10 yr HS reunions

[Auryn]

I am hoping for some insight.
My 10yr high school reunion is coming up this weekend- they are having 2, one at a club this saturday and then a potluck bbq on the beach the day after christmas. This reunion is not for the entire graduating class. In High School I was in a very small academic magnet program, there were 99 of us that graduated in 99' (yes I know).

It was a public school but I would say that 80% of the kids in the program were from very wealthy families- very upper middle class or even higher. I was in the 20% group from lower middle class (a bit lower for me actually).
My entire 4 years there I had 2 good friends. I havent spoken to any of them since high school. Even on facebook we 'reconnected' but havent had more than 2 casual compulsory conversations in 6 months.

Everyone else in my class I was friendly and social with, but nothing outside of class. In high school I didn't go to parties because I didn't drink or do any kind of drugs, and thats what most of the parties were.

Am I wrong for having no interest in going to these reunions?? I know they would be filled with forced social interaction and people just trying to one up each other on how well they are doing blah blah blah bs bs bs.

What do you guys think??

[Lord Dragonspyre]

Am I wrong for having no interest in going to these reunions??

Absolutely not. Based on what you've said, you have exactly nothing in common with these people, so why feel bad for not wanting to go? The only possible bright spot in going would be to see how the Jocks are now bald with a potbelly, the Popular Chicks are now frazzled, slightly overweight mothers chasing kids around, and see how the socially ostracized folks are now the well adjusted businessmen with no problems.

[VIII]

Auryn, I agree with FF Nerdity.  I have skipped my 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th, and 25th reunion for the same reasons you mentioned.  When I looked at the photos posted on-line after the last event, I recognised most of them, but realised that I had absolutely nothing in common with any of them.

My mother went to her 50th reunion a few years before she passed.  There were only 9 people and THEN they had something to talk about!  I'll shoot to make that one in 2028.

[Captain Jack Wolfe]

Count me in agreement as well.  I never bothered with my reunions because I still have nothing in common with those folk.  And I'm not the only one who feels this way, because the 25th  reunion was canceled due to lack of interest.  Pretty telling with a class of over 500. 

[Lady Nicolette]

I never went to any reunions, either.  Nor proms nor my graduation, for that matter, although I did graduate.  All of my friends were from other schools in the area or two grades higher than me.  Why go if you didn't have and still don't have anything in common?

On the other hand, those of us who are still living from my group of friends are planning a sort of reunion this February.  Some of us haven't seen each other since about 1977 (I graduated in '75), although I've kept one or two close friends among them...This is the closest thing to a reunion I'll ever have and I am looking forward to this one. 

[Auryn]

Thanks for the letting me know I'm not alone in feeling like it would be a waste of a saturday night.
I honestly rather sit at home watching a movie eating a whole tray of Ferrero Roches than hanging out with these people.

I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being too cynical.

[Noble Dreg]

I look at it this way...If I wanted to keep in touch with those people I would have...And indeed I do keep in close contact with several classmates.  It seems to me that getting together socially with a bunch of folks whose only commonality is a chance placement in the same school 10 years ago is pretty weak.  Why look back?

[Welsh Wench]

I had a class reunion in October. My class had 1100+ people in it.
I saw the pictures.
Am I glad I didn't go?
Yes.
I didn't recognize any of them.

My school was 80% Jewish. I was a shiksa (Gentile girl) and my boyfriends went to different schools.
I suppose if I wanted good kishkes or latkes I would have gone.

[Zardoz]

the Jocks are now bald with a potbelly, the Popular Chicks are now frazzled, slightly overweight mothers chasing kids around, and see how the socially ostracized folks are now the well adjusted businessmen with no problems.

Schadenfreude, the best reason to go!

[justsomeguytn]

I was friends with maybe two people in my high school (very small, graduating class was only 60 people).  The rest were only interested in popularity or trying to impress each other with how smart and alternative they were.  These reunions are basically just for the people who were popular to relive their "golden" years.  There are a few people who get lucky later in life and go to show up the people they didn't like.  I've done pretty well but when the organizer called I had no interest in being around the scum any more now that I don't have to.  So I told her I had no interest in going, to never call me again, and hung up.

I've seen one or two of them since then.  One that was already a fat ball of dough in high school has ballooned to triple the size.  He's married to just about the ugliest woman I've ever seen.  The other is an assistant manager at a department store.  I don't really have anything against her but was never really friends with her either.

[Lady Nicolette]

I suppose if I wanted good kishkes or latkes I would have gone.

This shiksa girl is making latkes tonight...And mine are really good.  You're invited WW!

What makes people popular in most school environments just doesn't tend to work as well on the outside.  I forget the exact statistic, but the suicide rate among those voted "most popular" in high school was higher than for those who weren't.  And their success rate if they didn't off themselves was way lower than most as well.  At least among my generation. 

[Welsh Wench]

I suppose if I wanted good kishkes or latkes I would have gone.

This shiksa girl is making latkes tonight...And mine are really good.  You're invited WW!

I loved their pastries. Nothing like a Jewish bakery!

One thing I did pick up is very colourful language. Sometimes only a Yiddish word will do!

[Zardoz]

Not sure why, but my class (1982) had a 5 year reunion.  Most of the class had spent those years safely tucked away at a university someplace. I on the other hand, had quit college after 3 semesters, rode my bike from coast to coast, ran numbers in New Orleans, been shot at by free-lance Marxists in El Salvador, and held a couple of crap jobs, like tarring roofs in Houston summer.  

At the reunion I remarked to a similarly 'well traveled' friend that everybody looked "so shiney and new" compared to us!

At the 10 year it was quite different.  I was married, fat and happy, and the rest of them had finally been beat down by life.  I was glad I went.

[Lady Nicolette]

I loved their pastries. Nothing like a Jewish bakery!

One thing I did pick up is very colourful language. Sometimes only a Yiddish word will do!

They did invent "oy vey!"  And of course a bunch more.  Like "meshuggenah," and "mensch,"  not usually seen in the same sentence...

[RSLeask]

I seem to be in the minority here as far as opinion.  While it isn't a bad thing that you don't feel like going to your reunion because of what you said, I would still say, it's a good idea to go.  Reasons why as follows:

1) Everyone has grown up.  10 years out in the real world, tend to change attitudes.  Those little cliques that existed, pretty much don't anymore.  Granted, I had more than a couple friends in high school, and they went to mine, and I talked with them a bit.  But I spent a majority of the time talking and catching up with people who I really didn't talk to all that much in high school.  It was... different.  Good kind of different.

2) It's interesting to see where everyone has landed in life.  People you expected to see succeed, that are actually in a rut in life.  People that weren't expected to go anywhere, now manager-level of companies.  Who's still driving the old beater they did in school, who's got the new cars (especially if you're one of the latter).  And the big thing is, no one's really judgmental of anyone's situation in life.  See above.

3) It's an excuse to go out, dress up, and have fun.  If nothing else, there's always that.  You'll probably find a couple others that are thinking the same, and if the party itself is a bust, people like that are easy to spot, and you can link up and have a blast.

4) Beyond number three, it's not just the party itself, but the afterparties that everyone ends up breaking off and heading various places to, where the real fun begins anyway.  If you got a small group of people at the reunion, head with them wherever you all decide.  If it's earlier than the reunion quit time, well... it's often better anyway.  And lasts the rest of the night, usually.

Honestly, I'm thinking you'd be pleasantly surprised if you go.  I know I was.  Everyone, no matter their walk of life, no matter where they wound up, had a great time.  The resounding complaint, honestly... the music was all current-day, and it would have been nice to hear the stuff from back then being played, lol.  But yeah, I'd definitely say take the time and go.