This is a discussion I had with a very dear friend/fairemily member last night on the phone.
But something I thought would be interesting to bring up in discussion to everyone.
As much as we all love faire, will spend thousands of dollars, will travel hundreds of miles, there are those times, when the spark just ebs. For the first time in my life, I've had to remind myself that when I get up in the morning and drag my carcass out to faire, I'm doing it to have fun. After missing Closing Weekend of Scarby due to financial reasons, I stopped and started to think about all the reasons why I wasn't heartbroken about not being there. Due to no one else but myself, I just didn't have fun this season. It was a chore to get up and go out to faire (Rendezvous did NOT count, btw. I had a blast!). Instead of being excited, I was too exhausted or too preoccupied by everything else, that when I got to faire, I couldn't let go or get into it.
Have you ever had those seasons?
I totally understand what you're saying, Elo. I think anything that becomes something you feel like you HAVE to do will quickly stop being something you WANT to do. You push yourself pretty hard with your art, and every time I see you at Faire you're headed somewhere to shoot something, and don't have time to sit and chat, or take a leisurely stroll through the lanes with friends, or relax at all, I think! Maybe you're starting to see it more as a job than a pleasure, and that can take the fun out of anything...
I do recall seeing you laughing and having a great time during Musical Men, and you didn't have a camera in your hands!!! :P I wonder if it could have anything to do with being able to actually participating, instead of standing aside to chronicle events.
I know last year when we did the Gypsy camp I didn't enjoy my home Faire near as much when I'm just there to play, although I think it might have been a bit more fun if I'd had more help. I was pretty burnt by the end, though, and I didn't want to do it again this year.
It can happen to everybody. You find a hobby or something that interests you. And you get involved.
Often adding to what first interested you, and doing more or even different things.
Pretty soon you are doing too much, and it isn't fun any more.
Then it's a good time to take a break. And remember what first interested you and what was fun for you.
Then try and do more of the stuff you enjoy, and eliminate what is spoiling it for you.
Ferret
Not with faire but I got burned out on Anime cons about 5 years ago. Now days I put in my shift and leave instead of running around the con. I've never been sure if I've changed or the cons have change or if its both. Now I only go to see a few friends.
>Ever had one of those seasons?
Not yet, I don't think, not at the level I am at now.......but it's possible it occurred when I was an outsider "time traveler", just there taking pictures, and not involved with anyone, either in the moment or after (sharing pictures). I think I started in '92 or so but for a few years in the 90's, I didn't go to TRF at all; I wasn't into it as much then and then the Pentax had broken down.
But now that I am more and more a part of it, it's a passion. But.....I've seen other things, with their complexity, with their cost drop in their frequency.
I put those occurances to, mostly, the "energy required for a launch". I have a lot of gear intensive activities......and I live in a medium sized apartment that is rather bursting from all the stuff of all my activities. To get out the door, to make the drive, either short or far away, will usually require several trips through an obstacle course through a small door. THANK GOD for a Subaru Forester! For it makes at least the final loading easier. (well, more than that of course, for my relationship with Uncia is special)
But loading all to take, finding all to take (because often it is running from one activity to another and things rarely get put away) can build up the entrophy effect and often, I'll just sleep in, if I can, for this or that. Lots of activity...........and massive down times.
I've missed the opening cannon a few times, deciding to sleep in a little, and not rush it. It hurts some, but it's not a compulsion and in any event, I remember the immortal words and example of D'Hoffryn......................."Oh, well!"
Things are not the end of the world and if you need to take time for yourself to recharge, do so, either in the moment or after completing a commitment. The latter is often me, so beaten down in doing a task that I like, that I promise myself once it is done, I'll slow down for a while.
I can identify with burnout. I'll definitely be cutting back on how many faires I got to and how many weekends of those faires I attend.
I immediately jumped into faire working for different booths/performers and have had a great run with them (and am still enjoying that aspect, for the most part). That's what is keeping me coming back as much as I am.
Unfortunately, I also have run into some people who have made faire a terribly uncomfortable place to be, both actually at the faire or even at faire-related events. I've had the bad luck to find several who play the role of confidant only to turn around and spread lies, twist the truth, and betray what you told them. They believe that they should always get their way; if you don't agree with everything they say and everything their friends say/do, you are an enemy and will be treated as such. I've been followed back to cast-only areas and threatened. Lately, I've found faire to be devolving into an adult high school: you have your cliques, you have your backstabbing, and you have those who don't care who they hurt as long as they can get "totally wasted DUDE!". They'll be nice to you to your face but just wait until you turn your back. When I've chosen not to take sides in the many issues to plague my faire region, to remain neutral, I've actually been told that either I "pick a side or we can't be friends anymore because I/we can't trust you". :-[
These reasons combine with the fact that I'm a full-time student with additional labs and practicums over and above my classes and any faire I got to is at least a 2 hour commute, and, yes, I've found the passion waning. :-\ :'(
Quote from: Kathryn (Fae) Weldon on June 01, 2010, 08:08:40 PM
Lately, I've found faire to be devolving into an adult high school: you have your cliques, you have your backstabbing, and you have those who don't care who they hurt as long as they can get "totally wasted DUDE!". They'll be nice to you to your face but just wait until you turn your back.
I've noticed this for some time as an outsider at different faires. I've also noticed this in several places of employment. It make me wonder, if this is true for all large group settings?
Quote from: Tink on June 01, 2010, 08:30:40 PM
Quote from: Kathryn (Fae) Weldon on June 01, 2010, 08:08:40 PM
Lately, I've found faire to be devolving into an adult high school: you have your cliques, you have your backstabbing, and you have those who don't care who they hurt as long as they can get "totally wasted DUDE!". They'll be nice to you to your face but just wait until you turn your back.
I've noticed this for some time as an outsider at different faires. I've also noticed this in several places of employment. It make me wonder, if this is true for all large group settings?
I haven't noticed such......but it may be because either I don't know what to notice since I don't think I saw that in HS 30 years ago or I'm once again in a similar isolation corner as I was when I was in HS. I am usually the stiff one at the party. Probably explains why I'm a photographer.
In either event, with my generalist extraordinaire life, I have many ways to face a situation. I may display an aspect or two of my play life at RF, but I don't display my work or whole life, although certainly things intertwine. Further, looking at it, that may be part of it that keeps the interest up.
In one viewpoint, I may have five different lives and while one is aware of another, they don't involve with each other much. So going off and doing one of them is a way to get away from it all.
Elo, I can certainly understand where you're coming from. I've felt the same way at times about the band I play with. At times it's way more work than fun, and it shouldn't be that way.
We too far away from a faire to get tired of it. This year has been exceptional in that we've made it down to Scarby for more than one faire weekend. Opening weekend, I had a lot of things running through my head that diminished my enjoyment a bit. These days, there seems to be an over abundance of things to worry about! Closing weekend, I think the intense heat took my mind off of everything else... I would imagine that once things ease up, finance-wise or whatever, that the spark will reignite your flame.
For me, the holidays are when i fall off my Fairemily's radar and recharge. I had just spent the last 4-5 months prepping for TRF... garb, Loki brewing/tasting, going to gatherings to plan things out. Even though there was a New Years Eve party with the whole gang, my brother & I spent an evening with a case of beer & a bottle of Scotch. ( You, Elo, were the only person to hear from us that night) I ignored the forums... i ignored the phone calls and i ignored the emails. A new faire opened (Sherwood) and i ignored it also because i had already commited to Scarby. Now i feel recharged and am looking forward to TRF... going to try and make this year the best one yet.
You've been a busy person, Meg... school, work, family, planning RenDezvous... no wonder you are burned out.
Quote from: SirRichardBear on June 01, 2010, 01:23:26 PM
Not with faire but I got burned out on Anime cons about 5 years ago. Now days I put in my shift and leave instead of running around the con. I've never been sure if I've changed or the cons have change or if its both. Now I only go to see a few friends.
Key word there-
shift. After 16 years we burned out on the SCA because all our participation eventually came down to which shift we were working. Anytime a hobby becomes more work than fun, you are likely to burn out.
I understand entirely how you feel Elo. If Scarby was longer than it is; herding everyone in the morning, gathering up all the accesorries, filling the cooler, loading the car, last minute garb repairs, making sure we had gas and money and passes, would soon be more work than fun.
Fear not- this too shall pass
Elo, you push yourself far too hard. With everything you have had going on this season it seems perfectly reasonable to me that you would need some down time to recoup, recharge, and relax. Give yourself permission to do that and you'll not only feel much better but also see things more clearly. Then you can decide where and how much you want to jump back in. YOU need to be your first priority. NOT faire or even fairemily. Both will be waiting when you get back. Promise. HUGS
Yeah! What MG said! :D
Hey Babes, I think anytime your into something passionately, there are those times when a break is in order. It can be for any of the myriad reasons listed before this (been there, done that, gotta t-shirt). Or it can be no more complicated than - you need a break and desire to focus on something else (or even yourself, which ain't bad...). Not a thing in the world wrong with that.
Not every "special" weekend (e.g. opening or closing, All Hallows, etc.) is necessarily a home run. And that's ok. It just provides contrast or comparison. And sometimes, not even going there for a time is enough to bring it back, often better, later. Good ol' absence makes the heart grow fonder an' all dat.
One of my Dad's favorite sayings is "this too shall pass..." comes to mind. I simply suggest that if it brings you joy, do that. If you feel resistance, and it does not bring you joy - don't do it. Just do what feels right and best for you Sugar.
Quote from: Molden on June 02, 2010, 10:02:46 AM
Or it can be no more complicated than - you need a break and desire to focus on something else (or even yourself, which ain't bad...). Not a thing in the world wrong with that.
Three cheers for this quote and the man behind it.
Hey, even sunshine burns if you get too much.
"Rise, and Fall" of the Tides...
"Waxing, and Waning" of the Moon...
...everything is Cyclic, your ferver for the Fest will once again come round.
Apparently everyone has these feeling at one time or another.
I felt just like that last year for AHE at TRF. I really didn't have a good time at all. I had been preparing garb and all that jazz all year and it really put very high expectations on it for me. By the time I got there I was extremely tired already and missed all of my clans activities because I just slept the whole time. During the day at faire i was thinking about my children. I have very bad separation anxiety and my youngest son was only 2 months old at time. This past memorial day weekend at Scarby I had a great time but the heat was discouraging . My fiance wants to do everything and get the very best out of it down to the last thread and that is what usually ruins faire for me the expectations to get back what I have put in preparing for it all year. This time I just relaxed and didn't put to much thought into it so it didn't feel like I was trying to turn a profit. I don't even know you ELo but I have saw your work and your on my Facebook friends , last year at TRF I saw you at the front gate and I was going to walk over to you to say hello to finally meet you. You were sooooooo busy and so far in the zone with your camera I was afraid to interupt you and missed the chance to formally meet you.I suspect that the others are right that you should slow don't abit enough to really let yourself enjoy it again.
Yes, I've totally been there. Last season was a bit of a chore for me at times. I always had fun when I got to Fest, but I didn't really look forward to it during the week like I usually do, and I skipped a lot of days. My life has changed a lot in the last year, I think that's part of it.
We'll see how this season goes...
Over the years and thru many transformations of my "Faire persona" I have found that I have burnt out a few times, had to step back, take a close look and even time off from faires. I know there are some that remember "Paddy" or "Irish" and some may even remember "TJ the worlds largest Leprechaun". It is a hobby that I found can get exhausting. But there has always been something that has brought in back around and reminded me of the fun it can and should be.
I know that a trip to Tennessee a few years back for Ette Two was one of those that put the joy back in faire. Or the first time I saw Twig and watched her for over an hour playing with children and was reminded what it was really all about. And as I travel from faire to faire and see my friends.....no,,,,, my family at the various places and get the chance to see the smile on their face and give them each a hug......It brings it all around again.......
Something to try, too, if you're not ready for a total break from faire is to explore a new angle of it. If you've gone as a playtron, go as a mundane for the day. Try spelling boothies for a break, working in a booth yourself, or working with your favorite performer hawking their wares. Sometimes a fresh angle gives you fresh perspective and a new "something special/different/unexpected" to look forward to each weekend. Or, if you are ready for a break, but don't want to lose your connections, hold a weekend-long get-together with your friends or volunteer for a performer who has events outside of the festival circuit.
Hey, Sunshine -
I understand exactly how you feel, as the man in my life is somewhat legendary at faire, and when we are there, he is pretty much always "on stage". It is such a major part of his life, and that is fine, but I kind of sit on the back burner and try to keep it all in perspective. Then I start to realize that I am surrounded by a lot of wonderful people, who have come to mean so much to me. And of course, every now and then (like this year at BARF), you will meet another very special person to add to your repetoire, and it makes you realize how much "Faire" has added to your life. I have my moments, when going to faire is the last thing in the world I want to even think about, and there is nothing wrong with that, as there is a lot more out there in this big beautiful world of ours, and I think we need to experience as much of it, as possible. Faire is wonderful, as long as it doesn't become an obsession, because when that happens with anything, it gets to a point where it isn't fun, anymore. Then you need to step back, take a deep breath, and take stock of what you have in your life and just what it is that you need to be grateful for. And usually, when I start trying to look at those things objectively, I realize how fortunate I am to have my fairemily in my life, and even though it is just a "part" of my life, it is a part that I am very grateful for. Of course, there are many other parts of my life, too, and I am grateful for all of them.
BTW, thank you for my special moment at BARF this year, and for allowing me to add you to my repetoire. You are definitely one more thing for me to be grateful for.
Luvu lots!
Please return to the topic which was "I lost my faire groove help me find it."
Sorry, but I thought that was the topic.
Quote from: Peddlin on June 08, 2010, 11:40:44 AM
Sorry, but I thought that was the topic.
I'm pretty sure he was not talking to you darlin' and was in fact referring to the now deleted posts.
Quote from: Sitara on June 08, 2010, 09:56:16 PM
Quote from: Peddlin on June 08, 2010, 11:40:44 AM
Sorry, but I thought that was the topic.
I'm pretty sure he was not talking to you darlin' and was in fact referring to the now deleted posts.
correct there was this am there was the kind of drama that kills the faire spirit. posts have been removed. sorry for any confusion.
Peddlin you post is exactly the stuff the thread needed.
Quote from: eloquentXI on June 01, 2010, 12:29:52 PM
This is a discussion I had with a very dear friend/fairemily member last night on the phone.
But something I thought would be interesting to bring up in discussion to everyone.
As much as we all love faire, will spend thousands of dollars, will travel hundreds of miles, there are those times, when the spark just ebs. For the first time in my life, I've had to remind myself that when I get up in the morning and drag my carcass out to faire, I'm doing it to have fun. After missing Closing Weekend of Scarby due to financial reasons, I stopped and started to think about all the reasons why I wasn't heartbroken about not being there. Due to no one else but myself, I just didn't have fun this season. It was a chore to get up and go out to faire (Rendezvous did NOT count, btw. I had a blast!). Instead of being excited, I was too exhausted or too preoccupied by everything else, that when I got to faire, I couldn't let go or get into it.
Have you ever had those seasons?
My thoughts were lost in the drama shuffle. I'll repeat them as I think they have merrit, though it doesn't seem as inspiring the second time around...
Faire, to me, is like icecream. All the yummy flavors and you think you can never get enough. Then one day...blech.
Faire should be a treat. For some that means every day it's open, and open to close. For others it might mean not a race to get to cannon every morning and perhaps leaving midday or going only once a weekend. It should feel like a treat, not a marathon.
For me I chose to take some time away and explore other "like minded" groups. There's lot's to do other than faire if it's lost it's luster.
While I may not be a performer (yet anyway lol), I do love my faire & have yet to loose the spark...perhaps its due to lack of funds that makes that day I can go every year a treat (since I missed this yr, I'm deffinetly ready for next yr!). Having said that, if you're on ren overload, perhaps you can put aside all things ren related for awhile (like maybe every year until just before faire season begins)-maybe put any books, movies, ect. away somewhere for example, or maybe just not use them, & focus on other things you enjoy. Then after a while, you'll find or see them again and you'll be like, "hey, you know, I haven't seen, read, whatever that in a while!" & lo & behold, the spark has returned! I usually only delve into the world of ren every weekend, so that along w/what I said in the beginning usually keeps me from getting overstimulated. Hope that helped a bit! :)
Thank you for the reassurances. I was at work, and apparently missed all the drama, but I will try to get over it. ;)
I was struggling earlier this year with attending or not.....
At one point I actually announced to friends that this year I would not be going to any Faires (I usually try and attend 3, as I am in Ontario and the nearest US Faire is about 4 hours away).
What had I lost? Not really anything....my love of Faire is and was there. I had allowed another person to intimidate me and manipulate me into thinking, almost fearing that I would be followed wherever I went. Even to the point that I stopped logging in here or posting anything.....BUT
No more! I am going to my favourite Faire for Opening Weekend and I am going to get my Ren Life back!!! (yeah, that's me pounding on my chest and yelling)....
Has anyone ever had that happen, the presence of another creating intimidation in attending faire?
Would be interesting to find out....be well all!
Quote from: Arianwyn on June 19, 2010, 10:53:39 AM
I was struggling earlier this year with attending or not.....
At one point I actually announced to friends that this year I would not be going to any Faires (I usually try and attend 3, as I am in Ontario and the nearest US Faire is about 4 hours away).
What had I lost? Not really anything....my love of Faire is and was there. I had allowed another person to intimidate me and manipulate me into thinking, almost fearing that I would be followed wherever I went. Even to the point that I stopped logging in here or posting anything.....BUT
No more! I am going to my favourite Faire for Opening Weekend and I am going to get my Ren Life back!!! (yeah, that's me pounding on my chest and yelling)....
Has anyone ever had that happen, the presence of another creating intimidation in attending faire?
Would be interesting to find out....be well all!
Yes, Arianwyn. I know where you are coming from and I know of many others who do, too, so don't think you're alone! I applaud your courage in facing the bully and going on with your life the way
you want it to turn out.
Thank you Kathryn...it does feel like one is alone sometimes doesn't it? Always a good reminder to know there are others....
A.
Don't you dare stop going to faire,we all enjoyed meeting you last season. Get out there and have a great time. Wish you could be here this season! ;)
Thanks Joyce...it was wonderful meeting all of you last year at Rendezvous. Too bad the company I was keeping at the time turned out to be a sexual predator and sociopathic stalker....live and learn.
But you're back amongst friends now, hon... and there is safety in numbers! Joyce is wonderful, and gives the sweetest hugs, also, and I haven't met Kathryn yet, but she has always been so very gracious in every thread I've encountered her in, and I have to imagine she is the same in person! There are so many others up there who are kind, welcoming and downright FUN that you will have a wonderful time no matter who you spend it with! Soooo glad you haven't let this turn you away from Faire, and I hope you use it as a way to impel you right into the very heart of it all!
I intend to Rani....I intend to :)
Gaaaaahhhh!!! I wish I was going to be there with you all!!! I can't even imagine being burnt out on Faire, although there are some other things I've been burnt on recently... :P
Oh yes Elo... had those YEARS!!! heck I didn't go to faire for quite a few of 'em... life stuff! Take time off, when it's right, you'll come back & it'll be great!!! :)