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Snarked and Snarking~ How do you handle this?

Started by Cilean, July 23, 2008, 02:52:54 AM

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serenamoonsilver

For would-be snarkers at faire, I just want to emphasize the point that those of us who attend faires  sometimes know that we aren't H/A and have our reasons for it.

I remember being snarked on (by someone who wasn't even in garb) about how the dress I'm wearing in my profile pic wasn't period.  I'm almost wanted to turn around and go "Duh".  I knew it wasn't, but earlier that year two things happend--Greycat announced she was closing and I got more back on my tax return than I expected.  I had always loved that dress and figured I ought to get it while I had the opportunity.

Now I ask you?  Where else am I going to wear that dress except the faire?

I wouldn't wear it to an SCA event because it isn't H/A.  And while it might interesting to wear it to get groceries or something, I don't think I've got the guts to do it.

nliedel

I have a whole poem and a bit about regimental kilts that I cannot WAIT to try out at MIRF!!!!! I've been working on it for weeks now. All I need now is one million yards of blue ribbon and a little courage :) Thankfully my character has more guts than I do.

The bottom line is if someone is going to have a wonderful day because I'm not perfectly H/A (thankfully our wardrobe mistress  at MIRF is a sensible woman and understands things like costs and evil children with Pnut butter paws) then they can have at it. I feel sorry for someone who has to make fun of people in a hurtful way to feel better about themselves. I overhear a snark and I'm going up to the snarkee and telling them how lovely they are and what a wonderful addition to our town they are this fine day.

That goes for people who crack wise about weight (I used to weigh 320 pounds and I have no tolerance for people who make fun of heavy people), height, how exhausted parents look, and if a child is "different" since different is normal here.

Gosh, I can't wait till the 16th of August. I'm like a pomeranian on crack.
My journey from mundane to Ren Actor

nliedel

Quote from: serenamoonsilver on July 23, 2008, 04:56:36 PM
For would-be snarkers at faire, I just want to emphasize the point that those of us who attend faires  sometimes know that we aren't H/A and have our reasons for it.


My friend has ginormous protuberances in the chesticle region and we tried for two days to make her a bodice without a dart. She's also of differing sizes in this region. We finally grabbed a beer and said, "the heck with it." She's got darts and that's that. Life goes on.

I, on the other hand, hace lost weight, namely in same region and I look like a boy with hips in my garb. No chesticles at all.
My journey from mundane to Ren Actor

Capt Gabriela Fullpepper

Quote from: nliedel on July 23, 2008, 05:02:00 PM
Quote from: serenamoonsilver on July 23, 2008, 04:56:36 PM
For would-be snarkers at faire, I just want to emphasize the point that those of us who attend faires  sometimes know that we aren't H/A and have our reasons for it.


I, on the other hand, hace lost weight, namely in same region and I look like a boy with hips in my garb. No chesticles at all.


I hear that one, I joke i'm built like a linebacker, but then again I guess it's because I was one :)
"The Metal Maiden"
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody e

Adriana Rose

I am on the not joining the SCA because of a snarky comment made by a member.

I hate the people that come up to you and say that you are not H/A when they themselves are no where near accurate! So I tell them that if I wanted to wear five layers of wool I would but seeming how it is 80+ out side I dont want to get heat stroke!  And i look 5 times better than them, since I did not make my garb from a table cloth..


And yes I did say that to someone... I was in a bad mood that day... ::)

AnyuBoo

#35
I've not been snarked at as of yet by anyone, (everyone who has commented on the garb I've made has been wonderfully kind and supportive) although I'm quite certain none of my garb is H/A...and hubby's garb, with its fantasy elements, I know isn't accurate.   :)  But I don't think I'd let it bother me if anyone did make negative comments; so long as hubby and I are happy with our garb, that's enough for me.
Besides, to be completely H/A, one might argue that the make-up should also be H/A...and I'm quite sure even the most die-hard H/A snarks wouldn't want to smear lead-based face paint on themselves...  :D
When everything seems to be coming your way...
...you're in the wrong lane!

gypsylakat

wow, i leave to go put in a deposit to my school and 3 pages of comments?

I'm not going to agree that all people snark, but i will agree that most do. It's quite alright to have snarky thoughts in your head, it's quite another to put them out of your mouth in a mean or hurtful way. I have looked at pictures of peoples garb and been very dissapointed when you see all of this hard work they put into it and see that if they had only made bodice bottom just a little tiny bit higher closer to their natural waist how amazingly wonderful it would have looked... I know I am not a garb expert, I am a complete noob. and that person did not ask for my criticism so hence I keep it to myself and instead comment on the lovely color choice and how they complement the persons skintone, or how much I like the trim. If someone asks about how they can make their garb more h/a or what they can do to improve the general look, you can bet I'll pipe up and say well if the bodice was a little bit shorter, it wouldn't wrinkle there and it would be a bit more flattering for your figure as well as probably be more comfortable..

I think everyone has thoughts when they see garb that involves ways they can improve on it... a snarky person may say these thoughts outloud with disregard for that persons feelings and without being asked, a more polite person will hold these thoughts to themselves or find a way to say them without hurting feelings.

It is my personal feeling that a little snarkiness is ok, but blunt force simon cowell-esq trauma to the go is just mean, and usually does nothing useful.

And honeslty did you really feel that the fairy in spandex and polyester had no inkling whatsoever that none of that was period? Or that the person with bloomers with text all over and micky mouse on them had no clue?
"A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point.
That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know."

Lady Renee Buchanan

As I mentioned in other threads, no one has ever made a comment to my face about the inappropriateness of our garb.  First faire was in 1980, when we had a booth demonstrating brass rubbing.  I wore a black velour bathrobe with a zipper up the front, a chain belt, and a flower ring in my hair.  In the mid 90's, Steve wore  maroon choir robe covered with an orange and gold brocade sleeveless long vest that I made out of a Goodwill curtain.  If anyone was going to snark, it should have been then.

Having gone to faire regularly for the past 12 years, again, no one has ever commented directly to us or behind our backs that I noticed.  I also find that in most situations, humor -- whether aloud or simply thought to oneself -- can diffuse negativity. 

Fooling around, I came up with a couple of phrases that I feel could be of use to me if anyone ever snarked about my garb.

"Historically accurate?  If I was historically accurate, at my age I'd be dead."  (I wouldn't feel bad about saying this out loud while smiling).

"If your husband told you all the time you wore this outfit how gorgeous and beautiful you looked, who gives a darn about historically accurate or if it's got a wrinkle in it?"  (And my husband really does compliment me on my garb, and I like it, too, and that's what really matters).

Now this next I'd never, ever say to anyone, but I could think it to myself.  And for some reason, it makes me crack up laughing.

"Historically accurate?  If I was historically accurate, at my age I'd be dead.  As would you, because they would have already burned you at the stake, you witch."

But I am comfortable enough in my skin to not care anymore what anyone else thinks, so I probably would just blow off any criticism.

A real Surf Diva
Landshark who loves water
Chieftesse Surf'n Penny of Clan O'Siodhachain,
Irish Penny Brigade
Giver of Big Hugs 
Member since the beginning of RF
All will be well. St. Julian of Norwich

Kiss-me-Kate

#38
Quote from: Taffy Saltwater on July 23, 2008, 01:41:23 PM
I have to wear glasses - contacts are out of the question - and am almost always in Crocs (ugliest shoes in the world) because of peripheral neuropathy.  So I try to remember that people do the best they can under their own personal circumstances.

I am with ya Taffy.  I am diabetic, I wear Doc Martens, and sunglasses.  If someone is tacky enough to snark to me, well I tell them why I wear them and it usually shuts them up.  I am not going to sacrifice my health to be H/A. - Which I never have been anyways.  And I am not on cast, so no big deal.
(When I look back to my first gown, oh Lordy what a fright it was. )
My approach is wear what makes ya happy!

And Lady Renee,
I LOVE your witch retort!!!
~ Notouchin' M'Crack
Pucker Up!

ladyecho

     You guys are a lot nicer than I was when I was first snarked. My first garb was a halloween costume and no one said anything. It was printed fabric dress and polyester silk top. The next year I worked real hard to make the red dress from Ever After. All I heard was good comments. The next year. . . we wont talk about that one.
    So for this particular year I threw caution to the wind! I didn't care about the correct fabric or colors, I just picked what I liked. When I went to faire I got a lot of looks ( of confusion ). Most people just asked me was I a wench. But one guy just came up to me as I was walking by and proceded to tell me everything that was wrong with my dress.
     "This collar was not even of this time, your skirt is one of a wench and your sleeves are of nobility. And the beaded fringe everywhere just tells me that this dress was handed down to you from someone who didn't want it anymore and you added the fringe in order to make it your own like a gypsy would do. . ."
      I waited until he caught his breath and I told him " Well I guess it's a damn good thing that I don't work here then!"  And walked away.
     Should I have told him that HIS top he was wearing had a zipper in the back, or do you think he already knew it?  ;)

renren

Hehehe...what I think of whe it comes to historical accuracy..
Well, to be totally H/A, we should starve ourselves(It wouldn't hurt me, tho!),knock out our teeth, and contract the plague? ;)
LOL! I agree, fun is the most important element, and positivity the goal!
Renren
Wench  #  3783
Treasure Guardian and giggling interrogator of the "Feisty Lady"

Guppy # 32 ROoL

Lady Kathleen of Olmsted



I was snarked in 2005 at the MNRF because I had shades over my glasses and that I had an umbrella instead of a parasol.

My comeback was..."At least I came dressed right for the era."

Now I have a parasol and I stand the sunlight in my glasses without shades.
"As with Art as in Life, nothing succeeds like excess.".....Oscar Wilde

Mythrin

Unless one is asked or am part of a costume approval process - stick with the wise words of grandmother's everywhere "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." 

And if you are asked or suppose to comment - lead with something positive to soften the other comments that may be less palatable.  There is always something that said positive that is found about any effort!  I find that people listen better if they feel like you are critiquing vs. criticizing. 
Chris
Founding member of the Living History Company

"go Secret Squirrels"

Miranda

Where do all you Snarkees live?  In the early days I wore things that I will not let see the light of day again.  Poorly fitted, poorly constructed things made with exceedingly poor fabric choices.  And in spite of this, NO ONE ever said anything remotely snarky to me.  As my abilities have improved I've actually started garnering attention, but it has all been positive.
Granted my biggest critic has always been myself.
Lady Margaret Howard -The Order of St. Thomas More.

TiaLD77

Quote from: Miranda on July 25, 2008, 09:38:00 AM
Where do all you Snarkees live?  In the early days I wore things that I will not let see the light of day again.  Poorly fitted, poorly constructed things made with exceedingly poor fabric choices.  And in spite of this, NO ONE ever said anything remotely snarky to me.  As my abilities have improved I've actually started garnering attention, but it has all been positive.
Granted my biggest critic has always been myself.

Precisely! I am Ren & SCA and have not been snarked either......except in my own Mind because I know what is wrong with my garb....Maybe I just already look so Pissy no one wants to say anything to me?
I want to play with your head like a drunk kitten:)