Need some good thoughts

[WindChime]

Well I have not updated for awhile and I thought I would share what is going on as of now.
1. I have lost 120 lbs in 18 months and have between 40 - 59 more pounds to go.

2. I have to have another foot surgery on Nov. 16 on the left foot again as I have a cyst that is on the bottom of my heel and is causing tons of pain when I walk now.

3.After going to the Social Security court hearing in June and being told to see one of their Doctors that July the judge finally decided that I have to come back in Feb. 2012 to be seen be the judge for hopefully the last time. I really hope they agree that I am disable like 3 different Doctors have said already.

I find it very odd that with this massive weight loss that I have more pain now then I had all the extra weight to carry around. I can at least stand upright, not all hunched over in pain like I use to but I seem to get a lot more muscle spasm now.

Thanks for every ones support and kind thoughts threw all of this.

[lordwriothsley]

Prayers continue to come your way WindChime. Please continue to keep us updated on how you are doing my dear.

[WindChime]

I have my Social Security Disability Hearing  Feb. 6, 2012 which is tomorrow. 
I hope they decide in my favor, I'm really worried they will say sorry your back isn't bad enough go find a job some where.
I just don't understand how I have lost so much weight and am still only able to do things for very short periods of time or not at all, I feel like such a burden on my parents some times because there are some things I can't physically do and they understand but I still feel bad, especially with my 2 year old niece who doesn't understand why her favorite aunt can't do things with her or pick her up anymore since she is now almost 40 pounds and way pass my 5 pound limit.

[Anna Iram]

Keeping you in my thoughts today, Windchime. Hope all goes well with the boatd and that will be one less thing for you tp worry over.

As to being a burden, your family loves you. You know, you're not less lovable now that you need extra help. Learn to accept their love without conditions.

Don't fall into the trap of what you can no longer do. True, you are now challenged, but there is always a way to do most everything you did before. Just in a different way.

Keep your spirits up. I know it's hard when you are in pain, You'll get through this patch of rocks in the road.

[WindChime]

Well I got the times wrong for my court hearing today and I missed it but my lawyer said neither her or the judge had any new questions for me anyway, they were mostly there to discuss the findings from the social security doctor. I think it went my way since she is now arguing about when my back pay should start from since I have been medically not allowed to work since 2009 and the judge wanted to start my back pay from when I saw their doctor last July. The judge said that we would hear something in the next couple of months.

[lordwriothsley]

Hey WindChime sorry i'm so late in responding as things have just been extremely crazy for me as of late but after reading your last two posts I have to agree with Anna Iram on the first one in particular though. Don't ever feel that you are a burden to yourself or your family cause they all understand that you can't do all the things you used to do and want to do as well, however it's like Anna already said that even though you now have limits on what you can do that you can still do them but just in other ways though. As far your little two year old niece goes the best thing I can tell you is to give her time and she will understand eventually why you can't do the things that you used to be able to do with her but that does not mean that she doesn't love you any less cause of the shape that your back is in though. As far as your Social Security Disability Hearing goes I am glad that it seems to have gone your way but am still continuing to keep my fingers crossed and pray that it totally works out in your favor though. Anyway just know that we (your fairemily) are all here for you if or whenever you need us so don't ever hesitate to ask for prayers or good thoughts whenever you need them.

As always thanks for the update and continue to keep them coming. Also you are still in my thoughts and prayers as usual.

Love and Hugs to you as always my dear.

[WindChime]

Thanks everyone.
I went to the doctor on Monday Feb.20 for my 3 month check up and told her about my sneezing issue I have been having for awhile now and she was very concerned and sent me for a MRI with a contrast. Sunday night was the worst episode by far. I sneezed, heard my back pop, felt something shift in my back then lost the feeling in both legs for a hour. When the feeling did come back I had a stabbing feeling that still hasn't gone away 24 hours and a lot of pills later. She is worried that scar tissue from the back surgery is either putting pressure on the spinal cord or one of my other disc is getting worst.

[WindChime]

My M.R.I. didn't really show them all that much because of the inflammation in there even with the dye contrast they didn't see a whole lot.

I finally got my letter stating that I won my disability case and they agreed that I should get paid starting from 2009.

Now I wait for the check to show up, at least they will send my lawyer her check so I don't go into shock writing that check.

[WindChime]

Sorry I haven't updated you guys with everything that has been going on with me.

I went to my back doctor in April because my back had been hurting 100 times more then normal even with all of my pain meds and muscle relaxers I was still hurting.  He took a x-ray and didn't like what he saw so he sent me for a M.R.I., needless to say the new M.R.I. showed that my S1 disc is dead so now the last 2 disc are dead on my spine. His answer is to do my surgery now to fuse it.

I wanted to wait until after the Ohio Renaissance Festival was over and he made a face at me, my mom said that would be in November after I packed the shop up and did the yard up for Halloween. He made the odd gasping noise and said "NO". So we came to a agreement that I could do it after the Kentucky Renaissance Festival. Not the weekend I wanted because he was on vacation.

So on July 22nd I finally got the spinal fusion I have been working on for 3 years. It only took a 140 pond weight loss and the death of another disc to finally get it done. Now I'm going thru the fun process of healing with 2 - 6" incisions on the front and back and a 3" incision on my hip were they took some bone from the front and back of my pelvic / hip area. Sadly the hip area is the one spot that hurts more then the big cuts. I get pain that goes from my lower back to my toes in my left leg. I also have a lovely turtle shell I have to ware for at least 3 months which is up on my birthday.

I just hope this helps because so far I haven't notice any difference in the pain or pins n needle feelings in my legs, I know it will take time because of the swelling needs to go down and my nerves need to relearn they are not being squished any longer.
I also hope this doesn't interfere to much with me running my shop at ORen in a few weeks. I'm lucky I have some friends and family who have volunteered to help me get the shop stocked and all pretty. 

[LissaRoisin]

I'm glad you were able to get that done