My wife and I spent the evening in the local emergency room.
A little bit of whats been going on:
My daughter is 16 months old. When my wife was 9 weeks pregnant with her, we had out first ultrasound, and things did not look right. What the doctor found had the size of an embryo about 5 weeks along. After a series of blood tests it was determined that the hormones that coincide with pregnancy were dropping rather quickly, and that we were probably loosing the pregnancy. Kind of on a gut feeling, the dotcor asked if we wanted him to do one last ultrasound to see how things were. On that one, he located a second form. This one was healthy, and everything looked wonderful. We got to watch a little heart pumping away. We were origninally having twins, and one stopped developing, and was lost. Amara was born two weeks late, but healthy and whole.
We decided this winter to have another baby, and got a positive pregnancy test the first week of March, which would have put the due date roughly a month before our daughter's second birthday.
This last Monday we went in for the first ultrasound. Again, what was found was small, and not developed. There was no heartbeat visable. Given our history, we asked the doctor to keep looking, make sure there wasn't another. Not this time. Again with blood tests to track the pregnancy hormone levels. The first was done on Monday. The doctor called Tuesday to let us know that the levels were consistant with the estimated age of the embryo, and that we should come in next week, after they study the results of a second test. The second test was Wednesday. Wednesday my wife started feeling a little off, a little crampy. Tonight, as i finished putting out daughter to bed she came into our room, nearly doubled over in pain.
I rushed her into the ER, and we waited. She's been passing alot of blood, but the cramping has stopped. There is no more baby.
Neither of us are sure that we could handle this again. It makes our daughter seem all the more a miracle, after loosing two.
I keep picturing scenes of a seemingly impossible future, of my children playing at Christmas, of them dumping out Halloween bags to fight over who got more candy before they trade for heir favorites, of my daughter trying to get up into the clear bassinets they use at the hospital trying to see her younger sibling. One of Amara's first words was baby. She points pictures of her self and says baby, she points at other little one while we are out and about, and says baby. I want her to reach for a little wrapped bundle saying baby.
But I don't know if I can go through the heartbreak again. I don't want my wife to go through it again. I don't even want to see my wife in such pain, physical, emotional, or spiritual ever again.
My heart goes out to you. Life is a precious gift and in the chaos of todays world, your desire to create more is admirable. The miracle of your daughter is something to cherish. Celebrate your moments with love and laughter. May the heavens bless you and your wife with another when the time is right. There are so many children in the world who deserve parents like you and sadly so few that do not have them. I will light a candle of strength and healing for your family. Peace and blessings
My heart goes out to you and your wife. My husband and I found ourself in a similiar situation. I tried for years to get pregnant, nothing . Even went the infertilty treatment road. I ended up getting pregnant only to miscarry .
I had the hardest time looking at other couples with babies after that. I would sit and cry.
Then a miracle happen, and i found myself pregant again. Everything went well until i was in the seventh month. I got extreme pre-eclampsia and toxiemia and ende up going code blue and had to medivac. I ended up having an emergency c-section. My son was born 3 months early. But he was alive and healthy.
He is now a healthy 4 year old, but i have been told not to risk having anymore children, and it breaks my heart, cause i came from a big close knit family, and wanted my son to grow up with brother and sisters.
My husband and I have talked about maybe looking into adoption , but it can be very expensive.
I have learned to treasure my little miracle baby. I try to spend as much time with him as possible. He is one of the best things that ever happen in my life,if not the best.
I know it is hard right now, but cherish your little girl, and just hold her tight.
Hugs, love, and healing prayers to you and your wife.
I'm so sorry!
I've had that happen, twice, and it was so hard to go through!
You'll both be in my thoughts and prayers!
{{{HUGS}}}
You and your wife are in my prayers.
I got chills reading your post, and I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers, positive energies, good thoughts and healing vibes to you and your wife Hoowil.
I am so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine the pain that you and your wife have gone through.
Healing thoughts and much love sent your way. {{{{HUGS}}}}
Treasure what you have - a healthy child and a blessed marriage. So many don't even have that. We have three girls and each was hard to come by; when I was pregnant with daughter #3, like Amy, I had toxemia and were it not for c-sections and antibiotics, we would both be dead. But I still fantasize about Christmas mornings in a two-story house, with my kids playing happily with each other, homemade costumes for Halloween. Yeah, right. The youngest is 18 and we didn't even come close to that "dream". That's why we MUST treasure and revel in whatever we have at the moment. Count your blessings and I bet you have more than you think.
Your family will be in our prayers as you heal.
When I lost my baby, the doctor said something I didnt like at the time...but it makes sense now.
"It seems like God is being cruel and harsh and non loving right now... but you have to understand that something was terribly wrong with the baby, so God made a very tough choice to bring the baby home so none of you had to suffer. "
blessings upon you and yours. The grandmothers gather to you now and offer their comfort.
Well, we went in to see the doctor again today. We are pregnant again. Every thing looks good so far. The doctor couldn't find a heartbeat, but the developement is right on schedule, and we got to watch the little one move. At nine and a half weeks, we're not totally out of the danger zone, but well past the point where the other two stopped. Cross you fingers and happy thoughts, but it looks like April 20 for the little one to come to us.
Sending blessings your direction! Will be praying for you all...
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.I will keep you and your wife in my thoughts and prayers Hoowil.Also congratulations on your new little one.
Congratulations! I understand you're fear! I had a miscarriage last year and we are considering trying again but that fear keeps me questioning.
Congratulations!! Sending good thoughts and warm wishes your way!! You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers!!
Wishing you the best!
Woohil. Your wife is in my thoughts. I too suffered a misscarriage after 8 weeks in August of 1975. My daughter was just over 3 months when I became pregnant again. In MAy of 1976, I was pregnant again and had a robust son in February of 1977.
I am sure when the time is right, things will work out ffor the best.
Congratulations! Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.