humorous stories from reenactments

[Queen Maggie]

Ages ago (maybe 10 years!) I remember reading on someone's web site about crazy patron stories, you know, the ones where they ask "Is that a real horse?" "NO, we had two guys dress up in a suit to carry the knights. The SPCA doesn't let us use real horses" "Is that a real baby?" "No, it's Disney animatronics: They're so good now I have to change his diaper"
And there was a series of encounters with one woman who was certain she knew all about the period, but of course was wrong, ending up with her arguing with a blacksmith who was making nails. She said "Well, I know that's wrong! they didn't have nails back then" and the Blacksmith snarking "Oh, Of course. They used duck tape to hang Christ from the Cross"
Does anyone recognize this? I was sure I'd had it book marked, but I must've lost the link and I'm trying to reference the tales for a chapter I'm writing. Thanks in Advance!

[LadyFae]

I believe there are many stories like that in the "Freaking the Mundanes" thread.  Also, on page 5 of this section there is the "Funniest thing you've heard at faire" thread.  Page 6 has the "combacks" thread.

[Nighthawk]

Well, I don't know about the thread... but I once had to ask some kids parents "Do you let your 6 year old play with 18 inch knives at home?!?!"   The family in question are the reason that none of the knives I take to reenactments are sharp.

[groomporter]

Sounds like my collection of dumb patron questions...
http://historicgames.com/dumbquest/DumbQindex.html

[dbaldock]

Found some of them here -
http://tribes.tribe.net/renfairehistorysnobs/thread/8aead9e3-bf5c-496e-a26f-b03b656f7a92

[Ferret]

Sounds like my collection of dumb patron questions...
http://historicgames.com/dumbquest/DumbQindex.html

Those are the best. I'll never forget the "Hey mister your dogs on fire".
Thank you.
Ferret

[Mairte]

Absolutely thank you! I've loved reading them.

[DonaCatalina]

Eric the Tall was a pretty good fighter in a melee, light on his feet and quick with a shortlsword. In the mundane world he worked for a defense contractor who shall remain nameless. At some point a friend from maintenance gifted him with a scrap of high strength aircraft aluminum.
Eureka! He thought. This would make the perfect shield, lightweight, strong and flexible.
Eric and a friend worked on it for some time until he had a usable shield. He brought it with him to every fighter practice and gloried in the advantages that it gave him. His old wooden shield had been heavy and awkward. This new aluminum shield was a joy to work with, there was only the small problem of the highly burnished surface making it difficult to look at in bright light.
But as fate would have it, one day battle called. Eric and his friends packed up and headed for a land of gently rolling hills and ravines filled with pine trees. There they donned armor and set out to meet the enemy. In the early morning light with spears held high and swords clashing on steel, Eric's a little more bell-like than others, they marched forth.
But the enemy had dispersed among the thick pine trees and in the process of following a trail through broken ground, Eric became separated and found himself alone. Dimly through the mist he perceived the figures of three armored men and started towards them. He was sure that they were friends who had passed him on another trail. Imagine his horror when they turned and he saw the enemies colors fluttering from their helms!
Quickly Eric turned aside and started downhill threading his way through pine trees no thicker than his arms, but closely spaced. From above the three enemy warriors gave chase. Through smaller and smaller openings in the trees Eric fought to keep his momentum and distance from his adversaries. With his bright shield firmly strapped in place, Eric twisted turned and leapt over fallen logs. Then his luck failed him. The bright shield, of which he had been so proud, caught between two sturdy pines. At first it seemed the force of his will would bend the shield, as well as saplings, and allow him to continue his escape. But alas, though the shield did bend, such was the strength built into it that it sprang back almost immediately. The shield and the trees made themselves into a crude catapult and flung Eric the Tall high into the air. Cart wheeling back to earth, poor Eric was flung onto another young pine. Scratched and bruised but otherwise unharmed, Eric landed spread eagle before the warriors who had pursued him.
But all was not lost for our hero! Such was their mirth that the erstwhile pursuers fell on their knees overcome by laughter. Recovering himself, Eric made good his escape and was forever after known as
Eric the Barkeater.

[DonaCatalina]

Just a little note on the preceding tale. I was told this tale and only half believed until a decade later when I was introduced to said Eric when he visited the area. His last known residence was somewhere near Washington DC. He did admit that his memory of that day was a little fuzzy and he himself had heard about ten different versions.

[Rowan MacD]

Found some of them here -
http://tribes.tribe.net/renfairehistorysnobs/thread/8aead9e3-bf5c-496e-a26f-b03b656f7a92

I love this:
"They didn't have NAILS back then!"
"You're right, my bad. Jesus was screwed to the Cross."