heartbroken

[Lady Amy of York]

Keeping you in  my thoughts  and  prayers  hon !

[Lady_Glorianna]

I seem to be stuck. I miss him sooo much I guess the back issues, the whole tax mess, workmans comp not paying me since Nov., some of my family member insensitivity, some underlying pressure at work and this big hole left by Ron are getting to me. I have support group tonight so we shall see. Unfortunately it meets at the hospice which in talking with my counselor made me realize it is another "stressor". There are only three more meetings counting tonight so I told her I would finish it out. She is going to try and see if there are other groups meeting closer to me so that then I can go someplace else. It is just so hard when someone so extraordinary, half of you, arguably the better half goes away.

[lordwriothsley]

Lady G you always have been and always will be in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless you lass!

[Lady_Glorianna]

Though I had to stay home today because os the pain, I am proud of myself. I used the sewing machine last night to repair my 12 yr 2mo old winter coat. I remembered almost everything Ron told me (four days before going into hospice facility he taught me how to operate the sewing machine)and I DID IT!!...and I love sweet tart jelly beans. I may become addicted to them

[lordwriothsley]

Hey there's nothing wrong with becoming addicted to sweet tart jelly beans. There are one of my favorites as well.   

[Lady_Glorianna]

Well, last night I fell down the last three of four step of my stairs. I'm at work today but hurting. I hurt mostly my left arm and left ankle. I tell ya and the hits just keep on comin'....

[lordwriothsley]

I'm so sorry to hear that Lady Gloriana. I hope those bumps and bruises heal soon.

[Lady_Glorianna]

Well yesterday was hard because I had to finally tap into his life insurance which I had been avoiding because it made it more real. Yes I should be grateful I have the means but that does not make it easier. I cried for an hour yesterday morning and still do when I think about it.

For tonight I've decided to go to the privateer feast where I will see some friends from MDRF which I have not seen either since before he passed or his memorial service. I know it will take everything that I have to go through this but I also know that I have to do it. Dam it I miss him soo much and I hate that I get to do this without him here

[Lady_Glorianna]

I did it. I went to the benefit. They where all very sensitive and supportive, singing Ron's praises and even raising a few toasts to him. It was good that I went, I felt like I had to and though It was good Iand when I brokedown openly crying quite a few people were very supportive, I ended up crying on the drive all the way home. I hated that I got to go there without him. He may have been in spirit but I wanted him physically there. I get it was a don't get it moment when i was about to leave still with some tears in my eyes when I was asked the reason from my tears. I said I lost my husband and someone said well but the question is do you want to find him. Before I could say anything my friends said in her case is absolutely yes. I said I wish I could.

It was an hour drive home and the crying compounded with the weather turning once again cold I think has caused my back to act up. I could not go to work today. Nerve study is set for next Monday so we shall see.

[Lady Marielle of Andorra]

Hope all goes well, Lady Glorianna. I'm praying for you all the way from Arizona, and I hope you can find physical relief soon, as well as inner peace and healing. You're in my thoughts.

[lordwriothsley]

I will be praying that your upcoming Nerve study goes well and that they can find what is causing you all this pain in your back Lady G.

You are still as always in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless you.

[Charity Morgan]

Ah My Dear...
as we share this boat, doesn't it feel good to at least know someone is out there truly knowing just how you feel?  I am approaching one month without the love of my life beside me and this is hell.  As I read through your posts though darlin'...be thankful.  In my case...the ex-wife borrowed so much against the life insurance that it canceled without his knowing, then illness made it impossible to get reissued...so she got the money, I got the debt...but I also got the love and incredible memories.  I also haven't worked much lately...well...since August when I had heart surgery...I just had my second catherization, stress is not so good for me!  OR what about this one...the mortgage, cell phone, internet and most everything else is in his name...nobody even wants to talk to me to make any changes... but they want paid (I can't even cancel his cell phone!!)  now...here is the grande finale kick in the weed puller of all...you ready?  Social Security length of marriage rule is 9 months, we were legally married for 7 months although living together for 3 years while we waited for that nice ex-wife I told you about to get the last nickel. Yes, I definitely know how you're feelin'.  But we will BOTH make it through this, and we will be fine.  Be strong and keep him close in your heart.

[Lady_Glorianna]

Hell is pretty good description. Regrding the financial I am thankful. It just sucks that the reason to be thankful is that he is gone. I would trade all for him. I don't know what the laws are in PA but you might want to consider hiring an estate lawyer. I hope to make it or be able to handle whatever is thrown at ma for as long as I am here however long that is. A good friend said that we are being forced to live a life that we did not want. I think that is also an accurate description. He will always be with me as I am sure that yours will be with you until we get to be reunited.

[Charity Morgan]

Yes, yes...life goes on, doesn't it?!  Thanks for your email...last night I ventured out to our "winter renstock" party and it was very very difficult.  It was the one month mark and whoa those feelings and emotions are fresh.  But I got to see hundreds of loving supportive friends, fellow cast and vendors as well as playtrons.  I did not plan to go because it was so soon, but less than 2 weeks ago a family of dear friends lost everything in a terrible fire, so I decided to donate one of my husbands swords to the cause of raising some funds for our friends (oh, BTW you see these folks all rallied around for me when I had a fire in 2006)  so this gathering became an incredible tribute to my husband who was greatly admired and we helped our friends out too.  I was so nervous that I was visibly shaking before I got there, but my best friend went with me (she was on court with my husband) and everybody cried together and laughed together...and somehow I came away feeling a bit better.  I think it will make opening day much easier for me, having seen so many of them. I know they are missing him too, so we will always remember this man.
Kharla Garner Romito
Charity Morgan
Khroney MeadOWtea

[Lady_Glorianna]

study is done, wont get to discuss reasults w/doctor till wed, had to take pain killer so I'm a bit drowsy so more later...