Children that smoke cigarettes

[Lady Gwyndolyn]

I don't know if we have a thread on this already, I looked and didn't see one.

Now, it isn't my children that smoke, thank goodness.  However, my son did come home the other day stinking to high Heaven of cigarettes.  I smelled his hands and his breath.  He didn't smell of cigarettes, actually he smelled like Taco Bell, which they had eaten hours earlier.  Anyway, I find out that it is some of his friends that smoke.  These kids are 16 and 17 years old.  What can we do to keep our children away from cigarettes???

[Lord Dragonspyre]

What can we do to keep our children away from cigarettes???

Take the ones who smoke and make them watch high definition videos of lung cancer biopsies, tracheotomies, and other medical procedures related to smoking, over and over again...

Kind of hypocritical of me to say, given that I'm a smoker (hopefully for not much longer), but whatever...

[Anna Iram]

Lock them in a box?

You can't keep your children away from things that will harm them once they strike out on their own, and scare tactics don't work. Being a teen is all about trying on different identities and seeing what fits. Try not to make smoking a shameful thing they have to hide from you. Talk to them about their choice to do so *when they become of age* and perhaps discuss the average cost of a nicotine habit and what saving all that money by NOT choosing to smoke can buy them. A backpacking trip across Europe maybe? Set up a saving program for them . One specifically for them to put their potential cigarette money into. Make it a positive choice.

[Marietta Graziella]

We have always made a point of showing smoking in a negative light to our children.  My mom was a smoker (it was part of what killed her) and we would talk about it on the way to their house and on the way home.  The kids would notice the smell on everything that had been there, even for a short while. 

The point being, smoking can't be a 1 time talk.  It has to be ongoing, when the opportunity arises, not a lecture.  Perhaps your son can help them quit by setting the example of saying no.

[Lady Nicolette]

I was a heavy smoker for many years (two packs a day, sometimes more).  The thing that I always bring up is how hard it is to quit.  You may also want to mention that even though the first few times you smoke it gives you sort of a high, that feeling goes away when you smoke regularly.  Plus it makes you stink, your clothes stink and for those with longer hair, your hair even stinks.  This I know after being a non-smoker and hanging out in rock clubs that still allowed smoking (back when they still did in CA).  Plus the advice to bring your kids up with negativity about smoking is a good one, mine still swears he can't stand the smell of it and he's 15.  I doubt that he'll even experiment with it because of that.  Best of luck to you!

[Tipsy Gypsy]

My cousin's husband said once, "Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray."

That's an image that'll stay burned in your mind... 

[Lady Ann of Draycott]

Simple...you can't.  All you can do is talk to them about it and hope they make the right decision.  If you tell them they can't, or say you are going to reprimand them if they did, they will just want to do it even more. 

I asked one of my best friends one time when she started smoking and why.  Her response did not surprise me...she told me she started smoking in High School just to get back at her Mother because she knew it would make her mad. 

[tigerlilly]

Talking about lung cancer, emphysema (sp?), throat cancer, high blood pressure, heart disease, etc. may not work.  They're likely to think, "it won't happen to me", or "that won't happen for a really long time, so why worry about it".  It may be far more effective to point out the bad breath, stinky hair and clothes, yellow teeth and fingers, extra facial wrinkles, dull complexion, and gum disease (complete with tooth loss).  Mention that many people find smoking to be a turn off.  And gory oral cancer pictures are way scarier to teens than pictures of blackened, shriveled lungs.  They're vaguely aware of their lungs as those things they breathe with, but oral cancer messes up your face.  Oh, and it can kill you too...

[jcbanner]

That's about the age I was when I started smoking 8 years ago.  I wish I had never started, but once you're hooked, it's hard to stop.  I knew how bad it was, and for a while, I would always, I mean ALWAYS turn down a cigarette when offered.  My friends knew I didn't want to smoke, and so they didn't press me to it.  In the end, it came down to my own decision to start.

the best advise I can offer, is to be open with them, don't try and scare them, don't threaten them, for some that works, but for others, the scare tactic only make it harder for kids to talk to their parents.  Instead, tell then about how you're proud of them for not smoking despite being given the opportunity.

It might also be a good idea to encourage them to talk to their friends that do smoke.  I smoke, but my friends don't,  my friends don't necessarily like that I smoke but they tolerate me none the less, as a courtesy, I don't smoke around them.  If their friends don't smoke much around them, they are less likely to pick it themselves.  Their friends may also be more likely to quite themselves if they feel isolated by smoking.

I honestly believe that it would have been easier to quite if I had quite when I was that age. 

[Lady Aldyth]

They smoke because they think it looks cool. I just point out that I and my daughter's Grandfather smoke... yeah, real cool factor THERE! LOL

[Anna Iram]

Not meaning to hijack this thread, but I really need to post this link. For those who started smoking and just cannot quit on their own. I was one of those dumb teens who took up smoking because it seemed "cool".  I smoked for years until I found this. It's offered at many hopsitals throughout the country. They do offer a home course too, though I think group support is important.

http://www.smokestoppers.com/webstop.dll/home.html


....okay...I'm done now.....

[Lady Neysa]

I don't think I'll have to worry about my kids smoking,  at least I hope not.   My daughter never wants to go to her best friends house because her mom smokes, and my daughter can't stand the smell.  She says it just about makes her sick, so..the best friend always comes to our house. 

It's also hard to keep kids aways from cigarettes when some adults won't even take it seriously.   Not to go off on a rant....but.... recently my son got in trouble on the school bus, simply because he stood up and changed seats...he did nothing else wrong.  The bus driver even said he didn't do anything wrong except change seats, but she  kicked him off the bus for a day anyway. 
One of the reasons my son changed seats was because a kid sitting across from him was hunched down in his seat smoking a cigarette.  My son told the bus driver this, but it made no difference, and she didn't do anything about the kid smoking.  This occured at the start of a 4 day weekend ealier this month, but the next school day I went to talk to the assistant principal in charge of my son's grade.   I expressed how angry I was that my child got in trouble over something stupid, yet nothing was done to the smoker.  Her reply was "Since it happened 4-5 days ago, I can't do anything about it now."  "He should have come to me before."  Gee, he tried to do the right thing by telling the bus driver, who in theory is supposed to be a responsible adult.  He didn't feel that he should have had to do anything further.  Soo...the smoking kid got away with it scot free, and will probably continue to do so....I was extremely disappointed and disgusted at how this was handled. 

So what is one to do when adults choose to look the other way? 

[Lady Renee Buchanan]

Our younger son started smoking at age 13 to be "cool" like his older cousins, who used to give him cigarettes.  By the time he was 23, he had a hacking cough, sounded every morning like he was going to cough his lungs up, stank from the smell, and we always made him smoke outside, even in the 30 below temperatures.  His father and I never rode in his car, because of the smell of smoke, and he was always, always broke.

Last New Year's Eve, he made a bet with 2 of his friends who could stop smoking the longest.  They all stopped on New Year's Day.  None of them wanted to be a "wuss," so no one would give in and smoke.  The first 2 weeks, we lived with a bear, but  put up with it, because we knew that it was to his benefit that he didn't start again.

Well, he found out quickly how soon cigarette money adds up.  He has bought several new hunting rifles and shotguns, plus accessories (he loves hunting but could never go because he didn't have the equipment -- no $).  Some of his friends still smoke, but he hasn't had a cigarette in almost a year and has no desire to.  I think the savings was a big help.  Once he saw how nice it was to have the money to buy things he wanted but could never afford was a big factor.  Plus now he gets up in the morning, no hacking, no constant bronchitis, and he feels better.  Sometimes they have to find out on their own and make the decision to quit, although we wish it could have been different and that he had never started.

[Lady Nicolette]

My first husband's family had a tradition of giving $100 to anyone who quit smoking.  Joe (the first husband) really wanted to buy a flute, so they actually gave him the money the morning he quit so that he could go and buy it and also have something to do in place of smoking.  These days it might need to be more money, but it was a good incentive.  I like Lady Renee's idea of having a contest among peers, too!

[Lady Neysa]

I think the money factor is a huge incentive to quit.  To some people, the health benefits from quitting may seem abstract like Tigerlilly said, but you'll see the money benefits immediately.   My husband quit smoking 14 years ago. We  complained how expensive cigarettes were, and were glad of the financial savings, and back then they were only about  $20-$22  a carton. I can't imagine paying today's prices.