Idiot Sightings

[Lady Neysa]

I've occasionally answered the door that way too...only I use a sword. 

Where do you guys live where you have to answer the door with guns and swords? I could say in Colorado it all depends on what neighborhood and city you live in. And I will say the mojority of places you do not have to answer a door like that even in Denver or Colorado Springs

I may live outside Houston, kinda in the country, but i had some illegal obama supporter try to kick my door in when i wasn't there.  Lucky he stopped when he did for there was a 160lbs Great Dane and a 90lbs Rott on the other side.  I watched another guy, a door to door "salesman" try to open my neighbor's door and then try the same thing at my house, while his buddy started to push my motorcycle away.  I "convinced'' him not too... well, myself and a lock & loaded AK-47.  All i could say, as they ran down the driveway, was "Merry Christmas, Mother F#@%ers!"... they found all my Xmas lights the hard way.

I'm former Spec Forces and I've always lived a touch on the paranoid side... i have a Katana next to my bed, a .45 in the nightstand a 12 gauge inside the bedroom door and other "toys" scattered around the house.

That..was...AWESOME!!  More than once my husband has wished we lived in Texas!

As far as answering the door...I'm lucky that there is a window right next to the front door, so all I have to do is look out to see who's there.  If I don't know them, IF I feel like it, I'll crack the window open slightly to see what they want, then if I don't want to bother with them I can just say "go away" and close the window.

I wish things where I live were still the way they were when we were kids.  You could leave your house and car unlocked...really..nothing ever happened here in our quiet little rural community.  Now that it's not quite so rural anymore,  things are completely different. Just a few months ago somebody stole our riding mower out of our backyard late at night, while we were still up.  Luckily we got it back,  but it's just a sign of the times.  There has been a rash of armed home invasions around our county this summer as well.  Sigh.... 

As far as the idiot sightings are concerned...well the guy that stole our lawn mower quickly discovered there was no key, plus the battery was dead anyway.  So, he pushed this heavy mower through thick grass and rough ground, out to the road and pushed it up the road over half a mile, in POURING RAIN no less.  A good samaritan saw him and figured he was up to no good and called the police.  The state trooper then found him and a girlfriend trying to jump start the mower-"honestly officer, we were just trying to help this person start their mower, but they had to walk back to their house for minute"  -( at 10:00 at night in the rain).  The officer impounded the mower, which we got back after calling the barracks to report the mower stolen.  We had a good chuckle with the arresting officer over it, and we are awaiting  to hear about a court date.  The officer was quite pleased that we came forward, because they've had many run ins with this guy before, but were never able to nail him with anything big, just petty stuff.  This time the theft is a felony, 'cause the value of the mower is $1800.  The guy'll still probably get a slap on the wrist, but we still intend to prosecute as far as we can.  Give this little 19/20 year old punk a message...I'm just glad in a way that my husband didn't catch him in the act, or HE would be the one on trial for beating the snot out of him, or worse if he'd been able to get to his gun on time.

[Muffin]

The very first gift Bacardi ever gave me was a bat.. I lived alone in a not so fabulous neighborhood at the time.. (that gift bought him an "in" with my Dad!)

After he moved in with me in the not so fabulous neighborhood he brought his TX arsenal with him.. Not sure what it all is, but I do know it includes a couple of .45's... They are not loaded (by my request.. I have had a loaded gun pointed at my head by a rotten bastage of a ex boyfriend.. but that's a story for another time) the clip? is right by the gun for quick loading..

Now that we do not live in the not so fabulous neighborhood, but a proper suburban one we still have the guns, the bat is under the bed on my side and he has the giant beast of a flashlight on his side..

Funny enough I didn't even think to grab any of the above just the other night, and I probably should have..

I was sitting on our back patio when I heard the doorbell, I was on the phone with my Mom at the time, so I went into the house to see who it was.. when I came to the door, I left the screen door shut, it was a salesperson from a steak company (I won't say which one).. At first I thought this kid was drunk, because he did a little dance and spun around, asked me if I was Queen of the castle, and was just acting kind of odd.... He kept wanting to shake my hand and would reach up to the screen, I was in no way going to open the door!! (Bacardi was at work and it was close to dark: 8:30 pm or so) I informed him that I was on the phone and pointed to my bluetooth.. he kept his sales pitch going until I had said NO THANK YOU!!! and shut the door and bolted it...

I told Mom I was certainly glad I was on the phone with her.. His behaviour gave me the creeps...

You can't really be safe anywhere.. Even if you have weapons.. They can always be taken from you and used against you...

The only thing we can all do is be smart...



To the original topic.... I work with Lawyers Claims.. The adjusters are all attorneys and brilliant people.. on paper.......... They are possibly some of the dumbest people I have ever come across when it comes to common sense.. and a few of them are technology/computer challenged!!! Drives me up the WALL!!!  Really you went to law school but loading paper into a copier is beyond your expertise?!!

[bellevivre]

it seems the higher up in office hierarchy people become, the more inept at the functions of the office they become!

[Anna Iram]

I get a charge from police reports: 

[DonaCatalina]

Gotta love police reports
SANTA BARBARA, California - A career criminal was sentenced to 25 years to life in prison under California's three-strikes law for stealing $11 worth of wine, lip balm and breath freshener.Superior Court Judge Frank Ochoa called Ronald Herrera, 57, one of the worst criminals to pass through his courtroom, and prosecutor Darryl Perlin said: "He's what the three-strikes law is all about." Herrera's record lists 17 serious felonies, including a 1971 home-invasion robbery and rape of a woman and her 15-year-old daughter, the shooting of a police dispatcher, and six armed robberies in Virginia.He was sentenced Thursday for burglary and petty theft at a supermarket. At trial, his lawyer said Herrera has a brain injury that made him forget to pay for the items.

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[Lord Finger]

I don't remember how I found this site, but it always makes me feel better about my job:

http://notalwaysright.com/

[bellevivre]

That site is my 4pm go-to. Overheardintheoffice.com is good too 

[RSLeask]

hahahaha!  Nominee for the ADC Awards much?!  XD

Reminds me of the two guys that were lifting air bags out of the cars at the local dealership back home.  They had busted into about 50 cars by the time a patrol car showed up... except they hadn't put a single one in their own car, just had them lined up right behind each and every car for easy tagging, and even left a bonus of complete sets of fingerprints on each and every one!

[BubbleWright]

I started making bubble machines back in 1983 to use as wind indicators while flying kites. Since then I have used bubble machines just for fun as well as on the kite field. Over the years I have had quite a few people ask me to turn the bubble machines around because the bubbles were blowing the wrong way! 

[maelstrom0370]

Ok, ok....I gotta add a few.

As some of you may or may not know, I used to work on an Island with ferry boats shuttling tourists to and from the mainland.  Without fail, every stinkin' season, one or all of the below listed questions would get asked:

1.  What time does the 7 o'clock (or any o'clock) boat leave?
2.  Does the water go all the way around the island?

And to understand the last one, you have to know that The Mackinac Bridge connects the Upper and Lower penninsulas of Michigan and it's a BIG HONKIN' suspension bridge.  This little factoid leads us to our last "Commonly Asked Questions of Mackinac Island".

3.  What time does that bridge swing over to the island?  (and yes, this one got asked at least once a year)

[mehan]

Oh - yes, I hear you on that one.  It reminded me of my favorite tourist question of all time.  I too lived on a long thin island. There were two roads, one along the sound side and one along the ocean side.  A customer sitting at an ocean side table asked where the fishing pier was (visible to him sitting at that table).  Thinking he meant how much further up the road, I answered "its about a quarter of a mile, Avalon is the name, and it costs $2".   No, he replied, what side of the road?

My second favorite "you live here all year round?  What do you do in the winter?"   We hibernate... "Wow, really?"

[Breandan]

I grew up in Sitka and Juneau, used to get that from the tourists all the time 

[maelstrom0370]

Oh - yes, I hear you on that one.  It reminded me of my favorite tourist question of all time.  I too lived on a long thin island. There were two roads, one along the sound side and one along the ocean side.  A customer sitting at an ocean side table asked where the fishing pier was (visible to him sitting at that table).  Thinking he meant how much further up the road, I answered "its about a quarter of a mile, Avalon is the name, and it costs $2".   No, he replied, what side of the road?

My second favorite "you live here all year round?  What do you do in the winter?"   We hibernate... "Wow, really?"

.

I hear ya! People were always shocked to find out we actually lived up there during the winter. I think most people assume the whole place shuts down and there's just some sort of Jack Torrence-esque caretaker.

[Zaubon]

Oh - yes, I hear you on that one.  It reminded me of my favorite tourist question of all time.  I too lived on a long thin island. There were two roads, one along the sound side and one along the ocean side.  A customer sitting at an ocean side table asked where the fishing pier was (visible to him sitting at that table).  Thinking he meant how much further up the road, I answered "its about a quarter of a mile, Avalon is the name, and it costs $2".   No, he replied, what side of the road?

My second favorite "you live here all year round?  What do you do in the winter?"   We hibernate... "Wow, really?"

.

I hear ya! People were always shocked to find out we actually lived up there during the winter. I think most people assume the whole place shuts down and there's just some sort of Jack Torrence-esque caretaker.

They really wouldn't believe my cousin that moves from Harrison up to Lac La Belle every November and comes back down in April.   Even we think she's nuts!   

[Bugsy]

The following film has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit this screen

"How do they know how big my TV is??!!"


lady pegos told me about that one, i don't know who said it though.