Comebacks to mundanes... and rennies while at faire

[Tipsy Gypsy]

And props to the 'dane for having the courage to just ask!

[DonaCatalina]

She: "You look just like the King!"
Me: "I am the King."
She: "No, the real King."
Me: "I am the real King."
She: "No, I mean you look just like King Henry VIII."
Me: "I am King Henry VIII."
She: "No, I mean the REAL King Henry VIII."
Me: "I am the real King Henry VIII."
Queen: "He is the REAL King Henry VIII!"
Her friend: "You're not going to win this one."
Me: "Not if 'we' can help it."

I don't know if anything can top that one.

[LadyStitch]

Every year the Flamingo brother's go to TRF they get asked "Are you wearing that for Breast Cancer awareness?"  (If you don't know the Flamingo brother's wear full pink pirate and cavalier outfits)

My rogue turned to one of them and said , "No but we are certainly more aware of the cleaveage around us."  The proceeded to bury his face in my cleaveage.

[Francisco Paula]

One of the funnest times i had this season at the colorado faire was coming as the bright pink Hairy (male version of a Fairy). I was asked alot by other guys "Loose a Bet" and my replay was "No i won the bet"

Then there was times i would walk by a couple and the guy would say a snide comment and i would come back with "Don't laugh she is thinking of you in the outfit later" and almost every women agreed with me.

But best part of the day was walking in the gate waving at the prince above me and having him completely drop character laughing.

[jcbanner]

One of the funnest times i had this season at the colorado faire was coming as the bright pink Hairy (male version of a Fairy). I was asked alot by other guys "Loose a Bet" and my replay was "No i won the bet"

Then there was times i would walk by a couple and the guy would say a snide comment and i would come back with "Don't laugh she is thinking of you in the outfit later" and almost every women agreed with me.

But best part of the day was walking in the gate waving at the prince above me and having him completely drop character laughing.

That good sir, just made my day.

[LadyStitch]

To quote a pirate we re ran into at scarby, "It is not the pirates in black leather, with whips and such you should be afraid of.  It is the pirates in pink, because 9 times out of 10 they have the stuff to back up anything you dish out." 

[Francisco Paula]

right now i am on a search for a pink trench coat that will fit me to go with my pink hairy outfit so i can be the Fairy Godfather.

[The Rabbi]

right now i am on a search for a pink trench coat that will fit me to go with my pink hairy outfit so i can be the Fairy Godfather.

Kind sir that definetly creates a mental image Not sure one I was prepared for but an image none the less. Kudos on the comebacks as well.

[Nighthawk]

Not one from a faire, but I walked into a bar wearing my kilt once. Some guy asked me what kind of panties I was wearing under my skirt. I looked at his girlfriend and said "Hers. She left them on my bedroom floor last night. Want them back, sweetheart?" The guy was about to get up, all red faced, when his girlfriend said "You had that one coming!" which diffused any potential situation. Not that it mattered...

[Lord Clisto of York]

There was one day at the the Old Wisconsin Medieval Faire when the Johnny Depp thing was big. A mundane woman with her girlfriend walked up to me while I was in my knightly garb and asked -

Woman - Have you seen Captain Jack about?
Me - Captain Jack?
Woman - Yes
Me looking left and right - Oh..there's Captain Jack over there. (pointing to a man in a sircoat by the gate) That's Jack, the Captain of the guard. 
Woman - No, you know, Captain Jack Sparrow
Me - Dear lady, that is he. He told me several times that when he wakes in the morning, he has seen sparrows sitting on his window ledge singing.
Woman - No, no, no... He's a Pirate
Me - Pie Rat, you say!! Tis funny dear lady, but Captain Jack was telling me just the other day that the pie rats have gotten into most of the bakers pies. Nasty little buggers they are. Our town rat catcher does have his hands full. I would check closely for holes in them if I buy one.
Woman - Arrgh... Never mind.... (Her friend was laughing hard then told her "obviously he has never seen the movie". LOL...Then walked away.

Lord Clisto Duke of York
Knight of the Holy Blade of York

[robert of armstrong]

Wearing what I do to Faire can be a day long leg and back workout.  On warmer days (alright, I wear it on downright scorching days too), disbelieving mundanes constantly tell me "You look hot" or ask one of several variations of "Aren't you hot?"

My normal response is "Thanks unto thee, my lady" or "Thank you, my lord, although gentlemen are not my preference.  You may introduce me to your escort, however, if you please."  It sometimes takes a second for them to realize that I have taken their comment for a compliment before they ladies blush, the gentlemen smile knowingly and then everyone poses for a picture.

[cowgrrl]

Closing weekend of Scarby this year.
We had just entered the gates and were gathering the normal gang together to get ourselves moving about when an obviously troubled new mundane walked up with a rather serious question.
"How long is it appropriate to stare at the bodices before looking creepy?"
My response was to call my Lovely Lady over and say... just get it out of your system.
He responded by holding his program up so that he could look her in the eyes and manage a conversation.
My Lovely Lady calmly explained that within an hour you will have seen more cleavage than you ever expected to in life and that it is acceptable to stare with amazement at first lol.
I also explained to him that as long as he follows "zoo rules" then he would be just fine
Zoo Rules? Looking is ok, just don't pet the pretties without permission from the zookeeper"

*I then gave him a sip of rum and he was happy to be there from then on lol*

A few years ago we were at CoRF & watched the bellydance show they have there.  (I'm a bellydancer & DH is a drummer).  DH had stepped away for a bit before the show started & I was just hanging out waiting.  A teenage boy with his parents sat behind us & off to the side.  He started talking about how lucky that drummer was to be able to hang out with those dancers (they were beautiful).  I told DH about it afterwards & he said he wished he could have heard the kid because he would have told him the truth:

'After a few months you don't even notice'.

[VIII]

Not Faire, but Halloween at Screams where I play a dead pirate:
Patron: "Hey, Pirates of the Carribean!"
Me: "Hey, Dumb and Dumber!"

Patron: "Hey, Captain Jack Sparrow!"
Me: "Hey, Captain Jack-weed puller!"

[CecilsTanequin]

Classic responses folks! Bravo!

My personal favorite moment from last season was actually in response to a misunderstood question. See, sometimes patrons don't hear the question that comes out of their mouth before they say it. As a young woman with as flirtatious a character as mine is, I'm used to and often prepared for the sad attempts of patrons making a passes at me so when I was eating my lunch at one of our court tables and a Tommy-twocups, shaved head, sleeveless t-shrit type walked up with his friends and asked me "What's under your skirts?" I naturally took it at face value and coyly replied "Good sir, you have not been so unfavored by fortune in looks to make me believe you know not what is beneath a woman's skirts...". As I was saying this his friend mentioned something about hoops, which is when Tommy-twocups realized what he asked and how it sounded and turned bright red as his friends started howling with laughter at his faux-pas and my response. He had meant to ask how our skirts stand out (with the hoop skirt). We all had a wonderful laugh, with TT still bright red. His friend said in all the years he's known him, he's never seen him blush. My wit felt very accomplished that afternoon.