Authentic Sailor grub

[Capt Robertsgrave Thighbiter]

'It tastes right though and its hard as hell.'

Yep, you got it right.  My wife has a recipe for ships biscuits that calls for letting the dough rise 12-15 times and beating it back each time.  Hard as hell as you say and tastes about like what you'd expect water and flour to taste like.

If you really feel that to portray a pirate you must eat like one, heres a list of things to try:

Rats
Weevils ( especially when rubbed on the gums to prevent scurvey)
Soft leather, used to cover the lanyards of the rigging
Drag a net overboard in salt waters, and boil up what ever is in the net
Bark

Bon appetite'