Recovering from Heartbreak

[Blue66669]

We've all been there. We've all, at one time or another, been subjected to heartache and heartbreak. We've loved and lost, been taken advantage of, been slighted, or cast aside. What do you do to help yourself heal? Do you erase the person from your existence? Do you plot revenge?

Please share your tips and hints for recovering from a broken heart...

[Anna Iram]

Ha! Plotting revenge is part of the healing process I guess, but just don't go out and do it Blue. Jail is no place to find a new friend.   

Be nice to yourself, it's like an illness the brokenheart thing. You've got to heal. Be with frinds. Do nice things for yourself, like a manicure or new underthings. Watch romantic movies and remeber for every guy that breaks your heart there someone else out there who wants to love you. Then make yourself available. Go out with your friends and shine!

[laedyfaire]

ouch..it always hurts.. just keep knowing that it is NOT you..that sometimes people change and want different things/people. every hurtful experience can lead to something BETTER!

go out and have fun..even if you have to fake it for awhile. it will soon come to be real.

i always say.."get out the fishing rod b/c there are a lot of fish in the sea".

" this too shall pass "

[PurpleDragon]

I have always found the best way to "get back" at someone is 'Be as Sweet as Sugar' toward them.  They honestly do not know how to handle it.  Unless of course the SOB has done something really unforgivable then all bets are off ~WEG~

[daylight]

 I agree with Lady faire, Ooch that hurts, and sometimes very much so. I`am sorry that has happened to you.[list

             I don`t know you personaly but I will share what I have with you ,Hope this helps.

Start by knowing when one door closes another will open. This just may not have been ment to be. So take the time you need to heal, and be good to yourself, find ways to enjoy being you and love yourself, that is prob the most important thing. If you are loving yourself and happy with who you are people will notice that, and  will be drawn to it.  You are special, each person is and there are things about you that no one else has, those my friend make up the who you are. That`s what people like about someone, the who they are. Be you and not anyone else, there of those who love you, because you are simlpy you. My friend love yourself, for you are the only you, you have, be good to her.

[Blue66669]

I suppose I should be a little more clear about my sitch...

I have the love of my life. I married him and he's the best thing in the whole world. What I lost was my friend. An ultimate betrayal. I suppose I have a bad habit of tightly winding my life, love, and self into those that I care about. So, when I lose one, it hurts as if I lost a significant other- another peice of my life and soul that I gave to someone that didn't deserve it.

[SirRichardBear]

I've found the best way to handle things like this is to take a week off work get drunk for a week and then pick up and start over again.  I've course at my age I'm mostly beyond things like that.  Now days it shiner bock happen, shiner bock happens all the time, god hates me so shiner bock happens, so whats the big deal lets enjoy life till shiner bock happens again.

[Pinn]

 So sorry to hear abiout you losing your best friend. I had a best friend for 11 yrs and suddenly one day he didn't want me in his life anymore.Marathon phone calls, he was there for me when my 2nd marriage busted up, I was there when his father passed. And this happened 10 yrs ago. It still hurts to this day.

[Kiss-me-Kate]

I suppose I should be a little more clear about my sitch...

What I lost was my friend. An ultimate betrayal. I suppose I have a bad habit of tightly winding my life, love, and self into those that I care about. So, when I lose one, it hurts as if I lost a significant other- another peice of my life and soul that I gave to someone that didn't deserve it.

Oh, sweetie, I can so relate.

I don't even waste brain cells on it, though.  I usually move on.

[knarlyknot]

I feel that people are in our lives for a reason and if they are no longer in our lives, there's a reason for that too.  Before you write this person off completely, is there any chance that there was a misunderstanding?  If not, then my advice is focus on yourself.  Take the time to tell the friends you have left how you feel about them.  And remember that we all love you and are here for you.

[Ferret]

I am sorry to hear.
Unfortunately this is how our planet works. Some days you get rain, some days sunshine. The simple faith that your sunshine will come again helps you through the bad.
With time and healing, it will. Keep busy. Keep close to family and friends, they will be there if you need them. You know you the best, allow yourself the time you need. It is okay to cry. It can cleanse the soul and give you a new outlook.

I don't know if it will help. But I heard of a wise king. He wore a ring, inscribed on the outside was the saying "This shall pass". When ever things were rough he read the inscription. One day he got so mad, the ring no longer brought him comfort, he pulled it from his finger and threw it as far as he could. After a bit he felt foolish. So he went and found the ring and picked it up, then he saw an inscription on the inside, it said "This to shall pass".

I've lived through some terrible hurt. I'm telling you from experience. Your hurt will pass.
Ferret

[Ferret]

If I might add.
Always look forward. Tomorrow is a brand new day, just for you. Spend it wisely and you will be rewarded.
Don't totally erase someone, they will float away on their own. The wonderful thing about the human mind is that over time, you do tend to remember the good.
And don't waste yourself with bad thoughts or plots of revenge. You only hurt yourself. You've already suffered, why add to it ?
Ferret

[anne of oaktower]

Hi Blue.  This is something that always helps me get through the tough times...

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.  They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.  They may seem like a godsend, and they are.  They are there for the reason you need them to be.  Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.  Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.  What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled;  their work is done.  The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.  They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.  They may teach you something you have never done.  They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.  Believe it!  It is real!  But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.  Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);  and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. 
(Author Unknown)

Sometimes the hard part is realizing that the ones we thought were there for a lifetime were really only there for a reason or a season.  Here's hoping you can find the gift in all this and move on.  (ie:  What did you learn from this person over the years?  Tolerance of others?  Acceptance of self?  A new spiritual belief?  How to put feelings into words?  Whatever it was, take it and go forth, offering that gift to others.)

[Dayna]

What helped me was realizing, and then internalizing until I believed it, that They made the decision to do something unforgiveable, and that I did not want to be associated with someone who would do that.  Whatever good things I got from them could be gotten somewhere else, and the sooner I stopped expending energy on the past, the sooner I could use it to a more positive purpose.

As I was clearing up some areas of the house from when I'd first moved in 6 1/2 years ago, going through the boxes, etc. I found something I'd written during my divorce proceedings.  It was a list of things I would no longer have without a husband, and what I could do to replace them. 

Lawnmowing - I hired someone to do it with the money I was no longer wasting on him.
House repair - I hired someone to do it or learned to do it myself.
Backscratches - I bought a backscratcher.
Companionship - I became the mommy of a beautiful chihuahua, much more loyal and loving than the   human she replaced.
Social life - I made friends and developed new interests since I no longer had him to fill the time.

Am I better off?  Heck Yes!!  Am I a better person?  Don't know, but it actually seems I'm a Different person, and I like this one a whole lot more.  I lost two good friends for similar reasons, with similar issues.  Sewing partner - found others.  Companionship - see chihuahua.  etc. etc. et. 

It hurt for various lengths of time, and I still wonder how I could have not known they would betray me, but I didn't, live and learn and do better due diligence in future.  We can't change what other people do, however we can change the way we react to it. 

Hugs and good wishes, Dayna

[renren]

I have always found the best way to "get back" at someone is 'Be as Sweet as Sugar' toward them.  They honestly do not know how to handle it.  Unless of course the SOB has done something really unforgivable then all bets are off ~WEG~

Wot he said!
Usually throws them off,they can't think!