Having an off season/Losing the spark

[eloquentXI]

This is a discussion I had with a very dear friend/fairemily member last night on the phone.
But something I thought would be interesting to bring up in discussion to everyone.

As much as we all love faire, will spend thousands of dollars, will travel hundreds of miles, there are those times, when the spark just ebs. For the first time in my life, I've had to remind myself that when I get up in the morning and drag my carcass out to faire, I'm doing it to have fun. After missing Closing Weekend of Scarby due to financial reasons, I stopped and started to think about all the reasons why I wasn't heartbroken about not being there. Due to no one else but myself, I just didn't have fun this season. It was a chore to get up and go out to faire (Rendezvous did NOT count, btw. I had a blast!). Instead of being excited, I was too exhausted or too preoccupied by everything else, that when I got to faire, I couldn't let go or get into it.

Have you ever had those seasons?

[Rani Zemirah]

I totally understand what you're saying, Elo.  I think anything that becomes something you feel like you HAVE to do will quickly stop being something you WANT to do.  You push yourself pretty hard with your art, and every time I see you at Faire you're headed somewhere to shoot something, and don't have time to sit and chat, or take a leisurely stroll through the lanes with friends, or relax at all, I think!  Maybe you're starting to see it more as a job than a pleasure, and that can take the fun out of anything... 

I do recall seeing you laughing and having a great time during Musical Men, and you didn't have a camera in your hands!!!    I wonder if it could have anything to do with being able to actually participating, instead of standing aside to chronicle events. 

I know last year when we did the Gypsy camp I didn't enjoy my home Faire near as much when I'm just there to play, although I think it might have been a bit more fun if I'd had more help. I was pretty burnt by the end, though, and I didn't want to do it again this year.

[Ferret]

It can happen to everybody. You find a hobby or something that interests you. And you get involved.

Often adding to what first interested you, and doing more or even different things.

Pretty soon you are doing too much, and it isn't fun any more.

Then it's a good time to take a break. And remember what first interested you and what was fun for you.

Then try and do more of the stuff you enjoy, and eliminate what is spoiling it for you.
Ferret

[SirRichardBear]

Not with faire but I got burned out on Anime cons about 5 years ago.  Now days I put in my shift and leave instead of running around the con.  I've never been sure if I've changed or the cons have change or if its both.  Now I only go to see a few friends.

[DT_Masters]

>Ever had one of those seasons?

Not yet, I don't think, not at the level I am at now.......but it's possible it occurred when I was an outsider "time traveler", just there taking pictures, and not involved with anyone, either in the moment or after (sharing pictures). I think I started in '92 or so but for a few years in the 90's, I didn't go to TRF at all; I wasn't into it as much then and then the Pentax had broken down.

But now that I am more and more a part of it, it's a passion. But.....I've seen other things, with their complexity, with their cost drop in their frequency.

I put those occurances to, mostly, the "energy required for a launch". I have a lot of gear intensive activities......and I live in a medium sized apartment that is rather bursting from all the stuff of all my activities. To get out the door, to make the drive, either short or far away, will usually require several trips through an obstacle course through a small door. THANK GOD for a Subaru Forester! For it makes at least the final loading easier. (well, more than that of course, for my relationship with Uncia is special)

But loading all to take, finding all to take (because often it is running from one activity to another and things rarely get put away) can build up the entrophy effect and often, I'll just sleep in, if I can, for this or that. Lots of activity...........and massive down times.

I've missed the opening cannon a few times, deciding to sleep in a little, and not rush it. It hurts some, but it's not a compulsion and in any event, I remember the immortal words and example of    D'Hoffryn......................."Oh, well!"

Things are not the end of the world and if you need to take time for yourself to recharge, do so, either in the moment or after completing a commitment. The latter is often me, so beaten down in doing a task that I like, that I promise myself once it is done, I'll slow down for a while.

[Celtic_Fae]

I can identify with burnout. I'll definitely be cutting back on how many faires I got to and how many weekends of those faires I attend.

I immediately jumped into faire working for different booths/performers and have had a great run with them (and am still enjoying that aspect, for the most part). That's what is keeping me coming back as much as I am.

Unfortunately, I also have run into some people who have made faire a terribly uncomfortable place to be, both actually at the faire or even at faire-related events. I've had the bad luck to find several who play the role of confidant only to turn around and spread lies, twist the truth, and betray what you told them. They believe that they should always get their way; if you don't agree with everything they say and everything their friends say/do, you are an enemy and will be treated as such. I've been followed back to cast-only areas and threatened. Lately, I've found faire to be devolving into an adult high school: you have your cliques, you have your backstabbing, and you have those who don't care who they hurt as long as they can get "totally wasted DUDE!". They'll be nice to you to your face but just wait until you turn your back. When I've chosen not to take sides in the many issues to plague my faire region, to remain neutral, I've actually been told that either I "pick a side or we can't be friends anymore because I/we can't trust you".  

These reasons combine with the fact that I'm a full-time student with additional labs and practicums over and above my classes and any faire I got to is at least a 2 hour commute, and, yes, I've found the passion waning. 

[Tink]

Lately, I've found faire to be devolving into an adult high school: you have your cliques, you have your backstabbing, and you have those who don't care who they hurt as long as they can get "totally wasted DUDE!". They'll be nice to you to your face but just wait until you turn your back.

I've noticed this for some time as an outsider at different faires.  I've also noticed this in several places of employment.  It make me wonder, if this is true for all large group settings?

[DT_Masters]

Lately, I've found faire to be devolving into an adult high school: you have your cliques, you have your backstabbing, and you have those who don't care who they hurt as long as they can get "totally wasted DUDE!". They'll be nice to you to your face but just wait until you turn your back.

I've noticed this for some time as an outsider at different faires.  I've also noticed this in several places of employment.  It make me wonder, if this is true for all large group settings?

I haven't noticed such......but it may be because either I don't know what to notice since I don't think I saw that in HS 30 years ago or I'm once again in a similar isolation corner as I was when I was in HS. I am usually the stiff one at the party. Probably explains why I'm a photographer.

In either event, with my generalist extraordinaire life, I have many ways to face a situation. I may display an aspect or two of my play life at RF, but I don't display my work or whole life, although certainly things intertwine. Further, looking at it, that may be part of it that keeps the interest up.

In one viewpoint, I may have five different lives and while one is aware of another, they don't involve with each other much. So going off and doing one of them is a way to get away from it all.

[Merlin the Elder]

Elo, I can certainly understand where you're coming from. I've felt the same way at times about the band I play with. At times it's way more work than fun, and it shouldn't be that way. 

We too far away from a faire to get tired of it. This year has been exceptional in that we've made it down to Scarby for more than one faire weekend. Opening weekend, I had a lot of things running through my head that diminished my enjoyment a bit. These days, there seems to be an over abundance of things to worry about! Closing weekend, I think the intense heat took my mind off of everything else... I would imagine that once things ease up, finance-wise or whatever, that the spark will reignite your flame.

[Laird Fraser of Lovatt]

For me, the holidays are when i fall off my Fairemily's radar and recharge.  I had just spent the last 4-5 months prepping for TRF... garb, Loki brewing/tasting, going to gatherings to plan things out.  Even though there was a New Years Eve party with the whole gang, my brother & I spent an evening with a case of beer & a bottle of Scotch. (  You, Elo, were the only person to hear from us that night)  I ignored the forums... i ignored the phone calls and i ignored the emails.  A new faire opened (Sherwood) and i ignored it also because i had already commited to Scarby.  Now i feel recharged and am looking forward to TRF... going to try and make this year the best one yet.

You've been a busy person, Meg... school, work, family, planning RenDezvous... no wonder you are burned out. 

[DonaCatalina]

Not with faire but I got burned out on Anime cons about 5 years ago.  Now days I put in my shift and leave instead of running around the con.  I've never been sure if I've changed or the cons have change or if its both.  Now I only go to see a few friends.

Key word there- shift. After 16 years we burned out on the SCA because all our participation eventually came down to which shift we were working. Anytime a hobby becomes more work than fun, you are likely to burn out.
I understand entirely how you feel Elo. If Scarby was longer than it is; herding everyone in the morning, gathering up all the accesorries, filling the cooler, loading the car, last minute garb repairs, making sure we had gas and money and passes, would soon be more work than fun.

Fear not- this too shall pass

[Marietta Graziella]

Elo, you push yourself far too hard.  With everything you have had going on this season it seems perfectly reasonable to me that you would need some down time to recoup, recharge, and relax.  Give yourself permission to do that and you'll not only feel much better but also see things more clearly.  Then you can decide where and how much you want to jump back in.  YOU need to be your first priority.  NOT faire or even fairemily.  Both will be waiting when you get back.  Promise.   HUGS

[Laird Fraser of Lovatt]

Yeah!  What MG said!   

[Molden]

Hey Babes, I think anytime your into something passionately, there are those times when a break is in order. It can be for any of the myriad reasons listed before this (been there, done that, gotta t-shirt). Or it can be no more complicated than - you need a break and desire to focus on something else (or even yourself, which ain't bad...). Not a thing in the world wrong with that.

Not every "special" weekend (e.g. opening or closing, All Hallows, etc.) is necessarily a home run. And that's ok. It just provides contrast or comparison. And sometimes, not even going there for a time is enough to bring it back, often better, later. Good ol' absence makes the heart grow fonder an' all dat.

One of my Dad's favorite sayings is "this too shall pass..." comes to mind. I simply suggest that if it brings you joy, do that. If you feel resistance, and it does not bring you joy - don't do it. Just do what feels right and best for you Sugar.

[Celtic_Fae]

Or it can be no more complicated than - you need a break and desire to focus on something else (or even yourself, which ain't bad...). Not a thing in the world wrong with that.

Three cheers for this quote and the man behind it.