Comebacks to mundanes... and rennies while at faire

[Capt Gabriela Fullpepper]

Last year while walking around CoRF talking photos, I was in my noble garb. A gentleman walked up to me and said. Gentleman: Humph, since when did they have camera's in the Renaissance?
Me: "Sir, this is not a camera this is a Da Vinci box that has 9.1 mega pixies in it. I open their window for just a second and they paint me a perfect life like portrait of what they say in less than a second.
Gentleman : "Got a funny look on his face, and walked off confused looking".

This weekend Toki went to get us something to drink at CoRF. It was a hot and muggy day (before the major rain and lightning hit) He was bring back a Pepsi to share before we dump it into out 10oz chalices. A gentleman walks up to him and says

Mundane : "I've never seen a Renaissance Gentleman with a Pepsi cup"!
Toki: AH but good sir, this is Pepsi Throwback.
Mundanes wife: Hits him on the shoulder and says "See"
Mundane: Got a confused look on his face as she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him off.

As we were entering the front gate 3 weeks ago at CoRF the
CoRF Gate staff: Any more weapons.
Toki: "Only my tongue"
CoRF Gate staff: "Well we cannot peace tie that one.

We were headed back from the last joust yesterday and were chatting with two of our friends who dress as fairies. There wings are made of organic material such as plants. The court sheriff walks up to me
Sheriff: Stop taling to bushes,
Me: "What bushes"?
Sheriff: "The ones behind you that your taking too"!
Me: Turning around to look behind me  "I see nothing"!
Sheriff: Your telling me you don't see those bushes behind you that you were talking to?
Me: Turning around again to look "All I see is tree's over there"! pointing to a tree past the two fairies.
Me: Turning around to face the sheriff.  "Do you know what they say about people who see things that are not that"?
Sheriff: "No"!
Me: They say they are crazy"!
Sheriff: Are you calling me crazy"?
Me: "No, just slightly mad"!
Sheriff: Getting an angery and funny look on his face and stormed off muttering about the bushes and I talking to them and calling him crazy.

[Carl Heinz]

Unfortunately, I couldn't resist stepping on a guy's gig when he walked up and said he was the Lord High Sheriff (no such character on cast) and asked if I had a permit for my horse.  I replied "Yes, would you like to see it?"  He said "Of Course".  So, I hauled out ye olde gate pass for "Lightning Scooter-Horse".  He walked away muttering "I should have known better."  

[Captain Cornelius Howard Duckman]

As a gentleman who sometimes wears a kilt, i find the best answer to any man asking me what I'm wearing under it is a simple "Naught but yer mothers lipstick" And then leave them sitting there confused.

And one I have to use a lot of: Wearing a duck on my head, I get a lot of "Hey, duckhead!" or "You quack me up!" To which my usual reply is either "Don't be fowl" or "You're getting me down."

[Queen Bonnie]

 I hate the Question- Who are you supposed to be? Impertinent. I usually give them 3 guesses!

[VIII]

She: "You look just like the King!"
Me: "I am the King."
She: "No, the real King."
Me: "I am the real King."
She: "No, I mean you look just like King Henry VIII."
Me: "I am King Henry VIII."
She: "No, I mean the REAL King Henry VIII."
Me: "I am the real King Henry VIII."
Queen: "He is the REAL King Henry VIII!"
Her friend: "You're not going to win this one."
Me: "Not if 'we' can help it."

[GirlChris]

Last year while walking around CoRF talking photos, I was in my noble garb. A gentleman walked up to me and said. Humph, since when did they have camera's in the Renaissance. My reply "Sir, this is not a camera this is a Da Vinci box that has 9.1 mega pixies in it. I open their window for just a second and they paint me a perfect life like portrait of what they say in less than a second. He got a funny look on his face, and walked off confused looking.

Awww... I thought I was original coming up with calling them boxes with mega pixies!

[cowgrrl]

VIII:  You provided a much needed laugh this evening.  Thanks for that. 

[Ginette]

The 9.1 mega pixies comeback is great!   

[Tipsy Gypsy]

A friendly hawker at TRF tried once to entice milord to buy good luck charm; he wrapped his arm around my waist and said, I have one already". The hawker grinned and replied, "Well then, how about a honey stick?", to which I couldn't resist saying, with a wink, "He's got that, too!"

[DragonWing]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

Good one.


I love the Mega Pixies come back also. Just funny. 

[BLAKDUKE]

I am walking around faire(the 2 that I perform at) in royal purple or gold with Crown and someone will ask "are you the king?", to which I reply, "does the crown give it away??"  and I thought I was incognito.   

[Queen Bonnie]

 I'll never forget the lass who came up to Lord A and Said- "Oh you must be the Wizard of Oz!" Wrong wizard indeed! We all laughed.

[Capt Gabriela Fullpepper]

A very drunkin pirate walks up to me as I was holding my camera. He swayed back and forth then said
Pirate: A camera? What are you doing with a camera?
Me: It's a Canon and I'm about to shoot you with it!
Pirate: "OH,! (turns to a friend), It's a Cannon not a Camera!", then stumbles off moments after I snapped his photo
He was So drunk you could smell it on him. Needless to say he creeped both my sister ad I out and seemed to be trying to hit on us when he showed up.

[*Teach*]

Closing weekend of Scarby this year.
We had just entered the gates and were gathering the normal gang together to get ourselves moving about when an obviously troubled new mundane walked up with a rather serious question.
"How long is it appropriate to stare at the bodices before looking creepy?"
My response was to call my Lovely Lady over and say... just get it out of your system.
He responded by holding his program up so that he could look her in the eyes and manage a conversation.
My Lovely Lady calmly explained that within an hour you will have seen more cleavage than you ever expected to in life and that it is acceptable to stare with amazement at first lol.
I also explained to him that as long as he follows "zoo rules" then he would be just fine
Zoo Rules? Looking is ok, just don't pet the pretties without permission from the zookeeper"

*I then gave him a sip of rum and he was happy to be there from then on lol*

[Marietta Graziella]

Closing weekend of Scarby this year.
We had just entered the gates and were gathering the normal gang together to get ourselves moving about when an obviously troubled new mundane walked up with a rather serious question.
"How long is it appropriate to stare at the bodices before looking creepy?"
My response was to call my Lovely Lady over and say... just get it out of your system.
He responded by holding his program up so that he could look her in the eyes and manage a conversation.
My Lovely Lady calmly explained that within an hour you will have seen more cleavage than you ever expected to in life and that it is acceptable to stare with amazement at first lol.
I also explained to him that as long as he follows "zoo rules" then he would be just fine
Zoo Rules? Looking is ok, just don't pet the pretties without permission from the zookeeper"

*I then gave him a sip of rum and he was happy to be there from then on lol*

Teach, you and your lovely lady are marvelously good hearted.  I'm certain you made that chaps day!