What Shall We Do With the Grumpy Pirate?

[Rani Zemirah]

My daughter has been sung to sleep with, among others, the original version of Jimmy Buffet's A Pirate Looks at Forty since the day she was born... complete with references to living with women, running grass, being drunk for two weeks and pi$$ing away money...

She also knows these alternative words to "Drunken Sailor", and knows the details of what they refer to...

What do you do with a drunken sailor
Put 'im in charge of an Exxon tanker
Drink up boys, we'll make the water
Oily in the morning!!!

[Captain Jack Wolfe]

This is PC gone too far, once again.  For all my years of researching pirates and piracy, it has yet to turn me into a drunken sot or a violent criminal.  I only play one at faire. 

It boils down to this: protect a person from everything, and they will be prepared for NOTHING.

[RumbaRue]

Here is an original song by Steve Palacious written when Disneyland changed the Pirates ride with the men chasing the women, to vice-versa. Written back in the mid 1990's when Michael Eisner was still in charge.


Yo ho yo ho a pathetic pirate's life are we
We can't chase the women
We're after the food
Drink up me hearties yo ho
We can't be fierce an now we're just rude!
Yo ho yo ho a pathetic pirate's life are we!

Yo ho yo ho a pathetic pirate's life for we
We're allowed only tea
Can't get the good rum
Yo ho yo ho a pathetic pirate's life for we
Shake our fists when we're angry
But can't use a gun
Yo ho yo ho a pathetic pirate's life for we.

Yo ho yo ho a pathetic pirate's life for we
Can't shoot a Spaniard,
Or grab at a wench
Yo ho yo ho a pathetic pirate's life for we
The men stay alive
The girls keep their clothes
Yo ho yo ho a pathetic pirate's life for we.

Yo ho yo ho a pathetic pirate's life for we
A sorry tale
You'll have to agree
Yo ho yo ho a pathetic pirate's life for we
Mr Eisner wants money
So we go P.C.!!
Yo ho yo ho a pathetic pirate's life for we.

[Captain Kilian]

The sad fact is that pirates are just the new big commercialized thing, and as such, nothing is sacred in pursuit of that $$$. Not to say a song, which has been re-invented hundreds of times by the very folks that used it, is scared, but i think its less about being PC and more about tossing more crap at kids as a marketing ploy to get the parents to buy more useless shiner bock.

And of course, you can't offend the parents by first being not PC in the manner in which you do this. I mean look here, we have a children's show with "Captain feather sword" - you you freaking kidding me? Feather sword...wtf kinda pirate it that?

Its not about education, its about ratings, money, and that's it. It not even the romanticized version of pirates, living 'wild and free' on the high seas, its just a dumb icon now.