Answer: Spinach
Question: What was Popeye's favorite food.
Answer: Revenge
A favorite pasttime for small minded people.
Or maybe you are looking more for "best served cold." ;D
Answer: Respect
Something you have to give in order to get back.
Answer:Symbols
Agreed Mairte
Answer: Something that if you use too mamy in a text you look like a tool.
Answer: cannon
Question: What is a yummy carrot like vegetable that date back to Roman times?
Answer: Yes
Question: What is do you love me? ;)
Answer: Forever
Question: What is the amount of time between 4:55PM and 5:00PM?
Answer: egg
Question: Which came first?
Answer: Grapevine
question: What is black and white and read all over?
answer: garlic bread
okay...I think I've got the hang of this now....*grin*
Question: What did Jamie Ellis kill his girlfriend over?
Answer: Apples
Question: What is being readied for pressing in cider mills all over Michigan right now?
Answer: Badminton
What is the polar opposite of Goodminton?
Flea powder
What do fleas use after showering?
Photosynthesis.
What do you have to use if you don't have a camera?
Contact lenses
Q:What do I use to make my eyes green?
A; Bat
Question: What's in me belfry?
Answer: a rock
What movie starred Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage?
Skull Dagger
Question: What do I wear on my belt?
Answer: plastic house plant
What do you use artificial water for?
Credit Card
question:what will be offically paid off next week?
answer: cheesecake
Question: What's good on a stick, but awesome dipped in chocolate?
Answer: Falcon
Q: What do you frequently seeing flying over Scarborough Faire.
A: French
What is the best kind of kiss?
Bulldozer
What do you use to wrangle cattle?
Flag
What was the name of the protagonist in Stephen King's, The Stand?
Intelligence.
Q: What is the least common, yet most sorely needed, natural resource in existence today?
A: Chicken wings.
Q.What tastes great with hot sauce?
A. Indulgence
Q: What do you get from a priest before you sin?
A: brandy
Q: What is the name of one fine girl who would make a good wife?
A: Dumpster
Q: What sort of platform do eco-conscious divers use?
A: Satellite
Q: What do couples turn to for entertainment once the honeymoon is over?
A: Spare tire
Q: What do aging baby boomers fondly refer to as "love handles"?
A: Mustard
q: what comes in a yellow bottle
a: deserts
Q: What you get that is just?
A: Cup
What do male athlete's wear?
Unity Candle
Q: What is the beginning of every divorce?
A: printer cartridge
Q: What gets chambered right before you blow up that Xerox that is ALWAYS jammed right when you need it MOST?!?
A: Pop tarts
What happen's when Queen Anne's Lace explodes?
Believe
Q: What do you find hard to do on a first visit to Disney World?
A: Violet
q: what is the plant that sits in my window
a: chocolate
What do parents snag out of the kids Halloween bag?
Downtown
Q: Where can you linger on the sidewalk where the neon lights are pretty?
A: Rock Lobster
Q: What do you do when a crazy lobster attacks?
A: Infomercial
What should be banned from television?
Rain
Q: What is generally thought to be part of Myth and Legend in TX, but seems to be manifesting in Sugar Land at this very moment?!?
A: Faire!!!
What open's its gates in Todd Mission Saturday?
Loki
Q: What is one of the most sought after beverages at Faire?
A: Iris & Rose
Q: Who are probably the most talented wenches in Texas?
A: perfume
Q: What did Catherine de Medici value so highly that she had secret passageways from her apartments to the labs to insure the formulas were not stolen along the way.
A: Bonfire
What is not allowed at faires in Texas this fall?
Charmed
Q: What am I, I'm sure, upon making your acquaintance?
A: Wit's end...
Q: What will you find opposite of Wit's beginning?
A: Two left feet.
Q: All that's to be seen of that unsuccessful dragon slayer...?
A: Stew
Q: What do you make with an unsuccessful dragon?
A: Smart Phone
Q: What is the biggest oxymoron of the decade?!?
A: RENvy...
What is Rani Zemirah experiencing right now?
Compassion
Q: What do you feel for a booth owner who got burned out accidentally?
A. Surreal
Q How do you feel after a day of bliss at Faire?
A: Six inches of string.
Q: What did my cat poop out last night?
A: A horse-chestnut tree.
What kind of tree annoys the nay.. bors?
Hotel room
Q. What accomodation is Bastrop does not have a mini-fridge?
A.Goatee
Q: Who does the goater give his animal to?
A: French maid
Q: What is the name of the servant who cleans my home?
A: Space Heater
Q: what is the item i run all year long
a: Saturday
Q. What day will I be going to the dog park because I can't be at TRF?
A. Lime
Q: What do you use to get rid of the evidence?
A: Coconut
Q: what is Merlin dressing as for halloween
a: spider
Q. What lives in the atic that I never go in?
A. pebble
Q. What don't you want in your shoe when you walk?
A: Paper napkin
Q: What paper product would make a terrible shoe deodorizer?
A: Virulent Chickens
Q: What makes the best Virulent Chicken Pot Pies?
A: Crazier than a road lizard.
Q. What is a bi-polar divorce client ?
A. Chastity Belt.
Q: What kind of belt did Sonny and Cher's offspring originally wear before his operation?
A: Left turn, Clyde
Q. What was the last thing Bonnie Parker said?
A. coat
Q: what is in the back of the closet
A: apple
What was Eve tempted with (possibly) in the Garden?
Pretzel
Q. What is long, twisted, tanish/brown, warm, salty and often observed going into the mouth of a pretty wench ?
A. Deep Meditation Trance
Q. What do 94% of the population find impossible to achieve?
A. Strawberry jam.
Q: What do strawberries with musical instruments get together to do in a garage?
A: House Boat
Q: what do you call a home on the water
A: Orlando Bloom
Q: What actor was left out of POTC 4?
A: Waterfall
Q. What does the dog see when he watches you in the bathroom?
A. ice
What does water turn to when it gets excited?
Sisters
Q. What does Merlin have fond memories of from his early years of education ?
A. Palindrome
Q: What character was Richard Boone supposed to play in the first draft of "Have Gun, Will Travel?"
A: juicy steak
Q. What is full of toxins and sure to land you in a hospital bed, sooner or later ?
A. malum in se
What was Balthazar in the Charmed series?
Lap Dance
Q. What do you have to do to get a missing "legacy" thread back into existence ?
A. Twister
Q. What was a floor game popularized in the 1960's?
A. boom
What sound opens a faire?
Ache
Q: What do the Arizona Cardinals feel like today?
A: Stink Bug
What bug do you squish and then wish you had not?
Optimus Prime
Q: What's the best rib in the house?
A: Toe jam
What does Andrew Zimmerman eat with peanut butter?
Rose
(http://www.glogster.com/media/7/40/69/75/40697534.jpg)
Q. What goes well with guns ?
A. The Kelly Family http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlli9ci2DqU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlli9ci2DqU)
Name another YouTube sensation?
Chaz Bono
Q. What member of the Bono family is not a household name for people over thirty five?
A. Black Velvet
Q: What is the background of your favourite Elvis picture?
A: Toad stools
Q. What does a frog look for when told to "pull up a chair" ?
A. GEM
Q: Who is married to Jim Smith?
A: tupperware
Q: What keeps my mold civilization alive in my fridge?
A: Beethoven
Q: In what appliance do you bake your beeths?
A: Lard
Q. What does Lord sound like in a bad Scots accent?
A. pepper
Fill in the blank. Sgt ______'s Lonely Heart's Club Band.
Halloween
Q. What is sometimes confused with a Hollow Weenie?
A. sticky
What kind of situation do most Rennies find themselves in?
Cow hide
(Q) Where did all the cattle go?
(A) Highland
Where is the most dangerous place for sheep?
Sausage
What is the worst kind of party?
*Rum*
What is the BEST kind of party?
Elephant
What is extremely large in a room but yet some people do not notice it?
Noobler
Q: What is a word starting with the letter N and is found in the Urban Dictionary?
A: pasta spoon
Q: What is the opposite of a futura spoon?
A: Golf tee
Q. What does a goldball wear in hot weather?
A. spike
Q: What is the best that can possibly be done to fruit punch?
A: Putty
Q: What do you do when you're on the greeny and you want to get the golf bally into the holey?
A: Asparagus
Q: what is a rubbery grass like food
A: crazy
Q: What one, good song did Willie Nelson write?
A: Peace-tied
Q. What weapon limitation does modern man tolerate than men of days gone would hack you in twaine for even suggesting ?
A. censorship
Q: What type of sea vessell do censors sail on?
A: Mundanes
Q: What do you call Great Danes that were not all that great?
A: Starfruit
Q. What results if a falling star drops a seed?
A. Rosette
Q: What do you call a diminutive rose?
A: Maelstrom
Q: What service did you use before FedExStrom?
A: Looney bin
Q: where did my manager escape from?
A: House
Q: What is the name of a television Dr. with an outstanding bedside manner?
A: Magnolia
Q. What's another name for a sweet thing ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D2nuzhIfHY (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D2nuzhIfHY)
A. dingleberry
What is the name of the moon that hangs around Uranus?
Rain
Q. What is there still a lack of in Texas?
A. Benzene
Q: Who is Hosszene and Little Joezene's pa?
A: AARP
Q. What sounds like a velociraptor on Jurassic Park?
A. Colander
Q: What do you call someone who is a citizen of 2 lands?
A: Upstart
What does autocorrect change your text to when you are trying to type upstairs?
Trick or Treat
Q. What does a wizard and a bar wench have in common ?
A. cornflakes
Q: What Kellogg's product did Jethro Bodine dine on all the time for breakfast on the BH?
A: Grindstone
Q. What are most people reluctant to put their nose against?
A. Malachai
Q. Famous Russian who was supposedly killed and came back?
A. A weird name. ;D
What are the names Lemonjello and Orangejello? (actual names of twin girls that I picked up one evening working on the ambulance)
Abracadabra
42???
Q. What do you post in a game when you want a PM from Anna Iram telling you that you are not doing it right ?
A. vibration
What do wenches love to feel at NASCAR events?
Peanut Butter
Q. What substance is similar to a bad wench's legs (smooth, creamy and easy to spread) ?
A. Summeria
What was a diplomatic space station in Starcraft?
Kim Kardashian
Q. What is excessive use of the letter K?
A. Nutella
What product, although made from nuts,and having the word "nut" in it's name, is not pronounced the way it is spelled?
Circus peanut
What is a sugary spongy item we all ate as a kid that is shaped like a peanut?
Chicken
Q: What should you not call Marty McFly?
A: Parabolic mirror
What is used to focus the energy of the sun so that you can cook a steak?
Roman Holiday
Q. What is term that loosley means a time of licentiousness?
A. Pear
Q: In what tree would you find a partridge?
A: Park Ranger
Who was the third in the Yogi and Boo Boo threesome?
Leather
What do cowboys, barbarians and Neaderthals all have in common?
Milkshake
What brings all the boys to the yard?
Twilight
When do the monsters come to get you?
Acupuncture
Q: What term does one use to indicate puncturing something in an accurate manner?
A: Quartermaster
Q. What is the definition of a mother in the middle of a divorce custody case who posts pictures on facebook showing herself at a party playing quarters, with shot glass in hand and her small children in the background ?
A. objection
Q: What do you raise when such a person is referred to as "mother?"
A: Debate
What competitive sparring depend upon the art of persuasion?
snow
Q. What is Texas likely to see more than its fair share of in the coming winter?
A. Squash
Q: What does 10" of heavy wet snow do to Ren faires in Pennsylvania?
A: Cat's eye marble
Q: What flavor ice cream at Ben and Jerry's didn't sell very well?
A: Astroturf
Q: Where does George Jetson's dog hang?
A: grease
Q: What was the word?
A: Frankenstein's Monster
Q: What was Victor's 4-year-old known as?
A: Quirk
What is Q-Bert's sister's name?
Lotion
Q. What do ladies use a lot more of in winter?
A. Lamb Chops
Q. Name a famous sock puppet from black and white TV time period ?
A. Kashmir
Q: What kind of sweater did Led Zeppelin sing about in 1975?
A: Digital rights
Q: What is found on your right hand?
A: pasta spoon
Q: What's a noodle's favorite sexual position?
A: Upper plate
Q: What wouldn't exist if there wasn't a lower plate?
A: telephone pole
Q: Who do you call if you have communications problems in Warsaw?
A: Ammunition
Q. What completes the following sentence: Praise the lord and pass the___?
A. Buck
Q: What is something that didn't get by Harry S. Truman?
A: Orange Crush
Q: What do you call a sicko's infatuation with citrus fruit?
A: Silverado
Q. What movie name comes to mind when thinking of a "bad western" ?
A. res gestae
Q: What was Beau Geste's sister's name?
A: Basic cable
Q: What kind of TV do you get at boot camp?
A: integrated circuit
Q. What was an item back engineered from visitor crash debris according to the former head of the Foreign Technology Division at the U.S. Pentagon (name, Philip Corso).
A. fiber optics
What are glasses for clothes?
Conspiracy theory
Q: What is conceived by people with too much time on their hands?
A: paper cut
Q. What is made excrutiating by salt?
A. Lemon
Q: What invariably ends up in my eye when preparing iced tea?
A: Tonsilectomy
Q. What word do you post to kill a thread for 2.5 days without needing to have any forum moderator powers ?
A. knee slapper
Q: What do you call a severely vertically-challenged woman after you say something rude to her?
A: Paradise
Q. What did you get to view by the dashboard lights ?
A. fur
Q. What will get you white-washed by PETA?
A. Sweet Potatoes
What enjoys being covered in marshmallow?
Dead equipment
Q: What gets buried in a tech cemetery?
A: chocolate pudding
Q: What did the Blob (1858) take to the prom dance?
A: Vital signs
Q. What would someone who lived in 1858 be lacking?
A. sticky notes
Q: What does a flautist who likes gooey candy end up with?
A: mental breakdown
Q. Name a reason celebreties may give for going to rehab ?
A. energy
What is something every Mom needs more of?
World of Warcraft
What in it's original version fit on a floppy disk?
Turkey
Q. The golf course in Bracketville, Texas is the only one to have what kind of bird living on its roughs?
A. Alamo
Q. Name a place of reverence in the history of Texas independence where few stood against many and paid the ultimate price for the comodity known as time, the most valuable thing to humans.
A. veterans
Q: What word if frequently misused by mentally challenged persons to describe one who provides medical care for animals?
A: Cell phone
Q: What do protozoa use to call home?
A: stomach ache
q. What is the likely result of unripe apples?
A. powder
What is the name of a bald extremely white guy who ran through a field by my house for a movie?
Katy Perry
Q: Who needs to go away?
A: Monroe
Q: What's the common name for a dead president and a dead movie star?
A: shelf life
Q. What would be the subject of discussion if two bookends talk ?
A. zebra
Q: What is the largest bra size available?
A: Box office
Q: Descriptive used by mindless office drones who can't spell cubicle?
A: Road Trip!!!
What involves lots of alcohol and random sexual acts of no meaning?
Christmas
Q: What will have a decidedly Celtic twist, and fall on Thanksgiving weekend for me, this year? (and, uhhh... I think you take MUCH different road trips than I do, Hyde! :o )
A: Underbust corset
What could make a board bumpy? What lifts and accentuates? What is every girls dream?
Chihuahua
What do you call a rat dressed up as a dog?
Coffee
Q: What does the doctor charge you for hacking up a lugie?
A: Twitter
Q. what do birds do in Disney Cartoons?
A. Pug
Q: If you were to take Winston Churchill and assign a dog breed to him based on his looks what would it be?
A: Embouchure
Q: What is the proper demonstration of "just put your lips together and blow"?
A: Tu-tu
Q: What comes after one-one?
A: Blowhard
Q: What does the weather in Oklahoma often do on short notice?
A: Scally Wag
Q: What Scally do when Scally Happy?
A: Turncoat
Q. What is a synonym for backstabber, betrayer, double-crosser, double-dealer, Judas, traitor ?
A. mainstream media
Q: What media is way out of place and should be flowing downstream after we flush the toilet?
A: Astral projection
Q. What is the name for a trip of a lifetime that the enlightened may actually experience by way of meditation ?
A. akashic records
Q. What would you call the records of a town named Akash.
A. Fredericksburg.
Q: What would you call a huge ice cube floating in the North Atlantic belonging to Freddie Kruger?
A: Onomatopoeia
Q: What was the winning entry in the "Invent a Difficult Word for a Simple Concept" contest?
A: dry spell
Q: What is a bad time for a wizard
A: Bayonet charge
Q: What is the result when you stick your blade into a wall socket?
A: Parasite
Q: What do you call twin lawyers?
A: Firetruck
What has been overused in Texas in 2011?
Drunk buttplug
Q. What causes a pirate to sing "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum" ?
A. scurvy
Q. What is the common name for an affliction caused by lack of vitamin c?
(sorry. I couldn't think of anything funny)
A. Pearly
Q: What does an expensive necklace taste like?
A: trail mix
Q: What do sheep and cows leave behind?
A: Flat
Q: What is one word that cannot be used in a sentence with Dolly Parton?
A: OMG!
Q: What is the most overused expletive in text messaging and also the expression a man thinks when he meets Dolly Parton?
A: The Wankel
Q: What is the British pastime that causes blindness and growth of hair on one's palms?
A: Trail Blazer
Q: What type of trendy sports jacket goes well on the trail?
A: waxing moon
Q: What do you call spreading carnauba on your buttocks?
A: Marijuana
Q. What did Bill Clinton claim he never inhaled ?
A. Terms of service violation.
What is commonly violated because it is seldom read?
Boston Terrier
Q. What is one of the cutest dogs on earth?
A. Remy Martin
Q: What is Merlin the Elder's porn name?
A: Transmogrification
Q: What happens to wemon at menopause? (yes all wemons troubles start with the word men equal oppurtunist here lol}
A: sarcasm
Q: What do I speak fluently?
A: Buffalo chicken
Q: How did Geronimo respond when he saw a herd suddenly turn and stampede away from a family of field mice?
A: Utter stupidity
Q. What is the label for a confused calf that attempts to nurse, the bull ?
A. cowboy
Q: What is a long-standing oxymoron in American culture?
A: Military Intelligence
Q: What is the same concept as 'Jumbo Shrimp"?
A: Tuna
What is the chicken of the sea?
Christmas
Q: What comes before Thanksgiving for many retailers?
A: crab cake
Q: What do you call a cake baked for the grouchy old codger next door?
A: Nunnery
Q: What is the opposite of summary?
A: Bandaid
Q: What helped Willie Nelson pay his back taxes?
A: Guitar Case
Q: What do you call the investigation when your Stratocaster is stolen?
A: Polar Bear
What has nothing to do with Coca-Cola but is their advertising mascot every winter?
Feral Hog
A: A harley davidson in the wild
Q: true blue
A. What color of dress would tempt Bill Clinton to engage in risky business ?
Q. foo-pah
Q. What Foo item is totally unrelated to Foo Fighting?
A. blanket
Q: What is the feminine form of a blank?
A: Avalanche
Q. What band plays the song "Frontier Psychiatrist" ?
A. top knot
What would you find slightly higher than the bottom knot?
Mead
Q: What lake on the Colorado River is the largest reservoir in the United States?
A: Apple core
Q. What was part of a classic children's game that promoted mild violence from the Merlin/Archer childhood time period ?
Disney example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGNIYEYWxm0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGNIYEYWxm0)
A. end game
What do you see in the white light at the end of your life?
Goat hide
Q. What is a place where goats can feel safe?
A. Blue streak
What do some people talk up one side and down the other?
Forest
Q: What do you lie down on your bed every night for?
A: mission control
Q: What do you call the head monk?
A: Snapping turtle
(http://www.pestcontrolrx.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/07/30/giant_snapping_turtle.jpg)
Q. Name a creature that you would not want thrown between your legs . . . while taking a bath.
A. Messenger
What was Joan of Arc?
Venison
Q: What do hunters in S.W. PA go crazy for this time of year?
A: knee high
What is the average height of a gnome?
Shipping
Q. What type of commerce oocupies the Houston Channel?
A. Beauregard
Q: What does a woman hopefully have for her fiance?
A: Chimney sweep
What stepped in time in Mary Poppins?
Clam
Q: What do 1930's gangster hoods call a dollar?
A: gat
What was a 1930's gun?
Due date
Q. What do some men feel that they are owed by women?
A. pancake
Q: What do you give the God of the Wild for desert?
A: Sweet nothings
Q. Which megaphone do you select when you just wish to give the garden a good once over ?
(http://theroehamptonlanejournal.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/sweet-nothings-mini-megaphone-papercraft1.jpg)
A. funny bone
Q: What do you call a joking femur?
A: near sighted
Q: What do you whisper to your hunting buddy when you finally spot a wild near in the clearing?
A: White cockade
Q: What is Bourbon dynasty?
A: Telephone Book
Q. What is patently useless because telephones can't read?
A. Turtle
What is faster than a snail?
Blockbuster
Q. qhat could be used for breaking up stone blocks?
A. Meringue
Q: What does calf slobber look like?
A: Tophat
Q. Name a hat that would not be first selected for outdoor athletics, sun protection, woodland use, hunting, fishing, or any other purpose other than "look at wearer" factor ?
A. circus
Q: What is one half of a large casino in Las Vegas?
A: Dressage
What do you use to date a dress? (Dressage - Dress age)
Steampunk
Q: What is the best method of cooking punk?
A: Whiskers
Q: What do you call the kitchen workers who beat egg whites into meringue?
A: Absolute zero
Q. What is the amount of influence a U.S. President (after FDR time period) has on the nation's economy ?
A. idea
What has Hollywood not had an original one in many years?
Leg
Q. What part of the human anatomy occasionally supports the buttocks ? (http://beauty.thefuntimesguide.com/files/sexy-legs-by-Tiago-Ribeiro-thumb-300x264-10163.jpg)
A. dolphin
What was released by Activision for the Atari 2600?
Ceiling fan
Q: Who might sit on the opposite side of the stadium from a floor fan?
A: Record store
Q: Where do you go to buy the lists of Olympic winners?
A: thumb wrestling
Q. What can be a one person sport?
A. arch
Q. What symbol, when colored yellow, makes small humans unhappy . . . until their demands are met to produce a happy meal ?
A. surprise
Q. What kind of gift does almost everyone like?
A. mistletoe
Q: What's worse than athlete's foot?
A: commonplace
Where do you find boring people?
Root beer
Q: What does a Unix Administrator like to drink? (some of you should understand...)
A: Standard Issue
Q. What do most politicians consider ill gotten gains?
A. Kilroy
Q: Who was just here?
A: Spaghetti western
What would not taste good with meatballs?
Facebook
Q: What do you call a tome filled with nothing but headshots?
A: battery acid
Q: What does a battery drop?
A: asphalt
Q: What's the German word for "asphalt"?
A: elbow
Q: What instrument preceded the oboe?
A: Asinine
Q. What is more desirable than a Cat-o-nine?
A. inches
What is a unit of measurement familiar to most men?
Laptop
Q: Where do lap dances occur?
A: Disassociation
Q. What is criticism of a like minded gathering ?
A. snooze button
What does everyone love in the morning?
Avatar
Q: What does a full giant smurf look like?
A: sanity
Q. has always been in short supply in humanity's mental state of being?
A. Fir
Q. Name the Taiwanese Mandopop pop rock band known for the song "Lydia".
A. walking stick
Q: What do you call a severely anorexic person?
A: Station break
Q: What do you call a TV channel that goes off the air for an undetermined period of time for no apparent reason, unless you have satellite TV in which all stations take a break due to a moving cloud.
A: Lint trap
Q: What is the technical term for a belly button?
A: buzz saw
Q: What do you call a hangover after a good beer buzz.
A: mission control
What will Mission Impossible be called when Tom Cruise is in his 80's and searching for a bathroom?
Texas
Q: Where will you find all of George Strait's ex-wives?
A: Night of the Living Dead
Q. What movie scenario inspired a number of interesting instructional videos ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzkJbWl45kU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzkJbWl45kU)
A. meatloaf
What do you call singing hamburger?
Pink goo
Q: What did my mother make out of red jello and cool whip?
A: hangnail
Gina
Q: What do you call the metal protrusion from the wall where you put your coat?
A: Toe Jam
Q. What is greyish-brown and made up primarily of dead skin cells, sock fluff and sweat ?
A. hurling
What did Archer's last question make Mr Hyde feel like doing?
Boxer
Q. What clothing article made Hyde famous and yet allows Hyde to hide most of the day ? (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_o5uHJ8JNTFY/SnmdK4jgrcI/AAAAAAAAEjQ/iVk5nVMxx7Q/s400/197.JPG)
A. shield
Q. What would be another name for a wind break?
A. reformatorium
Q: What is the name of the emporium where bad girls and boys shop?
A: Fiddler on the Roof
What is a great musical that Topol became famous from?
Acadia
A. What is either a National Park or a GMC product?
Q. Farfegnugen.
Q: What do you look for when you can't find a nearfegnugen?
A: polar bear
Q: What type of ursine is always manic?
A: Political correctness
Q. What does not blend with "Eye of Newt" ? http://www.politifake.org/image/political/small/1110/eye-of-newt-newt-gingrich-politics-1319303670.jpg (http://www.politifake.org/image/political/small/1110/eye-of-newt-newt-gingrich-politics-1319303670.jpg)
A. poker
Q: What do you do to make her quit snoring?
A: Internal medicine
Q: What is the opposite of External Medicine.
A: background check
Q: What do you call a resident of Prague who is standing far behind you?
A: Sweepstakes
Q. What does the janitor do after a wild night of vampire erradication ?
A. bling
Q. What is not the name of the singer famous for his rendition of 'White Christmas'?
A. Syrup
Q: What does a certain movie elf put on spaghetti?
A: Blunderbuss
Q: What do you call a vehicle that never arrives at its correct destination?
A: Ridiculous Responses! :D :D
Q: What do you call the Republican debates?
A: seed mole
Q: What do you call the male of the subterranean mammal of the family Talpidae?
A: German pancakes
Q. What is the opposite of German Torpedoes ? http://i819.photobucket.com/albums/zz114/littlerandyinfl/sep073.jpg (http://i819.photobucket.com/albums/zz114/littlerandyinfl/sep073.jpg)
A. less than zero
Q: What is the total IQ of the current U.S. Congress?
A: Nutcracker
Q. What item embodies the 'Cycle of Life when as the seed of a nut falls to the ground, it grows into a strong tree, living many years then finally nourishing the woodcutters and woodcrafters ? Option two: What item should be selected for proper application on more than 80 Congressmen for their votes made on the anniversary of the Bill of Rights ?
A. mindfreak
What is Chris Angel for some reason?
Pizza
Q: What is the missing word in this famous book title: Warra and _____?
A: Mister Greenjeans
Q: What do you call a man who wears a pair of blue jeans way too many times without washing them?
A: Magic Drawingboard
What did the Creator use to design the world we exist in?
Falling Leaf
Q: What was Eve's first excuse for her nakedness?
A: The tropics
Q. What is usually described in films as anywhere there are jungles?
A. Grape
Q: With what do you start the wine-making process?
A: Tricycle
What is the first mode of transport parent's buy so that children can crash and injure themselves?
Santa Claus
Q: What is one modern derivation for St. Nicholas?
A: Mistletoe
Q: What are there five of on a mistlefoot?
A: Alligator shoes
Q: What do alligators wear when not swamping?
A: Tree Topper
What was Will Ferrell jumping off the couch in Elf to put on the tree?
Mead
Q: Whad goes well with podadoes.
A: wristwatch
Q: What does the National Weather Service issue if there is a chance of a downpour of distal radioulnar joints?
A: Kumquat
Q. What is a fruit that everyone has heard of, but hardly anyone has eaten?
A. shooter
Q: What's a plastic device invented to make salad and a profit at Christmas time, then break down.
A: Bully pulpit
Q: Where does a mean preacher deliver his/her sermon from?
A: Cow hide
Q: What happens when the bull seek?
A: Astral projection
Q: What's the result of instructing Astra to project more in in her stage acting?
A: Dog days
Q. What is the measure of time for those in the doghouse with a spouse ?
A. modified
Q: What word describes someone whose communication method changes from quill and parchment to email, Twitter, and/or FaceBook?
A: Cell phone
Q. What is another name for a "communicator" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUeQJXznCtY (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUeQJXznCtY)
A. camel spit
Q: What do you run up into ungulate's arse and out through his mouth in order to roast him over the coals?
A: Speculation
Q. What is a conclusion or opinion reached by contemplation ?
A. dictators
Q: What is Richard Taters' nickname?
A: Absolute power
Q: What corrupts absolutely.
A: Toe-jam football
Q. What kind of football is played with your foot in a cast?
A. Fat free cottage cheese
Q: What kind of cheese do you churn in a very thin, small house?
A: Simple solution
Q: What sort of solution does Dr. Simple stir up?
A: Black-eyed peas and tamales.
(http://usamania.wikispaces.com/file/view/Mariachi.jpg/222630806/450x298/Mariachi.jpg)(http://photos.last-video.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/fergie-black-eyed-peas.jpg)
Q. What do you get when you mix a mariachi band and my humps, my humps . . . ?
A. vibrations
Q: What would you feed a vib during field exercises?
A: Donner Party
Q: What is an all you can eat buffet to die for?
A: Warped Thoughts
Q: What do you call thinking at the speed of light?
A: Candle power
Q. What is holding up my dilapidated basket of Twelfth Night candles?
A. ylang ylang
Q. What sound is heard when Dolly Parton jumps on a trampoline ?
A. brain fart
Q. What is a euphemism for memory loss
A. Intellectual humor
Q: What is obviously missing in some of the submissions in this thread? :P
A: Onomatopoeia
Q: What doesa Onamato hava to dooey aftereh he hazza a bottleo vino - eh?
A: Flatulence
Q. Does a tire do when the air leaks out?
A. Corporeal.
Q: What adjective describes the duties of one who is a single grade above a PFC?
A: Twitch and twitter
Q: So, what does a high-tech-savvy person with Tourette's Syndrone do throughout the day?
A: Bicuspids
Q: What do you call cuspids that like both sexes?
A: Trash talk
(http://www.threedonia.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/dumpster-diving-2-300x244.jpg)
Q. What doth twain dipsy dumpsters do, besides gathering sun and . . . resideth within yon alley ?
A. Shakespeare
Q: What did the Zulu warrior do in his war dance before attacking the Brittish at Rourke's Drift?
A: Cannonball Run
Q: What do you call diarrhea on the battlefield?
A: Dirty Harry
Q: What are the two best adjectives to use to describe a lollipop that accidentally gets dropped on an old hunting dog.
A: Capillaries
Q. What sounds similar; but is totally unrelated to Capuchin Monks?
A. Cowl
Q: What do you call a short scowl?
A: Varmint
Q: What is a good brand name for a varnish-flavored candy?
A: honor system
Q: How does the boss consistently, successfully steal from the office coffee pot and everybody knows about it?
A: Elbow room
Q. What did Jeffrey Dahlmer use when the fridge was full ?
A. Morbid
(Archer wins the question of the day!)
Q: What is the only way to beat the other guy at the auction?
A: Insufferable
Q: What is an anagram for "Fable infuser".
A: uvula
Q: Where can you find videos of vula?
A: Bill of Lading
Gina
Q: What is William of Lading's nickname?
A: Time bomb
Q: What do you get when you feed my Malamute and Akita leftover pizza?
A: Human resources
Q: What's the most under-valued asset of the corporation?
A: Trick knee
(http://aerialamy.com/blog/wp-content/themes/simply-pink//2011/10/knee-hold.jpg)
Q. What is a pole dancer's least favorite body malady (Latin: male habitus ) ?
A. smartarse
Q: What word best describes most of the posters on this thread?
A: Ironic
Q: What other term is used for a person from Persia?
A: cupcake
Q: What does Jack never eat for dinner?
A: toothpaste
Q: What does a dentist, whose lost his/her license, use to glue a crown on a broken tooth.
A: elbow grease
Q: What do you need to apply when you can't bend your arm?
A: Blackboard
Q: What did Blackbeard say when he had nothing to do?
A: hailstorm
Q: What's it called when all hail breaks loose?
A: Pass Interference
Q: What else do you call a urinary tract infection?
A: nose guard
Q. What is assigned to keep in check . . . a runny nose ?
A. brain freeze
Q: What did the zombies change the restaurant name to when they took over the Tasty Freeze?
A: Lost Weekend
Q: What else do you call a 56-hour workweek?
A: erector set
Q. What does Charo the hoochie coochie girl keep under her sweater ?
A. flash mob
What is another definition for Woodstock?
Barrel racer
Q: How do you draw a clover leaf using a rodeo horse?
A: straw dog
Q. What can a clown make for kids besides a balloon dog?
A. Crystalline
Q: What did Crystal snort?
A: ball peen hammer
Q: What kind of hammer makes you go look for another hammer so that you can pull nails?
A: shock absorber
Q. What do you call the subject who is sitting in a state penal institution's electric chair (besides unfortunate) ?
A. french toast
Q: What do you call Joan of Arc?
A: Prince of Wales
Q. What title was last held legitimately by Llywelyn ap Gruffydd? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llywelyn_the_Last)
A. Bear Bait
Q: What do you call the person you just tripped as you are running away from a massive Grizzly?
A: Speed Trap
Q. What is the prescribed remedy for heavy foot disease ?
A. pillory
Q: What do you call Killroy on Meds?
A: Micro Management
Q: What do you call it when you start ordering germs around?
A: freckle face
Q: What do you call a human canvas made to play dot to dot?
A: Sniper
Q: What's this wizard's favourite song from Harry Chapin's "Sniper and Other Love Songs" album?
A: Infinite regression
Q. What is censorship ?
A. Green Lantern
Q: What indicates that it's safe for the cart to transverse the crossroad?
A: Lord of the Flies
Q. Name a channeling creation by, William Golding. (http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/08/16/article-0-0257BBE60000044D-324_233x423.jpg)
A. Automatic writing
Q. What does a computer do when the cat sleeps on the keyboard?
A. Bluebells
Q: What can you find in the bell tower of Notre Dame Cathedral in the winter?
A: Saltwater taffy
Q: What was the name of the Pirate Wench that Bob O was last seen flirting with?
A: Merlin The Elder
Q. What is the name of Nim's hairy houseboy ?
A. lightening
Q: What effect does bleach have?
A: Retribution ("houseboy" my arse!)
Q. What is a synonym for some delicious payback ? :)
A. brother's keeper
Q: What do you call your brothers wife?
A: Dangerouse Curves
Q. What describes most highways in Arkansas?
A. bellicose
Q: What do you call enlarged veins during wartime?
A: Jumbo shrimp
Q: What's the name of the next horror film by Roger Corman whose title monster can only be killed by being drowned in a large vat of cocktail sauce?
A: Elephant Parts
Q. Describe a visual change noted in humans who contract/suffer with the syndrome, Elephantiasis.
A. pharmacist
Q: What do you call it when someone helps on a pharm?
A: Postage due
Q. Is there a price to pay for licking a Cat in a Hat ? (http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Cats/Cat-Hat-Stamp.jpg)
A. dolphins
Q: What do you call heir apparents to the Throne of France who can jump through hoops while swimming.
A: Vanderbilt
Q: What is redneck termiknowldge for "See that {Van There Built} her myself from the ground up.
A: Slippery
Q: What do you call a business that sells women's undergarments?
A: Apple Cider
Q: What is something you can not make with an Apple computer no matter how many times you run over it?
A: Misdemeanor
Q: What is the proper way to address Mister Demeanor's daughter?
A: Pond scum
Q: What is a life form an entire order of magnitude higher than the potentially dead man who tried to kidnap some of the neighborhood children here yesterday?
A: Smith & Wesson
Q: What do you call Oklahoma Security Systems?
A: Gun Control
Q; What do you call expert marksmanship?
A: Peace of mind
Q: What comes from an expert marksman eliminating pond scum preying on children?
A: Satisfaction
Q. What is the meaning of life ? (There ain't nothing to life but satisfaction. ~ Will Rogers)
A. zero tolerance
Q: After whom was the actor Zero Mostel named?
A: Drive shaft
Q: What does Richard Roundtree's chauffeur do?
A: Smoking gun
Q: What term was made famous as a result of the Watergate hearings.
A: Tiddlywinks
Q: What do you call the rapid eye-blinking movement when you see an extremely large-breasted woman?
A: Information Overload
Q. What is the most common internet affliction?
A. Pacify
Q: What is the genre of fiction aimed at the pacifier set?
A: Spongebob
Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
A: Logistics
Q: What's the thought process that involves the most efficient and effective means to transport logs from the shoot to the lake.
A: tie clasp
Q: What can you do if you don't want to win or lose against a clasp?
A: lemon zest
Q: What flavour soap goes best with iced tea?
A: Lady of the Lake
Q: Who makes land 'O Lakes butter?
*A: rum*
Q. What bottle do ye reach for when ready for some, "yo ho ho " ?
A. castle keep
Q: On a Countess' list of assets to let her Count husband have or for her to keep in the divorce settlement, where does the summer home go?
A: Homey
Q: Where do you go after worky?
A: anthill
Q. What is more popular than a McDonald's in some third world nations ? (http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Funny/anteater.jpg)
A. Rolaids
Q: What do you reach for after a tasty meal of fire ants?
A: Quaker Oats
Q: What ceral company, in the 1950's, as part of a special program called the Science Club, fed children oatmeal fortified with radioactive iron and calcium.
A: Gravy train
Q. What would Merlin use to feed a mean habit ? http://www.mintmagazine.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/mean-nun.jpg (http://www.mintmagazine.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/mean-nun.jpg)
A. bazooka
Q: What bubblegum did the old-timers chew in their youth? (PS: That nun looked too nice to be one from my past)
A: Turtle Races
Q: What brand is stuck under vitually every grade school student desk in the country?
A: Tracer dose
Q. What form of persuasion was used on D-Day to keep the skies relatively clear of Axis aircraft over the invasion fleet ?
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_go0QYOkH4xU/TAurz-g_MVI/AAAAAAAAHes/JMSqojXn6nk/s1600/D-Day+tracers.jpg (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_go0QYOkH4xU/TAurz-g_MVI/AAAAAAAAHes/JMSqojXn6nk/s1600/D-Day+tracers.jpg)
(try to pick a path to fly untouched through that, if ye can)
A. Briar Patch Charlie
Q: What sort of leg cramp do you get for stealing roses and getting chased through thorny brambles for it? (Not that I know this from experience.)
A: tennis elbow
Q: What kind of macaroni did John McEnroe prefer?
A: I don't know who that is...
Q. What is the most common answer given by husbands when asked the identiry of the woman at whom they are staring.
A. Marlin
Q: What did the near-sighted doctor write on my birth certificate?
A: Longest yard
Q. What is the length of patience required to moderate the mundane board on forum ?
A. Rubberband Theory
Q: What was proposed by my mother would end my life, and career as a paperboy, if she found one more of the said rubberbands sailing through the air in the direction of one of my brothers?
A: Johnson grass
Q) What does my neighbor smoke?
A) Oil Change
Q. What did the Tin Man look forward to when his oil can ran dry ?
A. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Q. What silly song immediately calls Dick Van Dyke to mind?
A. Chrysanthemum
Q: What sitcom parodies the wacky goings on of Christopher Columbus and Queen Isabella in their later years?
A: Fantastic Four
Q: What was the alternate title to the sequel to the Four Musketeers?
A: Fedora
Q: What did Jack do when Ora got hungry?
A: Stupid commercials
Q. What are those commercials about those things with wings that somehow help certain genders to hang glide better ?
A. dog biscuit
Q: What's one way to lose a finger by trying to make friends with a strange canine?
A: Cleft chin
Q: What is one possible outcome of falling face first onto a double-edged axe, stuck in a felled tree?
A: Lost Weekend
Q: What do you call it when TV broadcasts over both Saturday and Sunday a marathon of a terrible series about plane crash survivors who whine about their never-ending circumstances, but never seem to lose any weight.
A: crispy critters
Q. What is the label used by soldiers for napalm and flame thrower enemy targets ?
A. gung ho ( Gongye Hezhoushe ) http://www.history.com/videos/origins-of-gung-ho#origins-of-gung-ho (http://www.history.com/videos/origins-of-gung-ho#origins-of-gung-ho)
Q. What does a remarkably incomprehensible sentence consist of?
A. Epaulette Shark
Q: What do you call a shiny suit with shoulder boards?
A: Bib and tuck
Q: What are a piece of clothing made to protect from dribbling while eating, and a dribbling friar?
A: Oil change
Q: What never happens to the fryer at a Burger King?
A: Lube job
Q. What words could Jack throw out there to cause Archer to engage in a social faux paux or, faux pas ?
S. third eye
Q: What am I keeping fixed on Archer to ward off visits from the Legion of Decency?
A: Silly Wabbit!
Q) What do you get when you mix putty with a hare?
A) Diamond tip
Q. What coating does Merlin have on his tongue when soothing the Legion of Decency ?
A. silver bullet
Q) What's a nickname for a suppository?
A) Cat food
Q: What does a sushi bar serve?
A: River rat.
Q: What does a sushi bar serve?
A: Broken promise
Q. What is a divorce ?
A. chessboard
Q: What do you call getting tired of playing chess?
A: Smart politician
Q) Name something other than a unicorn that never existed.
A) prenatal vitamins
Q. What do you spend money on AFTER the toe curling exercises ?
A. unmentionables
Q: Who did the untouchables replace?
A: Bedbug
Q: What do you hide in order to listen in on someone in the throes of passion?
A: Dead bug
Q: What happens to said bug when the throes of passion become acrobatic?
A: Dislocation
(thank you Merlin great minds do think alike)
Q. What happens by surprise during an alien abduction experience ?
A. chicken lips
Q) What's the first thing that comes to your mind when I say PARIS HILTON?
A) Foreign object
Politically incorrect I know but
Q: What is it called when the Mexican disagrees with the Judge?
A: Politically Incorrect
Q. What faux pas attracts a pesky gnat and/or, opportunity to be, raptus regaliter ?
A. hysterical
Q. What does a hysterectomy cure?
A. Lyrical
Q: What does a lyricectomy cure?
A: Auto-immune
Q: What do you call a person who walks everywhere they go?
A: Captain Kangaroo
Q: What is a major kangaroo just prior to promotion?
A: Atomizer
Q: What do you call Ato when he is being really cheap?
A: Candle abra (Excuse the Spelling)
Q: What does a candle with very tiny breasts require?
A: Thesaurus
Q) Name an extinct animal with a speech impediment.
A) Lemon wedge
Q: What you you call a wedge that doesn't perform as it is supposed to?
A: Quality TV programming
Q) Other than leprechauns, name something fictional.
A) Sit-com
Q: What is the opposite of sit-excited?
A: Identity theft
Q. What may one take that turns out to be no better or worse than what he had before the taking ?
A. ironic
Q: What is the annual endurance competition for Santa's called?
A: jambalaya
Q) What do you call an orange drink that fibs?
A) Garter belt
Q: What does a common snake use to hold his pants up?
A: Income tax
Q. What does a government use to hold its pants up ?
A. penalty
Q. What does one wear in Penal attire?
A. Puerile
Q: What word describes a narrow walkway with no imperfections?
A: Cerebellum
Q What sounds like but is totally different that antebellum?
A. Faust
Q: What comes before Second, if you have a really screwed up accent?
A: House of Commons
Q: What is the only house in Great Britain that the Queen is not allowed to enter?
A: House of the Rising Sun
Q: What song did my brother play ad nauseum on his new guitar back in the sixties.
A: Classical Gas
Q. What happens when they serve beans at the Opera soiree?
A. tank car
Q. What is a Hummer 2 ?
A. Isetta http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7185/6879543927_bb51aa1740_b.jpg (http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7185/6879543927_bb51aa1740_b.jpg)
Q: What looks like a riding mower that gets you to work without bankrupting your fuel budget?
A: Riding mower
Q. What does my cousin have that comes equipped with two beer holders?
A, Red Neck
Q. What is another name for a John Deere motorcycle rider ? (http://cdn.9laughs.com/files/2012/01/redneck-pimp-ride-e1327806365280.jpeg)
A. Rumpelstiltskin
Q: What happens to your epidermis when you grow old?
A: Goldilocks
Q: What kind of fish do rich people put on their bagels?
A: Anaconda
Q: What's a synonym for 'because'?
A: cell phone
Q: What is the preferred mode of communication between the mitochondria and the nucleus?
A: Honeymoon suite
Q. What two words provide a mass group with memories that kill a thread for 24 hours or more, up in here ?
A. rest stop
Where can you find every form of depravity only a few feet from a highway?
Rodeo
Q. What is a well known street in Beverly Hills?
A. Quintet
Q: What do you call Anthony Quinn's daughter?
A: Cap and trade
Q: What do home brewers like to do with their freshly bottled brews?
A: Time off
What is the opposite of on time?
ivy
Q: What do you use to revive dehydrated plants?
A: Bird Seed
Q: What do you use to grow birds?
A: Antiquarian.
Q: What do you call a very old person who was born between Jan 19 and Feb 18?
A: Rastafarian
What is someone with unwashed dreads?
Dog food
Q. What is another name for "unwanted intruder" at Archer's castle ? (http://www.thelocal.de/articleImages/37489.jpg)
A. Inquisition
Q) What is the opposite of outquisition?
A) Bagpipes
Q) What, in the hands of an amateur, sounds like a bag of angry cats?
A) bank account
Q) What gets drained faster than an unplugged bathtub?
A) Submarine
Q. What is more fun than a jetski or wetbike ... (http://www.tensionnot.com/pics/albums/Automobile/Dolphin_Submarine/Pics_Dolphin_Submarine.jpg)
(http://www.tensionnot.com/pics/albums/Automobile/Dolphin_Submarine/Pics_Dolphin_Submarine_2.jpg)
(http://www.tensionnot.com/pics/albums/Automobile/Dolphin_Submarine/Pics_Dolphin_Submarine_4.jpg)
(http://www.tensionnot.com/pics/albums/Automobile/Dolphin_Submarine/Pics_Dolphin_Submarine_5.jpg)
(http://www.tensionnot.com/pics/albums/Automobile/Dolphin_Submarine/Pics_Dolphin_Submarine_1.jpg)
but watching them race is not a popular spectator sport ....
(http://images.inquisitr.com/wp-content/2010/03/submarine-races.jpg)
A. package
Q. What is UPS's favorite substitute football?
A. blueberry
Q: What is one fruit that hasn't been turned into a computing/communication device?
A: Lost world
Q: What do a call a misplaced earth?
A: resident evil
Q: What do you call a politician living in your home?
A: Foul Ball
Q: What happens when a flyball lands in the dog manure?
A: cow lick
Q: What allows you to determine the flavour of a bovine?
A: Fishing line
Q. what is another way to describe the story of the one that got away?
A. crossroads
Q: What do you get when you make highways angry?
A: hypersensitive
Q. What is the opposite extreme of not giving a shart ?
A. shamwow
Q) Name of an overpriced towel
A) Bull Frog
Q. On what animal might you not find a bull horn?
A. Vibration
Q. What is everything in three dimensional reality ?
A. frequency
Q: What did every shout when the old medical examiner was thrown in jail on a trumped-up charge?
A: Sleep deprivation
Q:a/What is a situation which creates strange and unusual conversations sometimes acompanied by hallucinations? b/ What is a form of cheap entertainment for friends and family? (sorry could not decide.)
A: Indesicive
Q: What's the name of a tooth that usually gets pulled or capped.
A: spit sink
Q. What do spit do when land on soft sand?
A. plywood
Q: What does the Hawker do at the lumber yard?
A: Ceiling Fan
Q: What do you call a person who follows the tour schedule of the band Ceiling?
A: Punk rock
Q. What do you call a rock with a prison record?
A. pinto
Q: What is the result of walking over a straight pin?
A: Eskimo pie
Gina
Q. What is probably not the best idea for a Pirate Name?
A. Snag
Q: What's probably not the best nickname for someone who works at a pantyhose factory?
A: Kneecaps
Q. When you don't pay the loanshark on time, what body part suffers first ?
A. painless
Q. What one tells you that your dentist is a sadist?
A. sartorial
Q: What do you call a documentary by Gaylord Sartain?
A: Gummy Bears
Q: What do you call a family of pandas after they visit a Juicy Fruit factory?
A: Criminal Intent
Q: What do you call a criminals thought when they do not wish to be caught?
A: Cow Hyde
Q. What is not the skin of a nauga?
A. mulish
Q. How could one say the adjective testarudo, de asno, terco in English ?
A. The last English king to seize the crown on a battlefield.
Q: Who was Henry VII, Alex?
A: A blueberry muffin.
Q: Who was Henry VIII, Jack?
A: Cow pie
Q. What is certainly less desirable that Chocolate Pie?
A. Pecans
Q: What do you call young Toucans?
A: Rubber biscuit
Q. Name my Sheperd's favorite chew toy. (http://friedneckbones.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/rbiscuit.jpg) (Rubber biscuit)
A. kazoo
Q: Gesundheit?
A: Moleskin
Q: Whatdo you get if you stay in the sun too long?
A: Cavity search
What did the role-playing "police officer" do?
Junk drawer
Q: What do you do when you're sick and tired of your drawer?
A: Polecat
Q: What do you call a cat that is into exotic dancing?
A: Bubblehead
Q: What do you call a blonde with an information overload? (needs to have air removed)
A:Horse Sense
Q: What do you get when you break a horse dollar?
A: Cell phone
Q: What do you use to make your one phone call after being arrested?
A:Dinner Bell
Q: What does a bronze eater eat at mid-day?
A: Social worker
Q: What do you call a geek/nerd trying really hard to get a date?
A: Mountain Dew
Q. What is actually pretty intoxicating in its original incarnation?
A. Almond
Q: What was the last name of brothers Duane and Gregg who formed a southern rock group from Macon, GA, was formed in 1969?
A: Vocal projection
Q. What happens when you stub your toe in an effective and complete manner.
A. shoe phone
Q. On what would you receive a call that you're unlikely to answer when wearing hip waders?
A. balustrade
Q: What do you call it when you swap baluses?
A: Inconsequential
Q. What is the correct answer to inquiry about calendar dates or time ?
A full tankard
Q: What is something that a good wizard should never be without?
A: Loud mouth
Q. What is Merlin's name for the person at work that hacked him off today ?
A. it is what it is
Q: What is water under the bridge?
A: Elbow macaroni
Q: What do you hope your elbow never turns into?
A: Quantum Physics
Q. What is one of Terry Pratchett's favorite terms to poke fun at?
A. egg salad
Q: What does Jack Daw's brain look and feel like at the end of a work week?
A: hot dog tongs
Q. What is the name of the new Chinese takeout place?
A. jowls
Q. For one who has them, what flaps in the wind when hanging the head out the window of a vehicle moving at 40 plus miles per hour ?
A. flappers
Q: What do you call jowls when hanging out of the window at 40 mph?
A: Intense negotiations
Q. What tactic is employed with a primary partner when you've thrown ye last gauntlet ?
A. crossbow
Q: What do you call a political summit held in more than one lean-to?
A: Cherry pie a la mode.
q. What is a euphemism for a physical act that cannot be described in a family forum
a pinecones
LOL! That made my sides hurt!
Q: What, according to Euell Gibbons, tastes like nuts?
A: Comic relief
Q: What do you call a funny outhouse?
A: Blood work
Q. What do you have to perform to make blood sausage?
A Kielbasa
Q. What goes well with a fish taco ? http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0bc8f37f12/kielbasa-fish-taco (http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0bc8f37f12/kielbasa-fish-taco)
A. popcorn
Q: Who is Baby Corn's old man?
A: Planet eater
Q. What is a black hole ?
A. Malta
Q: What is an Italian's favourite flavour of milkshake?
A: Sensible shoes
Q. What do you NOT call these ? (http://in.myshoes.com/wp-content/uploads/alien-shoes-76492811-300x300.jpg)
A. changes
Q. According to the song it is time to face the strange 'what'?
A. peacock
Q: What goes well with a peahen?
A: Androgeny
Q: What do you call an Android mixed with a Jenny?
A: Adhesive
Q. What is the last thing you would use to keep a relationship intact?
A. marbled
Q: What brand of cigarettes featured a cowboy in its print and TV advertising?
A: Sequestered
Q: What do you call a country & western star whose outfit is covered from head-to-toe with sequins?
A: Questionable motive
Q: What comes to mind when Bob O , Ferret , Merlin The Elder , or my sweet, innocent, and lovable self try to be nice to someone in corrupted wishes?
A: Not Guilty
Q. What two words cause the death of many trees by state and federal prosecutors who have the obligation to paper a government's prosecution of one presumed innocent ? (Yes, it was a mouthful question).
A. Edith Bunker
Q. What is totally unrelated to a German Bunker?
A. Quill
Q: What kind of pens does a porcupine wear?
A: Insurance fraud
Q: What is an example of a two-word redundancy?
A: Ear lobe
Q: What is the price we pay to keep our vehichles on the road?
A: Property tax
Q: What is the next size up from thumb tax?
A: Wise arse
Q: What is a statement made often in reference to "The Rabbi"?
A: Smart Arse
Q: What would you call Eeyore after graduation from M.I.T.?
A: Left wing
Q: What Tonto do when Tonto discover that Hooter's serve Bandit Taka wings as special.
A: thumb screw
Quote from: Jack Daw at Work on April 26, 2012, 05:51:32 PM
Q: What Tonto do when Tonto discover that Hooter's serve Bandit Taka wings as special.
A: thumb screw
*** I'm sitting out on this one....matter of decorum****
Q: What is a small man's alternative to fisting? :-[
A: Root Beer
:I'm lacking in the decorum department apparently:
**ROFLMFAO!!!** [[ better you than me, Jade!]]
Q: What is something that I'm terribly glad I wasn't drinking when I read Jade's last question?
A: Choking hazard
Q. What could we call our new brave member who has the nads to hang with the cool kids ?
A. Wonder Woman
Q: What is Jades new nickname?
A:Grateful Dead
Q: What are my ancestors?
A: syncopated rhythm
Q. What is a distorted version of Catholic birth control ? :P
A. Trojan
:Aw...thanks guys:
Q: What type of rabbit did Sir Lancelot and Sir Galahad forget to hide in?
A: Badger
Q: What is the opposite of Goodger?
A: Schoolboy pranks
Q. If you didn't say schoolboy pants, you might say?
A. Artistic Temperament
Q: Why did Van Gogh cut off part of his left ear?
A: a real humdinger
Q: What's a heck of a lot more fun than a fake humdinger?
A: Animal attraction
Q. What inspired Zappa's song "Camarillo Brillo" ?
A. Nanook
Q: Who was Alley Oop's girlfriend?
A: The Hand Jive
Q: What will get you a sex offender conviction in some states?
A: Weeping willow
Q. What thing from nature was the Celtic symbol of joy and under Celtic Tree Astrology was the symbol of the observer and metaphysical practices with a message to adjust to life, rather than fight against it.
http://www.whats-your-sign.com/celtic-meaning-willow-tree.html (http://www.whats-your-sign.com/celtic-meaning-willow-tree.html)
http://www.whats-your-sign.com/celtic-tree-astrology.html#CelticZodiacWillow (http://www.whats-your-sign.com/celtic-tree-astrology.html#CelticZodiacWillow)
A. inspired imagination
@#&@* Seriouse answers bite
Q: What creates a true Rennie?
A:Buffallo wings
Q: What will you never find on a buffalo?
A: snake bite
Q: What is Yukon Jack and Lime?
A: baby spiders
Gina
Q: What is a topping for freshly baked chocolate chip cookies that you would not normally want to use?
A: Clam chowder
Q: What duz yous tell a chowder ta do when it tawks too much, right?
A: gat
Q: What sits and meows and drinks from the pail as you milk the gow?
A: Army brat
Q: What grilled food goes well with Army beer?
A: Golden Rule
Q. What is 100 times more expensive than a silver rule?
A. Archimedes
Q: Who said, "Hey waiter! There's a fly in my soup - I can tell by the amount of soup displaced by its carcass."
A: Gluteus Maximus
Q: Who was the biggest arse in ancient Rome?
A: Hairball control
Q. What is a skill you need when dealing with a bad perm?
A. Closeup
Q: What is something obnoxious talky-talky people should do sometimes to avoid inserting their foot in their mouths?
A: curling iron
Q: What do body builders do?
A: stale bread
Gina
Q: What goes great with stale water?
A: fun dip
Q. What could one call a special evening with, Sharon Stone ?
A. Laconophilia
Q: What do you call a person who loves Laconos?
A: Philanthropic
Q: What is dispensing or receiving aid from funds set aside for humanitarian purposes
A: Endoplasmic Reticulum
Q: In the proper form (agranular) and quantity, what looks good in a bikini?
A: chocolate moustache
Q: If a man wants to look suave, what should he never wear in the hot sun?
A: crocodile tears
Q: What begins with crocodile rips?
A: Animosity
Q: Where do animals go if they'd like to live in a high-rise apartment?
A: Animal crackers
Q: What did Shirley Temple put in her soup?
Animal crackers in my soup
Monkeys and rabbits loop the loop
Gosh oh gee but I have fun
Swallowing animals one by one
A: spanx
Q: What is it that Nimue does to me when she gets frisky?
A: Bad boy
Q: Why did Pinocchio's nose grow?
A: Bull frog
Q. What could you call a frog with intact testes?
A. Symmetry
Q: Where do you bury dead people with even features?
A: Carbuncle
Q: Who is the husband of a carbaunt?
A: Homeland security
Q. What group has been functioning since 1492 ? (http://www.davidicke.com/images/stories/April201291/native_pics.jpg)
A. Farmer's daughter
Q. What is the second most dangerous type of woman to mess with?
A. Maudlin
Q: What do you call a person that's acting like Bea Arthur?
A: Towel service
I was looking at my copy of that very poster [Homeland Security] when I came up with my answer, Archer!
Q: What do you get when they run out of white gloves?
A: In-a-gadda-da-vida
Q: Where did Eve get tempted by Satan?
A: Girl Scout Cookies
Q: What is not made from real girl scouts?
A: Dictionary
Q. What is the second most purchased book that is hardly ever read by the average person?
A. Laurel
Q: Who wore a kilt many times with his partner, Hardy?
A: Antitoxin
Q: Who is divorced from uncle Toxin?
A: cheeseburger
Gina
Q: What is the favourite food of balding, fat, old wizards?
A: Beyond compare
Q. What are a knight's armpits under chainmaille, at the end of the day ?
A. stork legs
Q. What is considerably less edible than stork wings?
A. Pork Pie
Q. What is a favorite Congressional treat ? (http://thebsreport.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/government-waste.jpg)
A. rule breakers
Q. What type of people do Wall Street and Congress have in common?
A. Rain Coat
Q. What might you want five of before going on a date with Courtney Love ?
A. super glue
Q: What'sthe only type of glue that Superman would use?
A: Spinal tap
Q. What is a modern invention that makes giving birth almost bearable?
A. Forestry.
Q: What do you tell Fores to do when he wants to quit?
A: Knucklehead
Q. What do you feel like after you wake up at 4:00am on Saturday?
A. Bruiser
Q: In Japan, what do you call a person who likes the Blues?
A: Fan belt
Q: What do you call a cocktail consumed by a groupie at a backstage party?
A: Magic Man
Q: What dou you call a man who understands the thought process of a woman?
A: Mission Impossible
Q: What do you call trying to read a woman's mind?
A: Talk show host
What is a well paying occupation that requires no education or common sense?
bottle.
Q. What do I have too many of un my recycle bin?
A. Haring
Q: What do you eat with smørrebrød?
A: Wøndervøl Møøses
Q: What bit my sister?
A: teetotaler
Q: If you don't like the letter "o," why don't you leave them out instead of crossing them out?
A: Area 51
A: What 'Area' did I vacate three years ago for Area 54 today?
Q: Dental Plan
Q: What do some people have but do not use?
A: goody's powder
Gina
Q. What powder is useless, be it wet or dry?
A. Foxed
Q. What type of animal was in the hen house?
A. bed bug.
Q. What can you avoid if you keep your mattress well aired with clean sheets?
A. Jade
Q: what do you call it when a blue jay bombs you from a tree?
A: big apple
Q. What is a nickname for New York City?
A. poppies
Q. Why did Dorothy fall asleep?
A. monkey
Q. What was a popular dance in the 60s?
A. Weak-hearted men and small children.
Q: Who are those most likely to run from trouble that needs facing?
A: My elbow.
Q: What will never be in your ear?
A: Oct. 12th. - Dec. 1st.
Q: When is a big holiday season?
A: Morning Star
Q: Name a medieval weapon?
A: Grand Guard
Q. What do you call your Guard's father?
A. bubble wrap
Q. What do you call a cloak made of sea-foam?
A. cheese cloth
Q: Cotton cloth used primarily in cheese making and cooking.
A: Smithwicks
A: What happens to Smith when he dresses as a cotton ball for Halloween and accidentally falls into a vat of salad oil?
Q: Farmer Brown
Q-Which farmer is known to have promiscuous daughters?
A. Orange Julius.
Q. What was Julius's nickname after the citrus vat accident?
A. peanut brittle
Q: What happen to peanut after freezing in liquid nitrogen, then hit by locomotive?
A: Tartan, Frankenstein, and Tonto.
Q. What three random words contain the letters T and N?
A. Roaches
Q. What dark creature roams at night in apartment kitchens?
A. red light
Q: What's the dietary version of Big Red called?
A: Stage 3
Q: What's the stage number that's right after stage 2, and right before stage 4?
A: Fried Pickles
Q. What doesn't sell as well as fried Twinkies?
A. Velvet
Q: What type of fabric does George Costanza want to be draped in?
A: Basket weaver
Q: What is Fritz Weaver's brother's name?
A: Constantinople.
Q: What is the opposite of variablenople?
A: Frankenfurter
Q: What is Alfurter's last name?
A: In the Garden of Good and Evil
Q: Where will you find Good and Evil's shrubberies?
A: Blank space.
Q: What is tha area called that is between some peoples ears?
A: Knickers
Q: What do the Bockers wear under their skirts
A: Lost Horizon
Q. What is the biggest directional challenge of being blind drunk?
A. Blue Dragonflies
Q: What is the first thing you see when your vision begins to return after your blind drunk? (Doña, that was a ROFL!)
A: Fuzzy caterpillars.
Q: What's the name of the other stripper that made Sweetpea mad at Jacobi Jones?
A: Whisky sour.
Q/ What would be a cardinal sin to allow Jack Daniels turn to?
A/ Prodigal son
Q. What is the opposite of a Madrigal Son?
A. Wet Sunday
Q: What is a good excuse for not mowing the lawn?
A: Incomprehensible action.
Q: What is Action Jackson's first and middle names?
A: Paul Bunion.
Q: What is a rare foot malady plaguing Sir McCartney?
A: Whistlebreeches.
Q: What do you call the sailor in the ship's crow's nest on a windy day?
A: Yellow submarine.
Q: A place where a certain group of young men from the 60's proclaimed in song about a place they lived.
A: Persnickety
Q. What is the name of the book compiling the collected tea-drinking wisdom of Waldo Snicka?
A. Voluminous breeches.
Q: What happens to a participant's trousers in the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain?
A: Happy feet.
Q. How do my feet feel in sneakers after a long day at work?
A. cherry pie
Q: What would go REAL well with my coffee this morning?
A: Dirty socks
Q. What do you get from a muddy boxer?
A. Gingerbread men
Q: What do you call the red-headed lads who deliver fresh loaves in Scotland?
A: In the interest of safety.
Q: Why do husbands tell their wives, "Yes, dear."?
A: Coffee for two
Q. What do you have the morning after 'getting lucky'?
A. Dumplings.
Q: What nickname do you NOT use with your significant other if you want to enjoy coffe for two the next morning?
A: Carbon dating.
Q: What do people in my age group do for fun?
A: Apple Strudle
Q. What do you do after you push strudel? ::)
A. A night at the opera
Q: What happens after a Day at the Races?
A: nightmares.
Q: How do you refer to females horses after sundown?
A: Horror story
Q: What's the opposite of history?
A: Jackknife
Q: Who went up the hill with Jillknife?
A: Toadstool
Q: What does the doctor ask the toad to leave in a cup when the toad is experiencing cramps?
A: After-market parts.
Q. What is another way of saying substandard parts?
A. Ripe Fig
Q: How would you describe a fig that hasn't bathed in days?
A: Insufferable wretch.
Q: Who's the strange twin sister of the sufferable wretch?
A: Peddle pushers
Q: Who sell illicit peddles at the local high school to unsuspecting students?
A: Teething
Q: Why did the baby would gnaw on the pirate's wooden leg?
A: butternut squash
Q. What is almost as good as butternut ice cream?
A. Bean Soup
Q: What should you avoid eating before going to parties or public swimming pools?
A: Pink Hydrangea
Q: What should you avoid eating before going to parties or public swimming pools?
A: Pink elephant
Q: What should you avoid eating What do you get when you slightly embarrass a pachyderm?
A: Dual barrels
A: What do you need if you have two rain gutters?
Q: Common cause
Q. Who is the lesser known brother of the Noble Cause?
A. Spam
Q: What sandwich filler did mothers in the 1960s use to keep their children alive in grade school, and was untradeable among fellow students?
A: Tropic of Capricorn
Q.. What line divides the Land Down Under into the North and South?
A. Aurora Borealis
Q: What wiz me mither's name? (sniff)
A: Bonsai
Q: What's French for "good sai."
A: Tailor made
Q: What poor spelling person keeps house and cooks for the composer of "Fire and Rain?"
A: Poppy flower
Q. What bloom was one of the original Washing Well Wenches named after?
A. Stark naked
Q: What do you call Iron Man without his armour?
A: Left field.
Q: What's left of centerfield?
A: Cast iron
Q: What do actors in a theatrical troupe use to press their costumes?
A: Outsource
Q: Where does one purchase an outhouse?
A: Granite
Q: If Cary Grant lived during the Stone Age a la Flintstone, what would be his last name?
A: Two fingers.
Q: What is the minimum amount of Jack Daniel's worth pouring for a sip?
A: Sour mash
Q: Whaddaya get when you accidentally spill vinegar into your "bashit tatties"?
A: Spring cleaning
Q. What do you do to find out bits of jewelry and money in your garb before Sherwood?
A. Garlic powder
Q: What does one use to ward off dehydrated vampyres?
A: Dragon breath
Q: What does Merlin the Elder get the next morning after too much JD the night before?
A: Tandem bike
Q: Bicycle that the Tandem Twins can ride on together.
A: RenNado
Q: What is the only thing that will quickly sober up a Texas Rennie?
A: Tentacles
Q: What do you call a cluster of small tabernacles?
A: Pole vault
Q: Where do you put people in Warsaw to keep them from being stolen?
A: Toaster oven.
Q. Where would you put half-baked keynote speakers?
A. Candy Corn.
Q: What is the only known food with a longer shelf life than Twinkies?
A: Oil Change
Q. What do some pirates desperately need for their dreadlocks?
A. vindaloo
Q: What do Vindas call their bathroom?
A: Computational substrate.
Q: What is the opposite of a computational subangle?
A: Hashmark
Q: What is left in the hash pipe when you are done?
A: Naughty girls
Q: What are naughty boys always on the lookout for?
A: Quicksilver
Q: What do you call an electronic transfer of funds?
A: Walrus tusk
Q: What song might you get if you did a mash-up of The Beatles with Fleetwood Mac?
A: Foggy morning
A. What might follow an overenthusiastic evening?
Q. ripe bananas
Q: What does Bobby Munson of Sons of Anarchy use to make banana bread?
A: Soft tail.
(** I'm not going there **) :o
(It's a Harley-Davidson model, Merlin)
(heheh...Yeah I know, Jack. It's just so ripe for my kind of abuse!)
Tail dragger
(This is often so instructive; "of what," well...)
Q: What kind of flogger is the best to be hit with?
A: wind blown
Q. What is a good description of a yacht off course?
A. Chocolate Chip Cookie
Q: What does one need several of before one can call it a decent meal?
A: BR-549
Q: What comes after BR-548?
A: Orange Crush
Q: What did the young Apple have on his citrus teacher?
A: Insurmountable odds
Q: What are the opposites of surmountable evens?
A: Apple jack
Q: What do you use to raise an apple in order to change its tire?
A: Inferiority complex
Q: What do you call a group of buildings with low self esteem?
A: elbow macaroni
Q: What do you use when you run out of knee macaroni?
A: Falling Rock
A. What did Doris Day have to shout when her co-star would trip on the movie set?
Q. Dewey decimal system
Q: What is the number theory posited by one of the nephews of Donald Duck?
A: Transcendental medication
Q: What do ascended beings (and irrational numbers) use when they get [sic]?
A: High as a kite.
Q. What does a flock of geese aspire to exceed?
A. permanent solution
Q: What happens when you use duct tape to fix something "just while you figure it out."
A: Mandrake
Q: What is a common term for the male drake duck?
A: Courtesy Call
Q. What is the opposite of a crank call?
A. Cabbage Soup
Q: What smells like trouble to the digestive system?
A: Corn squeezin's.
Q. What is the medical term for trying to put a size 9 foot into a size 6 shoe?
A. Slippery slope
Q. What is the result when the nude sunbathers use too much coconut oil?
A. gobstopper
Q: What's a colloquial expression for 'decongestant'?
A: Root canal
Q. What is one transportation method used by rabbits to harvest your carrots and potatoes?
A. dryer lint
Q: What is a more sanitized option to belly-button lint?
A: Insanity
Q. What is preferable to inanity?
A. Eraser
Q: What is the most common object that 2nd grade boys throw at each while at school?
A: Sprocket
Q: What's an inappropriate Vulcan curse?
A: Toe jam
Q: What do you get when you walk through the bedroom in the dark, misjudging where the bed is?
A: Joint custody
Q: What happens to a pack of marajuana cigarettes when conficated by The Man?
A: Polished brass
What did the sheep do as it ran thru the candlestick shop?
Carniverous flying squirrels.
Q.What does the dog next door suspect are in his trees?
A. black wool
Q: What's the name of the first woman to receive a medical degree in the U.S.?
A: Haberdashery
How do you miss spell the running of men with halberds?
White chocolate crossbow
Q: What confectioner's candy gives you a scratchy throat when swallowed?
A: Chocolate bark
Q. How does a chocolate dog communicate?
A. Snickerdoodles
What happens when you you drool while giggling?
mud pies
Q: What just doesn't taste right when made with sand?
A: Candy cane
Q: what kind of cane makes for a sticky hand hold?
A: foggy bottom
Q: What view of the stripper did the myopic playboy get?
A: Egg roll
Q. What happens when chickens nest on a hill?
A. Marsh Field
Q. What was an early position in old-time baseball?
A. Rum balls ;)
Q: What happens when a pirate spills his drink in his lap?
A: Hot Crossed Buns
How do they punish the pirate for spilling his rum?
purple socks
Q. What happens when a grape stomper only takes off his tennies?
A. red robin
Q: What do you get when you spill crimson paint all over the Earl of Huntington?
A: Knee slapper
A: What does one do when a bee lands upon there knee?
Q: Bees Knees
Q. What is definitely skinnier than chicken knees?
A. Dear Ale
Q: How do you address a love letter to your favorite beer?
A: Beer pong
Q: What do you call ping pong when the loser has the buy the winner their choice of beer?
A: Copper Coil
Q. What should you be careful not to confuse with a Copperhead snake?
A. pink foam
Q: What do the singer, Pink, do when she get mad?
A: NetFlix
Q: What do you call movies about tennis stars?
A: The Hoochie Coochie.
Q: What do you get when sneezing while trying to do the Hokey Pokey?
A: Green toes
Q: What does a misdirected gardener have?
A: An artichoke a day.
Q: Can you describe Nureyev's dancing, Bruce Lee's stranglehold, and a fruit fly's lifespan?
A: A wine rack
Q: What do you call a bosom large enough to safely hold a magnum of Cabernet?
A: Woodpecker
Q: What one might end up with if said one takes too much Viagra. :o
A: Bench Press
Q: What "Coach" Jay Carney do when media lose ball during pick-up game?
A: Forward pass.
Q: What route would have gotten Wrong-Way Corrigan to his intended destination?
A: Gravity feed.
What can you eat to make everyone gain weight?
Roast turkey soda.
Q: What didn't sell well at the local soda fountain during the 1940s?
A: Ear wax.
What do you use to polish corn?
Boot lace
Q: What didn't sell well at the local soda fountain during the 1940s?
A: Butt wax.
Q: What makes a kid slide down the staircase railing a lot faster?
A: Tartar sauce
Q: What do you spit out when you brush your teeth for the first time in six months?
A: Tax rebate
Q. What is almost as rare as hen's teeth?
A. Quadrille
Q. What is one better than a Trirille?
A. Empty whiskey bottle.
Q: What is a great travesty?
A:Don Quixote
Q: What you call jack weed puller that is arrogant?
A: goatee
What do you call someone who is given a goat?
blinking dust
Q: What do you do in a dust storm when you haven't covered your eyes well.
A: Twix
Q: What The Impressive Clergyman would have responded when asked "What breakfast cereal does the silly rabbit want?"
A: 3 Mile Island
What do you call a freestanding kitchen counter in a house belong to Mr & Mrs Mile and their baby.
...and your answer, Hoowil?
How did I miss that?
Fuzzy pickles
Q. What happens when the pickle vendor discovers he'd neglected to close the jar properly from the year before?
A. Fuzzy navel.
Q: What do you call an unshaven midshipman?
A: If all else fails, run.
Q: What was proposed as an advertizing jingle for Depends Adult Undergarments that failed?
A: Tongue depresser.
A: What causes your tongue to take Zoloft?
Q: Spring Fever
What is a disease contracted by getting hit with a large coil of steel?
botanical anthropology.
Q: What do you call the study of the ancient peoples of Botan?
A: Nasal passages
What would the oceans be full of if it weren't for the letter V?
Garb surplus
Q: What do we have too much of because not enough people will go to faire?
A: Animal magnetism
Q: What do you get when you coil wire around a dog with iron-rich blood?
A: Bull Shirt
Q: What do you wear with dog pants and cuff lynx?
A: Tongs
Q. How is Nymphadora's last name pronounced during hayfever season?
A. maple syrup
Q: What is a less definitive statement than "Will pull syrup?"
A: Four woodchucks and a wheel barrow.
Q: What do you call a quartet of land-beaver and a second-class lever?
A: Elbow grease and knee pads.
Q: With what to you lubricate and protect your joints?
A: Foreign affairs
Q: What do you call it when I get frisky with a couple of French girls (besides wishful thinking)?
A: Accept terms of service.
Q: What is more pleasant than accepting a term in prison?
A: Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum
Q: What the Fairy "Madame" whispers to potential "clients". Loosely translated, "there's a modest Fee if you want to Fi Fo with my Fum"! ???
A: Chicken Little
Q. What do you get from the children's menu at KFC?
A. Penultimate
Q: What do you call those Mont Blanc writing instruments that are ridiculously priced?
A: Sub Zero
Q. What would you call a smaller ghostly canine from "A Nightmare Before Christmas?"
A. can of corn
Q: Hmm, what do you get when you, in fact, eat a can of corn?
A: Tennis elbow.
Q: What kind of macaroni does Serena Williams cook?
A: In a surrey with the fringe on top.
Q. Where will you be when the wind comes sweeping down the plain?
A. The vessel with the pestle.
Q: What is also something you can launch at the enemy?
A: Total confusion
Q: What is the title of a Chinese philosopher's complete biography called?
A: Eliminate the negative
Q. What do you do after you Ac-cen-tuate the Positive?
A. Mairzy doats
Q: What is followed by, "...and, goats-e-doats..."?
A: Whisk(e)y in a jar-o.
Q: What is something that the Wizard could use right now to ease the aches and pains of the day?
A: Barrel of fun.
Q. What was the immediately discarded slogan for the Acme Port-a-Potty Company?
A. Welsh rarebit
Q: What would you find opposite a Welsh commonbit?
A: Emergency fund.
Q. How do you pay for a special appearance by Randolph Mantooth?
A. St. Louis Arch
Q: What could be the biggest headache for a mid-American podiatrist?
A: Dime-a-dance. (** heh-heh! RefMom3, you're funny! **)
Q. What is another name for a 10 cent jukebox?
A. Conyrine
Q. Why is it more challenging for a chemist to be a bartender or chef?
A. Tuppence a bag
Q: What did Mary Poppins' charges used to pay for a dime bag?
A: Milk of Magnesia
Q. What may you find in Magnesia's refrigerator?
A. Quality not quantity
Q: After observing the statues in Italy, what must a good many Italian lovers rely on for romance?
A: 52 card pick-up.
Q: What must every child fall for at least once?
A: giant windmills
Q: What was the Dutch stripper's greatest assets? (sorry)
A: Bug spray.
Q. What do annoying cubicle neighbors use to make sure they're not missed by co-workers when they're on vacation?
A. Peel and stick floor tile
Q: What does a rubic cube become after your child removes the stickers.
A: donkey kong
Q: What do you call an Equus africanus asinus that likes to climb New York skyscrapers?
A: Deputy Dog
Q: What was Under Dog before he became a superhero dog?
A: Genital cuff
Q. What was the most frequent sort of accident on the set of Fifty Shades of Grey?
A. Forever stamp
Q: What is a tattoo?
A: Manila envelop
Q: What do you put your letter in to mail when you live in the Philippines?
A: Bankers' hours.
Q: When is the best time to rob a bank?
A: Moon River
Q: Where do people go to wash their backsides?
A: Interpretive dance.
Q. What is the communication method often employed by dogs and children when they have "to go?"
A. feather duster
Q: What did effeminate cowboys in the Old West wear as they rode into the sunset?
A: Vlad the Impaler
Q: What do you call the passage of time a fisherman takes along the side of a river?
A: Five o'clock shadow.
Q. What is Lamont Cranston's nickname at quitting time?
A. banana daiquiri