Lighting a candle for my Mom

[Lady Mikayla of Phoenicia]

Dearest Molden -

And now, I would like to make a toast. "To Molden's mother and to all of our parents - and their children! May we all appreciate what we have in each other."

HIP, HIP HUZZAH!!!  HIP, HIP, HUZZAH!!!  HIP, HIP, HUZZAH!!!

[Luciana]

Molden, I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept many hugs and my condolences. You and your family are in my thoughts.

[Rani Zemirah]

Molden, I am praying that during this first Holiday Season since your tragic loss, you and your family will be able to recall the Joy and Love your dear Mother brought into all of your lives, and that the memories will help to ease some of the pain of not having her there for a gathering that must still bear the stamp of her many years of sharing her giving nature and caring heart with those she surely still loves best of all. May you feel her presence in every tradition she helped to create, and know that she is with you all still, in every joy and triumph, sharing love with you and yours.

[lordwriothsley]

Molden my good man I just want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers on this your first holiday season without your mother around my friend.Even though she may not be you in person just know that she is with you in spirit and in heart.Take those memories of her that you hold close to your heart and treasure them forever and that right there my friend will be one of the greatest comforts in the world to you.Have a blessed and happy holiday season and may god bless you and your entire family as well.

[Fairyfly]

Molden darling, you are still in my thoughts, especially with it being the Holidays. Know your Mom is not far from you at this time! And all of your family of friends are here as well! *HUGS* May you have a peaceful Holiday my dear!

[Lady Mikayla of Phoenicia]

Hi Hun, I am SO looking forward to seeing you on Christmas Day!!!      

[Molden]

Wow...I kinda got caught nappin'!

Many, many heartfelt Thanks to All of you generous souls who are thinking of me and my family at this tyme.

I will be joining my half brother (Dale) and step-sister n' her husband (Carye & Kimes) tomorrow afternoon for a Christmas gathering at Dale's house. We'll dine, drink, and exchange gifts.

Sadly, my Step-Father (Wayne) will not be with us, as he has gone to Oklahoma. His sister, Loretta passed yesterday from a long fight with serious ailments and advanced years. We are at least comforted by the fact that he will be surrounded by his other brothers and sisters during this tyme. My prayers go out to him as he has had an extremely rough year in the regard of loss.

Mom was the one who made sure we had the best Christmases possible...from making sure the Christmas tree stayed up until I got home for leave in early January, after I had missed my 1st Christmas before going to Okinawa one year - to - exchanging gifts in her car with Dale and Carye, when she was going through a divorce from my previous step-dad, when I was overseas a few years later. No matter how rough times might have been - Christmas was the most joyous tyme she could muster - and that was always beyond what we expected.

She made sure us kids were the ones who decorated the tree each year and the whole house smelled wondermous as she baked pies, cookies, and cakes. And she cheerfully refereed the ensuing battles between us kids to see who got to lick the beaters and bowls. She also made sure that a year didn't go by with out us getting to see Santa Claus, so we could make our annual requests. She loved to pile us in the car (even as adults!) to go "light lookin' " - to see all the extravagant light displays - and then to go spin under the huge tree made of lights at Zilker Park.

I'm sure it will be a little "bumpy" and I am sure a tear or two will be shed as us kids remember Mom. But - I do have to say, I've done better with this than even I expected. I have felt her presence many times and remember her love of the season.

And, as Lady Mikayla has said - I'll be with her on Christmas Day - to share the day with Lady Dracolich, along with other dear friends of hers, who have been so sweet to me. Most of all - I am looking forward to (repeatedly) catching Lady Mikayla under the mistletoe  and sharing the day with one so dear. I think Mom would most heartily approve.

Thank You One and All my Dear Friends!

"...remember, no man is a failure who has friends."
       excert from "It's A Wonderful Life"

[Rani Zemirah]

I will send prayers of healing and sympathy to your step-father. May he be comforted doubly by the love he is surrounded with...

It sound as though you have already begun the journey into Happy Memory, Molden, and I'm so glad you will be able to share them all with loved ones this first year... Your mother would be proud and happy I think, though I never met either of you, to know how much love you have drawn into your life. Enjoy the Season, bitter-sweet though it be... enjoy your friends and family... and enjoy the mistletoe!!! (I won't even say enjoy Lady M, because I can see almost every day that you do, and I get the feeling that your mother would be pleased, indeed!)

Merry Christmas, Molden, to you and yours!!!

[MacLaren]

Molden,

I also lost my mother this year in February, and I know the pain of loss as you do. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. Try to keep remembering the good times, and let yourself go back to them in your first season without her. This is the season of birth, so let the memories of past be reborn!

All the best, my friend!

[Molden]

MacLaren - right back at ya Mate - you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this 1st Holiday season without your Mother. All my best to you as well.

And Rani - thank you ever so for your beyond kind words.

Lady Mikayla...I'll deal with you SOON my Pretty! 

[Rani Zemirah]

Enjoy your family day, and thanks for sharing so many poignant memories with us... and travel safe!

[Lady Mikayla of Phoenicia]

Bring it!!!   

[Amras Elfwine]

*Look to your heart, and the warmth you find is the fondness of rememberance*

Peace and a hug this holiday season to yuh and your family.

[lordwriothsley]

Molden please know that your step father and his family are in my thoughts and prayers during the loss of his sister.I am glad to hear that you will be spending the holidays with ones that you love as I am sure that that's what your mom would want for you.Merry Christmas to you lad and a Happy New Year to you as well.

[Molden]

*re-enters this space...surveys the room...reverently lights a candle...invokes the crytal singing bowl...tolling slowly, three tymes*

At 10:30 p.m. this nyght a most ignoble anniversary will come to pass - it markes one year since my Mother passed.

A few days back, I re-read this thread - from it's start through to the latest post. I am struck by several things. For one, the speed and surprise with which events came to pass - from the initial news of the disease and diagnosis through to the surprising end.
*sips his scotch in reflection*

In truth, it was sudden and swifter than any expected. However, much has come to light in this last year. In truth, Mom knew how dire the situation was - but embraced it with her usual optimistic gusto. But in doing so, we (family) have also come to understand how much she shielded us from the brutal truth. Her reasons were her own. I could endeavor to second guess what I "should have done" but in the end - I believe I treated the situation as she would have desired - with the hope and optimism she embraced throughout her life.

Another thing that came to my attention in my re-reading of this thread is - the outpouring of love, support, tender-heartedness, and sympathy of you - my Fairemily. To you, I again express my overwhelming gratitude and appreciation. There never will be enough words to fully express the gratitude I feel toward all of you.

And know - do not be concerned this day for me.

As with the 1st Mother's Day I experienced without Mom this year, I chose not to be sorrowful nor maudlin in my reflections. While I miss her dearly, I choose to be Grateful for having the opportunity to have her as my Mother.

She truly embraced the "Underdog" and did much to make many lives better. She believed in redemption. She believed that you looked for the Best in things and strived constantly in making the best of a bad situation. The stories are endless. She believed in seeking Happiness in it's truest form (I'm currently re-reading her copy of The Desiderata of Happiness). She believed in affirmations. And most of all, she believed in each of us being our Truest and Best Self we can be.

In digging through some old photos and writings she'd set aside - I came across a quote, by her, that sums up the last ideal best. It's from one of her desk memos - which oddly lends a kind of Power to this quote:

Make the most of yourself...for that is all there is to you.

You are always yourself, never someone else. You are always faced with yourself, there is no escape, no hiding, no evasion of that self that you will forever be with. You either put yourself all together and make the most of what you have, or slide along disregarding what you could have become.

I and I alone am responsible for what I am and what I shall do. I shall not blame you for my weaknesses or failures. The challenge to make my life a successful, meaningful experience is not yours, it is mine. That is the lifesaving attitude I must kindle right now!!!

As I write that, I swear I can hear her, and remember this message in one form or another, as she told us kids so many times in our upbringing. That thought is so quintessentially her.

So this day, I have been in celebration, rememberance and gratitude - as I believe she would truly have had it no other way. I have played golf, listened to music she loved (a lot of Simon & Garfunkel), listened to George Carlin (the cd A Place for My Stuff - in particular, his bit on Rice Krispies "Snap, Crackle, F- - - You!), and watched Star Wars (she GOT the mythological aspects of that trilogy). I've eaten some of her favorite foods (fried chicken, fried okra, pinto beans and corn bread). I've read some material she would appreciate and have reflected a good bit - happily so.

To steal from Abraham-Hicks, I would share from her - Life is Supposed to be FUN!

She would - and I do encourage all of us to go forth embracing what Life has to offer.  Look around and enjoy the beauty of sunrise and sunset. Encourage rather than chide. Build up instead of tear down.  Appreciate all you have with a sense of Deep Gratitude. CELEBRATE your successes - no matter how small they seem to be, and Learn from failures. Give yourself a break, don't be such a harsh judge. Laugh often. Hug someone you Love. Love Greatly. Be your Best Self - and then Share that Gift with others.

*Nods reflectively* Aye, 'bout sums it up. Thanks for having been here Mom.

I Love You.