Interrupted journey

[DonaCatalina]

Esteban stepped between us and held up both of his hands. His voice shook as he said "Stop right now. Before anything else is said, I think we need to wait for my father". Ramiro turned his face away from me when he answered my brother "Yes. I think we need to get a good night's sleep. You will want to be rested when your parents arrive." Ramiro opened the door that led out. Esteban took the hint and fled the room and towed me along with my arm in his grip. As he hurried us both down the stairs he stammered "Did he...have you... has he?" "No" I replied sharply "he has behaved with perfect decorum." The dim light of the candles hid my blush as I remembered the feel of Ramiro's lips. My heart was racing when we reached my room, but I tried to convince myself that it was because of the hurried long descent. I could tell that Esteban wanted to say more but he was not sure exactly what to say. In the end he settled for telling me "Papa will be here tomorrow". Before I could close the door he added "Papa will settle all of this, have a good night Elvira". I whispered "Goodnight" as I closed the door and shut out the sight of his worried face. Maria had waited here to help me undress for bed. She said nothing about my absence from dinner as she helped me into bed. We said our goodnights and for a long time I stared at the ceiling through sleepless eyes.

[DonaCatalina]

The next morning I could barely drag myself out of bed. It must have been nearly sunrise before I had fallen asleep. Maria chided me for sleeping well past breakfast. The sun was well on it way to noon as Maria helped me bathe and dress. She waited patiently as I ate the breakfast that she had brought up from the kitchen. But she stayed behind when I left the room to go in search of my brother. When I got to the dining room, I could see Esteban and Ramiro out in the center courtyard. Judging by their gestures I would say they were arguing, but the noise of the fountain kept their voices from being heard in the house. After last night's scene, the sight of this argument made me hesitant to join them. Some type of sweet fruit juice was still on the sideboard so I poured myself a cupful and watched them through the window. Esteban was still arguing with Ramiro when one of the men came in the front and went through to the courtyard. I saw him lean over to speak to Ramiro before he returned the way that he had come. Ramiro stood, came into the house and passed me without a word. Esteban had followed him but paused when he saw me. "Papa is here" he told me; then after a moment's hesitation, followed Ramiro towards the front door. Realizing that my parents would be anxious to confirm my well being with their own eyes, I gathered my courage and followed them both.

[DonaCatalina]

Papa was already out of the carriage when I came out of the front door. I ran to him and threw my arms around him. "Mi avita, I am so happy that you are safe" he murmured as he hugged me tight. Mama stepped out of the carriage and pulled me into her arms. Ramiro drew their attention when he spoke "Senor and Senora, I beg your pardon for interrupting your reunion with your daughter. Please accept my hospitality while you are here." He gestured towards the open front door and asked "If all of you would please come inside we have a lot to discuss". The he turned his intense blue eyes on me and added "I am sure this will take some time before all is said and done". Papa turned to Don Ramiro and replied "We would be pleased to accept your kind offer. There is quite a lot of this story that I have not heard yet" The two men turned their backs on the rest of us as they walked into the house. Just inside the door, Papa introduced himself "I am Hernán de Silva and this is my wife Lucia. I understand that you are Don Ramiro de Medina. I am Hernán de Silva and this is my wife Lucia" Ramiro acknowledged Papa with a nod and replied "I am pleased to meet you both. Your children bear a strong resemblance to you both". Ramiro led the way inside and we followed. I was puzzled that the usually boisterous Esteban remained quiet and lagged behind everyone else. Just before we went into the parlor, Ramiro exchanged a look with Esteban. With a determined expression on his face, Ramiro stopped in the hallway and said "Don Hernán, I would ask to speak with you man to man while your daughter gets a chance to speak with her mother". Father started to protest but when he looked back at Esteban, something in Esteban's expression made him think again. He gestured for Ramiro to lead the way and Esteban followed the two of them inside. Ramiro shut the door behind him.. "What on earth was that about?" Mama asked me. I spread my hands in surrender and replied "I wish I knew. I am as surprised as you".

[DonaCatalina]

We went out onto the patio and sat down.  I may have been able to refuse Esteban's demands for my story. But I could not refuse my mother. The whole telling took quite some time. Mama only stopped me a few times to ask questions. The part about finding the secret passage made her praise my perception. It was amazing to her that anyone could notice such small details in order to make such a discovery. She laughed aloud when I told her about the theft of the horses. I omitted my moonlight conversation with Ramiro. But I was surprised to find at the end of the tale that the men still had not emerged. The torrent of words that had poured out left me feeling tired and thirsty. I sipped some water and waited for a comment from my mother. Her face was pensive as she shook her head sadly and said "It is certainly a shame for Don Ramiro that his own nephew would do such a thing. But sometimes desperate men do things that they otherwise might not have done." My mother was a charitable soul and was willing to give anyone the benefit of a doubt. Whatever she would have said next was stilled by the sound of the door opening. The men walked purposely towards Mama and me, with Papa in the lead. Whatever the discussion had been was not apparent from Papa's closed expression. Esteban's face was a mixture of puzzlement and irritation.

[DonaCatalina]

  "Madam" Papa announced to my mother "It seems we have found our daughter only to lose her again" Mama gasped and her hands flew to cover her mouth. "Or perhaps I should say" he continued "That we will be gaining a son-in-law". I looked from Papa to Ramiro to Esteban for an explanation. By the expression on her face, Mama had been taken as completely dumbfounded by this announcement as I had been. Papa took in our shocked state and finally explained. "Don Ramiro has asked for Elvira's hand and has given me some compelling reasons to agree." He turned to me and traded Mama's hands for mine. Then he led me forward and placed my hand in Ramiro's. I felt dizzy as the implications of this sank in. Ramiro's touch felt very hot as he slipped a heavy gold ring on my finger. At that point Mama burst into tears. Papa looked solemnly at me and asked "Are you willing to marry this man?" Ramiro's hand clenched tighter on mine as he waited for my response. I swallowed twice to clear the lump in my throat and whispered "Yes".

[DonaCatalina]

Papa and Ramiro disappeared back into the parlor and Mama took me by the arm and whisked me off to the courtyard. I went along with her in a stunned daze. She chattered on about the plans we needed to make. It took a moment for her behavior to penetrate my foggy thoughts. But I soon realized that her animated chatter was a cover for her nervousness. Mama told me that she would insist that we would all spend this night in Ramiro's house. But we would have to leave for home early the next morning. My silence unnerved her so that she tried to fill the gap herself. Mama told me that she would expect all the banns to be read. This meant at least a month before the wedding would take place, even if my father asked for a proxy ceremony. She explained what I already knew in my heart, that if I married too quickly there would always be rumors about what happened during my kidnapping. I must have made some appropriate responses to her comments, but I had no memory of what I said. We gathered in the dining room for dinner. The men ate at one table, while my mother and I were seated at another. Messages went out, sent both by my father and Ramiro. We ate and the men talked and ate and talked some more. I knew that my future was being planned at the table where my father and brother ate with Ramiro. But I knew that my duty was to do what my father directed me to do. Truthfully, at that point I was past caring, so I made no effort to listen to what they discussed. Mama said little while we ate. It was if she had exhausted herself earlier. Dinner ended; the day passed and I was finally glad to retreat to the solitude of bedroom. Sleep refused to come as I tossed and turned in the sheets. The night was hot enough to add to my restlessness. Restlessness which I finally admitted was born out of my frustration at having my life decided for me. Finally I decided to sit outside and cool off. With my eyes closed I sat on the stone bench and let the night wind blow across my face. While not exactly cool, the open air had a more relaxing effect on me than the stuffy air of my room. Somehow I was not surprised when two hands descended on my shoulders. Ramiro's face was in shadow as he looked down at me. I rose shakily from my seat to face him.

[DonaCatalina]

  My whole body shook uncontrollably. Ramiro stroked my left arm and commented "You are trembling. Are you that frightened of me?" I dropped my gaze and replied "No.....and yes. I think maybe...... I do not really know". It was in fact the truth. My head spun and my stomach tied in knots from the stew of emotions inside me. "Talk to me" he pleaded "Tell me what you are thinking". I took a few deep breaths and asked "Do you love me? How could you? You have only known me a few days". He took a deep breath and looked up at the stars. When he answered his voice was deep with emotion "Yes, I am in love with you. I did not want to admit that, but it is the truth. It seems that since the moment I first saw you that everything I learned about you pushed me in that direction. I listened to your story and saw a loyal, courageous woman so unlike any other I had known. Could you not have gotten away quicker if you had not been so solicitous of your maid's advanced age? You were not afraid to walk in the dark amid dangers you could only imagine". He fell silent for a moment and looked at me. "Why would you be afraid of me?" he asked softly "Does my scarred face repulse you?" I sat back down on the bench and Ramiro sat next to me. "To tell you the truth I think I am afraid of my own feelings and not you. After the first few times I saw it, I hardly noticed your scar anymore so that has nothing to do with my feelings" I responded to him "I did not feel courageous. I could only think of getting back home and my life would return to normal." I stopped to blink away hot tears that threatened to fill my eyes. With my hands clenched tightly together I told Ramiro "Now I feel as if I am looking into an unknown abyss. I expected to marry someday. But I always thought it would be one of Papa's friends or allies. Now nothing will ever be the same again and that is what frightens me."

[DonaCatalina]

  Ramiro held my hand softly stoked my fingers as we sat in silence. Some time passed before he cleared his throat and spoke again "I told you that I avoided women, but that was not exactly true. I have avoided women of my class. The women I have known have been of that low sort which the common soldier finds comfortable. I was pleased and surprised as I came to know you; that you are everything that they were not. You are innocent and honest. Even the funny way you play chess was something to like about you." He paused again as if he expected some response. I squeezed his hand to encourage him to continue. At that moment I could not have spoken if I had wanted to. "I know that life with me will be very different for you. But I promise to do everything in my power to make you happy." Ramiro stood up and pulled me to my feet. His face looked down on me from only inches away and I did not retreat from him. His hands moved to my shoulders and pulled me against him. "Let me seal that promise with a kiss" he murmured just before his lips closed over mine. This was not the fleeting touch of his previous kiss. He kissed me and caressed my face. Then his lips worked their way down my neck as I shivered in his arms. Ramiro held me so tight that I felt the heat of him all along my body. Fire burned through my skin and into my veins everywhere that we touched. When he released me at last I was breathless and dizzy.

[DonaCatalina]

Maria's voice called from the doorway and I jumped backwards in surprise. "Mistress, please come inside." She called out "It is not good for you to be out here alone with a man" she pleaded "Even if you are engaged to married." My wobbly legs barely obeyed me as I walked towards Maria. She closed and locked the door behind me. With her hands on her hips Maria watched as I climbed into bed. "You should know better than to sneak out at night" she wagged her finger at me "You should be asleep". She made a snort of disgust when I did not answer. She made sure that I climbed into my bed before she returned to her bed. Usually she closed the door from my bedroom to the sitting room, this time she did not close the door behind her. Maria made sure that if I might leave my room, she would know about it. Sleep eluded me for a long time after I had lain down. I lay awake and tried to make sense of what had happened and my feelings were. I knew that what I felt now was somehow different and more confusing. Every time I closed my eyes I remembered again the feel of Ramiro's lips on mine.

[DonaCatalina]

  In the morning we all rose early and began packing to leave. Since the one carriage that my parents had arrived in would be too crowded with me and Maria in the same carriage with Mama, Papa and all their attendants. Papa arranged to borrow a carriage from Ramiro for my journey home. Ramiro would ride with us as far the convent with his horse tied to the back. Sister Catarina needed to be returned to the convent so she went along also. Papa planned on spending one night in the convent before pressing on towards home. When we all set out, Sister Catarina sat quietly and watched as the scenery passed by. Maria glared at me and Ramiro as we sat together on the seat opposite her and the nun. She still had not forgiven me for my nocturnal excursion. This made for a silent, slightly uncomfortable trip. When we came to the turn in the road, the carriages stopped. Outside the carriage saw several men had stepped out from behind some brush with crossbows. One man shouted for everyone to get out of the carriages. "I am a damn fool for leaving my guards at the house" Ramiro hissed in anger "I have only a dagger with me." We climbed down into the bright sunshine. When everyone was lined up outside the carriages another group of men rode up on horses, Hector in the lead.

[DonaCatalina]

"You should have known better than to send so few guards with me Uncle" Hector sneered at us "My men were more than enough to overpower that pitiful band of soldiers". As Hector's bandits searched the carriages for valuables, I slipped Ramiro's gold ring into the front of my corset. I was wearing no other jewelry. Papa's signet ring was not visible on his finger so I assumed my mother was hiding it and probably her wedding ring also. Hector rode forward and stopped in front of me. "I think perhaps that I can still collect a ransom for you after all" he said as he smiled evilly at me. He gestured two men over and ordered "Bind her hands and put her up in front of me". When the two men grabbed my hands to tie them, Ramiro launched himself at them and overcame both of them with just his dagger. Then he turned on Hector and pulled him from his horse. Esteban and Papa pulled their daggers on the two men closest to them while Ramiro and Hector wrestled in the dust. Hector tried to wrench the dagger away from Ramiro, while he obviously sought to merely subdue his nephew. Esteban made a move to intervene, but Papa restrained him. After he landed a blow that stunned his nephew, Ramiro stood up and waited for his next move. Hector managed to stagger to his feet. For a several heartbeats the two men faced each other like matador and bull in the ring. Then suddenly Ramiro staggered as a crossbow bolt plunged into his back, followed quickly by a second bolt. He fell to his knees in front of me. His eyes were closed and he shuddered before fell onto his side. I dropped to my hands and knees as I stared in disbelief at the red trickle oozing into the dust. As I knelt beside Ramiro's body, Hector walked up and stood over us. His face was evilly distorted as he gloated over his fallen uncle. His self-satisfied tone chilled my blood when he said "You thought you would prevent me from taking your pretty toy away. You were wrong."

[DonaCatalina]

Ramiro's dagger lay in the dust beside him. My heart ached as the bloodstain continued to spread slowly across the back of his doublet. The shadows of the two men who had fired their crossbows from hiding came up and joined Hector's. One spoke to Hector "The men are anxious about being on the open road." A glance told me that Hector's attention had been diverted away from me. A hot fury rose up in me as I closed my fingers over the hilt of the dagger. To conceal the dagger, I slid it under the edge of my skirt. Only when I saw Ramiro dead before me was I forced to admit my feelings to myself. My heart broke as I realized my love for him, too late now to return his professed love for me. The pain of his loss, and any hope I might have had for the future, burned my heart like a flaming coal. Hector grabbed my arm and pulled me up from the ground. The dagger I kept hidden in a fold of fabric. One of the maids sobbed softly behind me. My intention was to make sure that I followed Ramiro in death very soon. To suit Hector's vengeance, I knew that his treatment of me would be neither pleasant nor quick. His face was dark with anger and his cruel intentions. "You have made me an outlaw for good" he shouted at me viciously "You could have gone home unharmed after the ransom had been paid. You and my self-righteous uncle will both pay for this." Though he twisted my wrist cruelly, the fire in my breast left me too numb to feel that pain. When I looked at his dark hand closed around my small white wrist; it felt as if I saw him grasp someone else's arm. Blood pounded in my ears and my surroundings seemed distant and unreal; as if they were something seen in a painting. The dagger that might be my release from this world felt warm in the grip of my other hand. One of Hector's men brought a horse over to where we stood. It gradually became apparent to me that Papa and my brother still held daggers against the throats of two brigands. Hector turned in their direction and shouted "My men will shoot anyone else who moves. Release those two or she dies now." Papa lowered his dagger reluctantly and Esteban followed his lead.

[DonaCatalina]

Every fiber of my body focused on Hector and my only thought was to avoid being carried off by him. It felt as if the rest of the world had faded away and no longer existed. The sounds of activity around me were something I heard only dimly, like far distant thunder. My left wrist showed the red marks from Hector's fingers after he released me to gather his horse's reins. When he turned his side towards me and reached for the saddle horn, I saw that he had given me an unexpected opportunity. Like a wild animal I sprung at him. With all the strength I could muster I buried the dagger up to the hilt in Hector's side. The impact of blade grating on bone jarred my arm up to my shoulder. The shock of the blow made Hector jerk sideways. His hands scrabbled blindly to find the dagger between his ribs. Eyes wide and one hand clutched on the protruding hilt, he slid down against his horse's side. With enormous effort, he used his other hand to pull himself upright by clinging to the saddle skirt. With an unearthly groan he pulled the dagger out. A spurt of dark blood followed the blade's exit and soaked through his thin shirt. Hector held the dripping dagger and eyes blazed with hatred as they focused on me. The red spatters turned the dust black where they fell. Hector swallowed hard before he stepped towards me, dagger held in front. He stopped and grimaced in pain. He took several more steps towards me before his eyes glazed over. He was already dead before he landed face down in the dirt.

[DonaCatalina]

This was one lemur that I knew would not haunt me. What I had done left me feeling sick inside, but Hector left alive would have continued to hurt others besides myself. Even though I had hoped that Hector's death might be the preservation of my own, I knew that it would not bring Ramiro back. My fury drained away and left me exhausted. I looked around me and found that the other bandits were down or had fled at the fall of their leader. Papa and Esteban had dispatched three of them. A crossbow bolt was imbedded in the side of the front carriage near where Papa had stood. He had a slight cut across the back of his hand which Esteban helped him bandage. Mama and Sister Catarina were kneeling beside Ramiro. Hot tears blurred my vision as I sat on the ground beside them. The Sister looked up at Papa and said "He still lives. If we can get him to the convent quickly enough, we may save his life". Dizzy with shock I watched as Ramiro was lifted from the ground by Papa's direction. Immediately the servants loaded Ramiro into one carriage with Sister Catarina. My father's attendants also moved the other bodies to the side of the road. Papa went with Ramiro and the nun and the carriage took off at a breakneck pace. That left the rest of us with the second carriage. Hector's body remained among the other dead brigands alongside the road. Mama, I and the servants got into the other carriage and followed. When Mama and I arrived, Ramiro had already been moved to the convent's infirmary.

[DonaCatalina]

The Converso physician thought he could remove the arrow, but it would be difficult. It was late in the afternoon when we had arrived. I sat on the convent's veranda with my mother and watched the shadows grow longer and longer. Food and wine were served to us as we sat and waited. The nuns lit the lanterns just as the sun's last rays faded. It was fully dark when one of the nuns came up and spoke to us "Senoras, the surgeon has gone. The Count is asleep, but you can see him if you wish." I stood up immediately and hurried to follow the sister inside. I had not even waited to see if my mother followed. Ramiro's face was pale even against the white of the pillow. He did not stir when I sat down and took his hand in mine. The sister who acted as the nurse told us "The surgeon said he was strong and he had hopes for the Count's recovery. But of course, all is now in God's hands". She left me and my mother alone with Ramiro after that. It was a mark of my distraction that it took some time for what the Sister had said to sink in. "Count?" I looked at my mother quizzically. Her eyebrows rose before she responded "You did not know?" Confused I shook my head to answer her. The strangest look crossed her face after though I could not fathom what it was that had puzzled her. Mama touched my shoulder then and told me "You should go to bed now. He is not likely to wake before morning." With fresh tears in my eyes I looked up at her. "No" I replied "I will wait. If he never wakes again, I want to be here to know." She patted my shoulder and sighed in resignation before she left the room.