Ren Fest and Body Image

[lady serena]

Thank you Charolette for starting this thread. BRAVO Emerald Shaunassey, very well stated!

[Charlotte Rowan]

And although I mainly came to terms with my body years ago, I can't help feeling a little put down sometimes.

I guess what I'd want to know is, what is it that makes you feel put down? Is it just the general emphasis on cleavage, or are there more personal slights?

Personally, I think sexy is far more about attitude than looks (though looks certainly don't hurt). And it's a matter of emphasizing one's own attributes.

I remember faire last year, there was a very beautiful, thin woman. I have no idea what her front side looked like, but she was wearing a backless outfit and had a gorgeous tattoo. Even without the tattoo, I think the whole backless thing is super sexy since it shows off so much skin not often seen. Plus, while even thin women struggle with a wee bit of belly, or think they need to be super toned in front, their backs are typically wonderful.

No, I've certainly never felt singled out or personally slighted. It's not anything anyone does intentionally - it's really just the overemphasis of boobage. How about a metaphor:

Let's say I have blue eyes (I don't, really). And let's say that in our society, most models and actresses have blue eye and the "ideal woman"-- as the media portrayse her-- is blue-eyed. I'm at an event called "Eyes of all Colors" or something, where people believe that eye color is irrelevant to beauty. Everyone at the event makes a point of saying how much they like brown eyes, taking pictures of people with brown eyes, complimenting people on their brown eyes. Maybe a few people are even saying things like, "Blue eyes are overrated," to their brown-eyed friends, and I happen to overhear it. It's not that these people think people with blue eyes are unattractive, but being a blue-eyed person, I might sort of get that impression.

[isisdy]

Hello there! I almost feel kinda silly for replying to such an old post but it being official off season since Scarby I've come back to RF.

I can understand how it must feel to feel singled out at faire because of your body type. Faire does embrace a fuller figured woman , but majority of the time  all of us are in the real world. In the real world what you have is the desired body for American culture in more ways than just your thin and your breast size. There are commercials everyday for things all women use with only one kind of woman advertising it. Our culture has taught all women we need to be thin, tall, preferably white and blue eyed to be considered beautiful. This concept of beauty has even taken over some other countries. Our dominant society is where you little girl will take majority of her image like all the other little girls in our society.
               At faire I'm big breasted and that is glorified but I'm still not accepted even there. I'm a black girl and there are not a lot of black people at any faire I have gone too. Since I have been going people have said to me " you are very pretty for a black girl". I have heard these same words both at faire and in our society. I think the people that say it think that it is a compliment , when really it's hurtful and insulting . It's a comment that says to me black people aren't even expected to be  beautiful at all and like a pat on the head "good for you" your a pretty one. If I had it my way I would dress up as a gypsy or belly dancer but after 2 children my stomach is a bunch of saggy skin and stretch marks. The belly dancers I see are mostly thin and beautiful. Some have bigger breast and some don't but they are still beautiful and a big piece of faire as well as the wenches and all with the breast all out.. I would like to go as nobility but I feel awkward about it because another thing i hear at least once or twice a year is " If this was the real renaissance you wouldn't be here." As if I've been living under a rock and I don't know that! Worst part of this is i have heard this from people that are suppost to be my friends. i think it's hard for all women. Alot of our image issues where put on us by men and now today especially most of them are imposed on us by other women competing with each other.  I think we as women we need to just learn to love ourselves the way we are and love other women  for what they are. A lot of faire women play up their breast because to them that is there best asset and it makes them feel good about themselves. Other women play up there stomachs or legs or whatever it is they are proud of and that's okay. society is a machine trying to program us all and not being sucked in by that is what makes us special. Your little girl is going to be bombarded with it regardless of anywhere she goes its always going to be out there telling her what she is and what shes not just like its' done all the rest of us. i like the way you presented your issue , you seem like a very intelligent and open minded woman and from the picture you are beautiful too. Own that regardless of your bust size and your daughter will learn that confidence from you and fight this society for the right to define her own beauty.

[Celtic_Fae]

Hello there! I almost feel kinda silly for replying to such an old post but it being official off season since Scarby I've come back to RF.

I can understand how it must feel to feel singled out at faire because of your body type. Faire does embrace a fuller figured woman , but majority of the time  all of us are in the real world. In the real world what you have is the desired body for American culture in more ways than just your thin and your breast size. There are commercials everyday for things all women use with only one kind of woman advertising it. Our culture has taught all women we need to be thin, tall, preferably white and blue eyed to be considered beautiful. This concept of beauty has even taken over some other countries. Our dominant society is where you little girl will take majority of her image like all the other little girls in our society.
               At faire I'm big breasted and that is glorified but I'm still not accepted even there. I'm a black girl and there are not a lot of black people at any faire I have gone too. Since I have been going people have said to me " you are very pretty for a black girl". I have heard these same words both at faire and in our society. I think the people that say it think that it is a compliment , when really it's hurtful and insulting . It's a comment that says to me black people aren't even expected to be  beautiful at all and like a pat on the head "good for you" your a pretty one. If I had it my way I would dress up as a gypsy or belly dancer but after 2 children my stomach is a bunch of saggy skin and stretch marks. The belly dancers I see are mostly thin and beautiful. Some have bigger breast and some don't but they are still beautiful and a big piece of faire as well as the wenches and all with the breast all out.. I would like to go as nobility but I feel awkward about it because another thing i hear at least once or twice a year is " If this was the real renaissance you wouldn't be here." As if I've been living under a rock and I don't know that! Worst part of this is i have heard this from people that are suppost to be my friends. i think it's hard for all women. Alot of our image issues where put on us by men and now today especially most of them are imposed on us by other women competing with each other.  I think we as women we need to just learn to love ourselves the way we are and love other women  for what they are. A lot of faire women play up their breast because to them that is there best asset and it makes them feel good about themselves. Other women play up there stomachs or legs or whatever it is they are proud of and that's okay. society is a machine trying to program us all and not being sucked in by that is what makes us special. Your little girl is going to be bombarded with it regardless of anywhere she goes its always going to be out there telling her what she is and what shes not just like its' done all the rest of us. i like the way you presented your issue , you seem like a very intelligent and open minded woman and from the picture you are beautiful too. Own that regardless of your bust size and your daughter will learn that confidence from you and fight this society for the right to define her own beauty.

Just my two cents, from your profile pic: you make a LOVELY fae! I love the colors you picked. They really make you stand out and glow. Don't let anyone make you feel like you don't belong---they're just jealous! Some people pull off different characters better than others, but it basically comes down to if they're comfortable dressing the way they're dressing that makes the ultimate impression.

[Blue66669]

Ooooo Antoinette... preachin to the choir girl LOL!

[Imestra]

Rant Alert
Stuff our daughters need to know;
Fashion models are selling clothing.  They are glorified hangers.  I (personally) don't want to be anything like a coat rack.
Beauty models are selling makeup products.  Some of them actually have latex masks under the airbrushed finish of the photo to smooth & perfect the face.
The modern day media image of perfection is ridiculously impossible to obtain.  Again, the entire goal is to sell a product.
Photography tricks abound to alter the image into the desired result, shooting 'up' to gain height, foggy filters to soften edges - not to mention photo processing to correct color and contrast. 
Don't Buy Into the Myth!
{End Rant}
Now, back to our original posted subject, I also felt, for a short time, that the cleavage was all.  However, as I met more & more Rennies (thanks! R/F.com!) my experience changed that belief.  All ladies projecting a positive self-image seemed to be surrounded by attentive gentlemen.  Although yes, for the first time in my life, I actually do have cleavage, it does not compare to the majority of what can be seen if you look around.  The most remarkable story is about the slender & petite gal with next to no fluff at all, but a fun loving attitude and outgoing personality - guess who is never without guys just lined up for a chance with her!  The same goes for some goddess sized gals.
There will always be some fools who care nothing for aught but image and they are not worth notice.
So, bottom line - Comparison = BAD
Great Self-Image = GOOD

[Welsh Wench]

Very simply put--

Walk into a room (or faire) like you own it.

And when you do, you won't give a rat's arse about image or what anyone thinks.

[Merlin the Elder]

"...you are very pretty for a black girl..."

Dear Antoinette, that phrase has no place in any society, must less at a faire. It is, most unfortunately, the babbling of a complete fool when it is spoken. I've never noticed the racial breakdown at faire, because I am colour blind to such things. I work at a university with so much diversity among the student body that it just doesn't matter to me. Even the college I went to some 40 years ago was so diverse, race and ethnicity just wasn't any big deal.

It is so sad that in the last 50+ years that so little progress has been made. I lived in Little Rock during the fracas there in `57. I implore you to hold your head high and maintain your dignity in the face of such comments. People that make them don't deserve the satisfaction of "getting to you."

[isisdy]

Thank you guys. It's the people like you all that make me enjoy faire as I do. For the most part I really don't let it get to me , I push it down far ,smile big and enjoy the day. It usually doesn't come back to me until I'm in the shower where I seem to do most of my reflecting for the day. I'm good at handling stuff like that , sadly as I've gone through life it's been so common that the more i hear it the less it hurts. I feel worst for them though because those kind of ideas really hurt there chances of getting to know people and really and truly enjoying their own lives.