a nutshell. It's no longer about love, it's all about "what can you do for me." Have we really gotten that selfish?
I would be heartbroken if I ever lost the items my mom made for me, blankets, crochet work, etc. I even have items from my grandmother's household. Some items are a bit tattered but it's the memories made, the time and care that it took to make these items that makes them special. My mother and grandmother have been gone from this world for many years, but I still use the blankets my mom made and think of her whenever I do. It's better than anything she ever bought for me.
Last winter I knitted a scarf for our son. He loves it because I made it (he's 9). I will be sure that before it gets too worn down I will put it up for safe keeping so when I am gone he has it to remember me by whenever he puts it on.
Lady Stitch I truly fee bad for your co-worker. The 'friend' that she thought she had is obviously not much of a friend. Otherwise she would have felt the love that is in the blanket.
My daughter has a blanket that my old neighbor's sister made for her when she was born (and this sister even lived 2 1/2 hours from us and I had only met her maybe 3 or 4 times). She had just learned to sew and wanted to make this for me and my daughter. To this day my almost 10 year old daughter takes that blanket with her when she goes on trips. I have even asked her if she was a little too old to carry that blanket still and she said it's her favorite blanket. To me, it's something special who took the time to make something for my daughter and I hope someday she will give it her daughter (or son).
I would much rather have something homemade or something that has been handed down that has been in my family for awhile.
I'm so sorry your co-worker was treated that way. Those woman will never appreciate the true "finer" things in life.
As for your other situation, I don't have any suggestions. It sounds like no matter what you do it won't be right. But I do think you did the right thing and until that mom and her son learn to appreciate and be grateful for things then they don't need to get a special gift.
My mother, who didn't sew & never had any desire to sew or learn to sew, as a surprise for Christmas 2 months before our oldest son, her first grandchild, was born, had my cousin show her how to make baby kimonos. Simple design, with a neck tie, sleeves, and open down the front, and the length to the baby's feet. And then she embroidered them! My whole life up to that point, I never knew my mother knew how to embroider. She never did anything like that before, and never did again.
Our son turned 30 in February of this year. My mother passed away 8 years ago in June. I still have those baby kimonos in a rubbermaid tub, and are one of the most precious gifts I have ever received.
I also knit prayer shawls for anyone who needs one. People at work come up and ask them for family members, I make them for people going through health issues, deaths of loved ones, soldiers going to Iraq, you name it, I make them. And I am not a good knitter! I call the blankets "holey" as opposed to "holy" because of the dropped stitches and holes in them. Yet, no one has ever complained about them.
I think those people were rude, jealous, and you proved yourself the bigger person by not making a scene. Think of it this way. You have to work with people, but that doesn't mean you have to be great buddies with them. I'd just stay away frm the rude ones.
Quote from: DonaCatalina on July 21, 2011, 04:15:39 PM
Quote from: Taffy Saltwater on July 21, 2011, 01:30:01 PM
Baby blankets are not heirloom items. They are usually in shreds by toddlerhood because of frequent washings and the fact that babies are rough on stuff. So in a year, maybe less, that store-bought bankie is going to be in the same tired, washed out condition as the home-made one. Some people know the price of everything, but the value of nothing.
I think you nailed it.
But unfortunately I have seen the same attitude many many times. One of my friends made several rompers for her nephew's expectant wife. At the baby showe in Southlake, the gift was given a cool reception even though she had appliqued some very cute winnie the pooh characters on them. Later she heard the mother-in-law make a comment about giving them to Goodwill since they obviously had not been bought at XXXX baby store.
I despair for humanity some days.
That item from XXXX baby store may have a fancy name (which is really what you're paying for) attached to it, but I guarantee it was mass produced in China and the quality most likely on par with the cheap stuff you find at Wal Mart and other discount stores. The clothes your friend took the time to make were probably of better quality, but since some people turn their noses up at anything that doesn't have a brand name, it's completely lost on them. Taffy hit the nail on the head.
Lady Stitch! I am sorry your co worker was treated with such indefference. When giving or making a gift, it is the thought that counts. Whether it be for a Baby, Adult, or Child.
Some people do have the manners of a cold fish.
As to the orginal post, it just sounds like rude behavior all around. A gift is a gift and even if you absolutely for some reason hate the gift, you are still gracious and thank the giver because its always "the thought that counts."
I love homemade items and my favorite most cherished gifts for my children have been handmade. A cousin made a beautiful calico dress, bonnet, and baby shoes for my first daughter. While all the other store bought clothes have either been given away or pack in garbage bags, those are in special box in my closet and if I have granddaughters some day I intend to pass it down. The others are afgans made by my late grandmother. She crocheted and knitted to fill her time and every baby born in our family (her grandchildren, nieces, nephews, grandnieces and newphews, greatgrandchildren) all have at least one of her afgans. Mine was my blankie when I was little and I managed to keep up until about five years ago when it finally started to fall apart due to use (I'm 34 btw).
She also had what I thought was a very classy way of giving them. She always bought something practical off of the regestry and gave both. That way the mom-to-be got something she asked for and something my grandmother hoped she would cherish.
Quote from: Merlin the Elder on July 21, 2011, 07:06:32 PM
Quote from: Rowen MacD on July 21, 2011, 12:33:42 PM...I asked around my office and this is what I heard:
Apparently the engagement ring is supposed to represent the grooms' intention to provide material support to the bride to be ...
Well, there you have it in a nutshell. It's no longer about love, it's all about "what can you do for me." Have we really gotten that selfish?
Yep. This is a very convenient (for the bride) hold over from a bygone era.
Engagement rings are a very old fashioned, pre-suffragette custom that have been retained to this day simply because it is profitable for the jewelry industry and a way to further the brides' social status, and provide bragging rights to the groom: Huge Rock=Manhunt Win. However, we sugar coat it to mean: Huge rock=Huge love.
Certainly, a simple $200 promise ring (my hubby gave me a Claddagh) serves the same purpose of announcing that a woman is engaged, but does not impress her friends and family like a $5K rock.
Most women today have their own money and careers, and they don't need the 'dower padding' of a huge diamond in their jewelry box in case the hubby passes on or divorces them, making their future matrimonial prospects less than ideal.
Quote from: Rowen MacD on July 22, 2011, 09:59:03 AM
Quote from: Merlin the Elder on July 21, 2011, 07:06:32 PM
Quote from: Rowen MacD on July 21, 2011, 12:33:42 PM...I asked around my office and this is what I heard:
Apparently the engagement ring is supposed to represent the grooms' intention to provide material support to the bride to be ...
Well, there you have it in a nutshell. It's no longer about love, it's all about "what can you do for me." Have we really gotten that selfish?
Yep. This is a very convenient (for the bride) hold over from a bygone era.
Engagement rings are a very old fashioned, pre-suffragette custom that have been retained to this day simply because it is profitable for the jewelry industry and a way to further the brides' social status, and provide bragging rights to the groom: Huge Rock=Manhunt Win. However, we sugar coat it to mean: Huge rock=Huge love.
Certainly, a simple $200 promise ring (my hubby gave me a Claddagh) serves the same purpose of announcing that a woman is engaged, but does not impress her friends and family like a $5K rock.
Most women today have their own money and careers, and they don't need the 'dower padding' of a huge diamond in their jewelry box in case the hubby passes on or divorces them, making their future matrimonial prospects less than ideal.
Actually, the engagement ring in it's current form is from WWII (ie, not a hold over from a bygone era, really). It was an advertising campaign by the jewelry industry to force a demand on diamonds. Before that, it could have been anything -or not even a ring! If anything at all was given. In some places in Europe, it's still customary to not give a ring until the marriage ceremony. The Claddagh is the Irish version of the Italian Fede ring which is the customary wedding band still in certain parts of Italy.
That's also what my husband said. He does not like to buy diamonds because he does not believe that the gemstone trade is truly 'conflict free' regardless of the ads by the mining companies. Diamonds are not all that rare, but the industry carefully controls what is available on the market to keep prices high.
G.G.G.O.G.G.G.
Translation: Great Green Gobs Of Gooey Gopher Guts.
I did not think that kind of snide a$$hole still existed. Tell them to get bent and their attitude with them
It is perfectly proper to let them know where the bear $hit$ in the buckwheat.
I have two dressing gowns. One is a light summery effort, made from a bit of spare and not terribly pretty polycotton sheeting. The other is dark green fleece. Both were made by Big Sis, a fair few years back, when she was finally learning to sew. The green one has one cuff a little bigger than the other.
She is mortified that I still wear them regularly! They work, and she made them for me. Why would I do anything else? I think of her with great affection when I wear them.
When the GMNT was a baby cherub, a cousin of mine knitted him a lace shawl. I love that shawl. It was a beautiful item and a fabulous thing for her to do for my baby. And one of his grandmothers knitted several things for him, which were lovely too. I was sad when he outgrew them. They were so much nicer than anything you could buy!
Here in the UK there is no such thing as a baby shower. My great niece will get a nice baby bag I made, complete with changing mat, and a couple of little dresses and (eventually!) a patchwork quilt. I know her parents will appreciate them. And I don't care if the quilt gets dragged through the mud: so long as it gets used, that's just fine!
[/quote]
Yep. This is a very convenient (for the bride) hold over from a bygone era.
Engagement rings are a very old fashioned, pre-suffragette custom that have been retained to this day simply because it is profitable for the jewelry industry and a way to further the brides' social status, and provide bragging rights to the groom: Huge Rock=Manhunt Win. However, we sugar coat it to mean: Huge rock=Huge love.
Certainly, a simple $200 promise ring (my hubby gave me a Claddagh) serves the same purpose of announcing that a woman is engaged, but does not impress her friends and family like a $5K rock.
Most women today have their own money and careers, and they don't need the 'dower padding' of a huge diamond in their jewelry box in case the hubby passes on or divorces them, making their future matrimonial prospects less than ideal.
[/quote]
Steve and I have been married for over 32 years. When his original wedding ring broke for the nth time 6 years ago & couldn't be fixed (he's a left handed chef, and the continual use of knives wore the gold away in too many places to keep repairing), I bought him a Celtic pewter ring from Ebay. Cost: $12. And he loves it. So the price of the ring really shouldn't matter, it's the love that is important. It's sad people don't see that.
Ok, so I am just reading this and I must say that anyone who would openly ridicule a handmade gift needs to be slapped! When my son was born two of the most cherished gifts I received were handmade balnkets. We still have them and they are in my sons keepsake box right now. He loves both of them, which is the reason they are currently put up...he loves them too much...lol
Anytime someone puts time and love into making something for you or your child, it should be appreciated. Had I been in the gift givers shoes I would have walked up, taken the gift and told them all what they could do with it. People just do not have manners these days...
I did want to say the hand made baby outfit I made for my coworker's shower on Friday went over REALLY well. She loved it. He won't be able to wear it till next summer, but that is the way I planned it.
She is getting him some little socks and boots to go with it. That way he has this whole geman litterhosen thing going on. Very happy mom to be there.
Granted the next question was, "And how many outfits have you made for your kid?"
"Um.. you mean in total or this week?" ;D
Some people are poorly raised, that's all I have to say on the matter of the ill mannered comments and rejects of your friends gift.
Hand made gifts have been in my family for ages. I've made quilts, crochet blankets, and clothes, for nieces, nephews, and friends, all have been well received. That is just plain rudeness on their part. If it wasn't for handmade clothes, I would have gone to school naked. My aunt and mother made all my clothes, and when they thought we were old enough they taught us to sew also.
I've made Lord Dragon a couple of things and he loves them. I don't know what was going through their head. but someone ought to send them a book of manners.
As for the spoiled Brat. My son locked his aunts grand daughter out of the wirer-less system because she refused to say please. She thought it was beneath her. She whined and complained, all her mother and grandmother asked was "Did you say please?" when she said she wouldn't then they told her she got what she deserved.
Anyone wants to make me a quilt I'll gush all over you.
The biggest insult I have gotten in regards to my sewing was from a family member. . One summer I made a scarp quilt for a SIL (come to think of it, it is the same SIL who had the kid issue) ::)
Anyway, I gave it to her for Christmas/Birthday that year. She oo'd and ah'd over it, then stood up and said, "I'm putting this in my closet. It is too nice actually use."
She didn't understand why I was upset with her for a long while. It wasn't until a coworker asked about it that my SIL realized why I was so hacked at her. The co worker told her the biggest insult to a quilter, is to have a piece you made to be used, to be locked away and un used. My SIL called me that night and appologized. Granted I asked her about the quilt last winter and she said it was again locked in a closet because she didn't want her kids getting it messed up. Some people never learn..../sigh
On the other hand, growing up I a quilt I played on, slept with, made tents out of, loved literally to pieces. It was so thread bare from being loved that my grandfather finally had to toss it. It broke his heart to do it because his mother had made it for him back in 1930-40's. When I asked him about it he said "Yes I'm sad it is damaged, but mum would have preferred it be used and loved instead of locked in a cedar chest." That stuck with me.
When I was 15 or 16 now making quilts of my own my grandfather's baby brother was slowly dying of lung cancer. He always treated me like his little niece, and was always good to me. He was now living with his oldest daughter. She felt bad that his room got cold in the winter. He would say, "It's alright. Growing up I would just snuggle under one of my mum's quilts and I'd sleep happily."
Hearing that hurt because he needed the quilt I had "ruined". So I made him one. It was hand tied just like his old one was. I sent him a hand made letter telling him, if this quilt was to be used by him, and anyone who needed it. If I ever found out it was locked in a closet somewhere I'd kick someone's back side. It could never replace the quilt that his mum made, but this one was made with just as much love.
He only used it for 3 years before he died. His youngest daughter wanted the quilt put into a cedar chest. The daughter he lived with put her foot down saying, "This is Dad's quilt. He would kick our backsides if we packed it away." To this day that quilt is much faded, but his great grand children use it to make forts out of. When they nap, they use it. When someone is sick, they wrap up in it. My original letter to him is framed on the wall with a photo of us together. His daughter has always said that should the quilt ever fall apart she will send the tatters back to me so that I can use the pieces to make a new "Dad's Quilt".
Quote from: LadyStitch on July 26, 2011, 04:14:45 PM
When I was 15 or 16 now making quilts of my own my grandfather's baby brother was slowly dying of lung cancer. He always treated me like his little niece, and was always good to me. He was now living with his oldest daughter. She felt bad that his room got cold in the winter. He would say, "It's alright. Growing up I would just snuggle under one of my mum's quilts and I'd sleep happily."
Hearing that hurt because he needed the quilt I had "ruined". So I made him one. It was hand tied just like his old one was. I sent him a hand made letter telling him, if this quilt was to be used by him, and anyone who needed it. If I ever found out it was locked in a closet somewhere I'd kick someone's back side. It could never replace the quilt that his mum made, but this one was made with just as much love.
He only used it for 3 years before he died. His youngest daughter wanted the quilt put into a cedar chest. The daughter he lived with put her foot down saying, "This is Dad's quilt. He would kick our backsides if we packed it away." To this day that quilt is much faded, but his great grand children use it to make forts out of. When they nap, they use it. When someone is sick, they wrap up in it. My original letter to him is framed on the wall with a photo of us together. His daughter has always said that should the quilt ever fall apart she will send the tatters back to me so that I can use the pieces to make a new "Dad's Quilt".
It's posts like this that make me wish everything on the internet had a "Like" button :)
LadyStitch, your story reminded me so much of the book The Keeping Quilt by Patricia Polacco. If you've never read it, then I think you should. http://www.amazon.com/Keeping-Quilt-Patricia-Polacco/dp/0689844476 (http://www.amazon.com/Keeping-Quilt-Patricia-Polacco/dp/0689844476)
And I agree - quilts are meant to be used. My mom made my brother and I quilts when we were in elementary school (and she's never been into sewing). Mine was made out of antique handkerchiefs which we collected from garage sales and thrift and antique stores over at least a year. I helped pick them all out, then she sewed them together and backed it and made a quilt out of it. That quilt stayed on my bed for probably 6 to 7 years, with my mom patching up and/or replacing any handkerchiefs that tore, until it was really in too bad a state to use anymore. I think now it's probably living in a box somewhere, but it definitely had a good life while I was growing up.
you know it's so funny, growing up in my family hand made things were so highly prized that I have actually felt guilty for buying someone something and not taking the time to make something handmade. I can't even fathom such an ungrateful reaction :o
Quote from: LadyStitch on July 26, 2011, 04:14:45 PM
On the other hand, growing up I a quilt I played on, slept with, made tents out of, loved literally to pieces. It was so thread bare from being loved that my grandfather finally had to toss it. It broke his heart to do it because his mother had made it for him back in 1930-40's. When I asked him about it he said "Yes I'm sad it is damaged, but mum would have preferred it be used and loved instead of locked in a cedar chest." That stuck with me.
When I was 15 or 16 now making quilts of my own my grandfather's baby brother was slowly dying of lung cancer. He always treated me like his little niece, and was always good to me. He was now living with his oldest daughter. She felt bad that his room got cold in the winter. He would say, "It's alright. Growing up I would just snuggle under one of my mum's quilts and I'd sleep happily."
Hearing that hurt because he needed the quilt I had "ruined". So I made him one. It was hand tied just like his old one was. I sent him a hand made letter telling him, if this quilt was to be used by him, and anyone who needed it. If I ever found out it was locked in a closet somewhere I'd kick someone's back side. It could never replace the quilt that his mum made, but this one was made with just as much love.
He only used it for 3 years before he died. His youngest daughter wanted the quilt put into a cedar chest. The daughter he lived with put her foot down saying, "This is Dad's quilt. He would kick our backsides if we packed it away." To this day that quilt is much faded, but his great grand children use it to make forts out of. When they nap, they use it. When someone is sick, they wrap up in it. My original letter to him is framed on the wall with a photo of us together. His daughter has always said that should the quilt ever fall apart she will send the tatters back to me so that I can use the pieces to make a new "Dad's Quilt".
This actually made me cry a little.
I have a couple of quilts that my g-grandmother made. They went with us to every picnic, drive-in movie, and road trip growing up. They have held up very well to the abuse! Now I use them when I do Civil War reenacting. My mom said that g-grandma would be very proud. I hope they last long enough for our child (and perhaps beyond) to spill on, drag, bundle, and abuse them! ;)
I had made the PP and I a quilt when we got married, but my grandmother was determined I should have a "proper" wedding quilt. For years and years a quilt top that my grandmother's Great Aunt had made sat unused in my grandmother's cedar chest. When the PP and I anounced our engagement she took it to a group of 5 ladies who every week day for 6 months hand quilted it. When they were done, my grandmother hand bound it. That was her wedding gift to us. Yes it is thinner than my "modern" one but it is far warmer. When I went to NZ that is the quilt I took. Of all the things that I wanted back from NZ when we had to leave, it was that item. I got it back a year ago, and all winter it was on my bed. Light wieght but warm. When my niece and Nephew came to visit they used it as a pallet to sleep on. And when fuzzlet get's here she will get to use it to.
Yes quilts are very special. which is why it breaks my heart to hear stories on other forums where they are not appreciated for what they are in the American heritage, most noteable as baby gifts.
We made a memory quilt for my grandparents a few years ago, they moved to Arizona so we dont see them often (compaired to the weekly that we had this friggen stinks)
We went trough all the photos that we had and copied them to iron on transfers and with all the photos we had on it we made a twin sized quilt! And that was with som major restrant on the photos. Granpa made a rack for it to hang up by their front door. That makes me very happy that its hung up. Oh and they are the envy of their neighbors for it too :-)
I wonder if these people stop and think.....
how many of us, or our kids/relatives, have a special momento such a blanket grandma made, or a dress your mom made you, or a costume from when you were little you and someone special made together.
How many people do you know who keep something off their shower gift registry? When its bought from a store, its just one of many of the same thing. There isnt anything special about it.
When I was first expecting my first child, a had a friend who was also expecting. My baby was due first, and she made a blanket for her. It was nothing special....plain mint green backing, and the type of front that has a pic that you just stitch over. She didnt have a machine, so she did it by hand. My daughter is now 15 and still doesnt sleep without that blanket. It really means a lot to her that before she was even born, somebody cared enough to take the time to make that blanket.
I doubt she would have felt the same way about a mass produced blanket from Penneys.