Ren Fest and Body Image

[Auryn]

I wonder ... (bare with me as this thought just popped into my head while I am trying to get a crazy list of things done at work)

I've been following the thread and it seems from what I am picking up that the reason a lot of people feel more comfortable at faire is because they get to wear exactly the things that make them feel comfortable and make them feel their best.
Me personally, I would love to be able to wear more faire/garb type clothing on an every day basis but I don't because I know customers would look at me like I have three heads and wouldn't take me seriously.
Do you think more of us would feel more comfortable and love our bodies more on a daily basis if we weren't so restricted in the social norm of what is acceptable to wear?? I'm not talking about wearing PJs to the office.
But say for example if you work in the corporate world, to be able to wear (albeit clean and not raggedy) bracers, or a corset or something a little more creative??

I mean really there is only so much you can do with mundane clothing and you still end up looking like everyone else.

[bellevivre]

I know men who DO wear utilikilts every day!

[Muffin]

I know men who DO wear utilikilts every day!

Yes! I married one!! 

Okay he doesn't wear it to work, (well unless its just for a meeting, LOL!) but otherwise he is usually wearing his utilikilt any time we go out, etc..

*squeeeeeeeeeee* Kilts!! 

[Ambrosine]

I wish I could wear my corsets to work! but again I would have someone look at me like I was crazy. I work in the sales industry and my customers be them men I would have great commissions, be them women they may turn around and walk out! We just had our dress code at work changed at work because of us women exposing to much cleavage. What can I say, we live in FLORIDA and showing apartments to people in the hot sun all day is no fun! No one is allowed to see our valleys, if they can you actually are counseled. I feel bad for my more well endowed coworkers and most have completely had to buy new wardrobes to cover up. We also can not wear sleeveless shirts.

[Zardoz]

I wear kilts every day.   

Traditional though, no utillykilts..

[Anna Iram]

I have more thoughts...

Auryn, I agree about wearing clothes that make you feel beautiul! The thing is for me I feel just as beautiful when I'm wearing something "mundane" that fits as well and complements my body type as nicely. I think also, for me, it's that in our daily lives..well count how many times we all pass by a mirror, or some reflective surface. Every time you visit a restroom or walk by a storefront etc. I know I tend to be critical. I'm looking for a flaw...hair out of place etc. rather than giving myself a smile.   Now how many mirrors do we have at faire? Very few excepting the lads with complements and smiles and friends one meets in the lane. If only we gave ourselves as many a complement each time we spot ourselves in a mirror.

Crazy thought maybe, but consider it.

Hope this isn't going too far off topic. Just  gets me to thinkin'.

[Auryn]

Anna,
I totally agree with you on the mundane clothes.
I guess its just for me I don't get to wear clothes like that often. I work in the marine industry so its sneakers, shorts and a polo shirt day in and day out.
Faire is when I get to wear exactly what I want how I want and I don't get weird looks for it= its that whole acceptance of faire bit I guess.

Sorry if I strayed the topic away

[Charlotte Rowan]

Wow, so many interesting thoughts... where do I start?!

ArielCallista, I have exactly the same problem!! I don't have a lot of boob fat, but I do have some on my belly, and to have a bodice/corset that gives me any cleavage at all, it has to lace so tightly around my belly that I really can't breathe, and it pokes into me. Ouch. Having one that laced at the sides in addition to the front helps, but it still loosens up at the top. Alas...

Zardoz, I do agree about some people being TOO uninhibited... regardless of a person's size, there is a certain amount of clothing that when someone wears less than that, it becomes inapporpriate in public - even at faire. I don't see too many people crossing that line, and it tends to be patrons, not participants, but every now and then I get too much of an eyeful!

Blue, you are lovely, and I'm sure you look great in your belly dance garb. Plus, I bet your dancing rocks!!

Elennare, you make a good point as well. When I was younger, I was very skinny and got asked a few time if I was anorexic. Same thing - I tried to gain weight, but couldn't. Things have changed  a bit since I've gotten older, though. I still have pretty good metabolism, but I can't eat *whatever* I want now without gaining weight. I guess the bottom line is that we all have things we donb't like about our bodies. *shrug*

And Auryn - yeah, it woud totally rock to be able to wear garb in mundane life, at least now andd then!!

[Richard de Graeme]

rather than giving myself a smile.

Dear Anna,

We have not spoken in many Moons, but during that time I am sure you have brought many smiles to many faces.

All the Blessings to thee, thy kith and kin,

RdG

[Anna Iram]

Richard!  It is always good to see you about the place.  You certainly bring a smile to mine. 

[Capt Robertsgrave Thighbiter]

My girl is like 5'0",  and has a 44 H or HH bust. Its imposible for her NOT to show more clevage then most folks consider decent, even at faire. Go to our website and look in the Crew section at the bottom, you'll see what I mean.  Her most modest bodice still garners so many comments, it's a full time job defending her honor. If she wears one of the bodices I have had commisioned and custom made, well I don't have enough bullets for the flintlock to keep the hounds at bay. 

To top it off, she is very short waisted, so most bodices and corsets are way too long and dig into her ample hips.  No wonder she is not crazy about coming to faire. 

[Bonny Pearl]

This is an interesting thread...

First off, I'm a B cup and I'm petite.  So yes, I sometimes wish I had this or that ladies' larger chest, but I also sometimes wish I had her drop dead gorgeous hair or eyes or long legs.  I just want everyone to understand I don't have 'boob envy'... well at least not all the time lol.  I'm moody, what can I say...  

I have to say I'm not in agreement about the part where you stated that a big breasted requirement is more staunchly enforced at faire.  Why?  Because it is a choice made by the ladies to wear their garb how they see fit.  Even with bodices 'lifting the girls to new heights' there is always the option of bringing the chemise up just a tad if feeling more modest.  If they are feeling flirtatious that day then they don't have to wear their clothes in a modest fashion.

Same point with the chainmail.  I see women who wear chainmail with or without coverings or 'things protecting the wiggly parts'.  It's the choice of the lady.

I disagree on the part about emphasis being placed on cleavage and being large-chested in the faire circle as well.  I've never felt or been treated like less of a woman because the lady sitting next to me wears a larger bra size than I do.

The part about the faire community not being as accepting as we claim to be?  I have to disagree with that as well.  The faire community is based on similar interest, not on who has this or that.  Faire is one of the few places where we are free to express ourselves in some form or fashion and yes, feed our mild (or not so mild) case of narcissism with posing for pictures, etc.


Just my thoughts.  

[fortryllelsestudios]

THis is interesting to me, since in my faire experience I have gone from waifish thin to more than well endowed over the years.  I always envied the curves when I didnt have them and I dread them now that I do.  All I have right now is my cleavage, and while I dont go overboard, I do my best to make sure the girls look good.  I agree that some folks go a little far, I am certain that my son will always be a boob man because of his years of experience at the festival.  But I am at an age now where I am glad with what I got, and that it all works.  We spend too much time wishing our lives away.  There is beauty in every body type and being grateful to have a healthy body is the most important thing.  I have found that men, at least the good ones, love self confidence in a woman and will like who you are rather than what you got.  The other ones might hoot and holler at you, but they wont think about you again when their attention span is up...about 30 seconds or whenever the next set of gams walks by.  And who cares about them??

[Leyla]

And although I mainly came to terms with my body years ago, I can't help feeling a little put down sometimes.

I guess what I'd want to know is, what is it that makes you feel put down? Is it just the general emphasis on cleavage, or are there more personal slights?

Personally, I think sexy is far more about attitude than looks (though looks certainly don't hurt). And it's a matter of emphasizing one's own attributes.

I remember faire last year, there was a very beautiful, thin woman. I have no idea what her front side looked like, but she was wearing a backless outfit and had a gorgeous tattoo. Even without the tattoo, I think the whole backless thing is super sexy since it shows off so much skin not often seen. Plus, while even thin women struggle with a wee bit of belly, or think they need to be super toned in front, their backs are typically wonderful.

[Emerald Shaunassey]

Being one of those "overly blessed" women (and have been since age 9); I'd give my eye teeth to be much less blessed!  I envy my small chested sisters who don't have to worry about back pain and problems, chest muscle issues, or worry about spraining their rib cages from having large endowments. 

At faire I've portrayed every social class from Dutchess down to Pub Wench and Pirate.  Like Muffin, I own and blatantly display my "What Color Are My Eyes?" and "Yes, They Are Nice" pins (thank you KDopita Studios).  Displaying the "girls" a bit more prominently helped out greatly while working the pub.  But did I cross over into the "Heavage"?  No.  I find that as disgusting as the lasses who make goblets disappear between their boobs.  When I portrayed a Dutchess, I designed and built my bodice to have 25 pieces of steel boning in it to not only support the girls but to squish them down as much as possible so I didn't look like "boobzilla" about to explode.  Being a pirate has freed me from ALOT of issues - the men's shirts I wear hide alot of things ... to the point I was told by a male "You aren't really a woman, you don't have any boobs showing."  I did but, thanks to the design of my bodice, the lay of the shirt, and the angle of the bodice trim - I made myself look like I was at most a very full B cup!   I chose to take his potentially snide comment as a compliment!   

Having done some study on the "norms" of the era (curves meant you had money to buy and eat food and not starve, breasts were not viewed as items of sex adoration - merely a means to feed infants (thanks to the Puritans for making them sex objects), ankles were among the scintillating portions of a woman's anatomy) ... I now crack jokes about being a well fed, well educated, well groomed, and well endowed Rubenesque Woman Pirate ... who delights in wearing men's shirts, pants, boots, belts, and hat! 

Have I seen a difference in treatment between thin and curvy women at faire?  Actually, yes.  Back in my single Rennie days, I was always passed over for the skinny min's baring skin in a Victorian corset.  And sadly, there was a time when only skinny girls with "small yet perky" boobs were chosen for roles I'd love to have portrayed.  Blessedly attitudes and times have changed - most of the festivals I now frequently perform at seem to have an open acceptance policy/outlook/attitude when it comes to women of all sizes.  Sadly, the mundane world still hasn't caught on/caught up with the rennie world.  Mundanely, I'm still looked askance at for being <gasp, horror> ... FAT! and for having ... BIG BOOBS! (Oh Mah Gawd, Ethel!  Did you see the size of her boobs???  And she's a NURSE for heaven's sake!!  What is she thinking?  What kind of an example is she??) )

Like my fellow "Chesties" I too dress to downplay the girls as much as possible in my mundane life, which is hard to do in most professional dress.  However so much of my wardrobe is now chosen for comfortable, chic, figure flattering bagginess rather than "hipness" and "poshness" - if I don't like it - I'm NOT wearing it.  If I have to be poured into it, I'm not wearing it!  (I just wish I'd learned that lesson back in college when I was on the rodeo team and a wanna be Rodeo Queen!  LOL).  If I have to have safety pins to ensure my blouse doesn't gap, I'm NOT wearing it - I don't care if it is the latest style or not.

So while I'm sure there are snide remarks flowing back and forth (or even snide attitudes being thrown down); we are all human and flawed after all - remember, the ONLY person you have to please in this life is .... YOURSELF.  If you are comfortable with who you are and how you are living - then no one else has the right to make you regret it or feel "less" for your choices and happiness.  Those unhappy folks can only make you miserable or feel bad/odd/unwanted/unattractive/subhuman/etc .... if you LET them. 

Also, I'd suggest visiting and/or working other faires and festivals out of your area and see what a difference geography can make for you.  Each section of the country gives it's festivals a different flavor and "attitude." 

Most of all - teach your future daughters that it's okay to be thin, fat, big boobed, flat chested, tall, short, dark headed, light headed ... so long as they are healthy, happy, and content girls.  They will grow into strong, bright, well educated, and well rounded women.   


I hope this has helped you out in your internal thought processes.  Nothing stated here is intended as a slam/flame/trolling of any other person nor is anything said herein aimed at anyone individual or group of individuals.  If you feel you have been singled out ... darlin, you need therapy and should seek immediate professional assistance for your narcissistic inclinations ... the world does NOT revolve around you. 

It revolves around me ... so get over yourself  ;o) 

Fair Winds
Emerald