Random Quotes

[KeeperoftheBar]

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to
thank her.
--W.C. Fields

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than
alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine
invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so
let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
--Homer Simpson

[Welsh Wench]

'Ninety percent of people don't want to hear about your problems, and
the other ten percent are glad it's you.'

~~Anonymous

[Demetrius]

Of the six billion people on earth, nearly twelve billion have split personalities...


    -Hans Upinaire

[Lady Christina de Pond]

What ripples are you making? Possitive ones impact lives and change the world for the better.-me

[Richard de Graeme]

Larger than the horizon, smaller than a pea.

- Phineas Swano -

[Welsh Wench]

'Sometimes you have to go through a brier patch to get to a picnic.'

~~Lewis Grizzard, in defense of men with beards

[Peddlin]

"If you settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if a cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call them biscuits!"

                                                                                                  also Lewis Grizzard

[Jack Daw at Work]

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Groucho Marx

[maelstrom0370]

Dunno if this should go here or "Funny Pictures..." BUUUUUT.....

[Rani Zemirah]

 "He who understands Archimedes and Apollonius will admire less the achievements of the foremost men of later times."

~Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz~

[Captain Jack Wolfe]

"Democracy is messy" ~ Donald Rumsfeld

[Welsh Wench]

"When it gets hot people try to kill each other. We've got more of everything bad since the wave started. It's that crisis atmosphere, you know? People dress different, feel different, they sweat more - wake up cranky and never recover.

Everything's just a little askew. Pretty soon people think the old rules are not in effect. They start to break them. Figure nobody'll care, cause it's emergency time... time out."

~~Oscar Grace, Body Heat

And here I have a heat index today of 110

[Welsh Wench]

This one was too good to pass up--

'I don't care if you post when you are drunk--but for God's sake use a spellchecker!'
~~Joe Fabetes

[Anna Iram]

• "When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'" -- Jerry Lewis


Happy Fathers Day to all yoiu crazy Ren Daddies out there.

[Demetrius]

Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.  Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

-Dennis, Monte Python- HG