"Jonesing for a kilt"

[Lady Kett]

For anyone not familiar with xmarksthescot.com - there's a discussion with a new poster on what it means to "jones" for a new kilt. You could easily swap out "kilt" for "garb", "corset", "sword", "noble's ensemble", "custom boots", or whatever suits your fancy, and of course, swap out the "pics on XMARKS" with "pics on R/F". On the one hand, the lack of paragraphs is completely annoying, but on the other, it absolutely feeds into the feeling, LOL. I think y'all will enjoy -

The thing about "jonesing" is that there are a myriad of varieties of it----a regular jones is when you order a kilt and wait for its arrival, but it can be double trouble as it starts when you order it, may be amplified when you find out it will not ship immediately (most have to be custom made), amplified again when the maker sends you that email notifying you it has been shipped only made worse by the cruelty of including a shipping tracking code so that you may even further be tormented by checking its tracking status every five minutes as you electronically watch your next "fix" wend its way across an ocean and then cross-country, aching in your belly with each new updated stop along the way until, of course while you are at work, notification is made online that an "attempted" delivery was made but not consummated because a signature was required and nobody was home, so the hole in your belly has to gape even further for another 24 hours as you sign the pink delivery slip snd stick it back on your front door for the delivery service to leave it on your doorstep today (all the while hoping the slip does not blow off the door in the wind), so you tape it there with about 4 extra pieces of tape, then you have to go to work while salt is poured on your open gaping abdominal wound knowing that you have 9 hours til you get home to the soon to be waiting package.  You are totally worthless at work as you cannot quit checking the tracking site until you see its status updated to "delivered", then spend the last few hours at work walking around like you have to pee really badly as you are extremely excited like a kid in a toy store, die another death as you have to stop for groceries or gas on the way home, another agonizing delay, then of course traffic is horrible and the lights are all against you, then you are finally home and throw down your work gear and race to the front door like a kid on xmas morning to find a package, the holy grail of packages, there, a small relief as the excruciating pain takes over when you cannot focus on how to most quickly open the box (why did they have to use so much tape, d@%$ it) practically chewing your way into the package like a starving dog, then another small touch of relief when you see it for the first time, see it and touch it and hold it.  You race to your bedroom to drop trou' (aahhh crap, forgot to take off my shoes and can't get my pant legs over them!), then finally unwrap and strap that beauty around your waist with a short sigh of relief AAAAHHHHHH that feels so GOOOOD.  What?  What are those white zig zag threads keeping my pleats from swishing?  BASTING STITCHES which take another 5-15 minutes to remove because your hands are now shaking so much (I don't care what they say it is never one snip and the whole thread comes out with one pull!).  Then finally you can again strap on that new baby and twirl in front of the mirror to watch the pleats move.  You grab the camera and --oh no, the wife is not home to take pictures!  Have to post on xmarks that I got my new kilt but must have pictures so you shoot some in the bathroom mirror wearing short navy blue dress sockes and your penny loafers, without a proper kilt belt or pin, but can't qite get that pleat shot because your head doesn't spin around 360 degrees like a hoot owl's.  So you grab some proper kilt hose, a kilt belt, sporran and strap, and some appropriate shoes (the best you have at the moment, they will have to do), WHERE ARE MY FLASHES, and, GOD this shirt looks terrible with the tartan---have to change, but into what?  Where is that tatersall buttondown anyway.  Oh good honey is home-----here dear is the camera, oh welcome home kiss kiss, here shoot some pictures of me in my new kilt SO I CAN POST THEM ON XMARKS because without pictures it didn't happen, d@&* the batteries are dead, must find more batteries.........
Jeff

[Jade Sapphire Emerald]

O. M. G. Yes! I totally get it! And yes, I totally have been there! (not kilt wise, but yeah) and yes, it's annoying as kfcu when everything is going the opposite way that it was supposed to!

Loved this!

[Rani Zemirah]

Where the HELL is the LIKE button?!? 

[Pinn]

Slowly raises hand and stands........." Hi my name is Pin'n and I'm a Rennie and I suffer from this affliction also.