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I KNOW YOU WILL ALL "GET" THIS.................

Started by Gwenwhistle, September 11, 2008, 08:17:14 PM

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cowgrrl

I don't think not dressing up is a definite mood killer.  I don't dress up.  My DH almost always does & my kids do about 50% of the time but I don't.  I probably will at some point but not yet.  Yes, we do get a few odd looks with him in his gypsy garb & me in my capris & shirt, son in chainmaille & daughter in danes with fairy wings but we're use to it & it doesn't bother me a bit.

I honestly wouldn't push her too much.  Everyone has their own comfort level & she may think (right or wrong) that being in costume will bring too much attention. 

Gwenwhistle

Thanks for your input, cowgrrl.  Just curious, why DON'T you dress?  I suppose in your particular case, you guys are ok with it and it works for you  BUT, going to faire is our ONE TIME a year treat and for ME, anyway, being with someone who isn't willing to get in the spirit IS a moodkiller.  I went one year with a guy who just wasn't into faire and vowed NEVER to do that again.  Maybe I'm being selfish but we drive 2 hours and spend 200 bucks at least; I want it to be special each and every time, THIS year, most importantly for my daughter.  Ya know?  Yeah, I'm selfish............

Lady Renee Buchanan

I was going to mention to bring some garb in the car, when I saw it was already posted.

Word of warning, though.  The opposite could happen.  She could go to the faire in 'danes and have a great time.  But if you force her to wear garb, even for your daughter's sake, she could be so uncomfortable and miserable that it will make the day worse.

We went to faire this past June and had invited our friends to go.  They live 3 hours from us, so we were going to meet them there.  Maxine (her second faire and her husband's first, they had their own garb) told us they had friends that they had mentioned going to, and the friends asked if they could go as well.  So Maxine asked if I had garb that I could loan their friends, which we mailed to her. 

The friends decided on the morning of, that they wanted to drive their own car, so they did.  Well, this other couple lasted at the faire for less than 2 hours, then left.  While we were perusing the stores, they stood in the middle of the lane.  For shows, the four of us sat down, they stood in the back just outside the perimeter, and eventually said goodbye and left.  So they were garbed, but miserable, and ended up leaving, while the 4 of us had a blast.

So just because someone is garbed, if they are unwilling, they might still not get into the spirit of the thing.
A real Surf Diva
Landshark who loves water
Chieftesse Surf'n Penny of Clan O'Siodhachain,
Irish Penny Brigade
Giver of Big Hugs 
Member since the beginning of RF
All will be well. St. Julian of Norwich

cowgrrl

Quote from: Gwenwhistle on September 14, 2008, 08:15:16 AM
Thanks for your input, cowgrrl.  Just curious, why DON'T you dress?  I suppose in your particular case, you guys are ok with it and it works for you  BUT, going to faire is our ONE TIME a year treat and for ME, anyway, being with someone who isn't willing to get in the spirit IS a moodkiller.  I went one year with a guy who just wasn't into faire and vowed NEVER to do that again.  Maybe I'm being selfish but we drive 2 hours and spend 200 bucks at least; I want it to be special each and every time, THIS year, most importantly for my daughter.  Ya know?  Yeah, I'm selfish............

There are lots of reasons.  By the time we decided to get season passes & be 'rennies' I had decided to have weight loss surgery & buying garb seemed like a waste of money until I reach my goal weight.  Also, I enjoy the interactions I have with the cast when I'm dressed in 'danes.  They're more likely to mess with me & I like messing right back.  I'm also pretty sure that even when I have garb I will not dress up on very hot days.  I overheat somewhat easily & the garb will probably be replaced with a tank top & capris.
I do feel I'm just as much 'in the spirit' as anyone who is dressed up.  As I said we have season passes to our closest faire & are there most weekends.  I yell 'Huzzah', warn people with kids about opening cannon, purchase way more stuff than I should & see more shows than you can shake a steak on a stake at.   I love faire, but on my terms, which include not dressing up.

Also, as I've mentioned before, everyone has their own comfort level.  We took my in-laws to faire last year for the first time ever.  Had we insisted that they 'get into the spirit' & dress up they more than likely would not have gone with us.  Thankfully they did & had a wonderful time, even in 'danes.  We'll probably end up taking my parents this year & its the same deal.  In fact, none of us will probably dress up that day so we can just 'blend' together.

All that said, we're visiting TRF this year & I'm seriously considering renting garb for at least 1 day.  I want to see how it feels to be dressed up.  So I'm coming around.  Just in my own time.

Gwenwhistle

Absolutely, I agree about not forcing someone to wear garb; it makes no sense if they'll be completely miserable the whole time BUT,BUT,BUT.........SHE invited herself, I did not ask her to go then insist she dress.  Doesn't that make a difference here?  Also, Cowgrrl, it sounds like you are really into the faire despite what you might be wearing, which counts for alot when it comes to atmospere and mood; sounds like you hoot and holler with the rest of them so it doesn't matter in your case!

BTW, prayers to you for your weight loss!  Hope it all goes your way.

Cat

anne of oaktower

I'm sure you've already thought of this, but did you ask her if she'd like to try on some garb at home, long before ever going to faire?  Maybe if she could try it on at your house and walk around in it for a bit, she'd find it's not so bad after all.  Who wants to throw on something they've never worn before (nor seen others wearing) in the morning and walk out the door to go to a place they've never been and risk feeling silly and awkward all day?

Just a thought.
aka: Oak-hearted Annie / Anne of Oak Barrel / Barefoot Annie

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."

Lord Duelist

Probably a bit late for this reply to be useful, but hopefully someone looking back at old posts will see it and learn from it. This post draws from my experience today (Saturday 2008-10-11) at TRF.

I can see both sides of the situation. I can see how someone in 21st century street clothes (aka "mundane" wear) can be distracting to those celebrating a much earlier period of history. I do plan for my remaining visits to faire in mundane wear to number in the single digits, with the possible exception of Dickens on the Strand and similar events (and only because I'd want to do a Victorian costume, and would consider Renaissance-era wear just as potentially distracting as mundanes).

I would expect that the number of rennies who attend their first faire in garb is rather low. My first three four visits to TRF were in mundane wear, and I'm not sure even renting garb is in the budget for the next one or two visits this season. So yes, that means I've never been to a faire in garb, yet I do see that day coming (probably if/when I go to Scarby in 2009, at the latest, TRF 2009).

At the same time, I probably would wear loaner garb if it were offered, were I in a comparable position of the mom in this situation. Whether or not I would rent garb at my own expense in that situation is something I don't think I can speculate on with any degree of accuracy. I can truthfully say I would sympathize with "to honor the son's/daughter's birthday" angle.

I also think the separate car idea is the best possible solution.

The odd thing about all this? My first visit to TRF was with my happily mundane mom and some former neighbors of ours. I was re-introduced by a friend who attended/attends TRF as a mundane and has/had, apparently, no shame about it (a friend who I'm not in touch with anymore, just by mere coincidence).

I love Blakduke's idea, though...

renren

I myself, go to faire, about 1/2 the time, in danes! The reason being thatwhen my kids are with (which is more and more! :) ),they may want to leave when it gets too hot, and go do something else, somewhere else. To me, I don't always want to take the time to "ungarb" when we're busy. That may change, never know.  But please remember this,we were all 'danes once!:) Don't try to force the issue, or you could lose a friendship, or totally turn someone off completely to the faire experience. This is just a friendly suggestion, I do not wish to start a heated debate!

Renren
Wench  #  3783
Treasure Guardian and giggling interrogator of the "Feisty Lady"

Guppy # 32 ROoL

Lord Duelist

Quote from: renren on October 12, 2008, 11:02:45 AM
I myself, go to faire, about 1/2 the time, in danes! The reason being thatwhen my kids are with (which is more and more! :) ),they may want to leave when it gets too hot, and go do something else, somewhere else. To me, I don't always want to take the time to "ungarb" when we're busy. That may change, never know.

Indeed, it's entirely possible I won't always go in garb when that time comes. I will probably hear a few jokes about my mundane alter ego, but I'll worry about those later...

Quote from: renren on October 12, 2008, 11:02:45 AM
But please remember this,we were all 'danes once!:) Don't try to force the issue, or you could lose a friendship, or totally turn someone off completely to the faire experience. This is just a friendly suggestion, I do not wish to start a heated debate!

As alluded to in my previous post, it's possible there are a few out there who have never attended faire as a mundane. They are of course a distinct minority but I would stop short of saying "all".

renren

I know, I get lots of jokes, and "I didn't recognize you!" LOL!
Renren
Wench  #  3783
Treasure Guardian and giggling interrogator of the "Feisty Lady"

Guppy # 32 ROoL

Dustin

Quote from: Lord Duelist on October 12, 2008, 01:25:26 PM
As alluded to in my previous post, it's possible there are a few out there who have never attended faire as a mundane. They are of course a distinct minority but I would stop short of saying "all".

::raises hand::

I've never been to faire as a 'dane. Went garbed my first time (as did my wife and the two renlings).
If love be rough with you, be rough with love;
Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down. Romeo & Juliet, 1.IV

Yennefer

Tell her that rennies consider ungarbed people  NAKED.. Would she want to go to faire NAKED?  May be that would make her come to her senses.. Also, if she doesnt like /want any of your garb, costume rental at faire ( if yours have one) could be a good option..

Hubby and I got married at a faire and we requested that instead of wedding gifts, each guest would go and rent a costume.. Tell her that as a gift for your daughter's B-Day you would like her to rent a costume instead of buying a gift.. Its like $30-$50 per day..
Yennefer von Vengerberg

Dev

#27
blarg.  I took my boyfriend to the faire last year and he wore a bright orange polo shirt and khaki pants.  He was fun, but it's hard for me to be in character with he and his friends are walking around like tourists.

My other friend was fun.  Though he was also in danes - denim shorts and an Immortal shirt - he played along with my character and interacted like a playtron with the cast.  I'm definitely taking him this year, and I'm happy to lend if he wants.

As for my boyfriend, I told him that I like to go so I can be in character.  I'm not offended if he goes with his friends, but I'd be really happy if he dressed up and saw it from my perspective.

Jinglebum

QuoteTell her that rennies consider ungarbed people  NAKED.. Would she want to go to faire NAKED?

I definitely feel way naked and weird if I go to faire in 'danes. I don't enjoy it nearly as much. I've been to faire in 'danes maybe four times, and it's just not comfortable for me. :P Haha
Oh... Shiny!

BLAKDUKE

I went to my first faire at Sterling in 1983.  I went as a "dane" because I did not know what to expect.  I bought my first piece of garb(which I still have) and vowed never to go NAKED ever again.  I cannot evision going to faire naked, but that is me.  It is not for me to look oddly at people who choose to go to faire without garb and I guess it could be viewed that if there were no "DANES" there would be no faire.   There are all manner of reasons to go to faire and I guess people should all go for their own reasons.  The best reason is to have a good time no matter how your dressed.

The Blakduke
Ancient swordsman/royalty
Have Crown/Sword Will Travel