What humorous quotes have you heard about Faires or Rennies?
Please - nothing vicious ----
To Start off:
A Rennie is never drunk as long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth.
Renaissance faire pick up line- " I have had a Shower!"
Does "nii!" count?
At the local dive that evening:
"Well I blew my nose in the bathroom and it came out black everytime.... yep, it was a good day."
"A Rennie is never drunk as long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth."
...I had always heard that was a Scotman!
No way.....it's an Irishman.
One that I have heard used (in realtion to a mock- fight with about 5in the larger group against one scot) " It's a trap! there's two of them!"
Well, I heard 'I may not be a priest but I can get thee to heaven!'
when you have a baby or toddler in one of those backpack carrying things, you'll hear: "Sir, you have a growth on your back!" a hundred times.
While getting a henna one year I heard a funny convo that was relevant to that ^. A girl walked by with a large hat on. A man said "Miss, you have a growth on your head."
Her retort: "you have some ugly on your face!" haha! ;D (both were cast member, I believe)
I ran into Columbina of the interpeters in the bathroom at NCRF. My 2 year old niece was playing with the water in the sink and Columbina was throwing water from her sink into my nieces to hear her laugh. She asked me how old she was and I told her 2 years old. The she smiled and said "When I was her age I was 5!"
Quote from: Angus on August 14, 2008, 01:22:30 AM
"A Rennie is never drunk as long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth."
...I had always heard that was a Scotman!
Ha ... I resemble that remark ...
I have heard so many but my favorites always revolve around the nut & jerkey guys ...
... eat my meat and taste his nuts ...
.. try the Kings nuts, they can be salty, sweet, etc ... you know your curious!
Needless to say they can go on and on, but you get the point. It is really fun when you ask them a bunch of question about their products ... try it some time.
From an extremely attractive woman selling pretzels at Scarborough...
"Buy hot twisted bread from a hot twisted wench."
And it worked.
Overheard, said by a man to a woman while (I think) she was trying on a bodice:
"I only know how to take them off, I can't lace them!"
Or something to that effect.
I hit on a guy with this one...
"You see,trolls don't turn to stone in sunlight...they don't turn to stone in candlelight either..."
Also about lacing a bodic
If you can breath it is not tight enough! :o
Quote from: KeeperoftheBar on September 26, 2008, 07:02:12 AM
From an extremely attractive woman selling pretzels at Scarborough...
"Buy hot twisted bread from a hot twisted wench."
Nice!!
Reminds me of the pickle guys, "Taste my big, juicy, salty, hard pickle"
After 7 years, I still get a kick out of when I introduce myself to mundanes.
(bows) "Mess in M' cleavage"
"You want me to what?"
"Messyn McCleavage, of the Clan McCleavage," (matter of factly.)
"There's.. a whole CLAN of you?!"
"Aye, and I'm the smallest of the clan."
(stutters gibberish)
"If you spill your ale again I shall have to flog you."
One of my first trips to faire, at the end of the day, one of the people my friends had introduced me to was saying good-bye. As we parted ways to walk to our cars, he yells the following:
"Be good!" (turns and takes a few steps)
"Oh, but...if you can't be good, be good at it!"
(turns and takes a few more steps)
"And, uh, if that's the case, may I be present?"
I've never forgotten that, and I still giggle every time someone tells me to be good. =D
Quote from: jinx on October 23, 2008, 08:03:10 PM
One of my first trips to faire, at the end of the day, one of the people my friends had introduced me to was saying good-bye. As we parted ways to walk to our cars, he yells the following:
"Be good!" (turns and takes a few steps)
"Oh, but...if you can't be good, be good at it!"
(turns and takes a few more steps)
"And, uh, if that's the case, may I be present?"
I've never forgotten that, and I still giggle every time someone tells me to be good. =D
HA!
My Grandfather had a similar saying. When I was in college if he was at the house when we were going out on a Friday night he would say "Be careful....... and if you can't be careful, name it after me!"
Coming from a 70 year old man always CRACKED my friends up.
For years, I have been telling the lasses I am only good at getting them out of their dresses when asked to lace bodices (I really am no good at lacing...)
While speaking with a lass about playing my Countess... an idea she seemed fond of but reluctant to actually commit to, I told her "this is the hardest I've ever worked trying to put a woman INTO a dress..."
Many thanks to the brilliant puntificator who gave me "Remember, in a Democracy it's your vote that counts... but in a feudalism, it's your Count that votes."
I was at a local Faire when I used this variation on an old joke... "Before ye judge a man, ye should walk a mile in 'is boots. That way, if he goes for 'is sword, ye be a mile away... and ye 'ave 'is boots"
During Roguings, a mastery of the tongue is a most desirable trait and while in my earlier years in the Guild, I stole... er... 'appropriated' this gem from a more experienced chap-
"From the moment I first laid eyes on ye, I thought to myself... 'Aphrodite must be so p---ed off right now'"
I was at the NY Faire and overheard a couple ask a woman in noble garb "Do you know where the bathrooms are?" to which she replied "of course... you don't think I'd soil such fineries, do you?" and spun around as if modeling the gown... then started to walk away as if she weren't going to help them.
Quote from: Count Adolfo on October 24, 2008, 10:17:40 AM
I was at the NY Faire and overheard a couple ask a woman in noble garb "Do you know where the bathrooms are?" to which she replied "of course... you don't think I'd soil such fineries, do you?" and spun around as if modeling the gown... then started to walk away as if she weren't going to help them. /quote]
On these occasions, when asked this question we have raised our voices on high and announced a "PRIVIE PARADE" and escorted the lady to the Privies to the utter embarassment of her and her entire clan. We do the same with the men as well, just so we are not accused of gender bigotry, which by the way is legal in our time frame.
We just put up for sale a chainmaille shirt in our sword booth. A young lad asked his mother, "Is this what they used to wear before they had clothes?" His mother answered, "Yes."
A Renaissance faire is just an excuse to wear funny clothing and run amok. (attributed to James Dooley Green)
(I'm tempted to add ... Among other activities of course!)
My partner's famous saying especially for pirates:
Be good or don't get caught! (http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y287/RumbaRue/pirateme-vi.gif)
When my mom first got into faires with me her favorite was CRF because of Queen Eleanor. It got to where the two of them would look for each other and carry on hour long conversations, but with my mom in modern voice and the Queen in period. I would have to walk away to keep from laughing because they understood each other without having to ask to explain what they were saying. MOM~ I thought you would be here!
QUEEN~ Good day my dear friend. I have searched for thee
among the hour - and you have with you your mobile chair.
To those who are confused, My mom would find her first and call out to her, totally ignoring the royalty around them, like she would call out to a family member. The Queen would stop what she was doing to come talk to my mom, while still in character! And momma was in her wheel chair (mobile chair). You see why I had to walk away at times?
Quote from: Messyn McCleavage on October 28, 2008, 09:17:49 AM
We just put up for sale a chainmaille shirt in our sword booth. A young lad asked his mother, "Is this what they used to wear before they had clothes?" His mother answered, "Yes."
Chainmaile, what people wore before inventing clothes. thats priceless
When people ask me why I wear a tail I say "everyone needs a little tail" :P
People are constantly coming up to me and asking (due to what I am wearing, see photo to the left)
"Aren't you hot?"
To the ladies I respond "Why thank you, m'lady."
To the gentles I respond "Thank you, but my preferences are not that way leaning."
I always get asked if the bodice is tight by the 'danes mostly by the me
I respond in my sweetest voice "No my Lord they are naturally this perky" normally causing the rest of thier group to snort thier beverage out thier nose
Quote from: Angus on August 14, 2008, 01:22:30 AM
"A Rennie is never drunk as long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth."
...I had always heard that was a Scotman!
Way I heard it, it was, a good bar tender doesn't stop pouring unless you can't hold onto a blade of grass and you fall off the earth.
One of my faves is when danes ask about the kilt. We all know the lines that go with it.
To recieve a favor from the Town Criers Apprentice of Scarborough Village, a friend of mine, I was made to walk before a large group of 'danes sitting by the pub and all of them walking down the lane and yell very loudly to hawk for the Kings Nuts, three times-
"My, these nuts are not only warm, but hairless!"
Steve and I went to a new indoor Renaissance Festival in Madison, Wisconsin this afternoon. I am having some medical testing done and thus for the next few days have to eat a limited and special diet, so I knew I wouldn't be able to eat anything at the faire. We stopped at Culver's on the way, because I brought my food list with me and knew there were things there I could eat.
We wore our pirate garb today, although I hadn't put on bodice yet and neither of us had on our hats. I wore my coat in and kept it on inside, because it was cold. Steve wore what we have on in the picture & just ran in.
(http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e109/LadyReneeBuchanan/P1010022-1.jpg)
I forgot to get napkins before sitting down and ran back to get some, so I missed it. Steve told me later that a boy about 10 or 11 who was eating with his family, turned around and saw Steve & said to his mother, "Mom, there's a guy back there dressed as an elf."
You and Steve look so cute! I miss you both!
Quote from: Lady Nicolette on December 14, 2008, 06:44:21 PM
You and Steve look so cute! I miss you both!
Ya mean, we don't look like fearsome and dreaded pirates? lol ;)
We miss you, too, Nickie. But Bristol's a comin.... (hint, hint to you and Athena ;D )
I always wear my Great Kilt at the TRF. It never fails that when I pass by a vendor station, a serving wench has got to yell out, "TURKEY LE-E-E-EGS!!" It's me, right?!
"A rennie isn't a rennie if his head has not hat"
i think there is surely a double entendre in there somewhere.
Everyone knows about nut vendors and the funny things those men will say...but its even funnier when you deny them because you're allergic...its even better if you've got you're main man with you..."poor lad"
I always crack up at the knife throwing guy barking for his upcoming show on the bridge at Scarby
"Knife throwing show at 11:00.... get there early... it may be a short show, I haven't warmed up yet. Also....need some new volunteers."
Quote from: Jack Daw at Work on February 04, 2009, 01:34:04 PM
I always wear my Great Kilt at the TRF. It never fails that when I pass by a vendor station, a serving wench has got to yell out, "TURKEY LE-E-E-EGS!!" It's me, right?!
Probably not....but it was funny. ;D