Things you wish you could say to Danes going to Fest for the first time...

[Kiss-me-Kate]

I would LOVE to tell newbs the following:

1)  Wear comfortable shoes.   Miss Bimbo- today is NOT the day to wear your pretty flip flops to show off your pedi.  Wear tennis shoes at the very least.  With socks.  
2) Wear SUNBLOCK!  Reapply often.  You are getting way more sun than you think.  Lobster colored skin does not look becoming on anyone.
3)Don't be a complete douche and only bring 100 dollar bills.  Bring smaller bills.  We don't/can't break your 100 dollar bill for you on the two dollar item.
4)In the same vein, don't use your debit/credit card on a two dollar item.  The swipe fee on small purchases makes us lose money on the transaction.
5) Please buy your little brat child the wooden sword on the way out, when you leave.  I am tired of being clocked by your little one, because YOU can't pay attention to YOUR child.  Believe it or not, the wood toys actually do hurt.
6) Drink A LOT of water.   We don't want ya fainting or puking from heat stroke.  
7) Please tip your server/performer(s)-that may be the only pay they get.
8 Yes, it is hand made.  That is why it isn't 99 cents at Walmart.  If you want pathetic junk, shop there.
9) Turn off your phone when you walk through the front gate.   Enjoy your experience at Fest.  Immerse yourself in the magic.  You can call whomever back.  It really isn't THAT important.

I am sure I will think of other things.  What would you love to tell Newbs.  Good or bad.  

[Alysea]

Well said Kate!!!!

First of all, I would tell them that just because I am dressed in period clothing, I don't have anything to give to your kid, so please teach them to not bug everybody else.

Secondly, I make what I wear and it is mine.  Keep your hands and your kids hands off my stuff. 

Thank you and welcome to Faire.

[lys1022]

• I hope that you have such a wonderful day that you get completely pulled into the illusion that we are trying to create for you.
• I hope that it sparks a curiousity about history and how things REALLY were that you find yourself reading and learning about it all, which then triggers you to want to learn more about other things.
• I hope that your children get wide eyes as they meet their first Faerie / Royal / Villager.
• I hope that you see how important good manners were and are, and that you use that lesson to instill into your children that some things (like good manners) never change
• I hope that you come back again and again and celebrate life with us, because that is what we're all here for and every one of us started as you.

[Tink]

Great answer, Lys!

[Captain Cornelius Howard Duckman]

High Heels are not appropriate wear for muddy faire days!

Do not grope the wenches, without their permission.

Look, but don't touch.

Yes, I have heard that joke before. But I will laugh and trade another one with you.... just please don't keep making the same joke everytime you see me. It is a small faire, and we pass often, and it stops being funny.

You'll have more fun if you play along!

It's not embaressing if everyone does it!

[iain robb]

Well, personally, being a bit of a joker, I would like to tell first-time Danes things like ...

"Well, it's called a codpiece, and the reason it's called that is because men used to put a whole cod in them to make themselves more appealing to the ladies."

[raevyncait]

*sunblock, applied often, and liberally, trust me, you'll be grateful at the end of the day, when you aren't bright red
*comfortable shoes, you'll likely be walking on dirt, grass, and pebbles (and you'll feel every one of those pebbles in your flip flops or barely there sandals)
*When I tell you my merchandise starts at $5 & goes up to about $40, please don't ask me what I have for a dollar, this is not the dollar store
*water is your friend... I understand that you'd rather drink beer/mead/soda, but I would rather not see you on the ambulance cart with the guys in orange, so please drink plenty of water
*while you're watching that show, please turn the phone off, or at least make it silent, so as not to interrupt either the performers or the enjoyment of the audience
*enjoy your day and enjoy the atmosphere, we are not all technically part of the show, however most of us understand that you assume we are, and we want you to enjoy the festival enough to return and bring friends

[DonaCatalina]

• I hope that you have such a wonderful day that you get completely pulled into the illusion that we are trying to create for you.
• I hope that it sparks a curiousity about history and how things REALLY were that you find yourself reading and learning about it all, which then triggers you to want to learn more about other things.
• I hope that your children get wide eyes as they meet their first Faerie / Royal / Villager.
• I hope that you see how important good manners were and are, and that you use that lesson to instill into your children that some things (like good manners) never change
• I hope that you come back again and again and celebrate life with us, because that is what we're all here for and every one of us started as you.

- I love your attitude!
But I would definitely add that garb is for looking only; please don't encourage your child to come up and grab my pearl girdle.

[Amyj]

Pirate Bob and I have something we like to say to the wee little ones...the newly born wee little ones...when we see them at faire with their 'Dane parents: "Welcome to the world, it really IS this cool!"  That kinda works for the older 'danes too.

I especially love to see the looks of childlike wonder on "hardened and jaded" adults when we garb them up and "drag" them to faire (luckily with the help of my parents who were "garbed up and dragged" a few years ago themselves).  It's really cool to find out that you CAN feel that burst of imagination and amazement that you had as a child...no matter how old you are.

[Kiss-me-Kate]

But I would definitely add that garb is for looking only; please don't encourage your child to come up and grab my pearl girdle.

I hear ya, there.  YES that whip hurts if you hit me with it.   

[Nighthawk]

This has been an interesting thread so far! So... What do I tell new people going to a festival for the first time? Very simply, those of us who are putting on the festival are still people- please treat us with the same respect and dignity that you would want to personally be treated with. This means- my sword is sheathed for a reason! Don't go grabbing at the things that I'm wearing! That's really my biggest pet peave- when people try playing with my clothes. As a couple of you have stated, I personally have hand made a lot of the things that I wear, and while it's not fragile (meaning it's mostly made from rather thick leather) it's still my clothing!

Second thing- take in the shows! Even if you can't afford to tip the performers, make sure to show your appreciation! I often can't afford to tip. Being an artisan, often I can barely afford to go in the first place! But I always make sure that performers at least know that they are appreciated!

[Lady De Rue Rue]

I would just like to add the perspective of a ren faire parent of a well behaved ren faire child with manner on some newbie issues.

*Ask us the parents before you start taking pictures of the little lady and then make the comment "why is she hiding behind your skirts?"  Is it not clear she to you she does not want her picture taken right now?  Come back later and maybe she will want her picture taken or move on to others.

*"Why does she walk with her hand behind her back?  Is there something wrong with her?"  No, there is nothing wrong with the little lady she was taught at a very early age not to touch anything that is not hers, to act like a lady and mind her manners.

*Please don't ask the little lady for directions in front of her parents, it's not cute.  And then walk off in huff and say under your breath "what a brat".  She doesn't know you, so why would she talk to you?  Better yet, ask the parents who are standing right in front of you or check the FREE map that you can pick up at the entrance.

*"How can you allow her to play on the pirate ship and in the dirt in her costume/garb?"  She is three years old and we expect her to play in and enjoy herself and it's washable just like her.

*"Did the little lady change her costume/garb and come back to the faire?"  Yes she did because, it's hot outside and we are not into having a toddler pass out from heatstroke.

Finally, I close with Lys remarks I love your attitude - that's what the faire is all about!

• I hope that you have such a wonderful day that you get completely pulled into the illusion that we are trying to create for you.
• I hope that it sparks a curiousity about history and how things REALLY were that you find yourself reading and learning about it all, which then triggers you to want to learn more about other things.
• I hope that your children get wide eyes as they meet their first Faerie / Royal / Villager.
• I hope that you see how important good manners were and are, and that you use that lesson to instill into your children that some things (like good manners) never change
• I hope that you come back again and again and celebrate life with us, because that is what we're all here for and every one of us started as you.

[Kiss-me-Kate]

I would just like to add the perspective of a ren faire parent of a well behaved ren faire child with manner on some newbie issues.

*Ask us the parents before you start taking pictures of the little lady and then make the comment "why is she hiding behind your skirts?"  Is it not clear she to you she does not want her picture taken right now?  Come back later and maybe she will want her picture taken or move on to others.

*"Why does she walk with her hand behind her back?  Is there something wrong with her?"  No, there is nothing wrong with the little lady she was taught at a very early age not to touch anything that is not hers, to act like a lady and mind her manners.

*Please don't ask the little lady for directions in front of her parents, it's not cute.  And then walk off in huff and say under your breath "what a brat".  She doesn't know you, so why would she talk to you?  Better yet, ask the parents who are standing right in front of you or check the FREE map that you can pick up at the entrance.

*"How can you allow her to play on the pirate ship and in the dirt in her costume/garb?"  She is three years old and we expect her to play in and enjoy herself and it's washable just like her.

*"Did the little lady change her costume/garb and come back to the faire?"  Yes she did because, it's hot outside and we are not into having a toddler pass out from heatstroke.

THANK YOU!!!!!  For raising a nice kid.  There aren't enough of those around.   
(not that mine is an angel!    )

This is fun to read, keep em' coming. 
Fest Friday anyone?  I have to say I LOVE the school kids that come in and LOVE LOVE LOVE every second they are there.   After they aren't so shy, they are fun to talk to.
It keeps the Ren alive for another generation.   

[Lady De Rue Rue]

You are welcome Kiss-Me-Kate, it's a hard job being a parent. I can't even count the times I have been sent to the Tower or to the Dungeon by the little lady but, overall we are doing our best to raise her with manners.  My lord and I agreed that the little lady would have manners, treat others with respect, lead by setting a good example and give back to others.

And there have been time when she does act up (which is normal) thus, we apply the cash and carry method at restaurants and other places we go as a family, if she can't mind her manners and act like a lady, time to go.

[lys1022]

Great answer, Lys!

Thanks!  Believe me, I know the frustration of dealing with people who just don't seem to get it.  But every time I start to get annoyed or bothered, I remind myself that a good 99% of them just honestly don't know and if they're going to learn it's got to start with me.  Yeah, there's that percentage of people who just don't care that they're being jerks or stupid or whatever, but taken as a whole they're such a small percentage that it isn't worth it to let them ruin my day.

Some of my favorite interactions have come from striking up conversations with people who just plain didn't want to be there, and then finding a way to get them to see the magic.  At the very least, if I don't manage to get them to find a piece of the magic for themselves, I can help them see how magical it is for other people, and send them on the way feeling happier and smiling instead of complaining.  Those are amazing moments, and I treasure the memories of them.