heartbroken

[renniegirl85]

You're in my thoughts. I lost  my grandmother on Dec 10, 1992 and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her at least once. Being so close to the holidays made it hard, but it will eventually hurt less. We're all here for you. *hugs*

[Peddlin]

Glorianna, Dear -

Try not to think of him as being gone, because he will always be with you, and there is no safer place for him to be than in your heart. Remember every glorious moment you had with him, and be grateful. That is so much more than some people ever have. You are a very fortunate woman to have had that kind of love.

[Lady_Glorianna]

Well, this past weekend was a hard one. On Friday I took my parents to the airport and was ok until that afternoon when I started to feel like Ron was going to walk through the door at any minute. I kept feeling like that through Saturday. I had hoped to go the Pyrates Royale concert. I couldn't. My cousin came over and we spent the night talking, watching movies...Sunday was three months and the hospice's memorial service. It was a bit disappointing I guess due to my high expectations about it. Monday my counselor stoped by and we talked some things out. Tuesday I called in sick. Between the weather (damn cold) and all the stresses (I had a call from a creditor who told me among other things that I am not supposed to profit from the death of husband and indirectly threaten to come after my house, the sadiverssary and just daily grief-stress) I just couldn't function.

On the somewhat good side, I have an appointment with the lawyer tomorrow and received news today that finally my back injections have been approved and will have my first one on Tuesday...

[Fairyfly]

*HUGS* Hun you are still in my thoughts every day! I know it's so hard to continue when your heart aches the way yours does. I may not have known Ron well, but from everything I've seen and heard of him, I know he would not want you to suffer like this. He would want you to keep living, for both of you! Cherish every moment you had with him, and make him proud in every moment you have until you two can be reunited. From the generous smile and warm personality I remember meeting, I know he would want to continue to see that smile he loved, and the laugh that always brightened his day. Find something at least once a day that brings those back and out so he may share in them with you, because he is still with you in heart and spirit!

When you feel him near, or get that feeling he's going to walk through the door any minute, I believe he's trying to let you know he's still there, by your side, as always. It's hard, but try giving him a smile when you feel like crying at those times.

And never forget that you've still got a Very loving Family right here with you sharing every step of every day! *HUG*

[lordwriothsley]

*HUGS* Hun you are still in my thoughts every day! I know it's so hard to continue when your heart aches the way yours does. I may not have known Ron well, but from everything I've seen and heard of him, I know he would not want you to suffer like this. He would want you to keep living, for both of you! Cherish every moment you had with him, and make him proud in every moment you have until you two can be reunited. From the generous smile and warm personality I remember meeting, I know he would want to continue to see that smile he loved, and the laugh that always brightened his day. Find something at least once a day that brings those back and out so he may share in them with you, because he is still with you in heart and spirit!

When you feel him near, or get that feeling he's going to walk through the door any minute, I believe he's trying to let you know he's still there, by your side, as always. It's hard, but try giving him a smile when you feel like crying at those times.

And never forget that you've still got a Very loving Family right here with you sharing every step of every day! *HUG*

That was very nicely said FairyFly.I could not agree with you more on everything you said sweetie.

[William_MacKean]

M'Lady,
I wish to offer you my deepest condolences on your loss and my most earnest support as you heal your spirit.  It may take some time, but you will be OK.  I have felt your pain.

I, too, have lost much.  In November, I lost a best friend to skin cancer, another to pancreatic cancer, and a third to a heart attack.  All were near my age of 34.  Last month I lost another to kidney failure.  My mother went in for emergency brain surgery in November with a 5% chance to survive.  (She did.  All is well.)

It was all hard on me.  So much, so close, and so fast!  I didn't know what to do or how to act or who to turn to, since my former 'rocks' are all dead and 1 is recovering.  What to do?  I felt so alone and so scared.  What to do?  How to move on?  Who do I tell about my day, now?  I felt trapped in a small boat in still waters with no land in sight and no idea where land was.  What to do?

Then I remembered what the Assistant Undersecretary for the Department of Homeland Securuty told me 2 years ago when a team member was killed on duty:  He said, 'Pat died by tragedy.  His spirit lives on.  Don't you let your spirit die by choice.  No sense compounding the tragedy.'

And so I started paddling.  Which way?  Didn't matter.  There is no ocean so large that land cannot be found.

The moral:
First is to nurture your spirit.  Your spirit is your light in dark times.  Your spirit is what the universe sees and feels.
Second is to move on.  It need not be hasty.  It need not be determined.  It just needs to be in motion.  Every paddle you can make is one less you will have to make.

Be well.  Be strong.  Know that you are loved.

[Ferret]

You remain in my thoughts and prayers Lady Glorianna.
Ferret

[Lady_Glorianna]

Thanks for your support guys. After talking to the lawyer tomorrow I should be in a better place and I'm hoping that the injection will either work or set the need to speed up the process so that surgery occurs ASAP and I am not tied up for another year. I was at work yesterday, today and will be there tomorrow. For now, taking things one day at a time is what I can do. Previous to this last episode I had worked every day I was supposed to in the last two weeks for the time I was supposed to...

[Rani Zemirah]

Lady G, I'm sending you many healing prayers and warm and loving thoughts, as well as wishes for speedy resolution to your medical questions, procedures and problems.

One day at a time is the best any of us can hope to achieve, so you're ahead of the game already! I have faith in you...

[Lady_Glorianna]

Yeah, I have to admit I feel a bit better. I had to pay the lawyer for it but he is know going to draft and send letters to the creditors telling them to cease and desist coming after me or at least stop the harrasing phone calls!

[BLAKDUKE]

Lady Glorianna:

You need to report that creditor to his/her supervisor.  That is the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard of.  That basically says that if you collected more in insurance than you owed in debt....   you are supposed to give the rest back???   They are putting a dollar value on a human life and that is just not acceptable.   You cannot equate one with the other.  Turn that person in.   Some credit reps  belong in the same Titanic life boat as the 50 lawyers.   Talk about Crass.    I only met you and Ron twice but believe me when I say I miss him also and looked forward to the times when we would have met up again at another faire.

God Bless
The Blakduke

[Lady_Glorianna]

Blakduke, thanks for the sentiments. The creditor called me yesterday again at 815 in the morning so she caught me a bit off guard and we had s hort exchange where she ended up hanging up on me. I'm hoping that she sends me a bill but if she calls again, I will just ask for her supervisor and get the info I need so that they can be dealt with by my lawyer.

On the personal front, I had my back shots yesterday though that hasn't gone very well. I have been in pain since yesterday afternoon, finally fell asleep exhausted at 5 this morning, so I missed work today. Hopefully this will be back to "normal" by tomorrow.

[lordwriothsley]

Blakduke, thanks for the sentiments. The creditor called me yesterday again at 815 in the morning so she caught me a bit off guard and we had s hort exchange where she ended up hanging up on me. I'm hoping that she sends me a bill but if she calls again, I will just ask for her supervisor and get the info I need so that they can be dealt with by my lawyer.

On the personal front, I had my back shots yesterday though that hasn't gone very well. I have been in pain since yesterday afternoon, finally fell asleep exhausted at 5 this morning, so I missed work today. Hopefully this will be back to "normal" by tomorrow.

I will be praying that all the pain in your back will be gone by tomorrow so you can have a peaceful and pain free day Lady Gloriana.

[Lady_Glorianna]

Well, I missed work on Wed-Thurs. Luckily I did not have to work today. Pain has gone down some but I am wreck emotionally today.

[Ferret]

Lady Glorianna
You are still in my thoughts and prayers. I hope it helps.
Ferret