Unappreciative Receivers of items

[LadyStitch]

After a co worker came into work in near tears I wanted to toss this out to all of you.  She spent the past few weeks making a baby blanket for a friend of her's baby shower, which was the previous night.  It didn't go well.  She was ridiculed by some of the other guests, and the guest of honor because they felt she should have just bought something instead of making "such a trashy home made item". 
Have any of you run into unappreciative gift receivers? How do you react?

I've got a bibbed overall outfit I made for a co-worker's baby shower on Friday.  It is just the boy version of an outfit I made Fuzzlet. It was all stash except for the snap tape, and appliqué. If she likes it, she likes it.  If she doesn't, it is her loss. I'm only out $4, and I learned what fabrics work for this pattern, and which don't. No biggie to me.

Right now I'm dealing with someone who can't understand why I didn't give her child a gift. Back in March he threw a temper tantrum in the middle of a craft show in order to get an item.  He proceeded to flaunt and go nanna nna boo boo to his cousins that he had it and they didn't.  To level the playing field I made each of the cousins & siblings the same identical item.   Didn't cost much, and really took little time for me.  They even made me thank you cards for doing it for them.  Who do you think I'll make more items for?
Now the mom is hacked I didn't make him one.  Granted this is the same mom that threw a fit for me to make her son a Diego panel shirt, which I did.  However she wouldn't let him wear it because it was too "Special."  Why would I want to make something for her child whose selfishness and uncontrolled behavior caused the problem in the first place? 

[Lady De Rue Rue]

For your co - worker this is my personal take on the issue.  A gift is a gift, whether it is homemade or store bought, the recipient should have accepted the gift graciously and kept her comments to herself.  That was really mean for that to happen and very selfish on the recipient's part.

I personally, like homemade gifts because it shows that someone really took time (their own personal time) to make a gift.  The quality can vary from excellent to decent but, the point being is that someone went above and beyond the standard norm of just buying something.  I know this because I sew and not everyone knows how much time and effort is involed in sewing something.

Kids and gifts are hard to deal with, I always make our daughter sign thank you notes (I write them for her she's only 3 yrs) when ever she receives a gift. Not all parents are like this as I have found and everyone has different circumstances on what is going on in their life so, I have LOW expectations on receiving thank you notes. 

As for the mom who want to know why you don't make anything for her son that's a hard one.

[Rowan MacD]

  I've come across shower-ees that made it abundantly clear they only wanted gifts from their registry at Target or Walmart.  This tends to chap me, so I drop a ten spot in the gift basket, knowing that the snark factor will probably be lost on the mom to be anyway. 
  Good manners are lost on a lot of people. 

[Auryn]

Ohhhh man
I feel for your coworker.
If I had been her and that had happened to me, I would have snatched my gift right out of the ungrateful recipient's hands and exclaimed that if she wanted it back she could pay $100 for it. But then again I have no problem telling jerks what I think of them. I would have turned around and left the shower right then and there, I won't suffer fools.
Regardless of the quality your coworker spent time and money in making it.
I guarantee you that the jerks that were that uncouth as to say that to her, don't have a single creative or talented bone in their body and purposely made those comments to make her feel bad and make themselves feel better for being so boorish and ignorant.

I've never had that situation happen to me because I am very selective of who I make things for.

In regards to your situation, I think you acted perfectly.
When the misbehaving child's mother confronted you about why you didn't make one for her child, I would have explained it to her exactly the same way you explained it to us.
Unfortunately a lot of jerks behave the way they do because noone ever has the guts to confront them and tell them they are being jerks and turning their kids into brats.

Don't feel bad about what you did, I commend you for taking a small step in teaching this child that screaming and hissy fit throwing and being a jerk has consequences

[LadyStitch]

One of the best gifts that I have gotten so far for fuzzlet was a little hat and booties my SIL made.  She is learning to knit, and really wanted to make SOMETHING. Are they top of the line, amazingly made?  Nope, but you can tell how much love and effort she put in it. They are made with love, and dropped stitches or knobby at places, they will still keep her warm.  That is what matters to me.   Add in another SIL made a "keep sake" box for her.  She spent the time to decorate the box specially for Fuzzlet. I know it means more that she made it instead of just store bought.
I actually was surprised that my mother thought I would be offended and think her "hillbilly" because she wanted to crochet a blanket for our kiddo.   Frankly I think it makes it more special that some one took the time to make something, no matter how it turns out.  
I told my co worker that I love handmade gifts and if she wanted to make something for our child I would appreciate it because of the effort she put into making it. Made her smile.

Auryn:
The funniest look I ever got from a kid was one who I was baby sitting for a little bit.  He screamed he wanted something. I wouldn't let him have it.  When he screamed louder I turned to him, and said in a dead pan voice, "The more you scream the more you are not getting it."  His look of  "But.. But... But.." was priceless.

[Adriana Rose]

Ive never had anyone say that to me and if they did I might have taken it back and left.

All the stuff that my mother and I have made for our family is loved. Mom made blankets for all of her grandkids and they are all of the kids got to blankies. The stuffies that I make for them are close to being beaten to death because of the loe the kiddos give them.

The weirdest reaction that I have had was for a stuffed dinosaur that I gave a good friends 2 year old. She unwrapped it washed him then wrapped him again, I may have stuffed him a tad too much so some he looked a little hairy with stuffing that wiggled throught the weave. But the kiddo HAS to have his duckie dino to go to sleep!

[Auryn]

Adriana,
your friend washed the dino and rewrapped it to give to her kid??
did she think he needed a shower and a shave??

[LadyStitch]

I had someone do that to a fleece blanket I made them.  They thought it was a store bought and wanted to make sure it was clean enough for their kiddo. She didn't realize it was handmade until she was looking at it closely.

  Then again, I would wash ANYTHING my mom made for my kiddo because I know how many animals she has, and how much she smokes.  I would want to make sure it was "clean" before I let fuzzlet touch it.

[Francisco Paula]

To be honest some people are so materialistic and have to have the newest stuff.

Some of the best things i have was made for me and i think when its home made it shows you put more thought and time into it.

Right now i have a second cousin that i do love dearly but she is having a baby shower for her third kid. Now i was always under the impression you only have a baby shower for your first child. I'm i wrong on this?

Oh and i do love making things myself, one christmas party for work instead of buying a gift i made a dreamcatcher, it was the only gift that night that had 3 steals on it in the gift exchange.

[Adriana Rose]

She's a tad nerotic ocdish

I warned that he may need a bath because I have dogs but the shower and shave were optional

[Merlin the Elder]

It wasn't something we made, but Nimue and I offered the engagement ring I bought her to my son to give to his intended. He was overcome with gratitude...she wasn't.  He did get it back before he divorced her... 

Nim talked to co-workers, and they sided with my ex-DIL. Is it just that my generation places more intrinsic value on certain things? I still have drawings hanging in my office that my son did when he was 7 or 8 years old. They mean as much or more to me than anything else that I've ever gotten.

To me, something hand-made means that someone cared.

[Rowan MacD]

Right now i have a second cousin that i do love dearly but she is having a baby shower for her third kid. Now i was always under the impression you only have a baby shower for your first child. I'm i wrong on this?

I thought the same...Per Miss Manners:
"If the shower is for a second or subsequent baby (these babies deserve a celebration, too!), the guest list is usually made up of close friends and family and anyone who was, for whatever reason, not invited to the first shower."

  However, it's considered less acceptable to have showers for subsequent weddings (though it's done all the time, especially for Celebrities).
  Since a shower of any kind is supposed to be done for the expectant parents or bride to be by a third party I don't see that the guest of honor really has any input other than declining the offer.

[isabelladangelo]

Ohhhh man
I feel for your coworker.
If I had been her and that had happened to me, I would have snatched my gift right out of the ungrateful recipient's hands and exclaimed that if she wanted it back she could pay $100 for it. But then again I have no problem telling jerks what I think of them. I would have turned around and left the shower right then and there, I won't suffer fools.
Regardless of the quality your coworker spent time and money in making it.
I guarantee you that the jerks that were that uncouth as to say that to her, don't have a single creative or talented bone in their body and purposely made those comments to make her feel bad and make themselves feel better for being so boorish and ignorant.

I've never had that situation happen to me because I am very selective of who I make things for.

In regards to your situation, I think you acted perfectly.
When the misbehaving child's mother confronted you about why you didn't make one for her child, I would have explained it to her exactly the same way you explained it to us.
Unfortunately a lot of jerks behave the way they do because noone ever has the guts to confront them and tell them they are being jerks and turning their kids into brats.

Don't feel bad about what you did, I commend you for taking a small step in teaching this child that screaming and hissy fit throwing and being a jerk has consequences

This! 

Although, I am curious as to the quality of the child's blanket given the reaction.  I know when my baby brother was born MANY years ago, I received a matching homemade doll blanket for his crib blanket.  I still have it in the closet and it's still amazing to me the quality of it. 

[Adriana Rose]

Some people have the manners of wild dogs thats the only thing that I can think of so yeah.

[Rowan MacD]

It wasn't something we made, but Nimue and I offered the engagement ring I bought her to my son to give to his intended. He was overcome with gratitude...she wasn't.  He did get it back before he divorced her... 
Nim talked to co-workers, and they sided with my ex-DIL. Is it just that my generation places more intrinsic value on certain things?

I'm glad he got the ring back.  I asked around my office and this is what I heard:
  Apparently the engagement ring is supposed to represent the grooms' intention to provide material support to the bride to be and the ring is considered her property once she goes through with the wedding, heirloom or not. Wedding rings can be passed down, returned to the giver, and are frequently requested in divorce settlements particularly if it is an heirloom, but engagement rings are usually not even if they are big, well known pieces.
 Price William used Diana's ring, but it was a gift from his brother, and he gifted it in turn to his wife.  Kate is not expected to return the ring should she get divorced.

  Back to the original topic:  It is the height of bad taste not to accept a gift given in good faith, or to critisize any gift offered as such while in the presence of the giver, no matter how humble.  It shows a lack of manners as well as good grace and is an outright insult to the giver.
  Public figures frequently donate or give away excess gifts, but never turn them down or send them back.  That is just common good manners.