heartbroken

[lordwriothsley]

Happy Birthday Ron. You still as always remain in our hearts.

[Ferret]

Happy Birthday Ron.

On this Easter day we have your Lady in our thoughts and prayers.
Ferret

[lordwriothsley]

quote:
On this Easter day we have your Lady in our thoughts and prayers.

Indeed. Happy Easter to you Lady Gloriana.

[Lady_Glorianna]

I will be brief because I am still not well. As previously posted, I had planned to spend Easter/Ron's Birthday with my relatives. Well, in the wee hours of Sunday I got violently sick and remained like that throughout the day. Some of it stopped but I am still dizzy, achy and weak. None the less, and since I have no leave, I have to get back to work tomorrow. I know I should concern myself with the day at hand but I wonder what will happen Saturday (six mo. mark) and if my relatives are right and I am making myself sick.

[Ferret]

I wish I knew the words that would comfort you.

You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Ferret

[lordwriothsley]

I am so sorry to hear of your recently illness Lady G.

God Bless you and you are still in my thoughts and prayers m'lady.

[Lady_Glorianna]

I guess I would say I feel numb, angry, lost and confused. Half of me is gone, arguably the best part. Even though we did not have a long marriage by some standards - six years three months plus five years three months of friendship, we loved each other deeply. We were made for each other. We are soulmates.

I was a very strong, independent woman when Ron met me. He used to say that this is one of the things he was attracted to the most. The truth is that I can never be the same woman I was before. Having Ron in my life has changed it forever. I was loved, treasured, spoiled and protected by the most intelligent, intuitive, nurturing, handsome man.

There is no rhyme or reason in doing some of the things I used to do like taking an all day shopping trip. It does not make sense plus in reality, I always had him to share in what I was doing. He did not see any sense in it but would never say so.

We had so much in common that there is not one day where I encounter something or that something happens that would make me think of him, how he would have reacted, what he would have said or how much he would have enjoyed it.

I had to say that I was his widow, and I started to cry, Even writing this, I am crying. I recently heard someone say that time does not heal or makes you forget but that what time does is to make things more tolerable. I think I agree with that.

Maybe THE plan was for me to love him and to make him happy. Now I realize this might sound selfish but what about me? Am I to continue to have this hole in my life, knowing what I am missing? He knew mw, even at those times when I did not know me, myself. He loved me, protected me, and showed me the world but this was good only because he was there to share. So, what now?

They said in support group that in the beginning you cope and then you survive. I think I will be coping for the rest on my life.

I have appointments tomorow with the pain doctor and the grief counselor

[lordwriothsley]

Lady G don't ever think that there is nobody out there that does not love you cause that is just not true. I think I can speak for just about everyone on here in that we all do love you very much. Hey isn't that Fairmily is for. One good thing about having people that love you is the fact that we all share in each others pain and we all hurt when one we love is hurting.

One thing you never have to worry about is not having anyone to turn to cause like I said before that is just not true and believe me when I say that that is something that Ron would not want for you. You know what absolutely amazes me about you is the fact that whenever you talk about Ron I can just feel and see in my mind the love that you two shared and to be honest with you just that thought alone has really pulled me out of some pretty stressful times myself.

I know right now that words probably aren't enough to ease the pain that you have been going through since Ron's passing but please allow me to say to you what I have said to you before and that is that you are still in my thoughts, my prayers, and most importantly my heart.

I love you my friend and may God Bless and keep you as always dear lady. 

[Ferret]

Have you talked with your counselors about how you were before marriage ? I'm wondering if you have to go back farther to get you through the loss you suffered ?

You are loved and cared about by family and friends. You remain in my thoughts in prayers. I sincerely hope it helps you.
Ferret

[Lady_Glorianna]

Well, I am still around. I am getting the third injection on Tuesday. If that does not work well...The pain doc gave me a dvd about an electronic stimulator that they can implant on my back that I guess she thinks might work. Other than that it would be back to the back doc and if Dept of Labor ever agrees more surgery.

Other than that I have an appointment with my counselor today...

[lordwriothsley]

I'm glad to hear that your still around and doing well Lady G. As always we love you and you are still in our thoughts and prayers.

[Lady Amy of York]

You continue  to  be  in my thoughts  and prayers  girlfriend, and  remember  you have  people on here  who care about  you  and  love  you.   

[Lady_Glorianna]

I will be here briefly because I had my shot today and i am in lot of pain. I think I will be home the rest of the week...

[lordwriothsley]

Lady G the main thing here is to take care of yourself, take it easy, and get lots of rest.

You are still in my thoughts and prayers lass.

Hugs to you as always dear lady.

[Queen Bonnie]

 I usually do not read this thread- it still hurts too much. I carry on. Take things one day at a time. Too much else is too scary.
I could not have gotten through the pain of losing my husband without all the help here.
Hugs!  You are in my thoughts. I know you will find strength!