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Candles for Prayer => Candles for Prayer => Topic started by: Dracconia on October 06, 2009, 07:34:32 AM

Title: Prayers needed
Post by: Dracconia on October 06, 2009, 07:34:32 AM
November 21 will be the tenth year anniversary of my father's death. I am okay with these things, but my family is not.
I was 10 when it happened, so literally half of my life has been spent missing him, but my sister was only 3. She doesn't have memories, and so she makes them up. My mom and I tell her stories and she makes more memories up, and she really believes that they happened. We don't tell her otherwise, because it is her only connection to our daddy. My mom still doesn't date, she doesn't see anyone else as worthy. I won't be here much longer, and I fear that as I slip away, and begin to look at my household from the out side just a bit....they haven't begun to deal with it. They seem stuck, it's as if can't see past him....to move on. I loved my daddy, and I know he would have wanted us to be happy and move on...I still cry sometimes and miss him, but I don't feel as if that is holding me back, but I fear that my sister's anger at all things and my mom's dependency on the two of us...is unhealthy....I don't know...maybe I am over analyzing...I tend to worry to much...but prayers for my family would be appreciated.

And advice, if you have any....would be welcome...
Title: Re: Prayers needed
Post by: lady serena on October 10, 2009, 04:06:20 PM
I don't have any advice Dracconia, but you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts, the loss of a loved one is never easy to deal even if it has been awhile. ((((Hugs))))
Title: Re: Prayers needed
Post by: renren on October 10, 2009, 05:59:48 PM
You'll be in my thoughts, Drac, you and your family!

I know, it's not most peoples first choice, and it can be expensive, depending on insurance... but what about seeing a therapist, perhaps as a group?
Title: Re: Prayers needed
Post by: Lady Amy of York on October 13, 2009, 02:21:11 PM
Hugs  Drac. Know  we all love  you on here  and if  you ever  nedd  to talk or  cry we are here with  you.
   I agree with Ren Ren , maybe  the  three of  you need  to talk  to  someone.
Title: Re: Prayers needed
Post by: wyckdblyss on October 14, 2009, 08:51:04 AM
I have to concur with the others, I really think a long talk with a professional would do you all a world of good.

You are in my thoughts hun. *HUGS*
Title: Re: Prayers needed
Post by: Rani Zemirah on October 14, 2009, 09:05:29 AM
You've been given the best advice there, hon, and that's to see a family counselor, possibly even a grief counselor.  They can help you all process the emotions around the loss of your dad, and also teach you the tools you need to help each other.  I would urge you to visit a professional instead of a religious leader, simply because the first will have more practical day-to-day suggestions for dealing with this than your local pastor, and can help you all start moving through the grieving process again from wherever you might have stalled. 

I know how hard it is to lose the most influential man in your life.  I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers, sweetie, and sending comforting and healing energy your way.