Ren Fest and Body Image

[Charlotte Rowan]

Okay, so there's something that's been on my mind recently, and I'd like to hear the thoughts of the community on it. This is really the ONE thing that irks me about Ren Fest - everything else I love.

So here's my gripe: In "regular" society, the ideal attractive woman is thin and has big breasts, and these ideals are rigorously instilled into girls at an early age. We all know this is unhealthy and results in a lot of body issues, anorexia, low self esteem, etc.

One thing that's great about the Fest culture is that at Fest, women are NOT made to feel like they need to be stick thin to be beautiful - in fact, curviness is praised perhaps even more than thinness. This is fine and great. But if curviness is praised more than thinness, the big-breast requirement, in my mind, is even more staunchly enforced at Fest than it is in the real world. I'm not saying I have a problem with woman showing cleavage or embracing their sexuality. But there is so much emphasis placed on cleavage and being large-chested that, as a person who is somewhat sparsely endowed in that area, it gets somewhat annoying. And although I mainly came to terms with my body years ago, I can't help feeling a little put down sometimes. But my personal feelings really aren't the issue.

What this makes me think is that as a community, we are not as accepting as we claim to be. I am completely happy that curvier women who are (quite wrongly) made to feel unattractive in "regular" society are made to feel beautiful at Fest. I agree that they are beautiful! This is a message we should be sending to our daughters. But if (hopefully, when) I have a daughter, chances are she, like me, will not big-breasted. I love Fest, but I don't want my daughter in a place where she feels any less beautiful than the DDs that are so highly praised on the festival grounds.

I realize this may offend some people. That's not my intention. It's just been on my mind, and I'm wondering if others feel the same way, and what other thoughts the community may have.

[LadyElizabeth]

You know, I'd never thought of that aspect.  I have a large chest and so it's just not occurred to me.  Though honestly corsets tied tight enough can make even the small chesterd look more endowed!  My mom is very happy about that being of the smaller size herself.

I have nothing constructive to say here, not being a man.  I don't even know why chests are so exciting to begin with?  THey aren't useful really like well endowed men r...  I'm sorry that you feel more put upon even here, where so many find acceptance!  I love all shapes and sizes and think acceptance of all is important indeed!!

[renren]

Nope, not offended here!
I, too, don't fall into the "well endowed" category, and I want my kids (and myself) to be able to be happy with who they are, not how skinny/fat/boob size...ect.!
I think it's an ongoing struggle for most people,male or female, but women are judged more harshly.
I can just hope I can do my best to be healthy (an ongoing struggle, too) and happy!

[Bugsy]

Your future daughters won't "feel any less beautiful" unless they are taught that big boobs make you beautiful.

We all have something that might make us feel less attractive.  I see a lot of garb at faire that I would LOVE to make and wear, but there's no way I could.  After having 2 kids and having a belly that looked like I was carrying triplets, I'm left with a belly I want NO one to see.  I don't let it get me down, I still have a blast!

[Butch]

All women are beautiful.  I do not think anyone should hold themselves up to the social mirror, and try to emulate the "model" image.  It is not healthy to starve yourself into thinness (for the mundane world) or gorge yourself into plumpness (for the ren world).

Just be you!  Your personality will bolster your beauty, and subdue your self-proclaimed shortcomings.

Yes, we men like to see clevage blossoming from the womens' Elizabethan gowns!  HubbaHubba!  But we men also like to see women (just women)!  HubbaHubba!

I'm certain your daughter will be beautiful, no matter what her body type; just as I'm certain her mother is beautiful with her body type.

Now, no more thoughts of this!  Women are beautiful. Thank God for women!

[temper]

Although I feel there is more body acceptance at the faires, I unfortunately feel sort of the flip side of that.   I love the open sensuality of faires and the bawdy nature.  The sad part is that, like any specialty group, you will attract the fringe element. /disclaimer

If anything I dress in a *less feminine* nature at faires because honestly, it ticks me off  to be called
"Hey Wench" (dear wenches guild members, I am referring to how a patron might misconstrue this term)
And often men (and some women) will say things to me that are NOT flirty, funny, naughty or bawdy but just crass. "cause that's the way they were"

Back to the positive aspects-actress Camryn Manheim admits she got her start at renfaires and has a special part in her autobiography dedicated to a "juggler with talented hands" who made her feel beautiful.

[Muffin]

Being one of the more well endowed girls I can say that fest is probably the only place I am comfortable showing them off (so to speak) in my normal life I do anything and everything I can to hide, smash down, minimize, etc.. I agonize over how clothes look and if there is too much boob showing (safety pins are my friend).. I have been brought to tears on numerous occasions over this..

In the same breath I have seen women at faire who take this to an extreme and have a little too much spillage.. This just appears unattractive in my opinion, one deep breath would be all it would take to bring the show from PG-13 to R.. 

Being a beer wench at MNRF is loads of fun, and mostly the patrons enjoy the "wenchiness" there are always those random few (read: drunk college guys) who think just because you are dressed this way it's okay for them to reach out and touch someone... I swear if it happens again this year.. Someones losing a finger... 

So in the end, I think fest is somewhere that women of all shapes and sizes can come, dress as they like and not be judged on "size". I hope it always remains that way..

I would imagine if I have a daughter someday she will probably be like me and be blessed up top, I hope not to instill my insecurities into her, but have her embrace her own beauty in a way I never will..

[Anna Iram]

Keep in mind also that fashion dictates where the eye will go. Most everything else is covered in some way. Breasts are bound to be the focal point, (hahaha...literally!) and as Butch said, men are happy to let us know our efforts are appreciated. Okay...he said Hubba hubba...but it's the same thing.

Personally, I'd much rather have a comment upon my eyes or my smile, or a general hubba hubba, rather than any direct attention upon my cleavage. I think the ren world does sometimes miss what is truely lovely about the ladies. The inside of a wrist peeking from a ruffled cuff or the bare nape of the neck from uplifted hair. So many subtleties are missed in the glaring neon of boobage! 

[Blushing]

Not offended.  You make good sense!

Your future daughters won't "feel any less beautiful" unless they are taught that big boobs make you beautiful.

Very good thought!


There is that divide, but I've never thought that big curves were more desirable at faire - only that they tend to attract more attention - and sometimes trouble.  And garb is key to that.

I've always found it rather disheartening that I get mostly positive attention at faire ... and the extreme opposite in the real world.  I've had more than on fellow told me that I'd be more dateable if I weighed less.  Faire only lasts the weekends in a set period of time, after all.

Muffin ... you could turn that losing-a-finger thought into a bit.  Maybe make a pin, "Tips accepted, touches not" ...

[Muffin]

I do have a pin that reads what color are my eyes? LOL! On more than one occassion I will have someone who was eyeing me up look at me and say "uh... blue"..  

[squiregaby]

I feel the same way sometimes.  In the "real" world I'm invisible and at Faire I'm beautiful both in body and in personality because at Faire I can let my true bubbly personality shine.

and on the matter of the touching....my phrase is "You may look but not touch. Touch and you'll pull back a bloody stump"

[Lady Christina de Pond]

my best friend struggles with this issue as well she's struggled with her body image for years she was wearing a size 22  when we met and even at that size i thought she was beautiful but she didn't think she was i watched her exercise her butt off litterly and practically starve herself to get down to a size six i also threatened to kick her tail end if she lost anymore weight. now that she isn't starving herself she is up to a healthy body weight and looks much healthier. yet she still doesn't see how beautiful she is because she has small breast.
i think as long as you teach them it's ok to be who you are they will be ok.
me i was just too stuborn to care what they thought of me i'm gonna be me no matter what

[Amyj]

You know....the french always said that more than could fit in a champagne glass was too much....

(on a side note, they don't mean champagne FLUTE like I thought/imagined the first time I heard that saying...     )

[DonaCatalina]

You know....the french always said that more than could fit in a champagne glass was too much....

(on a side note, they don't mean champagne FLUTE like I thought/imagined the first time I heard that saying...     )

[DonaCatalina]

Of course I have to voice my thoughts.
Faire is only as bawdy as you make it.
I am well endowed but my noble garb doesn't have cleavage out to THERE.
The 'ideal' body type for women has changed many times since anyone first took notice.
In the 1920's, stick thin and flat chested was the fashionable ideal.
Women come in all shapes and sizes regardless of what is currently fashionable but I know how hard it is to deal with others' expectations. Hardly anyone is accepting as they claim to be. But in this social subset we tend to have different, and perhaps a smaller number of prejudices.
As for your daughters, you can try to teach them that it is the one 'out of the ordinary' who attracts the most attention, both good and bad. The fabulously beautiful women will attract many admirers and likely as many stalkers. But the existence of those women doesn't mean that other women are not attractive in their own way. Sometimes its a matter of looking beyond the ten people closest to you and looking at the overall picture to see where you can find a comfortable place.