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Author Topic: Getting my Wife to Love Faire  (Read 7685 times)

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Offline Don Giovanni de' Medici

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Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« on: August 27, 2012, 02:33:45 AM »
So this past year I finally got my wife to go with me to a small Renfaire. To be very honest it was so small and there really wasn't much to do. It got her to thinking, "this is what you love?" She was already not impressed by the entire concept of faire. To make matters worse, there really isn't a faire close by so a visit is an ordeal of packing up and going somewhere. I love to dress in garb and visit. I honestly love to be on cast when I am at faire since performing is what I do. The whole concept of her letting me make her a court gown and playing a character scares her though and she is just not honestly into it. Then again though, neither were any of us at first. Faire strikes a cord with you when you love it. Anyways, I was just wondering if anyone out there has gone through anything similar, what worked, what didn't, what was your compromise. I would really love to get out an do a faire again.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2012, 02:34:26 AM by Visconte Vincente »
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Offline LadyFae

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2012, 07:56:37 AM »
I feel your pain.  My husband "hates" Faire and I LOVE it!  I've come to the conclusion that if I can get him to support my love of Faire I'll never bother him to come with me.  He has his likes and I have mine, it'd be unbelievably awesome if we could go together in garb and have fun but it just isn't going to happen so I don't push it. 
As long as your wife supports you in your love of Faire, call it good.  As you said, it strikes a chord with you and you love it.  For others, they don't.
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Offline Dinobabe

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2012, 12:36:51 PM »
My husband was never (and still isn't) into faire.  The first time I took him he refused to wear garb.  But after walking around with me (in garb!) all day he started to feel awkward.  And not just because I was in garb.... so many OTHER people were in garb!  So the next day he borrowed some of grandpa's extra pieces and felt much better.  The next year he had his own kilt, shirt, shoes, doublet, hat,....  He has gone with me a few times but it is more of a once in a while thing for him.  But that's ok!  He supports me and encourages me.  He doesn't have to tag along and be unhappy if he doesn't want to.  Same thing goes for Civil War reenacting.  He'll come to a close event to support and take pics but never dresses for it.  People think we are weird that we have separate hobbies... go figure! ;D
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Offline Merlin the Elder

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2012, 05:07:03 PM »
We both love it, but know a lot of couples that are split on the concept. We're often surprised by the number of men whose wives are not into it. For some reason, we'd think it would go the other way.

Tiny faires CAN discourage, but don't have to by any stretch of the imagination. Size does not matter, if the quality is good.
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Offline Amyj

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2012, 05:23:24 PM »
LOL, my sweetie and I were introduced to and fell in love with faire at the same time (Grandma wasn't feeling well and sent us 45 min away to "some festival thing" at KCRF for the day).  The next year I decreed that we were going in garb...and proceded to do a bunch of research (looking at pictures online of other rennies) and make garb (first garb...shudder  ::) ).  Bob wore it only because he loves me (so he says that was the only reason that first time).  Now, he is as hardcore as I am about always being on the lookout for stuff that can be used, made, adapted into garb...or perusing the costume jewelry sections of stores for "Pirate Bling"!!!! :D

I think what really helps is he found a "character" that he liked and identified with (he's actually a privateer, complete with letter of marque).  Once your wife finds her niche, she'll be hooked!!!   Maybe have her try a few different "characters/garb styles" from nobility to fantasy....one is sure to ring the right bell!
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Offline BLAKDUKE

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2012, 05:35:32 PM »
That first faire is ALWAYS the most important as you NEVER get a second chance to make a good first impression.  I could never get my first wife to do anything that required spending money.  So since I enjoyed different activities and she did not, I did the only sensible thing available..... I got rid of her.   My second wife now of 27 WONDERFUL years loves faire.  I was antsy at first she had never been to one, plus we attended our first faire together on our honeymoon in garb.   Talk about sink or swim.   She loved it.  I choose well we went to Sterling in New York and have been doing faire ever since.  I think we have more funds tied up in garb that in mundane clothing.   Good luck in your pursuits and I hope it all works out for you.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2012, 05:40:14 PM by BLAKDUKE »
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Offline arbcoind

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2012, 08:52:17 AM »
I did the only sensible thing available..... I got rid of her.

Ha,ha,ha.  My long term BF doesn't care for faire.  He's been a few times and calls it "paying a cover charge to drink in the woods and look at bewbs".

So I go by myself.  I prefer it.  I can be a total wench and he doesn't have to look at it.

Gina
« Last Edit: August 28, 2012, 09:20:40 AM by arbcoind »

Offline insidiousraven

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #7 on: August 28, 2012, 09:11:18 AM »
Even if you get them to like faire, you might not like the same things.  My BF loves to go dressed up, but he hates sitting through shows and music, and just likes to shop.  I never get to see any shows if I go with him!

Offline Toua Taru

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #8 on: August 28, 2012, 04:48:58 PM »
My boyfriend was not impressed with the idea of going to fair with me. He thought it was stupid and it got me nervous that he would hate it. I can openly admit that I was able to coax him into going by letting him drink all the beer he wanted and turkey legs, and he said he wouldn't go in garb. His first experience was definitely a sucess garb or no garb.

We got in and sat down to watch Moonie's performance and Moonie called him up on stage! He had fun with that. He really started to enjoy the faire and I have to say I was jealous. He got more comments and compliments about his turkey leg than I got about my garb. He can't wait to go back.

I'm sure she'll find something at faire to enjoy and each faire offers something of their own.
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Offline Brother Gregory

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2012, 07:30:47 PM »
My wife will come out to faire and support us and tell her friend's about the faire, she will make all the wardrobe we need she just dosen't want to be part of it. I have told her that I'm fine with her jusy supporting us and coming out to talk interact.

Offline Lady Gregory

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #10 on: August 29, 2012, 01:09:15 AM »
I feel your pain.  My husband "hates" Faire and I LOVE it!  I've come to the conclusion that if I can get him to support my love of Faire I'll never bother him to come with me.  He has his likes and I have mine, it'd be unbelievably awesome if we could go together in garb and have fun but it just isn't going to happen so I don't push it. 
As long as your wife supports you in your love of Faire, call it good.  As you said, it strikes a chord with you and you love it.  For others, they don't.

This is my husband as well.  All is fine as he has his hobbies/interests that keep him busy.  I will go solo, with my children, or with my friend.  Each experience is different depending on who accompanies me to faire.  My parents will be coming up on Columbus Day for faire so we will make it a family outing.  Maybe all the cleavage will turn him around. :o

Hopefully, your wife will eventually warm up to it. 

Offline Merlin the Elder

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #11 on: August 29, 2012, 08:03:56 AM »
....  Maybe all the cleavage will turn him around. :o ... 

I talked a co-worker into coming to our renewal, and she brought her dad. When he saw all the boobage, he decided that he LOVED faire, and plans to go at every opportunity!  It's a definite draw for "cleavage" lovers.
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Offline BLAKDUKE

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #12 on: August 29, 2012, 06:17:56 PM »
Just waxing a bit anachronistic, but does any of this relate back to those old computer guys "drool and boobage'

let the groans begin.
« Last Edit: August 29, 2012, 06:20:16 PM by BLAKDUKE »
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Offline scarletnyx

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #13 on: August 30, 2012, 10:28:57 AM »
We both love it, but know a lot of couples that are split on the concept. We're often surprised by the number of men whose wives are not into it. For some reason, we'd think it would go the other way.

Tiny faires CAN discourage, but don't have to by any stretch of the imagination. Size does not matter, if the quality is good.

I had the same thought when Alex and I started going to faires together Merlin. I remember hearing some other male fairegoers stories about how their wives were vicious with their faire budget, or thought horrible things about their man going to faire alone and just thinking, " Well, if you don't like the hobby that is fine, but do not ruin it for your husband/boyfriend/whatnot."

I have a few theories as to this, each one more unlikely than the last. One of my main ( favorite ) theories is that most women nowadays just don't want to spend a day walking around outside looking at stuff to buy when they could do that with a Starbucks coffee in one hand and their cellphone in the other in the protective shell of a mall somewhere. Also, most modern women seem to be "skittish" when approached by cast/given the opportunity to interact with someone playing a "part". So maybe shyness/an inability to have confidence in oneself?

I really don't know where this comes from, and I hope I'm wrong/misjudging, but I've seen both in action. I've had other women I know look at me funny when I say I will spend a whole day dressed as a figure from history that we know next to nothing about, with my husband, out in the hot Texan sun like I was some sort of crazy woman. I have also seen more men than women ( read : danes ) skitter away from cast trying to interact with them while their male counterparts interact abit more freely.

Oh well, all of this just means that the ones of us who break the mold( husbands without wives, wives without husbands, ect) may be abit stronger/confident in ourselves than others :)
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Offline RenStarr

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Re: Getting my Wife to Love Faire
« Reply #14 on: September 01, 2012, 02:04:13 PM »
My wife and I both enjoy faire, but differently.  One day a year at each faire is enough for her, while I could go most weekends.  She enjoys wondering through the shops, likes some the lane entertainment, but doesn't care much for many of the sit down shows.  She prefers to dress Dane and doesn't understand why some folks spend allot of $$ on clothing that isn't worn often.  I enjoy the shops, the pubs, the shows and all the sights/sounds of being at faire.  Going in garb makes me feel more part of the festival and gets me in the best frame of mind to really enjoy a day at faire.  With her we do more shopping and see more of the craft items brought to faire.  Without her I see more shows and spend more time sitting in the shade, sipping on something cold, and talking with those I've met before as well as meeting new friends that I haven't met yet.  Either way, I enjoy the time spent at faire.  But I do wish her desire to get into the faire experience was at a higher level.  At least she doesn't hate it as some have already pointed out. 
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