Share your favourite stories, if you please, of times at camp. There may already be a thread for this..if so, apologies. I'm just jonesing for a good tale.
I already divulged most of mine in the other thread a couple of years back, but I can always re-post them if desired since that thread is now long buried
Hhhhhmmmmmm..... I am trying to recall a story about 'The Mouse & the Fire Pit'.... anyone ever heard that one?
Oh there are so many but the one story that gets all my faire virgin friends to camp with us is...
This one time we were all minding our business just hanging around the fire and drinking. Next thing you know 3 girls come up to the fire. They had on cloaks and it was no big deal, we start chatting, as you do and then we all realize that they only had on cloaks!! The guys in our camp about died lol All the wives started cracking up. The girls just laughed and said thanks for the loki and the fire you guys have a great night! Every time someone hears that story they want to see if it will happen again lmao
Second best story>>> Last AHE weekend my husband had to work. So I went with the rest of our clan and rode with a girlfriend of mine. We were very very very drunk that Friday night so one of my friends husbands said he would walk with me, his wife and his sister to the bonfire ( smoke pit) to have a cig to make sure we were ok. So we start playing the Jenga game set up by the fire pit. > I hope you guys know what I am talking about, can't remember that pirate that sets this up..one again I was drunk>> Anyway his sister pulls out a piece and does the dare on the bottom..next thing I know my top is down, her face is in my chest and our designated walker was screaming man I wanted to see Autumn's tits but not like this..that is my sister lmao
Ahhh crazy crazy times lmao
Quote from: Autumn Blaize on September 09, 2012, 03:14:53 PM
Oh there are so many but the one story that gets all my faire virgin friends to camp with us is...
This one time we were all minding our business just hanging around the fire and drinking. Next thing you know 3 girls come up to the fire. They had on cloaks and it was no big deal, we start chatting, as you do and then we all realize that they only had on cloaks!! The guys in our camp about died lol All the wives started cracking up. The girls just laughed and said thanks for the loki and the fire you guys have a great night! Every time someone hears that story they want to see if it will happen again lmao
This encounter is typically accompanied by ice chest raiders....
That's why the ice chests need to be well within the light from the fire circle!
Breandan, by all means, repost..what is dead and buried is not necessarily gone....
I own a cloak...hmmm...I wonder if I could gain liquor that way...well, the nearly empty bottles thrown at my head as I'm being ran out of camp
Well over twenty years ago, when I first started working at TRF, I spent my days running around with the Barbarians as an unofficial bear-pelt-wearing appendage to the horde. Things were different back then, as we used to camp behind the Drunken Dragon in the inner circle which is now almost exclusively vendor parking. I was a young lad in my late teens- with all the quirks and foibles that come with such an age- and Fate decided to play a particularly amusing hand in the placement of my tent that year. It was completely unintentional, mind you, so I blame Fate for the situation wherein after night fell I realized that a neighboring tent was aligned precisely between my tent and a security light in just the right way so that the goings-on inside said tent were projected on my wall with crystal clarity. By clarity, let me simply say that the midnight interlude going on was so sharply projected that I could make out the hair on the arms of the male part of the ménage à trois occurring next door.
Not being the wisest of lads, I made the mistake of pointing this out to a friend of mine- who shall remain nameless- and, well, promptly found my tent filled with an audience of limbic voyeurs who actually started scoring and cheering, ruining any chance of sleep. Now, do not misunderstand my attempt to sleep through the silent theater of the carnal upon my wall as a puritanical bent on my part, but I had driven five hours from Corpus Christi that night after work and was exhausted, so my survival instinct of preventing sleep-deprivation around alcohol and sharp-and-pointies the next day had finally overridden my libido after a titanic struggle. That being said, the appreciation of the trio of apparent gymnasts with inexhaustible stamina soon turned into a drinking game, wherein shots were taken at various points, and triple-shots (of some caustic substance that would be put to better use degreasing engines or fueling an F22 Raptor than imbibing, I might add) for dexterous exploits that none in attendance thought physically possible. I am ashamed to say I took part in this, having long since given up on sleep after a certain someone *coughSeancough* used me as a seat when I attempted to do so.
Alas, I do not recall anything that followed for a period of 36 hours, beyond vague memories of doing something untoward on a table whilst wearing a kilt and two mystery hickies on my inner thighs I don't remember getting. The trio were, apparently, quite agile.... >.<
Quote from: Breandan on September 11, 2012, 11:08:11 AM
Well over twenty years ago, when I first started working at TRF, I spent my days running around with the Barbarians as an unofficial bear-pelt-wearing appendage to the horde. Things were different back then, as we used to camp behind the Drunken Dragon in the inner circle which is now almost exclusively vendor parking. I was a young lad in my late teens- with all the quirks and foibles that come with such an age- and Fate decided to play a particularly amusing hand in the placement of my tent that year. It was completely unintentional, mind you, so I blame Fate for the situation wherein after night fell I realized that a neighboring tent was aligned precisely between my tent and a security light in just the right way so that the goings-on inside said tent were projected on my wall with crystal clarity. By clarity, let me simply say that the midnight interlude going on was so sharply projected that I could make out the hair on the arms of the male part of the ménage à trois occurring next door.
Not being the wisest of lads, I made the mistake of pointing this out to a friend of mine- who shall remain nameless- and, well, promptly found my tent filled with an audience of limbic voyeurs who actually started scoring and cheering, ruining any chance of sleep. Now, do not misunderstand my attempt to sleep through the silent theater of the carnal upon my wall as a puritanical bent on my part, but I had driven five hours from Corpus Christi that night after work and was exhausted, so my survival instinct of preventing sleep-deprivation around alcohol and sharp-and-pointies the next day had finally overridden my libido after a titanic struggle. That being said, the appreciation of the trio of apparent gymnasts with inexhaustible stamina soon turned into a drinking game, wherein shots were taken at various points, and triple-shots (of some caustic substance that would be put to better use degreasing engines or fueling an F22 Raptor than imbibing, I might add) for dexterous exploits that none in attendance thought physically possible. I am ashamed to say I took part in this, having long since given up on sleep after a certain someone *coughSeancough* used me as a seat when I attempted to do so.
Alas, I do not recall anything that followed for a period of 36 hours, beyond vague memories of doing something untoward on a table whilst wearing a kilt and two mystery hickies on my inner thighs I don't remember getting. The trio were, apparently, quite agile.... >.<
Going to have to add this to a Faire movie screenplay, it's a must!
Ahhh... I love camp... :D
Several years ago after a horrible divorce I had decided I was going to remain completely single on purpose and forever. I had zero intention of ever being attached again. No way, no how.
Then this one time at Faire camp I met the Lovely Lady Trinn.
We celebrate 6 years of wedded bliss Saturday of opening weekend of TRF.
If you wish, join us in the camps that night. I expect this to be a night to remember.
*She accepted me for who I am and didn't mind the rum... what else could I do?*
This story is short and more of a summary than a story, but I tell it like a story and I shall remember it until the day I die.
The first time that I ever camped at a Ren Faire was just straight up magical, despite weather conditions to the otherwise. My husband and I arrived at camp to pretty joyous people all around, despite the frigid temps. I can't remember what really happened until the sun went down ( I think we just got settled in and waited for Teach to show up ) and walkabout started.
Walkabout was -perfect-. I love to people watch, take in the sights and sounds and smells of a group of people, unified, for one purpose, and walkabout was kinda like walking around sampling a buffet for me. The people we were introduced to were amazing and very welcoming, and with each interaction I felt that warm fuzzy feeling growing in my stomach.
After one ( or three or five ) laps with light snacking and more companionship around the fire, alex and I were ready to turn in. Bundled up in so many layers we couldn't put our arms down, we crawled into our cozy little tent to fall asleep. Alex was out within moments, but I stayed away for a few minutes to listen to the soft, far off sounds of the drum circle and crackling fires spread throughout the Sherwood campgrounds. That night, I fell asleep with that warm, fuzzy feeling permanently lodged in my stomach.
That was the best sleep I have had in awhile. Like I said, not really a story per say, but a fond memory.
I've really got to cut down on my FB time..I keep heading my cursor for a non-existent LIKE button on here...stories, fond memories, what have you..all are welcome/
I have a whole slew of stories to add to this thread, but there are some which are noteworthy, not because they happened at faire, but on the way to it. To explain this, you have to understand the journey- at the time, my foster-brothers Orren and Marty and I lived in or around Corpus Christi, which is four hours south of Houston along the coast. This meant a four hour trip to Houston on IH 77/59, and then switch to I-45 in Houston (which at that time was under constant construction and a nightmare and a half), followed by another hour to hour-and-a-half to faire. We did this after getting off work on Fridays... Epic journey indeed. One such tale happened in late October, 1995
That particular Friday eve, Marty and I were in the cab of my truck, and Orren was stretched out in the bed sleeping, encased in Marty's Army-issued arctic mummy bag and buried under our gear. As we came into Houston, 59 choked up to three very narrow lanes where construction was ongoing, and the 9pm bar-bound crowd was out in force. Then, it rained. Let me take a step back and rephrase that... somewhere above us in the heavens, a dam broke, deities fled for high ground, and then tore a rent in the sky to divert the biblical wall of water down onto our unsuspecting heads. We went from clear vision to where-the-hell-did-my-hood-go visibility in .04 seconds flat. All we could see of the car ahead of us was a faint red glow of brake lights as the dimwitted hydrophobe locked up and became a brand-name speed bump. Fortunately, I managed to avoid the bump and dodge a wreck, but found myself next to the k-rail divider. With a torrential downpour blinding us, and making traction dodgy at best, and the proximity of the concrete wall to my left seeming to be mere millimeters from my ear, things were understandably tense. Then, out of the rain-darkened night came a metallic behemoth from the right. A semi truck had pulled over into the middle lane, just as the car ahead of us slowed down. Boxed in by wall, semi, a cautious driver to the fore and a veritable vehicular proctologist behind us, our nerves were wracked like Torquemada's favorite victim.
A strange cracking noise sounded in the cab, and I risked a quick glance over to see Marty gripping the dashboard, and crushing it in his death grip as he stared out the right window at the truck. I then heard a strange squeak and realized I had bent the steering wheel in my own grip of the doomed. We rounded a curve, and then it happened- the semi crossed the dotted line. The lanes were already narrow, barely wide enough for my truck to fit in between the lines, so there was no room for movement as a mack truck suddenly wanted a wee cuddle. I pulled as far to the left as I could, only to be rewarded by a loud THWACK! as a reflector sticking out of the k-rail smacked my rearview mirror and slammed it against the window. Marty rolled down the window, allowing half the content of the Atlantic Ocean to join us, it seemed. I figured he had justifiably chosen to bail out of the doomed truck and take his chances clinging to the outside of the semi, but I was wrong. No, his loyalty to his brothers was strong as he leaned out the window and began furiously pounding on the back of the cab of the semi truck.
This seemed to get the attention of the driver, for the semi suddenly jerked away from pancaking our poor little truck into a Ford patty. I saw an opening and we managed to maneuver between vehicles like a ferret on meth , Marty shouting out "CLEAR!" the instant an opening appeared to the right, and we launched up the exit to I-45. As soon as we hit the exit, some god of weather returned from his visit to the loo and flipped the switch, shutting off the vertical tsunami. As we got onto I-45 proper, the skies parted, stars shone, angels sang, babies belched, and we pulled off onto the shoulder, grey-haired shattered wrecks of PTSD-stricken young men. It occurred to me that we had forgotten the last sibling of our traveling trio, and apparently Marty came to the same realization, for we both said "Orren!" in unison and bailed out of the cab, running to the bed to check on our trapped little brother. The wee bastard was still sound asleep. He had not only slept through the entire ordeal, but through some miracle of airflow and hydrodynamics he was bone-dry. Marty fixed that, scooping cold water off of the cab roof and dumping it on the slumbering cherub. After we finally reached faire (without further incident, thankfully), Marty and I agreed it was for the best if we drank ourselves into unconsciousness, which we did with the fervor one can only find in an ambitious career alcoholic.
Ah, good times ;D
Breandan sounds like you could make that experience a mod lol
Breandan >>>> WOW What a story! Thank goodness you guys came out ok! I must say my favorite part was "we managed to maneuver between vehicles like a ferret on meth" LOL What a visual!!!!
We have a 3 1/2 - 4 hour trip to faire ourselves but never had a story like that happen! Most that ever happened to us was the first year I went to faire with my husband ( also my first year to camp) we could not leave until 11 pm Friday night. By the time we got to the lonely stretches of road there was not a soul on them. We hit about a mile long patch of fog that looked like something out of a Steven King novel. You could not see anything an it seemed to roll around us. It was spooky! And it was AHE weekend so I was really freaked out. That was the longest trip to faire ever!!!
I think Breandan should volunteer at the library telling stories to the kiddies (o:
* In his Barbar garb* ;)
Between my preggo self having to get up, oh every 5 minutes it seemed, to go to the port-a-potty in the middle in the freezing night, and having Teach show us Llamas in Hats (Carrrrllllllll!!!!!!!!), going to Miss April's campsite and scarfing down cake pops with spicy crackers, and visiting McShugg's camp with Meggers, I have nothing but smiles when I think of faire camping... and that was just my first time out there camping! lol...
Quote from: KiltedPrivateer on September 12, 2012, 12:51:41 PM
I think Breandan should volunteer at the library telling stories to the kiddies (o:
Quote from: Laird Fraser of Lovatt on September 12, 2012, 02:19:51 PM
* In his Barbar garb* ;)
Those poor babies... getting the bejeebus scared out of them! LOL!!!!
my Anglo-Saxon Lit professor had me recite Beowulf... I held a group of late-teen/early-twenty-something spastic college kids in rapt attention for an hour reading a book aloud, and got applause at the end. Not bragging, just saying I was shocked I could pull it off.
Then again, being the quiet old guy in class who hardly speaks, walking up to the podium, and then suddenly booming forth "HEAR ME! LO, praise of the prowess of people-kings, of spear-armed Danes in days long sped we have heard, and what honor the Athelings won! Oft Scyld the Scefing from squadroned foes, from many a tribe, the mead-bench tore, awing the earls..." with a full-bore brogue (can't control it when I recite, only when I speak conversationally... damned American accent is a PITA to maintain at-volume)
*shrugs*
:o
*THAT must've been a "female dog"!!* ;)
Quote from: maeven on September 12, 2012, 02:28:28 PM
Between my preggo self having to get up, oh every 5 minutes it seemed, to go to the port-a-potty in the middle in the freezing night, and having Teach show us Llamas in Hats (Carrrrllllllll!!!!!!!!), going to Miss April's campsite and scarfing down cake pops with spicy crackers, and visiting McShugg's camp with Meggers, I have nothing but smiles when I think of faire camping... and that was just my first time out there camping! lol...
If I make it for Halloween I plan on bring my Kreuig again too :)
Quote from: Riot on September 13, 2012, 07:38:33 AM
Quote from: maeven on September 12, 2012, 02:28:28 PM
Between my preggo self having to get up, oh every 5 minutes it seemed, to go to the port-a-potty in the middle in the freezing night, and having Teach show us Llamas in Hats (Carrrrllllllll!!!!!!!!), going to Miss April's campsite and scarfing down cake pops with spicy crackers, and visiting McShugg's camp with Meggers, I have nothing but smiles when I think of faire camping... and that was just my first time out there camping! lol...
If I make it for Halloween I plan on bring my Kreuig again too :)
Splendid ;) Especially if it's chilly like last time! :)
Quote from: Breandan on September 12, 2012, 12:18:45 PM
I have a whole slew of stories ...
Ah, good times ;D
[stands in standing ovation] Bravo!! Bravo!!
As long as Mouse doesn't tell us what he did with a flute... :D
Quote from: maeven on September 13, 2012, 08:42:19 AM
Quote from: Riot on September 13, 2012, 07:38:33 AM
Quote from: maeven on September 12, 2012, 02:28:28 PM
Between my preggo self having to get up, oh every 5 minutes it seemed, to go to the port-a-potty in the middle in the freezing night, and having Teach show us Llamas in Hats (Carrrrllllllll!!!!!!!!), going to Miss April's campsite and scarfing down cake pops with spicy crackers, and visiting McShugg's camp with Meggers, I have nothing but smiles when I think of faire camping... and that was just my first time out there camping! lol...
If I make it for Halloween I plan on bring my Kreuig again too :)
Splendid ;) Especially if it's chilly like last time! :)
I always know where to find Scally on chilly mornings... :D
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 13, 2012, 04:31:01 PM
Quote from: maeven on September 13, 2012, 08:42:19 AM
Quote from: Riot on September 13, 2012, 07:38:33 AM
Quote from: maeven on September 12, 2012, 02:28:28 PM
Between my preggo self having to get up, oh every 5 minutes it seemed, to go to the port-a-potty in the middle in the freezing night, and having Teach show us Llamas in Hats (Carrrrllllllll!!!!!!!!), going to Miss April's campsite and scarfing down cake pops with spicy crackers, and visiting McShugg's camp with Meggers, I have nothing but smiles when I think of faire camping... and that was just my first time out there camping! lol...
If I make it for Halloween I plan on bring my Kreuig again too :)
Splendid ;) Especially if it's chilly like last time! :)
I always know where to find Scally on chilly mornings... :D
All I would need is someone with a Generator.. I bet I could totally convience bear to let me plug in for a bit over there in turn for hot coffee, hot chocolate, or hot tea :)
Especially if you are asking with a bottle of Banana Nut Bread, in hand... ;D
Quote from: Laird Fraser of Lovatt on September 13, 2012, 12:30:58 PM
As long as Mouse doesn't tell us what he did with a flute... :D
DOH!!! :o Mouse learned something at band camp????
*hums "Aqualung"*
Don't ask me why I just thought that... LOL!!!!
This one time, at faire camp..I beat a drunken camp encroacher with a flute...it was a melodic duet...Okay, that's a bit of a stretch..I threw a wooden flute at one who wouldn't leave. Less melodic, more discord as the guy who it belong to was not pleased.....he was shine on it anyways. :)
Shitee turns to shine eh? It appears you can polish a turd after all...
Quote from: Mouse on September 14, 2012, 11:28:22 AM
This one time, at faire camp..I beat a drunken camp encroacher with a flute...it was a melodic duet...Okay, that's a bit of a stretch..I threw a wooden flute at one who wouldn't leave. Less melodic, more discord as the guy who it belong to was not pleased.....he was shine on it anyways. :)
Shitee turns to shine eh? It appears you can polish a turd after all...
(http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u39/youenjoy00myself/badumbum.gif)
Quote from: Riot on September 14, 2012, 07:07:35 AM
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 13, 2012, 04:31:01 PM
Quote from: maeven on September 13, 2012, 08:42:19 AM
Quote from: Riot on September 13, 2012, 07:38:33 AM
Quote from: maeven on September 12, 2012, 02:28:28 PM
Between my preggo self having to get up, oh every 5 minutes it seemed, to go to the port-a-potty in the middle in the freezing night, and having Teach show us Llamas in Hats (Carrrrllllllll!!!!!!!!), going to Miss April's campsite and scarfing down cake pops with spicy crackers, and visiting McShugg's camp with Meggers, I have nothing but smiles when I think of faire camping... and that was just my first time out there camping! lol...
If I make it for Halloween I plan on bring my Kreuig again too :)
Splendid ;) Especially if it's chilly like last time! :)
I always know where to find Scally on chilly mornings... :D
All I would need is someone with a Generator.. I bet I could totally convience bear to let me plug in for a bit over there in turn for hot coffee, hot chocolate, or hot tea :)
Oh, I think Dorothy and Sheila would be quite happy to convince him if he had to stop and think about it! :D They always want coffee in the morning...
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 20, 2012, 10:08:26 PM
Quote from: Riot on September 14, 2012, 07:07:35 AM
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 13, 2012, 04:31:01 PM
Quote from: maeven on September 13, 2012, 08:42:19 AM
Quote from: Riot on September 13, 2012, 07:38:33 AM
Quote from: maeven on September 12, 2012, 02:28:28 PM
Between my preggo self having to get up, oh every 5 minutes it seemed, to go to the port-a-potty in the middle in the freezing night, and having Teach show us Llamas in Hats (Carrrrllllllll!!!!!!!!), going to Miss April's campsite and scarfing down cake pops with spicy crackers, and visiting McShugg's camp with Meggers, I have nothing but smiles when I think of faire camping... and that was just my first time out there camping! lol...
If I make it for Halloween I plan on bring my Kreuig again too :)
Splendid ;) Especially if it's chilly like last time! :)
I always know where to find Scally on chilly mornings... :D
All I would need is someone with a Generator.. I bet I could totally convience bear to let me plug in for a bit over there in turn for hot coffee, hot chocolate, or hot tea :)
Oh, I think Dorothy and Sheila would be quite happy to convince him if he had to stop and think about it! :D They always want coffee in the morning...
Oh I"m sure they would, besides I can always pull out "But my boobs are on your wall" that usually get a good laugh from him :)
And now, for one of the classics: The Tale of the Atlantean Tent and Flying Drunkards :D
Back in '98, in November, there was what could only be described as a torrent of biblical proportions. This was the weekend that DPS came out and ordered a mandatory evacuation of the faire grounds due to flooding. Well, not wanting to be arrested or drown, we decided to pack up camp and head back to Corpus Christi. As one might imagine, there were a few snafus.
You see, I had celebrated the nuptuals of my first marriage that day (and the events of the day pretty much foretold the rest of that stormy marriage, just as the wondrous day of my second marriage foretold the joy I have now), and my brothers had gone forth and become rather inebriated. Actually, that is being both kind to them and misleading to you... they engaged in the tractor-pull of hardcore drinking binges, and were forced to give wide berth to any open flames or cigarettes lest the alcohol vapor exuding from their pores cause them to spontaneously combust. The second ingredient in this recipe for amusement was the state of our camp. Our tents had collapsed under the drenching they had received, and had done so into the knee-deep river of mud that flowed through them. Thankfully, we had emptied them early in the day, so only the tents had been the victims of liquefaction. To appropriately set the scene, the row we were camping on had become a river as water flowed from the road through Participants to the EB downhill towards the rapidly growing lake at the treeline. Our tents had been caught in that flood, and as I waded through the water, I was amazed that it not only had a current- much like the fast-moving shallow river it was- but a surprisingly strong one.
And now, we bring it all together.
I foolishly enlisted the aid of the career alcoholics I call brothers, and their role model Ken, to assist me in trying to rescue our tents from a watery grave. I did not think that it was possible to make the situation worse, and drown the tents even more, but after an hour there was nary a scrap of tent to be seen, and one forlorn pole sticking up from the water like a last defiant spire of a drowned monument was all that marked their final resting place. At this point, the order became mandatory, and we were told to get the hell out, no arguments. Somehow this inspired my dear beloved brother Marty to leap backwards through the air into Ken's arms with a laughing cry of "CATCH ME! WHEEEE!", followed by a splush (not quite a splash due to the mud content of the now thigh-deep water). I turned to see marty laying on his back in the water-mud laughing and flailing as if making snow-angels, and saw a frantically waving hand emerge from the water beside him, accompanied by a torrent of mead-scented bubbles.
We pulled my sauced brother up, but could not find Ken. Somehow, he had shifted under the water, but was mired in the mud and unable to pull himself loose. We grabbed his hand as it came back up and pulled, and with a sound I can only describe as pornographically grotesque he splorched to the surface, a rust-red mud golem of drunken glory. Thus began the haggling, threats, pleas, and rock-paper-scissors games to decide who's car mud-boy was going to ride in. In the end, it was decided that he be hosed off and stuffed in Marty's car, as he was the party responsible.
We never did recover the tent. I did come back later and found where it was, the tip of a pole sticking up from the hard-baked ground, but I figure it will give some future archeologist something to ponder ;D
Best. Story. Ever. ;D
Quote from: Riot on September 21, 2012, 11:31:39 AM
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 20, 2012, 10:08:26 PM
Quote from: Riot on September 14, 2012, 07:07:35 AM
Quote from: Rani Zemirah on September 13, 2012, 04:31:01 PM
Quote from: maeven on September 13, 2012, 08:42:19 AM
Quote from: Riot on September 13, 2012, 07:38:33 AM
Quote from: maeven on September 12, 2012, 02:28:28 PM
Between my preggo self having to get up, oh every 5 minutes it seemed, to go to the port-a-potty in the middle in the freezing night, and having Teach show us Llamas in Hats (Carrrrllllllll!!!!!!!!), going to Miss April's campsite and scarfing down cake pops with spicy crackers, and visiting McShugg's camp with Meggers, I have nothing but smiles when I think of faire camping... and that was just my first time out there camping! lol...
If I make it for Halloween I plan on bring my Kreuig again too :)
Splendid ;) Especially if it's chilly like last time! :)
I always know where to find Scally on chilly mornings... :D
All I would need is someone with a Generator.. I bet I could totally convience bear to let me plug in for a bit over there in turn for hot coffee, hot chocolate, or hot tea :)
Oh, I think Dorothy and Sheila would be quite happy to convince him if he had to stop and think about it! :D They always want coffee in the morning...
Oh I"m sure they would, besides I can always pull out "But my boobs are on your wall" that usually get a good laugh from him :)
I know that picture... and what does it say about me that I can tell whose are whose? :D heheh
Not sure if I should post the Port-a-Potty of Doom, that one's pretty bad >.<
Having read that story once..yes...yes you should.
Quote from: Breandan on September 23, 2012, 11:20:13 AM
Not sure if I should post the Port-a-Potty of Doom, that one's pretty bad >.<
Saying that only makes us want to hear it more.
Quote from: scarletnyx on September 24, 2012, 08:10:17 AM
Quote from: Breandan on September 23, 2012, 11:20:13 AM
Not sure if I should post the Port-a-Potty of Doom, that one's pretty bad >.<
Saying that only makes us want to hear it more.
Indeed! Do tell!
Quote from: Riot on September 24, 2012, 09:49:28 AM
...the weekend of Lady Jessica's and my "Love & Joy" Tour...
I'm not nearly as good of a story teller as Breandan but here goes...
Riot and I had just finished with the Wine Tasting, after which, a friend bought me a spanker and had Marcella and Haley sign it. When we got back out to camp that evening we really didn't want to sit around so we grabbed a bucket of candy, two FULL bottles of loki, and she grabbed a toy cat'o'nines that she'd snagged from the pirate auction and I had my new spanker and we procceded to make our rounds to the various camps. Upon entering the first camp we came to, Drunken Gnomes, we loudly stated "We bring gifts of love and joy! Which would you like?" (Love being the loki and joy being the spankers and floggers). Once they saw that they knew us, we were set upon to share the loki and give out spankings and they shared some of their loki as well. And thus the greeting and the sharing continued around the ENTIRE campgrounds. By the time we made it back to our camp the loki was gone (mostly drunk by the two of us) the candy was gone, replaced, and gone again (not eaten buy us...except for the Blow pops), and our hands hurt from give spankings...but we also had gained 3 foot long pixi sticks, a signed picture of an Elvis impersonator, one new bottle of loki (which we finished off before we got back to camp), and so many glow sticks and flashing button I can't count them all. We had so much fun on that first round we decided to go out again but halfway through I twisted my ankle and at about that time Mike, the officer at that time, was there on his 4 wheeler so I climbed in behind him and Riot sat on the front facing him and we took turns feeding him sips of loki for the next hour as he made his run around the campgrounds.
about four years ago at faire we set up in our usual spot. sometime in the evening a group of teenege ravers set up next to us. that saturday they starting blaring their music via a complete DJ set up with speakers and all, we put up with it until around midnight then asked them politely if they would turn it down just a bit seeing as how we couldnt hear each other even if we were in the same tent. they replied by cursing us and telling us we were too old and turn up the foul crap they were plaing. at this point many of them were obviously high, drunk and on x. after talking to security and being told there was nothing they could. we once again tried diplomacy. and were greeted with the same response. at that point. Queen Amy. who is known for being mild, level headed and an most refined lady pick up a rather large oshkosh fire poking stick and preceed to attempt to take on the whole group. after we calmed her down we came up with a new plan of attack.
we surrounded their camp with our vehicles and turned our brights on. if you dont know . bright lights are not the friend of people on extasy. after much begging from the little brats for us to turn them off we came to a truce of sorts. the following morning we were thoughtful enough to set up a stereo and awaken them with a lovely opera next to their tents . being that most had only just gone to bed they didnt seem to appreciate it as much as we thought.
we were then entertained even more when a caravan of cars entered their camp and several angry mothers exited to retrieve their errand teens. as remaining ones prepared to leave they discovered the batteries in their cars had run down because they ran their equipment with it the night before.we where nearly doubled over from laughing at this point and to add to our merriment we watched as two teens came over and humbly begged our forgiveness and asked for a battery jump. we naturally obliged as we felt Karma had repaid them well. it was definitely a memorable weekend.
Quote from: LadyJessica on September 24, 2012, 01:56:18 PM
Quote from: Riot on September 24, 2012, 09:49:28 AM
...the weekend of Lady Jessica's and my "Love & Joy" Tour...
I'm not nearly as good of a story teller as Breandan but here goes...
Riot and I had just finished with the Wine Tasting, after which, a friend bought me a spanker and had Marcella and Haley sign it. When we got back out to camp that evening we really didn't want to sit around so we grabbed a bucket of candy, two FULL bottles of loki, and she grabbed a toy cat'o'nines that she'd snagged from the pirate auction and I had my new spanker and we procceded to make our rounds to the various camps. Upon entering the first camp we came to, Drunken Gnomes, we loudly stated "We bring gifts of love and joy! Which would you like?" (Love being the loki and joy being the spankers and floggers). Once they saw that they knew us, we were set upon to share the loki and give out spankings and they shared some of their loki as well. And thus the greeting and the sharing continued around the ENTIRE campgrounds. By the time we made it back to our camp the loki was gone (mostly drunk by the two of us) the candy was gone, replaced, and gone again (not eaten buy us...except for the Blow pops), and our hands hurt from give spankings...but we also had gained 3 foot long pixi sticks, a signed picture of an Elvis impersonator, one new bottle of loki (which we finished off before we got back to camp), and so many glow sticks and flashing button I can't count them all. We had so much fun on that first round we decided to go out again but halfway through I twisted my ankle and at about that time Mike, the officer at that time, was there on his 4 wheeler so I climbed in behind him and Riot sat on the front facing him and we took turns feeding him sips of loki for the next hour as he made his run around the campgrounds.
Yes Elvis was stick out of my butt, and Mike's "Drink me!" lol
I want to see how prophetic Fraser is:
"This one time at Faire, we got royally toasted and rocked the deck, similar in fashion to the scene in "Pirates of the Carribean", until it collapsed. A mass exodus of frightened 'danes screaming as they scurried into the lane, wide eyed and gawking as we brought the inn down around us. We mostly escaped with our lives, Bonnie never spilled a drop of mead, Fraser successfully executed a duck and roll, landing on his feet in the crowd of 'danes, like he had been there the whole time. Yeah, you should have been there (o:"
Quote from: Mouse on September 24, 2012, 02:34:35 PM
I want to see how prophetic Fraser is:
"This one time at Faire, we got royally toasted and rocked the deck, similar in fashion to the scene in "Pirates of the Carribean", until it collapsed. A mass exodus of frightened 'danes screaming as they scurried into the lane, wide eyed and gawking as we brought the inn down around us. We mostly escaped with our lives, Bonnie never spilled a drop of mead, Fraser successfully executed a duck and roll, landing on his feet in the crowd of 'danes, like he had been there the whole time. Yeah, you should have been there (o:"
You realize this was hypothetical/imaginary post based on the post above it in the forum from which is was pulled from, right?
Hence the inclusion of the disclaimer and the usage of prophetic...
Yes this will be the greatest tale that never was ;)
I have one story...yet it happened about a decade ago and I've never told it outside of my main faire-going group..and having read all your stories..I am sure I shall never tell it....This year, I hope to experience something noteworthy....oh do I.
Okay, you asked for it, but remember- this tale is named the Port-a-Potty Of Doom for a reason, so be ye fairly warned...
We arrived at the participants entrance late one Friday night on opening weekend back in '94, only to find our passes had not been left for us, and the rather surly ogre- spawned not from the shallow end of the gene pool, but from its splashings on the edge- at the back gate informed us in a chewing-tobacco-spittle-laced tirade to remove ourselves from his presence, that we would not be allowed to leave a driver's license behind and send one of our members to retrieve the passes, and that we had best be on our way before he got angry. I am glad to say that said individual was never seen again on faire grounds, as he had the manners of a boor and the hygiene of a rabid fecalpheliac baboon. That rant aside, we were forced to find alternate lodging in Patrons.
Now, we we were tired, had endured another of our epic trips up from Corpus Christi- this one involving a hypervelocity sleep-deprivation-spawned mouse (which is another story entirely), and a plastic bag of death (which is yet another story that would get us locked up in a padded room wearing hug-me jackets)- so, we parked at the first available spot and dumped our sleeping bags onto our tarp on the ground, no tent. Along the way up, however, we had stopped at a truck stop that shall remain nameless (however, tis on 59 between Victoria and Sugarland) where we had foolishly eaten some of the local cuisine. My brother being the more daring, had three breakfast taquitos and a corn dog to my cheeseburger, and had- as one might expect- been visited by the food poisoning fairy.
As luck would have it, our journey had ended with our encampment being a stone's throw from a port-a-potty, which Marty made prolific and copious use of throughout the evening. I shall spare the audience the details of the noises that emerged from said tabernacle-of-excretion except to say that at some point I swear it sounded like an octopus trying to wrestle with a bobcat in a tub filled with jello and whoopie cushions. I covered my head and tried to sleep. Alas, twas not to be. At around 0330, some poor soul- besotted out of his mind by pre-opening ritual binge-drinking- chose to use that particular port-a-potty. In my half-asleep state, I heard the creaky springs of the door as it opened, the slam of the door shutting... and a sudden and quite loud scream of "OH MY GOD!!!!", promptly followed by the sounds of the door being thrown open and someone running and retching simultaneously. Marty did not wake to this, which proved to be his downfall the next morn.
Dawn woke us with it's demonic sadistic little fingers of light stabbing through our eyelids. When we could suffer the noise of the horde of hangovers-on-feet crawling out of their tents and moaning like the damned, and the stabbing of the Day Star's daggers of light crowbarred our brains awake, we arose. Marty stumbled to the port-a-potty and opened the door, stepped in, and literally fell backwards out of it and crab-crawled away from it so fast my drill sergeants at Fort Benning would've wept with pride. He got back to the camp, shaken and somewhat green of tinge, and asked me what the hell happened in there. I pointed at his backside and said "You unleashed the seventh, eighth, ninth, and the unexplored, undiscovered TENTH levels of hell, followed by a legion of shyte demons from Tarterus out of your backside, defiling the heretofore undefilable, and couldn't even give humanity the decency of a courtesy flush since it was a portajohn. The CDC is on it's way to declare your arse a superfund biohazard site and begin cleanup."
I had no sooner finished chastising my younger brother than another poor soul walked into the port-a-potty. Like knowing bystanders who had seen a bomb in a building, we rushed towards the doomed man yelling "NO! DON'T GO IN THERE!"... alas, too late. With results identical to the night before, including the appeal to a higher power at the top of his lungs, the man stumbled from the port-a-potty gagging and running for the treeline by the train tracks, though whether to finish his business in communion with nature, or throw himself onto the tracks in the hopes of a merciful demise that would erase what he had just witnessed with all of his senses I know not. We tacked a note on the door labeling it the "Port-a-Potty Of Doom! Do Not Enter!" and left for the back gate, where we found our passes waiting (finally), and entered, holding to plausible deniability of any further events involving the portal to Golgoth we left behind.
Breandan your stories are really making the passing time til faire enjoyable! ;D
That's insane, B! lol...
And much credit to his lineage, the stories get better with every telling. I wonder how vaulted story tellers are in Ireland and if they still merit free room and board for a good story....
Breandan. i was laughing so hard i had tears in my eyes.
I had an interesting one happen this weekend, but... well, it's very adult, and involves some elements some folks will find offensive, so I cannot share, alas. I CAN say that the stories continue to pile up :D
Quote from: Breandan on October 08, 2012, 04:59:40 PM
I had an interesting one happen this weekend, but... well, it's very adult, and involves some elements some folks will find offensive, so I cannot share, alas. I CAN say that the stories continue to pile up :D
Hmmmm... you had "Breandan" kind of fun, eh? ;) :D