family sayings

[Rowan MacD]

Finer than frog hair...Split three ways  (pretty darn fine)

[arbcoind]

Harder than woodpecker lips

Gina

[Merlin the Elder]

"Hotter than a small-town constable's pistol"  I have no idea what that is supposed to mean, and I can't find any references to it. I know my dad used to say it from time-to-time, or maybe I have a word or two wrong.  Any clues?

[PollyPoPo]

Daddy used to say "useless as t * * s on a boar hog."

I would have had my mouth washed out with soap repeating some of things my Daddy said.   But everybody knew exactly what he meant.

[Merlin the Elder]

...heh-heh! If my mother knew what my dear departed Dad used to say... she'd probably kill him. His euphemisms were so colourful, he was "Technicolour."

[DonaCatalina]

I had a cousin tell me that 'from hell to breakfast' is an old cowboy saying. It came from having the herd get spooked and you knew you would be up all night finding them all.
Later it just meant something really screwed up that would take a long time to fix. Darryl was born in 1937 and used to raise cattle in Central Texas, so I guess he would know if anyone does.

has anyone mentioned 'rarer than hen's teeth' yet?

[Lady Christina de Pond]

an ex used to say if he was any better than he would be twins

[Lady Nicolette]

"If brains were made out of bones, you'd be a banana..."  Doesn't really make sense but you still get the idea somehow.
"Presbyterian crossing," for "pedestrian crossing," a misread on my sister's part at about age 4
using "logchain" for a word you can't remember or that shouldn't be said aloud in mixed company
We eat "paramecium cheese" on spaghetti and "college cheese," instead of cottage cheese.
My first husband's family used "stuffed to the bust," and ate "Uncle Russells," instead of brussels sprouts, both as mixups from the same ex, but as a toddler, and I've continued that tradition.
From Pink Floyd, whenever anyone is having trouble handling something, I always say, "Careful with that axe, Eugene..."  about 50/50 whether the recipient will get the context.
From "Rocky Horror Picture Show,"  I use "dangnubbit, Janet," even when a simple "dangnubbit' will do.  Multi-generational recognition here!

My friend, Michal (a woman), was so famous for twisting phrases unintentinally that her family calls anything like that a "Michalism." 

[Mairte]

LOL, saw someone else had this on here, when it was freezing my dad used to say "colder than a witches t##" as well.
My grandpa had all sorts of Czech sayings, most non-repeatable...

[Lady Renee Buchanan]

an ex used to say if he was any better than he would be twins

Oh my gosh, I say this all the time!  Don't know where I first heard it, but I've been saying it for years. 

[Lady Toadflinger]

Slower than molasses in January.
Deader than a doornail.
Dumb as a post.
Dumber than a box of rocks.
Running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

[Lady Renee Buchanan]

My best friend says this all the time, "I've got a brain like a sieve."   We've known each other since we were 5, and I remember hearing her mother say it.

[arbcoind]

We went to different schools together

Interesting as a bag of hair

If I were any better, I'd be selling tickets

Six of one, half dozen of another

Fair to Middlin (sp?)

Goat roper

Fence turtle

All hat, no cattle

Gina

[Mairte]

Another one. "If the shoe fits". I know that's a shortened version but what we always said.

[maeven]

One of my favorites is from my mom. She used to tell us, "If you're going to party, make sure you take your balloons!"

At least she wanted us to be safe...

LOL!